Losing Game
by Niham87
Summary: Six years ago Beth had a one-night-stand with a tattooed stranger, she thought she would never see him again. Now he is back... a threat to her life and her deepest buried secrets. *Warning* Slight Canon Divergences/Domestic Violence/Rape/Non-con/Drug Abuse
1. Disclosure

Like the cascade of water over her shoulders, Beth felt the weight of it all crashing down on her.

Finding out her husband was cheating on her had not been easy, even when she'd done it first, six years ago.

She couldn't care less about his secretary, her marriage was a sham, had been for a very long time. But she had laid so much effort in it, it hurt to know it had been all trivial. The worst of it all what he had hidden from her... the financial predicament they were in.

She let the tears flow under the shower hot water, feeling sorry for herself and the state of her life. For the past six years, she had lived through a smokescreen. She'd tried so hard... It felt trying was all she'd ever done. Try to fix her fractured marriage and make amends for her own infidelity, while she held on to a broken shell of herself. Even when she knew there was no fixing, she kept trying... for the kids, for gratitude, convenience, for appearances, but most of all, weakness. Her early strife with Dean flowed her mind.

She had been waiting for him. When he finally arrived, striding straight for the fridge and looking extremely relaxed for someone who just worked until the late hours of the night. She was sure if she got close enough he would reek of sex and tacky perfume. She'd snubbed the little stab in her heart, refusing to feel anything but indifference.

"If you're looking for the vodka, I drank it." She'd slurred.

"What are you doing in the dark?" He seemed surprised to find her there.

"Guess I'm used to it after twenty years." Beth deadpanned, the afternoon spent binge drinking offered her the boldness to face him, in a way she hadn't been able in more than six years.

He gave her an obscure, mystified look, with his droopy face and blank eyes. That expression was common... when he was about to award her a _striking_ , sometimes even _stunning_ surprise... with a closed fist. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means your child-bride wears very expensive underwear,"

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, unquestionably nabbed. Beth had almost laughed, but there were other, more pressing things she wanted to discuss.

"It doesn't even matter… why do we have three mortgages that we haven't paid? Why do our credit cards all have advances on them and we have hardly anything in our accounts?" Beth continued, pointing to the papers on the table. The look on his stupid face was making her want to scream. Suddenly it was all too clear, even under the haze of alcohol... they were in deep trouble.

"I… I've made some bad investments… lost some money, but…"

"We have children!" Beth finally lost it. "Are we going to lose this house?"

"Look, I've dropped the ball, that's all. I've made some bad decisions but the sales are up, I'm sure…"

Beth cut him, she didn't want to hear the stream of bullshit coming out his mouth. She wanted the truth. "ARE WE GOING TO LOSE THE HOUSE?" She asked firmly.

Her heart sank as Dean looked at her with tear filled eyes. "I DON'T KNOW… maybe."

It had been a shock, but most of all she was scared. She was weak. Her fingers brushed over the shape of a fading yellowish-bruise around her upper arm. Dean's fingerprints embedded in her skin.

If ten years ago someone said she would be in this position today, she would have said they were crazy. But then, ten years ago she was a different woman, ten years ago she would have never let her husband smack her around for his ill pleasure. Heck, she was surprised he didn't put his hands on her after her little upburst earlier. Their financial situation must be that bad, it usually took way less for him to lose it.

But it was time to stop the self-pity, she couldn't afford any at the moment, she would not stand by and watch her children's future go down the drain, this she could fix. She was going to rob that grocery store.

 **\- 3 Weeks Later -**

She was in the kitchen preparing the kids' school lunch and feeling proud of herself. Three days ago she had robbed a grocery store, and walked away with half a million dollars. She gathered every ounce of that pride and spoke to Dean.

"I've handled the mortgage. And I'm going to need the password for our accounts." She stated as he grabbed his mug of coffee.

"You handled the mortgage? How?" Dean asked surprised.

Gosh, every time she looked at him she'd wonder how was it possible that she'd loved this man once, and hoped nothing lingered from that love. She tried not duel too much on her feelings for her husband. She favoured not to feel... when possible. "It doesn't matter how… I handled it because you couldn't."

Beth stepped back as soon as the words left her mouth, but he was faster and soon enough his hand was squeezing around her neck. Regardless, this time she didn't cower. "I've packed a bag for you. I want you out of the house."

"Bettie, dear. You're overstepping your place here." He warned. Voice calm but anger flicking in his light blue eyes, he pushed her harshly, her lower back slammed against the sink hard enough to make her moan in pain. "I asked... How-did-you-paid-the-mortgage?" He repeated, squeezing her neck harder with each word and Beth found herself struggling to breathe. She tried in vain to loosen his grip, curling her fingers under his. "How, Beth?" She couldn't answer even if I wanted to as black and white dots start to flash behind her eyes.

The sound of the kids coming down the stairs made him release his grasp. Fighting for air to reach her lungs, Beth leaned on the benchtop for balance. Behind her, Dean glided his hands over her hips, on what might have been a lover's gentle caress, but for Beth was nothing else than repulsive. He then thrust his groin against her. It sickened her to feel his excitement, her stomach churned dangerously as he ran his hot tongue over the side of her neck.

As fast as he started he stopped. He sighed, breathing over her skin, making her shiver in fear, waiting to be hurt. But he simply whirled her around and hugged her. It didn't make her less fearful.

"Beth, I'm sorry. I-I lost my temper. I'm sorry." He whispered in the crook of her neck. "I'll do what you want, I'll go away for a few days, okay? We'll work through this. Like we always do."

Beth didn't say anything, she couldn't. She just stood there, tense like a bowstring. His way of 'working through things' usually conveyed a black eye for her.

The kids finally barged in the kitchen, but it didn't end his torment. "I love you, Beth." He said, then his lips touched hers and the feeling of his sloppy tongue invading her mouth was almost too much to bear. Thankfully the kids demanded his attention and he quickly stopped the kissing. The one thing Dean loved more than punish her, was their children. She had to turn around to compose herself, the last thing she wanted was for the kids to notice something was wrong. They left for school with Dean shortly after, as they said their goodbyes, Beth noticed the promise on Dean's eyes, he would go but they were far from finished.

Once alone, she looked in the mirror above the fireplace not recognizing the reflection anymore, what happened to her? From high school A's student, voted most likely to succeed turned housewife extraordinaire and husband's scapegoat. Wasn't life grand! As the tears trailed she noted that the red marks on her neck were starting to bruise, she would need makeup to hide that.

Hours later she was sitting in front of one of her biggest mistakes, she didn't like to classify it like that, but she lacked a better word. It had been a transgression but not an error. The last thing she expected in her life was to see him once more, but then again she never in her wildest dreams thought she would rob a grocery store and walk away with half a million bucks.

Yet here they are, in her kitchen waiting for the girls to show up.

For all she remembered of that fatidic night, he might not even be the same guy, but the eagle tattoo on his neck was a painful reminder. How many guys would have one just like that? Besides, there was this thing... a pull, an uncharacteristic tension stretching between them, one she'd only felt for a stranger in a seedy bar. There was the aura about him that was remarkably familiar, she was 100% sure this was the man she'd betrayed her husband with, six years ago.

At least he didn't seem to recognize her, or so she thought.

Blurry flashbacks from that night storm her brain… his lean tan body moving against hers, she even recalled how is short crisp hair felt against her palm, her loud moans of pleasure as she took him deep inside.

Beth shifted uncomfortably on her seat, as an unexpected warmth spread in her lower belly. She couldn't remember the last time she had any kind of voluntary sexual arousal, Dean had taken that away from her a long time ago. Swallowing the knot in her throat she dared to look at him, heat spread over her cheeks. He was staring at her from under half-lidded eyes that gave nothing away, and the cocky half-slime, made her even more uncomfortable than the golden gun resting on the counter. If he remembered her she was probably one of many one-night-stands, nothing memorable. But for Beth, that night had left a mark, one she would treasure for the rest of her life.

The girls finally arrived and they have been sitting down for at least 10 uncomfortable minutes, whilst he inspected her kitchen.

"Yo, this backslash is dope! What's that made out of, marble?" At the sound of his voice, the three of them jump a little on their seats. "You ever get any problems with stainin' back here?" He asked pointing to the back of the stove. "Like if you cookin' a big pot of spaghetti sauce or somethin' like that?"

Annie elbowed Beth urging her to answer. "No, I... I don't think so." Beth mumbled, her voice just a little shaky.

"Nah? Hmm." He went back to admiring the backsplash like it was some intricate masterpiece.

"We didn't know you owned the store." Ruby blurted out after a few seconds of tense silence.

He chuckled amused, "Do I look like some kind of grocery store manager to you? What, like rotary club or somethin'?" He asked, walking closer to them, "Nah, let's just say we got certain arrangements with some local businesses. I mean, we help each other out and what not, you know?"

"Like… money laundering for drugs?" Ruby remarked, whispering between her teeth, "I told you it was shady!"

"How 'bout you stop worryin' about my business dealings and start figurin' how you gonna pay me my money back." He said harshly, making the three of them jump again.

"We can get it back," Beth confirmed promptly.

"Well, that'd be great." he smiled slyly.

"Most of it!" Annie added almost inaudibly.

"Sorry, what?" he asked looking at them like he was about to flip.

"Some of it for sure…" Annie babbled as he chuckled in disbelief, then she snapped at the girls, "Oh, what? Like you guys didn't spend a dime!"

"How much Annie? Beth asked.

"I don't know, probably, like... 100… grand?!"

"WHAT?!" Both Beth and Ruby complained, jaws dropping at the amount.

"I could shoot you myself!" Ruby threatened her.

"Nah... you just gonna pay me back, that's all. And right quick too, with interest! So… I'll see you real soon, yeah?"

As he was about to leave he stopped, "You known, you gotta be careful ladies." he said, waving the gold-plated gun in their direction, flashing a dashing half-smile. "I mean with citrus in marble, lemon and what not. That stuff will corrode like crazy!"

Then his attention focused to Beth, "Ain't it a surprise?" his dark brown gaze roamed all over Beth's body, the tip of his tongue performing a lewd little lick over his lips, "Thought I'd never see you again."

All of a sudden Beth's mouth went sandpaper dry, and cold sweat pooled at her nape. _Fuck...fuck...fuck, this couldn't be happening._

"What the f… Do you two know each other?" Annie's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as she looked between them in total shock.

"Oh, me and… what's your name again? Bella? Nah...Beth!?" His gold plated-gun pointed at Beth while he mentioned the fake name she'd gave him that fateful night. _Oh, he remembered her all right._ "We go way back… ain't that right, sweetheart? He remarked, putting his arm around her shoulders. Beth sucked in a shaky breath as she felt his weight and strength of his lean body. She didn't recall him being this solid, but then again that night was a hazed blur in her mind.

"I'll leave the details to you, yeah?" He grinned and slipped his bottom lip between his sharp teeth sensually, but his dark gaze was harsh and full of anger.

As soon as the door closed behind him, both Ruby and Annie started to talk at the same time, barking questions and demanding answers. Beth opened the drinks cabinet, still a bit shaky and grabbed the bourbon, serving a very large portion to herself, she took a large swig. They finally shut up noticing how she hadn't said a word so far. Beth calmly asked them to sit and serve 'em some liquor.

"Do you guys remember Lorain's bachelorette party?" She said taking another large sip for courage.

"Which one? That bitch has been married, what? Like seven times?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. She might be a bitch, but damn… she does know how to throw a party!" Annie remarked looking absently far away, recalling the parties with a longing sigh.

Beth sighed, grabbing the bridge of her nose, a tremendous headache was brewing behind her eyes. "I don't know, it was seven or six years ago. When the party ended, the three of us shared a cab, you guys remember?"

They both nodded so she continued. "After I dropped you guys the taxi had a flat. It was very late so I decided to wait for the driver to change the tire instead of taking my chances to get another taxi. There was this bar, just on the other side of the road, so I decided to go in for a drink and he was there."

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" Asked Annie in complete disbelief.

Beth chuckled bitterly at the astonishment on her face, they didn't know the half of it. "Dean and I were having problems at that time, I was lonely, he was nice and we drank some tequila... you guys know how tequila makes me do stupid things. Next thing I know... It's mid-morning and I wake up on this shabby roadside motel, alone, naked and sore… as in sex... sore." Beth trailed off wondering how long would it take for them to figure it out the math.

"Daaamn!" they both say at the same time.

"I mean, not judging but holy shit, Beth! That's so not... you! What the fuck?" Annie added after a few minutes of silence.

"Wait… wait a minute!" Ruby almost jumped from her seat. "How long ago did that happen again? Seven, six years?" She started counting using her fingers. "Oh my… Beth!? Oh my lord! Oh, my... my sweet baby Jesus!" She just looked at Beth in complete utter shock, mouth hanging half open.

"Wh..What? WHAT?" Annie screamed, snapping her head between the other two.

Beth burst out in guilty tears under the understanding stare of her friend.

"Emma... Emma is the gangbanger's child!" Ruby finally let out.


	2. Roll The Dice

Your opinion is always welcome! Thank you people who find the time to comment, and all those who read but don't have the time to comment too! hehehe

Love to Brasil. Eu falo um pouco de portugues! :D

* * *

Beth cried. The way she hadn't cried, since the day she had to tell her husband that she was pregnant with another man's child.

The sobs rocked her till the core, at the same time some weird kind of relief settled in her soul. Like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest as soon as the words left Ruby's mouth. The truth seemed to be indeed releasing, but only partially. She was still chained to this lie until all the parties knew the truth. And that was something that would never happen.

After a few minutes and the second glass of bourbon, Beth had calm down enough to talk.

Annie, straight ripping the band-aid, "Does Dean know?"

Beth nodded. "We never really talked about it, I mean about the real father. I told him about the affair when I found out I was pregnant, he's not stupid, we weren't having sex for a while and I couldn't... after being with another guy, I just couldn't... be with him and lie about it." Beth shook her head as tears flooded her eyes. Sensing her distress, both girls came and sandwiched her in a bear hug.

"Hands down for Dean tho! Never saw him treating Emma any different from the other kids. I'm really surprised." Annie stated and Beth had to nod in agreement. Dean was an exemplar father, his anger was towards her. It was deserved and she was fine with that as long he kept it that way, as long as he didn't touch her children.

"What about the gangbanger? Does he know?" Ruby asked just to make sure.

Beth laughed bitterly "I don't even know his name! Hell, I didn't even remember what he looked like until today! Only his tattoo."

"I'm fucking surprised it's you and not me! I mean getting knocked up by the hot gangsta guy? Holy shit! How was the sex by the way?" Annie asked laughing and Beth rolled her eyes at her.

"Very mature Annie! Like any of that is gonna help us!" Beth snapped at her.

"What? Now that you guys bumped into each other again maybe he is willing to let this money thing go! He certainly looked interested… If a guy looked at me the way he looked at you… Hmm-hmm, I would drop my panties real fast!" she added just to tease Beth.

"I don't think we were seeing the same thing. The only way he looked at me was with anger, if there was any lust there, was for my blood! He had a gun to my face for Christ sake! Don't be stupid!" Beth said losing her patience.

"Me stupid? You're the one that got knocked up by a gangbanger." She returned making Ruby intervene.

"Guys…"

"Not that it is a competition but, being knocked up at seventeen doesn't make you any better!" Beth stuck in casually.

"Guys! This is not the time! We literally have a death sentence hanging up our heads, we need to pay them back, like now."

"You're right. We need to focus…" Beth started only to be interrupted by Annie.

"Why didn't you told us?"

"What?" Beth asked in confusion.

"Why didn't you told us about Emma and the gangbanger? And Dean? I mean I knew it wasn't all roses and sunshine, but you never let out a peep about being unhappy enough to go and have an affair, that's not how you do things, how we do things! Six years and you never said a word, nothing… nada!" Annie said, anger and hurt all over her pretty face, "Is there something else we should know, Beth? Something else you're hiding?"

Beth's heart dropped, and a pang of anguish kicked her stomach. Suddenly she felt the need to disclose her other secret but quickly pushed it down with a large swig from her bourbon.

Annie and Ruby were everything for her, but Beth was so used to be everyone's shoulder to cry on, her own problems never seemed as grave or urgent as everybody's else. She was so in her mold, she learned so much in the comfort of being the irreproachable pillar between the three of them, it never even crossed her mind to confide in them. She couldn't. Being perfect, strong and capable, in their eyes, was all she had left. Being that pillar was what kept her going.

And today a crack had already marred that pillar, she saw it forming as it happened, right under Ruby's gaze, when she'd put two and two together. She simply couldn't tell them the truth.

As Beth had found a while ago, lying came much easier than the truth. "I'm not hiding anything. Dean didn't want anyone to know. It was the least I could do after what I did to him. To our marriage."

Annie's next words surprised her. "Are you sure, Beth? Are you sure you're the one who started the damage to your marriage? 'Cause I never bought Mr. picture-perfect Dean, all so good, so nice and all sooo so dumb! There was always something… off about him, something that tickled my spidey-senses. I can bet you, this isn't his first hoe."

Beth was aware of Annie's animosity towards Dean, but she'd never put it so out there before. Not ever was she so close to the truth either, there was something off about him, but it wasn't other women. It was Beth herself, she had pushed him to what he was capable of doing.

"Enough guys! This isn't the time! I don't know about you bitches but I want to live another day. We can discuss all this when the gang is off our backs! So, how we gonna paid them?"

Beth dropped on the sofa, exhausted and with her headache reaching that 10/10 pain level. "I mean, I already paid my mortgage, I can't get that money back! You spent more than 10k on Sara's medicine, that ain't coming back either!" Beth turned to Annie, "What the hell did you spend 100g's on?"

Annie smiled sheepishly, "Ergh…"

"Please, Lord… don't let her say drugs!" Muttered Ruby.

"Good GOD, Annie! Just spill it!"

"A Porsche! Okay? I bought a Porsche!

Both Ruby and Beth moaned with a mixture of relief and disappointment.

"At least I can return it, and see some money! Not like you bitches!"

* * *

Beth eyed the gun pressed to her temple detachedly. That detachment was, perhaps, aided by the one and a quarter - the initial plan was to take two, but she'd thought that much might knock her lights out - tablets of oxy that she'd drown with a bourbon that morning. Remnants from a couple years ago, when - with the assistance of Dean - she'd 'slipped' on the staircase and broke her ankle.

She was tired, so tired, of men who thought they could do whatever they wanted using violence and harassment against women. First, that little grocery store turd going after Annie, how he tried to rape her… it had hit close to home, uncomfortably close. To think her sister almost went through something like that… it pushed her over the edge. She'd had wished the gun in her hand was real. It was the first time she thought herself capable of killing someone. She'd wanted to when she grabbed that bottle to bash his head in.

She was tired, so tired, of her own husband violence and his even more subtle ways to humiliate and degrade her. Of confusing her, with gentle words and his professed love only for seconds later to be shown the back of his hand, followed by more empty promises of change.

Just like last night, when she'd chicken out of Marion's house, running to her house afraid he'd find the disgusting turd in the treehouse. She'd had stood up to him again,

His eyes had flared with anger while she gave her speech, my house, my lawn. When he noticed her empty hand, 'What happened to your ring?'

'I took it off.'

For a moment, in the shadows, she'd mistaken that anger for sadness. That was until he backhanded her, her lip splitting instantly.

'I'm tired of your act of morally superior lady when you were the one who slept around first.' He had said pacing around madly as she'd cleaned the blood with her palm, 'God knows only how many others might have been between your legs ever since!' She'd flinched as he grabbed her by the wrists pulling her close to his body and into a hug, 'Forgive me, Bettie! I didn't mean any of that, I just get so jealous… don't you see how much I love you? How much it breaks me not to be with you? I need to be back home, Beth.' He caressed her lip with his thumb. 'I'm so sorry, Beth. I want to change, I really do, but I need your help, I need your love. I need to be back home with you and the kids.'

Yes, she had made mistakes, she had fault their wedding vows, but what right did he have to do what he did? To scare, shame and abuse her? More if he loved her so.

Beth stole a glance at the man typing away on his phone, all so casually and indifferent, while his henchman held a gun to her head. Who did these men think they were? God? Was it that easy for these men to play with them? To take their lives? To shoot them like dogs because they were short a few grand.

She didn't hogtie and kept that disgusting worm on that tree house just for nothing! They tried! They'd sold, pawned, and squeezed every cent they could, robbed a racist old lady, all for what? To die! All while he typed away in his phone like there were expendable? Worth nothing?

"You're an idiot." The words doused out of her mouth before she even knew what she was doing. Ruby and Annie shrieked her name in alarm. "What, are you gonna blow our brains out all over the room? 'Cause that's how it works, right? Someone shorts you, and they get tossed out like trash? And no one cares, and no one even notices. Your problem this time is that's not us. We're normal people."

That finally got his attention, he lifted his eyes from the screen and looked at her with interest, "We pay our taxes and…" Beth swallowed under his scrutiny, but now that she was going, there was no stopping. "We take our kids to P.F. Chang's, and we take oranges slices to soccer games. And when bad things happen to good people, everyone else goes crazy. It's all over the news. And there are all these hashtags and movements. Because if it could happen to us, it could happen to anyone. So if you wanna invite all that attention over a few grand, then you're not the smart businessman you think you are."

Beth held his stare, more confident after seeing the slight discomfort in his posture and feeling the pressure of the gun to her head easing a bit. "Now, roll the dice. Tell him to pull the trigger. See what happens."

Then he smiled, just a tiny, little, lift on the corner of his mouth but enough to disconcert her. He shook his head to the thug holding the gun, amusement all over his handsome features. And Beth couldn't avoid but take a deep breath as the thug lowered the gun.

The relieve was short lived. He walked to her, fast, feline-like strides, and all the bells in her head started ringing.

Beth winced waiting for the blow, while his hand wrapped around her neck. The cold, hard expression on his face reminded of Dean's right before he'd smacked her to La-la land. But he had another kind of violence in mind. Before she could react, his dark head dived, and he covered her mouth in a savage, punishing kiss.

Kisses, so many kisses… Her mother's tickling smooches. Her aunt Georgina's dried-pursed ones at every other family gathering. Her first french-kiss with Tom McBride, behind the school gym where he nervously reached for first base. The experimental, and instigated by peach schnapps ones, with her college roommate Diana. Kisses from men she barely remembered. And finally Dean's. At first, they were sex-drenched and passionate, then loving and full of intimacy. Now, they were lousy, violent and tasted like a mixture of despair and resignation.

The last kiss she'd received had come from her daughter, Emma, who'd thrown her arms around her, just this morning, and left a wet mark on her cheek. _I love you, momma._

All those kisses and she could not remember a sole one that had felt like this. Cold. Deliberated. Devised to break.

Except… Beth was already broken.

She didn't fight him, nor did she respond.

He didn't care.

He cradled her jaw, not harming, but forcing her mouth open just enough so he could put his tongue inside. It was a clinical exploration as if no real person lived under her skin. That was how she felt most of the time, mere flesh and bone without a soul.

Beth shivered, as his tongue swept over hers, barely a caress. But she hadn't been caressed in such a long time that she was transfixed when the pang of longing surfaced in her lower belly.

It wasn't desire, she was too empty for that. It was a deep craving for simple kindness. An ironic wish when she was being handled by a violent criminal.

He finally drew back, but the hand on her neck still lingered. The lick of the lips followed by the half-smile was as disarming as his drawl. "You like to keep your claws under that housewife facade, until you need to use them, huh? But you've never fooled me, sweetheart. I know what you are." His deep obsidian eyes cut through her. "Be careful when you choose to unsheath you claws, wildcat. Next time I'll bring a clipper."

He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. Coming for another man it might have been a gesture of tenderness, but that was the mark of a ruler, the seal of a king.

She might have won the battle but somehow he'd snatched away the victory. He shan't need any clippers, she had already been conquered.

* * *

She hadn't tasted anythin' like he remembered, at least not as he expected. Not that he expected anythin', since he hadn't planned to kiss her. Still, he'd braced himself for the fire that had consumed him six years ago. Instead, he'd found somethin' else, nothing. She was empty. Like she'd been used and thrown away too many times, like she had been fractured and was stayin' together only by stubborn grittiness. At least that was familiar, it had been that grit that had drawn him to her in the first place, it was what made it impossible to forget her.

Oh, she was still beautiful. Those blue eyes could drown a man, her curves could be in a Playboy magazine and that strawberry blonde hair should be fanned out over a man's chest... He shook his head in disbelief.

That ugly kiss should have put an end to it. Instead, it had stirred things up all over again.

As climbed into his Cadillac he couldn't but wonder what the hell happened to her during this past six years to bring her so close to breaking point.

Close, but not quite there yet. Even a wounded animal had to retreat to lick his wounds.

* * *

"This was my favorite sangria bowl," Beth whispered as she picked up the mess left by the _guests_.

"Bitch! After all that happened, you're talking about your sangria bowl? Seriously?" Ruby asked perplexed serving them some shots, which they drowned quickly.

"She has a point, it could have been your face. And to think you said he was nice. Nice? That man doesn't have a bone of nice in his body!" Annie stated.

"Except he didn't punch her, he kissed her." Ruby pointed out.

"That's true." Annie agreed, then with her best naughtiest smile, she couldn't let the opportunity to tease Beth pass, "What did he call you again? Wildcat? Yeah, sis! He wants that puss…"

Beth just scoffed, not even bothered, that oxycontin was a blessing. "Yeah right. At this stage I'm more worried about what he meant by the next time, he mentioned."

"Ah, Beth, please! I know it might have been a while since you had sex, and you are all about that uptight, irreproachable lifestyle and all... or at least were. But that air of innocent virgin? It does not suit you. That man is lusting after you. Admit it."

Beth shot daggers at her, "What if he is, Annie? What? Should I go and sleep with him? Is that gonna help us when he asks us for the rest of the money? Is that what you're suggesting? Is that what you want me to do? You think I'm some kind of a whore? Is that it?"

Ruby just kept cleaning, she knew when not to intervene, sometimes you had to let the waters flow between those two, and this was one of those times.

"That's not what I meant…"

"What is it that you meant then, Annie?"

"Hey, it looks like we got a survivor!" Ruby exclaimed, finding one of the heirloom dolls intact.

That's when they heard the thud. Boomer had escaped the treehouse.

* * *

After seeing more of their former hostage than she'd wanted to, Beth had a hard time falling asleep. So she sat down, with her bourbon and the tv manuals, trying to figure out how to work that streaming box business, while the gangbanger words and his kiss kept searing in her mind. You've never fooled me, sweetheart. I know what you are. What the hell did he mean?

She'd never found an answer for that, but she found how to work that damned streaming box.

So in the morning, she took her kids' movie request, and proudly set it up and running.

"Where's your brother?" Beth asked noticing Kenny missing as the Minions started on the tv.

"Outside," Emma replied already fixed on the tv.

Beth made her way to the backyard, smiling as she heard Kenny reading his math problem.

"...And gave the last ten to Kim. How many jujubes did Jen take from Sam?"

Her heart almost stopped as the deep voice traveled through her spine. "Thirty-six. Yeah, you know how many she'd taken if Sam had a gun, though?"

"How?"

"Zero."

"Whoa."

Beth made the last steps with her heart in her hands, "Kenny, go inside."

"I don't wanna."

"Now."

"But your friend's helping me." Kenny insisted.

"Spot with the homework and go inside and watch tv. Now." She shouted.

"Listen to momma, Kenny." Rio intervened jumping from the table where he was sitting, graceful and as majestic as a feline. "You know you should really get him a tutor, right?"

Beth couldn't avoid but step back as he walked closer to her, "If you want the rest of the money? We'll get it."

"Nah, let's forget all that."

Should she forget his kiss too? She'd almost asked, "Then why are you here?" She said instead.

He came closer, and Beth had no more room to back to, her ankles were touching the wooden steps.

"I keep thinking about what you said. About being a basic bitch and whatnot." His dark eyes were glued to her cleavage, and something like cold sweat pooled at her nape. This man could do whatever he wanted with her, right here, right now. And she had the feeling she wouldn't be able to endure it like she did with Dean.

"That's not exactly what I said." She mumbled after swallowing the lump in her throat. The way his eyes were roaming her curves was making her very uncomfortable, but not for the right reasons.

"Maybe there's something you could help me out with."

"What's that?" She asked, waiting for the worst, whatever that might be.

He finally looked at her face, that cocky half-smile on his lips, "You ladies got passports?"


	3. There's Always a Choice

Thank you so much for the comments, your support and opinion is priceless. Hope you enjoy this chapter too. Love, Niham.

* * *

After delivering the wrapping paper, she'd thought she was facing him for the last time.

When she demanded to hear him say it, she'd thought that was the last time she would hear his voice.

So she'd lingered a little bit more than she should have, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Her brain even made the absurd of reminding her that, that man was Emma's father. _You should tell him._ Her conscience had barged in. _He's a criminal!_ She'd shouted back at it. And not some meaningless thug by the looks of the operation he was running there. This man was dangerous. _So is your husband._ Her conscience had pinched in once more. She could deal with Dean, she knew what to expect from him. But with this man? She had no clue and no chance.

So she looked into his dark orbs, nodded, cleared her throat and walked away while he clenched his jaw. Something had prevented her from saying goodbye, and neither did he. Beth couldn't see the way he'd ogle over her voluptuous figure walking away or the small smile that was plastered on his mouth. But, she did feel the burn of his stare in her soul, she didn't dare to look back.

The 'going back to normal life' celebration with the girls later, felt more like a bucket of ice-cold water dropping over her head. That morning had been a hard reminder that she was trapped. Even with the mortgage money under his nose, Dean had done the favor of reminding her that she couldn't even open an account in her own name, that she was as dependable of him as alway, chained, vulnerable. The thought of 'normal life' clung at her with dread. Robbing that grocery store had made her feel powerful. Despite the fear, crossing that border with god knows what in that car, had thrilled and given her some sense of purpose.

That same night she'd observed him putting Emma to bed, she even smiled at how carefully he took her shoes off, how gently he'd kissed her goodnight. _I love you all the way to the moon and back._

How could a man capable of such tender gestures, capable of loving a little girl that wasn't his, transform into a monster in a blink of an eye.

Later in the kitchen, he'd tried to pressure her into coming back home,

"Look, I miss you and the kids and I've been very, very patient, Beth. This is my house too. Just because you paid a couple of mortgages, doesn't make you the sole owner." He had said. "To prove you my good intentions, I'll give you until Kenny's birthday then I'm back home, but quite frankly Beth, you don't have a choice."

His 'good intentions' came full of warnings. Beth knew this pattern, the longer he was in his best behavior the greater was the fall later. Then all of a sudden, she said it, the words she should have said to herself a long time ago. "There's always a choice."

In that instant, she realized that, somewhere along the wild ride, having a gun aimed at her had become more desirable than having to dodge her husband's fists. She made her choice right there, she was going to divorce him.

But for that, she needed money and quite a bit of it. And, there was only one way she knew how to get that kind of money. So here she was, two days after leaving her pearls dangling from that warehouse door, facing the man that had been, in a way, the catalyst that started all her problems. It was only poetic that he was the one that could end them.

Beth filled the tumblers on her butcher-block countertop with hefty doses of bourbon. All while he gazed at her from under his half-slitted eyes.

The energy in the air was palpable. And Annie was right about one thing, she was no virgin. _This_ was sexual.

"You know the tradition is Jordan's over a phone line, right?"

 _It should be a crime for a man to have such long lashes._

"I only had pumps."

"Fair enough." He chuckled softly, narrowing his eyes even further, "So, what'd wanna talk to me about?"

Beth felt her throat dry as sandpaper, even tho she'd just sipped from her bourbon. Six years ago she would have used that sexuality in her favor, but the Beth of today had no desire to be sexual. Although, her body did seem to remember how to.

Beth opened her mouth only to shut it straight away as he circled the kitchen island. She had to tuck her chest in, to avoid touch him as he strolled by. He stood right in front of her for long seconds, then propped himself up on the counter and sat, legs spread wide. He grabbed the, until then, untouched glass of bourbon and took a sip.

By any means could she be considered a petite woman, but there, trapped between his legs and under his scrutiny, she never felt smaller.

Beth stared mesmerized, as he swallowed. His neck was thick and corded with muscle and tendons, and his Adam's apple moved under the eagle tattoo, unforgivingly. Beth drank from her own glass, but the bourbon instead of bringing relief, it gripped at her throat like sand. It was impossible not to cough.

She, who drank bourbon like water, had to cough, and in front of this man, no less other.

His smirk was as instantaneous as her blush. _Good_ God _! She was making a fool out of herself._

"You didn't choke on the tequila, that night."

Her head shot up, eyes widening with a mixture of surprise and wonder. There was a very strong indication, in his tone and his conceited demeanor, that she'd choked on something else instead. His dark orbs glistened with mischief as she flushed all over.

"You didn't blush either. Well, not from embarrassment anyways."

 _Oh! My! God! Could someone please provide a shovel so she could dig her own grave?_

He rolled the glass between his hands, and his bottom lip between his teeth and Beth was not blushing from embarrassment any longer.

The strange reaction by her body alarmed her. Suddenly the way he looked at her was nothing but familiar. She went cold. It wasn't a mischievous look, no, it was one of pure malice. One that she'd often found in Dean's eyes. He was taunting her, just like Dean did when her body responded automatically, by instinct… _This is what you want, right? You whore, look how wet you are. You love it rough, like this, huh?_

Maybe Dean was right, maybe it wasn't all instinct like she liked to pretend...

He saw it happen from above, one second she was looking at him, eyes lit with lust and curiosity, cheeks tinted with the slight embarrassment, the next, she was frozen, her beautiful features stricken by dull pain, she sucked in her breath and a vacant haze covered her eyes as she was remembering some kind of haunting nightmare.

Frowning with concern, he jumped from the counter. The sudden movement frightened her and she tensed like a deer caught by headlights. The tumbler in her hand shattered.

Beth yelped as the glass shard bit into her palm and the alcohol burned over the laceration.

"Shit… let me see it," He murmured softly.

He was too close. Beth felt like she was suffocating with his nearness. She shook her head and clutched her hand to her chest, leaning back on the sink as much as she could. The blood started dripping down her arm and soaking her sleeve.

His hand flew to wrap around her wrist and she couldn't avoid the wince. "Woman, let me see that hand." He scowled, but his touch was gentle. The thumb caressing the inside of her wrist, compelling.

It had been a long time since she'd had gentle human contact, like this. She slowly let go.

He leaned over her to run the cold water tap and she forgot how to breathe, her blood froze with fear, but he was only paying attention to her hand, gently turning her around. The glass on the floor creaked and broke under his weight while he pressed his body against her back, and washed the blood away under the water. His large thick fingers were strong, but he examined her hand with care. "Do you have a first aid kit?" The whispered words, said close to her ear, traveled like poured honey down her spine, frightening her almost as much as they pleasured her.

"Top shelf, on the right." She managed to say.

But he didn't move, that stunning half-smile must have been designed to melt lesser beings. "You know, I won't bite you… unless you want me too."

Right now she didn't know what she wanted. _What the hell was wrong with her?_

She grabbed a clean kitchen towel and placed it over the butcher block as he got out the kit. He dug in it until he found what he was looking for. Tweezers.

"I don't think you gonna need stitches, but I need to pull out that shard." He stated pulling it out at the same time.

Beth hissed, "You asshole! Why would you even say that if you gonna do it straight away?"

He chuckled, "It's less painful if you ain't expecting it."

A shadow covered her face, she had a different perspective about that. "And you lied, I'm gonna need stitches." She said looking at the deep tear.

He smiled slyly pressing a compress over the bleeding wound, "I didn't lie, I said I didn't think you needed them. But you do." Beth snorted and his smile widened. This spirited banter was more like he remembered her.

"Get on with it then." She hurried him as he cleaned the wound.

"You gonna trust your lovely little hand to my care?" He goaded her but was already spreading the numbing cream around the gash. "I might leave a scar."

Scars were nothing new. "As long as you don't stab my eye with that needle, I'm good."

"I wouldn't want to harm those pretty eyes of yours for nothin' in this world, sweetheart." He remarked sticking the needle through the swollen skin, she barely felt a sting, but the same, she shifted her weight on her feet, uncomfortable. "Stay still… " He warned, "And while at it... why don't you tell me why you summoned the devil from its hole, huh?"

Beth couldn't avoid but smile. Oh, but he was a very handsome devil... a gentle devil, she noted as he tied the first knot with extreme care, making sure he didn't pull at the ragged skin.

No one cared for her like this before, not perhaps since her childhood. Beth was the carer, the giver, never the other way around. And he wasn't asking for anything in return, it was a simple gesture, the kindness of a stranger. And she drank up from his kindness like a flower thirsty for water.

 _What the hell was wrong with her? Kind? He had a gun pointed to her head and threatened to kill her not that long ago._

Beth cleared her throat wishing it was as easy to clear her head. "I-I err, was thinking that maybe, under the right circumstances, and the right remuneration, we... me and the girls, could do another job for you… bring in another shipment of your fake cash."

"Is that so?" He drawled, his tone full of amusement.

 _Was everything a joke to him?_ "It's just a thought." She muttered in response.

He tied another knot before finally looking at her, there was nothing funny about his expression right now. "Why?"

Beth almost stumbled against the cold hardness in his eyes, "What you mean, why? Because I need the money."

He made a show of looking around, at her big house and her expensive kitchen. "All ain't well in paradise?"

The skeptical arch of that unruly eyebrow got her hackles up. All she wanted to do was present him _the finger_ and tell him to go back to the hell-hole he came from. But that was a luxury she couldn't afford, not if she wanted to leave Dean in one piece and with her children's custody. "Appearances can be deceiving."

Something wild flashed in his eyes as he gave her his crooked smile, "That's the first thing you said to me, six years ago."

"Was it?" She said meekly, looking away from his intense gaze. But she still felt his eyes on her, watching her, drinking her in, reading her.

"You don't remember anythin' from that night, do you?" He stated simply, but the knowledge was like a bullet to his ego. Whereas she didn't remember, he hadn't been able to forget a single detail about that night, or about her.

"Only bits and pieces." She confessed with a barely audible voice, still not meeting his eyes, "I don't deal well with tequila."

He chuckled lowly and went back to the job of stitching her up. There was no more talking and they fell into a comfortable silence. Beth took the time to try and understand her reactions to this man. This _thing_ that passed between them. It was more than sexual, it was _intimacy_. The comfortable silence. The banter. How was it all possible when they were two strangers, who'd spend no more than a few eerie hours before dawn together, and possibly 20 minutes altogether after almost 7 years. It was uncanny, illogical.

He dipped his head lower, in deep concentration, as he tied the last knot, the nape of his neck became exposed. Her heart stopped, then abruptly leaped to her throat. Right under his shirt collar... Emma had the same exact birthmark.

All of a sudden, all of this seemed an idiotic idea. A dangerous stupidity. _What was she doing?_ What if next time she went outside it was Emma sitting at the table reading math problems and her ponytail left the birthmark exposed? What if he saw it? Would he recognize it? _What was she doing?_ The only thing she knew about him was he was a criminal, that he carried a big fat gun and had no concern with pulling it out. Was it worth to expose her children to this so she could run away from their loving father?

So absorbed in her thoughts she didn't even notice he had finished and was studying her from under his slant dark eyes. "Done. And no gouged eyes." He said.

That got Beth out of her slumber. "Thank you," She looked at the perfect little stitches in awe, "I've done this before, haven't you?"

He just smiled discarding the used things in the bin, and washed his hands in the sink. "In my line of business, you don't go about without learnin' a few patch-up tricks."

Of course you wouldn't. He was a gangster. He was probably full of bullet shrapnel and mean, black ink, skull tattoos all over his body.

He leaned on the counter even closer to her this time, she felt the urge to step back but couldn't as he started to bandage her hand. He had beautiful sun-kissed skin. He smelled good too. Clean but somehow in a manly musky way. And his lips couldn't be described as anything less than kissable. A warm feeling spread in her lower belly. She couldn't remember the last time she'd wanted to kiss someone.

Like he somehow could read her mind, he pressed his lips against her injured palm. Soft. Caring. Intimate. "So it heals faster." He drawled with a cheeky side smile. And Beth had to smile herself. Then and to her further surprise, he pressed his lips to hers.

It shouldn't be like that. It was a simple kiss. Just two pairs of lips brushing each other. Yet she felt it till her tippy toes. It caused a flutter in a place she long ago thought dead.

He must have felt the power of it too, 'cause when he pulled back he gazed deeply into her eyes as if trying to decipher her. And she felt like she was going to melt away under the heat of those chocolate brown orbs.

"Why?" She whispered a bit horrified when the question came out. It was an inner thought, not meant for him.

"I didn't like how I kissed you the last time."

"I'm married. You can't just kiss me."

Arctic ice hardened his eyes immediately, his unruly eyebrows arched full of doubt, "Why, sweetheart! It didn't stop you before."

The smug half-smile in his conceited face, made her want to scream. _Prick._

Instead, she turned her back to him, fighting with her own overbearing emotions. _What on earth possessed her? Why had she kissed him? Why had she wanted to? And why did she liked it?_

Yet when he walked away chuckling, she found herself asking, "Are you going to give us another job?"

He stopped hand on the door handle, he then looked over his shoulder with just the tiniest smile, "I'll think of somethin'."

* * *

"Oh my God!" Annie muttered walking in the girls' room.

"Who is that?" Ruby whispered as she saw the man bleeding in the bed.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean, I came back from the grocery store and he was just there. And, I mean, I'm assuming he's, like, an associate of the gangbanger." Beth whispered back.

"Come on, I thought we were done with that."

"Yeah, what the hell?" Annie whispered wide-eyed.

"Okay, okay, we were. And then… God, this sounds so crazy even saying it…"

"Spit it out." Annie snapped her fingers.

"I… I… I offered to do another job."

"You asked for this?" Ruby almost screeched. Annie barely containing a guffaw in Beth's face.

"It's not like we don't need the money. We all still need the money." Beth stated. Annie just laughed, trying to not do it loud enough to wake up the man.

"So you asked for this?" Ruby was in complete disbelief.

"No, well, not this."

"I just can't believe it's you and not me," Annie said between laughs. "Come on, it's crazy."

"Look, I just… I just said that we would possibly, if the circumstances were right, pick up another load of the fake cash."

"You volunteered us?" Ruby snapped at her.

"It's not drugs! It's paper! I mean it's literally paper." Beth reasoned.

"You can't sign people up for criminal activity like it's a bake sale."

"Noted, but can you just help me get this person out of my house right now?"

"Oh, you want some help now? I'm sorry, why don't you call your BFF, the other gangbanger, the father of your child?" Ruby blurted out.

Beth was a bit stunned by her words, "He's not my BFF, okay? I don't even know that guy's name."

"No, but I bet he does, right?" Annie interrupted, "Maybe I can, uh… get his phone or something."

"Well, I'm not doing it, so..." Ruby informed pissed.

"Just be careful," Beth whispered as Annie made her way to the bleeding man.

The first thing she dug out of his back pocket was a fat gun. "Oh, God, okay. Well, this is not a phone. Just take it!" She passed it to Beth.

Beth didn't have a choice but to take it, at least she did with the sleeve of her shirt, she looked at it with a mixture of horror and curiosity. "Oh, my…"

"Okay. I have it, I have it." Annie whispered with the phone in hand and running back to the door in her tippy toes.

"What's the last number he called?" Ruby whispered behind her.

"Papa John's."

"The last person, Annie." Beth snapped.

"Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…"

"Oh, my God, why didn't he just go to his mom's?" Ruby asked.

"... Mom, mom, mom…"

"I know, seriously."

"...Mom, mom and… Rio."

"Rio…" Beth murmured. It felt like the floodgates had been opened. Her brain flooded with images, sounds, and scents. It all came rushing back to her.

Rio approaching her in the bar, Lucky's, shot of tequila in hand. Asking her what was a good girl like her doing in a place like that.

 _'Appearances can be deceiving. Maybe I'm not such a good girl as I look like.'_

She remembered how they had flirted, how she had provoked him shamelessly. How the tequila had flowed almost as much as her laughter did. How attractive and captivating he was. How the danger and the violence, barely contained under his skin, had fascinated her.

 _'I'm Rio, by the way.' He'd said, clinking his glass shot with hers._

 _'Rio? Like in Rio de Janeiro?' She'd teased him._

 _'Yeah, '_ twas _where I was conceived.' He'd shrugged with a charming half-smile making her laugh. 'My mother was very sentimental. What 'bout you? I bet you got a lily-ass name, somethin' like Jennifer? Or Mary Margaret? Even better... Elizabeth? Huh?'_

 _Beth had giggled nervously, blushing at the fact that he'd actually got her name right, something wicked or maybe it was tequila, made her automatically lie, 'No. Actually, you're very wrong. My name is Isabella.' Technically it was the Spanish version for Elizabeth, so she wasn't lying-lying, right?_

 _'Isabella? Like the Queen of Spain?' He'd teased her, doubt pouring from under his hooded dark orbs. But the way he'd sang the name, with the perfect Spanish pronunciation, made something tingle in her._

 _Beth had laughed delighted, 'Yes, just like the Queen. But everyone calls me Bella.'_

 _'Nah… I'll stick to Isabella.' His dark gaze had roamed all over her body, unashamedly. 'It suits you.'_

Then she recalled her moan, as he plunged his cock into her, hard enough for her head to bound against the bed headboard... _Oh, Rio!_

How he took her from behind… _Fuck me, Rio!_

How she rode him, wild and shameless... _Oh, yes, Rio!_

How she screamed his name under the tendrils of release… _Rio, Rio, Rio, Rio!_

It was hard to breathe. It felt like she'd just performed a belly flop onto concrete. Every fragmented piece from that night was now whole… how could have she forgotten? Clearly, she didn't. It was like she had suppressed it for some reason... Guilt? For betraying her husband, for feeling such intense… whatever that was. God, was that what a one-night-stand was supposed to be? It was nothing like she'd thought, nothing… She wished she was still in the dark. She didn't want this, these memories, even less the feeling that came attached to them.

"Beth?" Ruby shook her. "You okay?"

Beth swallowed the hard lump in her throat, "Yeah… let's just call him already." The sooner this ended the better.

* * *

Beth took a look at the man sitting on the backyard steps. Rio, the father of her daughter, the fruit of a - not so meaningless - wild night, after all. She felt her cheeks burn, but the cold night helped clear her mind and focus on why he was there.

"That's not what I meant when I said we'd do another job. Who is that guy?"

"He works for me," Rio said.

"Do-does he wash the money?" Annie asked.

Rio was already starting to lose his patience, still in doubt if these broads were just crazy or plain stupid. Or Maybe both. Cold sweat pooled at the back of his neck, and even the Michigan cold winter air wasn't helping cool his feverish skin. But he didn't reach where he was for being impatient, and it helped that the strawberry blonde in front of him was, indeed, pleasing to look at.

"Regardless, there's been a miscommunication." She explained.

"Oh, so you think you can pick and choose what you wanna do and when you wanna do it?" Rio said, clearly amused.

"She thought it would be like driving for Uber." Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Who's at fault is not important. We are not qualified to take care of a gunshot victim. I mean, your friend needs professional medical attention." Rio just shook his head, "You're shaking your head. Why are you shaking your head?"

"'Cause that kid ain't going to no hospital. There's people looking for him."

"What if those people show up here?" Beth freaked out.

"Trust me, ain't nobody gonna shoot up Beaver Cleaver's house." He took a stack of 20s and slammed it on the deck steps, next to where he was sitting.

"No, I'm sorry, that is not gonna work." Beth refused firmly.

"No?" He asked, slapping another stack on the wood.

"I…" Beth stammered in doubt, but eyed the money with greed. "I have children!" He placed a third stack of money next to the others. Beth's eyes widened, "He's up there in my daughter's bed. I'm never gonna get that blood out!"

Rio almost smiled, the lil' minx was trying to squeeze more money out of him.

"I mean, she could sleep on the floor. Kids love that stuff." Annie intervened.

"I'm pretty sure it'll cover a new mattress," Ruby muttered.

Rio smiled as Beth eyed the money again, chewing on her lower lip.

"So, would we get that money now, or…?" Annie asked casually.

"When I pick him up."

"When's that?" Ruby asked.

These bitches were really trying his patience, he snapped, "When I pick him up."

"Sounds fair." Annie reasoned.

"So, we got a deal, ladies? Or what?" He asked broadly, but his eyes were on Beth, more precisely on the lush bottom lip stuck between her white pointy teeth, he saw how 1001 reasons flew through her mind.

Beth was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either if she took it or if she didn't. It was 6k, for a couple of days with a guest. It couldn't be more than a couple days, right?

"Fine," She finally muttered.

"Cool," He drawled.

They stared at each other for a while, that pull was in the air again. Annie and Ruby made themselves scarce after a small eye contact exchange. Which made Beth snap out of it.

"I should go," She said after clearing her throat.

"'Aight." He packed the cash and got up, only to stumble and sway. Beth was on him in no time, her hand somehow finding a way through his open jacket and hooking around his slim waist.

"Are you okay?" That's when she noticed how pale he was, saw the beads of sweat on his forehead and felt her hand soak in something warm. Blood. "Oh, God! You were shot too?"

"Its nothin', sweetheart. I've been patched up."

"It doesn't look like nothing. You're bleeding." She pressed her hand against his forehead, "And you have a fever!"

"I just need to sleep, I'll be fine." He insisted.

"You're in no condition to drive, can you call someone?"

"Even the harmless of the sharks becomes aroused by the scent of blood, darlin'. I'm already feelin' so much better, just by being in your arms. Imagine what a kiss would do." He teased her with a half-smile.

"You will be lucky if I don't finish the job, and kill you myself…" She muttered, frowning with concern. Beth had never heard of such thing as a harmless shark, but she got the message. A crime-boss was not allowed to show weakness, not even to his associates apparently. The words were out of her mouth before she could think about it, "Why don't you rest inside... just for a few hours." She added quickly.

"Is that an invitation to your bed, sweetheart?"

Beth scoffed, "Your fever must be really high, mister."

He chuckled, "What can I say, baby. You lit me all up."

Beth felt her cheeks burn, but didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer, she was starting to think he enjoyed a little bit too much to ruffle her up.

They walked inside, him leaned on her, although she was sure he didn't need the support. It somehow felt right, like he belonged there... _God, what was wrong with her?_

Annie's catnapper abilities were already in effect, she was snuggled on the two-seater sofa, a throw over her small frame. And Ruby long gone.

"Let me have a look at those bandages," Beth said, already helping him with the jacket.

He couldn't resist but tease her, "If I knew you'd be that eager to take my clothes off, I would have gotten myself shot sooner."

Beth scowled at him as he presented her with his famous smug half-smile. The golden gun made a thud as he placed it in the kitchen counter, the hoodie was next, and then his t-shirt. Beth was surprised to see he was almost completely free of tattoos, almost exactly the same as recalled from six years ago. Only the back of his arms seemed to have some thick stripes inked. She wondered what they meant.

There were scars tho, plenty of them. A bullet one just under his clavicle. Faded ones over his ripped abs. A large, white ragged mark, marring his honeyed skin, just under his ribcage. Her fingertips seemed to acquire a mind of their own and she reached out to touch him. This weren't the wounds of childhood, he had been harmed. His breath caught, and she saw how his abs contracted as she ran her fingers over the rough, puckered, skin of his side.

"Does it still hurt?" Her voice came out as ragged as his skin.

He shook his head and she knew he lied. She had scars too. Some were healed, some wouldn't be fading anytime soon, others would never leave her… but they all still hurt.

All of a sudden it was all too much, she stepped back, and shoved her face on the kitchen cabinets, she chose the wrong one, there were only pans in there, but at least it gave her some time to clear her head. She was trembling, her heart throbbed. This man was no good for her, he made her feel too much, all she wanted was to be numb, not this.

Taking a few deep breaths, she got one of the pans out and filled it with water. She would change his bandage and clean his sweaty forehead like a mother would do for her children. He would rest and then leave, and that was it.

"I thought you weren't qualified for this kind of stuff," He muttered as she loosened his bandage.

"One doesn't get to be a mother of four without learning some tricks either. It's the least I can do after you stitched my hand."

"Right. So... you popped another kid, huh?"

Beth almost froze. Perhaps, mentioning her kids wasn't the greatest idea. She didn't want him near any of her kids, especially not Emma. As calmly as she could, she proceeded with her task, "If you can call 14 hours of labor, _popping_ , I guess I did."

He chuckled, "I'm sorry if I'm not into the correct terminology, sweetheart. I'm ain't not much of family man."

No, he was a criminal, with a killer smile and a gentle touch. Only God knew what else.

Beth placed a new dressing over the bullet wound, the stitches had held up, thankfully. She wasn't sure if she had the stomach to puncture live meat, even one such as his, all lean muscle, tight and hard. His body was magnificent. She liked touching it. She found herself mesmerized by the feel of his skin beneath her hand.

Images of that night slammed her mind. Him naked on bed, throbbing erection jutting out, begging to be stroked, to be satisfied. She was with him on that bed, above him, running her hands over his pecs…

She snapped out of her daydream, when she realized she was trembling, down there, throbbing for some sort of satisfaction. And he was staring at her intently, like he knew the naughty thoughts that had raced through her mind.

She should have looked away but she didn't. She couldn't and it was a mistake because he cupped her face and kissed her.

She didn't want to react. But the way he cradled her in his hands, so tender, his lips so soft, so purely sweet... it left her breathless. The tip of his tongue came into her mouth and she found herself responding, melting, letting go.

His kiss made her forget it all. Wrong seemed right. Pain was pleasure all over again.

When he wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her closer she didn't cower in fear. When his hand wandered underneath her knit sweater and up her breast, she didn't felt nauseated. When he rubbed her nipple over the lace of her bra, it puckered. And it felt so unexpectedly good that she pushed her breast into his hand, urging him to give her more of what she apparently craved.

But it was wrong. And years of abuse couldn't be wiped away by one kiss, one gentle touch. She shot her eyes open and started shivering, not from pleasure. "Please…" She whispered, frozen as he kissed his way down her neck. Fear gripped at her like a second skin, while his hands went to the back of her bra and pulling her even closer he buried his head between the exposed cleavage of her breasts. _Oh, God! He was not going to stop._ "Please… please, stop."

So caught in the haze of lust and fever, and ignited by her flame, it took him a couple seconds to process, that her 'please' was not asking for more. When he heard the stop, his hands dropped immediately and she stepped away from him, chest heaving and eyes widen with… fear!?

He frowned, confused. "Elizabeth…"

Gosh, the way he said her name… made her legs wobble. _What the fuck was wrong with her?_ Gladly, her phone rang. She fumbled to take it out from her jeans' pocket, not taking her eyes off him.

"Hello… It's way past midnight, they all should be more than asleep, Dean…" Beth sighed, "Okay! I'll be there in 15." She turned to Rio, "It's my daughter, I have to go."

Rio slid his shirt over his head, "I should get goin' too."

"No," She quickly replied, "Please stay… until I get back. I don't want to leave Annie alone with your boy upstairs. I shouldn't take more than half an hour.. Could you please stay? You could use the rest anyway."

Rio looked over to the sleeping, snoring figure, he had completely forgotten about the woman. "She snores." He remarked, "I'ma have to deduct a compensation from your payment."

He was happy when she smiled, although it was a small smile at least it shook the, whatever it was, that got into her. He watched her walk away and close the door before he dropped on the large couch, too tired to figure what the hell had just happened.

When Beth got back, 45 minutes later, with Emma asleep in her arms, finding Rio completely out on the couch, and Annie still sleeping, was a relief.

Emma had forgotten Carl, her bunny plush, she couldn't sleep without him. Dean had tried everything until he resorted to calling her. It was too late, at that stage, even for Carl. Emma too tired and cranky, had thrown a massive tantrum when she saw mommy, refusing to let go of Beth. Dean, cranky himself, just closed the door in her face leaving her no choice but to bring Emma home.

Exhausted by all the activities and the strong emotions of the day, there was nothing more than Beth wanted but drop in bed next to her baby girl. She couldn't afford the luxury, not with two armed, dangerous men in her house. She kissed Emma's forehead and went back to the living room.

Rio's dark figure stood out like a sore thumb in her lively living room. She carefully pressed a hand against his forehead. He was still hot, but he wasn't sweating anymore, the fever must be breaking through. Still, she went and got a wet cloth, placing it over his head. He stirred but didn't wake up. God, he'd just placed his arm under his head, just like Emma did in her sleep. Emma's ears and even the eyebrow shape, it was all those two in the same room and a blind person could make the connection.

Yawning, she leaned back on the armchair, drinking from the sight of him. He was a very handsome man. Had an easy smile, and a sense of humor. He had been patient with Kenny. Yet she had seen plenty of his tough, scary side. He wasn't scary big, but none the less, dangerous, in a deadly feline-like way. His hands were large, that fist could certainly do great damage, but instead of hurting her he had given her kindness, those hands had given her pleasure.

She had no idea how or what to feel… he was a contradiction. That's what he was.

Beth sighed and told herself that she should probably go and get a cup of coffee. It was the last coherent thing she thought before falling asleep.

Rio woke up to the sound of stomping little feet, his hand automatically went to the gun at his back, more by instinct than thought. Raising one eyelid open he saw a set of unruly eyebrows and the bluest of the eyes looking at him, full of curiosity, over the coffee table.

"Hello," The tiny voice came from a toothless cheeky smile.


	4. (Co)dependency

The cheeky grin was quickly hidden behind the coffee table, only her eyes peeking above. Rio sat up, fully knowing he was glowering at the little girl. It should have sent her running back from her she had come from, but she wasn't having a problem holding his stare, nothing but wonder in her blue eyes. Rio stole a glance over Beth, sleeping, hands tucked under her chin, in what was possibly the most uncomfortable position ever. Her refined, dainty nose seemed to be defying him even in her sleep.

This little girl was really her mama's daughter, huh? The corner of his mouth curved, and he whispered his own "Hello" back at her.

The little head popped up and the toothless grin came into view again, "You didn't like my bed?"

Beth stirred and Rio pressed a finger to his lips, asking for silence. To his surprise, the kid jumped out from behind the table and grabbed his hand, "Come."

She pulled him into the kitchen and he didn't have the heart to stop her, something had enclosed him, like a soft blanket, when her little innocent hand touched his bloodstained one. With a knot in his throat, he saw how she struggled to climb the tall kitchen stool. Without a second thought, he hooked his hands under her arms and lifted her up.

"I'm hungry," She informed once seated.

He smiled amused, "Oh, are you? What do you have for breakfast, usually?"

"Mommy makes crepes… with Ice cream."

He raised his eyebrows, "Ice cream for breakfast? Ain't you lucky!" Knowing she had been caught in a lie, she turned pink, just like her momma did, and Rio had to chuckle. "Well, with me, your only option his cereal, babygirl. You take it?"

She nodded and pointed for the top left kitchen cabinet, Rio opened it to find a pretty good selection of 'healthy' cereal, he raised an inquisitive eyebrow in her direction.

"Wheat O's." She said.

"My favourite too." She gave him the toothy grin and pointed to another cabinet, he took two bowls out and poured cereal into them. Hand over the handle of a drawer he looked at her, "This one?" She nodded and he took two spoons out, then the milk from the fridge. The door was covered with drawings and pictures of smiling, loving faces. Of something he could never have. A sore reminder that he didn't belong here, having breakfast with another man's child.

Clenching his jaws he poured the milk over the cereal and pushed a bowl in her direction, then sat next to her and pulled his own bowl close, "Eat up, kid."

"Emma. My name is Emma." She said before stuffing her mouth with cereal.

Rio's own spoon stopped mid-air as he looked at her profile, something very familiar struck him, although he couldn't put a finger on what. Shaking his head he chewed his cereal. At the exact same moment, both leaned on their left elbow, fingers rubbing earlobes, while they ate the cereal in silence.

Once finished, Rio dropped the bowls in the sink, the kid frowned like he done somethin' wrong. "What is it?"

"Mama says we have to wash it straight away." She informed.

"Is that right?" She nodded, closing her blue eyes solemnly, and Rio had to smile, amused for being told by a child. "Well, we better not get in trouble with mama, huh?"

Rio washed the bowls and spoons with Emma glued to his leg, stealing glances at him like she wanted to ask something, "What have I done wrong now, babygirl?" He asked softly, closed the water tap, cleaning his hands in a kitchen towel, he crouched in front of her.

Two chubby fingers eased over the crest of his furrowed brow and then pulled at the corners of his lips, forcing a smile. And he could avoid a chuckle as her toothless grin showed up. "Better! You like birds?" She asked, her finger pointing to his neck tattoo.

"It's not just any bird, it's an Eagle."

"I like bunnies." She said tracing the inked lines with care.

He could have said that Eagles ate little bunnies as appetizers, but he didn't. There was somethin' about this kid that made him want to keep her innocence intact forever. He just smiled, his fingers took a mind of their own and he tucked a long strand of shiny, soft golden-brown hair behind her ear. She was too cute with those huge blue eyes and that see-through skin that she'd inherited from her mother.

Anger pulled at his insides, but he was a master at concealing his true feelings, and this sweet creature was not to blame for her mother's deceitfulness. "I have to go, babygirl. Why don't you go and wake-up momma, a'ight?"

She nodded and running she went. Two steps in she just ran back and laced her arms around his neck, he almost landed on his ass, stunned by the unexpected assault, both to his body and his heart. Then just as quickly she disappeared into the living room. The back door closed softly behind him as the first sleepy notes of Beth's voice reached the kitchen.

A mixture of anger and longing lingered at the back of his throat, like a foul, bitter concoction. Six years ago he never got the chance to hear those wishful tones... she was long gone by the time he got back to the motel room, after drivin' for 30 minutes looking for the danishes she'd had mentioned to _adore_ so much the night before. The note he'd left, crumpled and rejected on the floor.

He never felt more like a fool. Not perhaps until the day he found out, that three suburban bitches had stolen from him, and one of them was his _Isabella_. Everything 'bout that night had been a lie, even her name.

Beth didn't know what had startled her more. Emma being awake, the back door closing, or the empty sofa. All the fogginess from sleep drained instantly as she shot up from the armchair, her back protesting from hours of sleeping in the odd position. She reached the kitchen window just in time to see him leaving through the backyard gate. Emma tugged at her shirt, "The man... he likes Eagles."

"What, sweetie?" She asked almost out of voice, picking her up.

"The man in my bed, he likes Eagles. We had cereal. I told him he had to wash the dishes like you say, mommy." She pointed to clean dishes drying over the sink.

Beth's heart jumped to her mouth, she must think that Rio, was the man bleeding in her bed. Talking of man in bed, she should go and check if he was still breathing, how could she had fallen asleep… _Oh God! Rio talked to Emma!_ "Okay, honey! We should wake aunty Annie! She will take you to school today. Isn't that fun?" Emma jumped with happiness in her lap, "Oh! You're not supposed to tell Daddy about the man in bed, okay? It's a… a secret! You're such a grown up girl! You can keep a secret, right?"

* * *

"Two car seats plus a booster? What's that gonna set me back, like 600 bucks." Beth whined after _the man in bed,_ had pointed a gun at her and stolen her car.

"Well, maybe he'll realize it and bring 'em back." Annie filled three tumblers with whiskey.

"That's not how carjackings work," Ruby muttered.

"I don't want him back. He just had a gun in my face." Beth sighed with dread, "Guys, what is even happening? What are we doing?"

"What do you mean, We?"

"I mean, I am so tired of almost dying."

"Oh, are you?" Ruby added sarcastically.

Beth shot a look at Ruby, while Annie, sensing that shit was about to hit the fan and that she stood right in the path, tried to smother the mood, "Okay! Let's just try to get through this, okay?

"No…" Beth raised a hand for Annie to shut up, "Is there something you want to tell me, Ruby? Now is your chance, 'cause I'm tired of you giving me the stink-eye."

"Oh, now you want my opinion? You have your marriage on the rocks, fucked a guy... no, not just _A guy_ … _A gangster_ , got yourself knocked-up and you didn't even bother to tell your _best friend_ for six fucking years? Then you sign me up for this shit... And now you want my opinion? Imagine that, huh?"

 _Fuck her life…_ "I'm sorry, Ruby! I don't know what else to say! Okay?"

Ruby rolled her eyes, "Sorry is not cutting it, Beth. And don't come at me with that _'Dean didn't want us to know'_ crap… since when you do anything of what Dean wants?"

"Since I'm trying to save my marriage." Beth riposted, she didn't appreciate being backed against another wall right now.

Ruby scoffed, "Yeah, right! Look, I don't know what the hell is going on but..."

"Hmm, Beth…" Annie interrupted all of a sudden, "Carl?!"

"Oh, no!"

"Huh? Carl who?" Ruby asked confused.

"Emma's favourite bunny." They answered at the same time.

"He was on the dash...ugh."

"Now he's on a drive-by," Annie muttered over her whiskey.

"I'm talking about the real deal here and you bitches are worried about a bunny plush, seriously?"

"Mom?"

The three women polished they drinks as the front door opened and Kenny ran in.

"Hey, sweetie, what are you doing here?" Beth asked hiding her empty glass under the coffee table.

"Just don't be mad at Dad."

"Why? What did he do now?"

"He told me all about the party with the bounce house and the water slide, and I invited, like, all my friends. Five can't come, but… but 32 can." Beth just looked at him horrified as he blurted out the words excitedly.

"Hey! Don't be mad!" Silence ruled for a few seconds while Beth shot daggers at Dean. Annie lured Kenny away with the promise of playing video games, while Ruby made herself scarce, but not before muttering a _'You're a dead man'_ in Dean's direction.

Dean rolled his eyes at her. _Ruby could go fuck herself, always putting her fucking nose between his and Beth's business…_

"Go upstairs right now and tell him we can't afford it."

Dean leaned on the sofa, above Beth, "You didn't see his little face."

"I see his little face every day. Every day for the rest of my life I have to say no to those kids because of what you did..."

His hands were pressing on her shoulders before she even finished the words, a whimper left her throat as he squeezed the base of her neck painfully. "No, Bethie… because of what YOU did. Let's not forget… YOU started this, all of this." He sucked his teeth and Beth almost jumped at the sound, expecting a slap or a fist. But of course, he wasn't stupid, not with her sister and Ruby sniffing around. Still, the sound of his humourless laugh chilled her blood, "You know what he wants for his birthday?"

Beth breathed through her nose, trying to calm her racing heart. "I don't know, probably an Xbox or Minecraft, or something very expensive."

He looked down at her, his weight still on her shoulders, a promise. "His mom and dad back together."

"That's what he asked for?" She asked looking absently ahead.

"That's what he asked for."

Maybe it was the alcohol, or the bad night of sleep, the little spark that the kindness of another man incited in her, maybe the 98% reassurance he wouldn't hurt her with the girls in the house... but she confronted him, "Damn… I would've gone for the Xbox."

Dean snickered, "We're gonna throw him a goddamn party and we're gonna grant him his wish." Beth closed her eyes, a shiver running down her spine as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, "Daddy's coming home."

* * *

Beth's stomach flipped as she saw Rio, hands behind his back, looking down at her. The little condescending smile created goosebumps all over her skin, or maybe, it was the raw power that emanated from him, she couldn't tell. That smile would have looked pathetic in another man, but he carried it to perfection. He had the higher ground and he sure knew it. It should have scared her more than anything, but it was a magnet. Her feet moved and she excused herself, the pull, impossible to resist. Not that she had a choice… nor she wanted to find out what he would do if he had to descend from his throne of superiority, either.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy… Daddy!" Alarm bells rang in Dean's head while Emma said the words and waved a juice box in front of his eyes, which were glued to the man with throat tattoos making way into his bedroom.

"Hey, does, um… Does Mommy ever have any, like... you know, new friends come over?" He asked as casually as his temper allowed.

"Just a man in bed. He made me breakfast but I'm not _opposed_ to tell you that."

Dean's eyes burned with raw fury as he watched Beth close the door behind the man. "Huh, you don't say."

Beth closed the french doors behind her, eyes scanning the room. "You can't just walk in here." She informed softly.

"The door was open." He stated the obvious, a crooked smile as he looked over the family photos on her dresser.

"It's because I'm having a party with children and their parents." As if to perturb her further, he tugged at the side of his shirt, showing her his big, fat, golden gun in the process. "Uhg-Oh, my God, you brought a gun? Of course you brought a gun."

"Is this your husband?" He asked with a picture of Dean in hand.

It was one of her favorite photos of him, taken just a few years after they got married. When everything was a bed of roses and she was deeply in love with her husband. A memento from happier times, from a different man. "Yes."

Rio sneered, "What's he do?"

"He sells cars."

"Is he good at it?"

"Y-yea… Why-Why does that matter?" She stammered casting glances at the door, she was pretty sure Dean had seen them. The last thing she needed was a scandal or something worse… later.

"Yeah, he don't look too trustworthy for me." He placed the photo back and faced her.

 _God._ That half smile cut like an axe through her shield, one she had been carefully rebuilding for the last few days. "What do you want?"

He walked towards her, an explicit image passed through her mind's eye as he gave her a _very thorough_ once-over. She quickly shook it out of her brain, annoyed by her lack of control and repeated the question, "What do you want?

"Came to pick up my boy." He drawled, stopping barely one step away from her.

"That's hilarious. He's not here. And by the way, when he left, he held me at gunpoint, and stole my car." Beth could swear that she saw his eyes harden with each word she added, "So I'm gonna need payment for that too."

"Oh, I'm sorry, what payment?"

"Excuse me." She replied outraged.

"Yeah, you get paid when you do a job." He grimaced at her like she was some sort of halfwit, "Did… did you do a job?"

"He left." She replied, feeling exactly like one.

"Then that's on you."

"What am I supposed to do? Chain him to a bed?"

"Oh, baby, what you think this is, little league? That you get a trophy just for playin'?" He mocked her.

"I tried."

That impertinent arch of her eyebrow set him off. His so much beloved self-control went to the roof. What a month from hell this one was proving to be... being shot, now finding his boy went rogue... having to deal with these broads, this one in special.

All she did, ever since he met her, was defy him, and this act of innocent lil' wifey, ain't workin'... Not anymore. Six years ago she'd played and toyed with him, just like she did with that elevator pitch on _'normal people'_ and that _empty_ kiss... just like she was doin' right now. Six years ago she had broken his heart. Six years spent pinning after a conniving lying bitch... but then again, he should have known better, she _did_ warn him 'bout not being the good girl she looked like.

Today, seeing her next to her husband, surrounded by her kids... It stung like rubbing salt over an open wound. He couldn't avoid the hurt nor the anger, but like hell, she would make a fool out of him again, "I don't give a damn if you try. You gotta win, bitch."

Beth should have recoiled as he took that last angry step, but it wasn't anger what she saw in those dark orbs. It was all too familiar... he was hurting. And just for a fraction of a second she studied his mouth and wondered if she would be able to take that pain away.

Rio almost lost his breath, his cock stirring as she swept those huge blue orbs over his lips. _Cold Rio, be cold…_ His own eyes dropped to her lush lips. He knew damn well that lying mouth of hers. It might tempt him with its deceiving innocence yet, it knew all the tricks of a courtesan. His eyes dropped further down to her cleavage... _Be super cold._

He took a roll of 20s out of his pocket, and pressed it against those breasts, those magnificent breasts with the pinkiest nipples he'd ever seen… _Arctic cold, Rio. Be Arctic cold..._ "For the _inconvenience_ , a couple nights ago."

His drawl dripped with sarcasm and Beth grasped the roll of cash along with his fingers, and shoved it back to him, not before an electric current prowled all over her skin.

"I don't want your money, not for _that._ " She hated how he was twisting the bittersweet memory, but perhaps it was for the best.

He regarded her with an half-lidded, arrogant dark gaze. "And me here thinkin', money was the only reason you called on me."

Beth found too hard to find a smart-ass comeback while he stared at her like that. Like he knew something about her she hadn't figure out herself. It disturbed her, but then again... HE disturbed her. Full stop.

"Beth, you… you okay?"

Dean's voice startled the shit out her, and she took a couple steps back, "Fine, yeah. Fine."

Rio didn't even as much as blinked, his impenetrable midnight gaze was glued on her, and with such intensity that she was compelled to look back at him. He tossed the roll of cash in the air, casually making an arch between them, and she instinctively caught it in the palm of her hand. Only then he turned to Dean, feline-like, unworried, lazy strides. If Dean hadn't done the math by now, the smug smile on the corner of Rio's lips was like a statement on a flashy billboard, _'Yeah, I fucked your wife.'_

Dean squared his shoulders and puffed out his chest like a rooster about to crow. Beth rolled her eyes... _Maybe she should just leave so they could take their dicks out for measurement._

As if things weren't bad enough, Rio made sure to stop and tap Dean on the shoulder, "Cars, huh?"

Beth was already making her retreat through the french doors, if it came to blows she didn't want to be present. Maybe she would luck out and they would kill each other, leaving her with two fewer problems. One could wish, right? But Beth wasn't lucky. Rio walked away chuckling and Dean bared a murderous look over her just as she closed the door.

* * *

The party ran his course, and Beth ran out of excuses and options to keep ghosting Dean. The confrontation was imminent. Still, she couldn't avoid the smile that curved her lips as she watched him jumping in the bounce house with the kids. Sometimes Beth felt like an outsider, the kids had such a different bond with Dean than they had with her. Dean always got to be the _Good Cop,_ the _Fun Dad,_ and she was left to deal with the consequences, just like this party they couldn't afford. The smile died, and she wondered if he did it on purpose, was it another of his _creative_ ways to diminish her? With a sigh, she choked the sour thoughts with a mouth full of birthday cake. As if per queue, Dean entered the kitchen.

"Hope you didn't pop the bounce house, 'cause I gotta return that."

"That thing is awesome." He grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped it open, taking a large swig, "So… who's your new friend?"

Beth fussed with the salted snacks nervously, "What?"

"You know, the guy with the throat tats." He replied softly, too softly.

Beth kept silent for a few seconds, "Oh, he dropped off the bounce house."

"Hmm… any specific reason why the bounce house guy gave you a stack of cash after you were fighting in our bedroom?"

"It's really none of your business." She replied coyly.

"Emma says he sleeps over. That they had breakfast."

"Oh, well, Emma also thinks the Easter Bunny sleeps in her closet, so…"

He banged both closed fists on the countertop, Beth jumped and backed away from it, the snacks she had been packing spilled from the bag and spread all over. "Is that him? Emma's father?"

"I don't want to fight... I don't want the kids to see us like this. Please leave. We can talk when you're calm." She muttered.

"I have the right to know, Beth!" He slammed another fist on the countertop.

"I want you to leave, now." She repeated.

"No, it's Kenny's birthday party."

"Kenny's birthday party is over, and I am exhausted, and I would like to put the kids to bed." She said firmly.

"This is my house too..."

"The hell it is." She barged in.

"And you're still my wife, so…"

She walked to the back door with the intent on calling the kids so they could say bye to Dad, "Yeah! I gotta get on that."

Her hand had barely reached for the doorknob when he shoved her away, she almost ripped the blind from the door as she grabbed on something for balance. The counter behind avoided her fall. She hadn't heard him move, but she did hear the click of the lock over the wild beating of her heart as he flicked it. There was a glint on his eye, one that it wasn't there often but that Beth was familiar with, and with the consequences that came along too. He was drunk. Not smashed, just drunk enough to lose his qualms. _God, no… not with the kids right there._

"Dean, pleas... "

The rest of the words did not leave her mouth. When she saw the arch of his fist, it was already connecting with her gut.

The air was sucked out of her lungs. Beth doubled over with the force of the blow and fell on her knees. The cake she had eaten, a mere minute ago, squirmed its way back up her throat, twice the bitter as the thoughts she had tried to sweeten with it.

She barely had time to recover her bearings, his fingers twisted and grasped at her hair and yanked hard. She clawed her nails deep in his wrist, tried to get up to ease the pain ripping over her scalp but slipped in her own vomit.

He didn't care, he kept dragging her. Tears of pain and humiliation welled up behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

She hissed as he lifted her up by the hair, she was barely steady on her feet when he shoved her against the fridge. Bottles tinkled inside, the whole thing shook as her shoulder took the most of the impact, her head bounded back, then forward against the handle. She would have fallen if Dean hadn't seized her by the shoulders and forcibly turned her around. She would later swear she'd seen bright stars flying across her eyes.

"You fucking slut… all this time, all these years. You've been fucking him." He shook her, hands squeezing her arms brutally with each angered word.

This time, even through the haziness, she saw his hand descend. Her knee lifted, more by the instinct of self-preservation than anything else. She missed her target, but all the same, it startled him enough to let go of her. Beth stumbled on her own feet, her stomach was on fire, her face throbbed, her whole body trembled, struck by panic and agony. Her unsteady hand almost missed the cutlery drawer, _what was she going to do anyways? Stab him with her good silverware?_

Not that it mattered he was already on her, yanking and shoving her against the island, her lower back hitting the edge painfully. Desperate, she tapped blindly over the counter as he made the last step to her, her hand found a handle, a fat one… like one of a big, sharp knife.

"I-I'm going to leave you, I-I want a divorce." She wanted to be firm, but her voice shook as much as her body did.

Then, as if possible, his eyes glistened even wilder, "I'll kill you before I give you a divorce! You hear me… I'll fucking kill you." He growled at her, "And your bastard child too."

Something flickered inside her. It was like she had been doused with fuel and he just happened to throw the match that ignited it. Her fingers circled the knife handle so hard that she felt her nails tear into her palm.

With a piercing scream, she buried it in his chest. Once… nothing. Twice… It wasn't a sharp knife. It was a blunt cake server... and she shoved it against his pec a third time... then again a fourth time, barely making an indentation on his shirt. All strength had deserted her, she bawled her frustration, the humiliation tears she had promised not to shed, rolled down her cheeks. Pooled, salty, at the corners of her mouth along with the metallic taste of blood as he viciously smacked her across the face.

He yanked the cake server out of her hand, and maybe the slap had brought some sense into her, or Beth was not as weak as she thought, or she was just being plain crazy... but she lunged at him, clawing at his face like a wildcat. When he seized her wrists, she kicked and thrashed. It was like fighting against an oak tree, but she kept kicking, scratching and punching until she couldn't feel her hands anymore. Until she couldn't lift her arms any longer. Until she was heaving and no breath seemed to reach her lungs. Until she fell into his chest. Defeated. Useless. Vulnerable.

But it wasn't enough, not for Dean. He grabbed her neck, it would have been almost tender if she wasn't forced to look into his eyes. Now he would hurt her the only way left. He didn't need to. She was already humiliated, bruised and helpless. But he wanted to... it was right there in his eyes.

He turned her around harshly and shoved her face forcefully against the counter, the salted snacks crumbled under the weight of her upper body. Beth didn't resist, as he lifted the hem of her soiled dress and yanked her panties down. She didn't even flinch at the horrifying sound of his belt and fly being undone. No sound left her mouth as he cruelly pulled her arms behind her back and forced his way into her.

He took no more than five minutes to finish. It was the longest five minutes of her life, the longest five minutes of a lot of things... it didn't matter. Her children were still playing outside, their shrieks of happiness filled the air, blissfully unaware of the ugliness that crept so close. Safe... for now.

He stirred behind her, and she clenched her jaws as he slid out. She couldn't break down, not now, not yet.

She heard him curse and fumble with his pants, then silence... and she knew he was looking at her. Contemplating her shame. A sob broke through her throat and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He cursed again, then pulled her panties up and placed the hem of her dress back in place. Only then she moved. She let her body slid down the counter, wrapped her arms around her stomach and made a ball out of herself on the floor.

Dean crouched in front of her, his hand reaching for her and she flinched in fear. He shot up and angrily paced back and forward, launching curses, rubbing a hand over his face and hair. "You see what you made me do?" He spat over her, then he went back to pacing again. "So that's how you paid the mortgage, huh? How long have you been seeing him? Did you ever stop seeing him?" He stopped at each angry question and Beth recoiled each time thinking he was going to kick her. But he didn't. He did something worse.

He sat next to her and cradled her into his chest. Held and rocked her, shushing the muffled sobs, stroking her hair. "It's okay…shhh. It's okay. We will fix it, it's okay…"

Beth didn't have the strength to pull away, she was a rag doll in his hands.

"I can't keep doing this... I'm leaving you." She whispered once the sobs quieted down.

Long seconds of silence passed, where he tensed beside her and she thought he would make his promise of killing her true. Somehow his next words were even worse.

"Beth… I'm sick. I have cancer."

Beth almost laughed hysterically as he dropped the bomb. _There was no light at the end of her tunnel, huh?_

"I went to see a therapist as I promised you… we did a bunch of tests, bloods and all, that's how I found out. I'm waiting for more results, from the oncologist… please, Beth, don't leave me. I need you. I need to be here, with you and the kids… what I said before… I was angry, please forgive me. I would never hurt Emma. Ever."

She didn't say a thing. She was frozen. Like quick-set cement had been dropped over her and hardened.

He took her apathy as agreement, "I'm going to take my things from the car." He rose and brought her up with him, his arms wrapped around her felt like vices, "It's okay Beth, we're gonna fight this together. I love you."

If he noticed her as stiff as a rock he chose to ignore it. He pressed his lips, softly, to her swollen forehead and then walked towards the door.

"Dean..." He stopped dead in his tracks, icy tendrils crept over his spine as she spoke, "You try and hurt my babies... you so much look at them in the wrong way, just try and threaten them again... I promise you… You're going to wish you'd killed me today."

There was a coldness to her voice he'd never heard before and as he looked into her dead, empty, eyes he believed her.

"Tell them Mommy has a headache."

Chin high, posture erect, she walked away a queen... _A queen wearing a crown of lies and reigning over an empire of dirt._ She giggled hysterically to herself... Well, _she didn't have to lie about the headache._ She stopped and grabbed a bottle of bourbon from the cabinet.

In her master bathroom, she drew a bath with Epsom salts and peeled the soiled clothes from her body. She looked at herself in the mirror with a clinical eye. Her face could have been worse. It had been worse before. Along with the branding around her arms, her gut was definitely looking atrocious, and felt extremely tender, although it was hard to say, her whole body ached.

She grabbed a hand towel and detachedly cleaned the remnants of blood and semen between her legs. Throwing the towel to the pile of clothes that she would never wear again, she remembered the relief the little pills she'd stashed away in the far corner of the vanity drawer had brought her before.

That night she didn't swallow the pills. She slid into the hot water with a sigh of relief, popped two 40mg oxy pills in her mouth, crushing and chewing them between her teeth, then she washed away the bitter taste of medicine with bourbon, straight from the bottle.

 _Cancer? How could she leave him now? How could she abandon her husband, the man she'd love once, the father of her children, sick?_

When she finally had a plan, a way, and the courage to move forward… But, no. Dean never did make things easy for her. He wouldn't let go… he had to drag her down with him. Then again, he always been a rock, always there, either she needed him or don't.

Beth laughed dryly and took another swig of bourbon. Every time she thought she'd hit rock bottom, she would find it was possible to sink below.

 _When was she being allowed a break? Hadn't she earned one? Hadn't she tried enough..._

Finding out that he'd cheated on her, was finding that everything she had done, sacrificed, all the pain she went through... it had all been for nothing, all in vain.

When she smashed his things instead of consolation, she took another blow. The state of their finances was like sticking and twisting a thumb in the wound. _How were they even gonna pay for his treatment?_

Another mouthful of bourbon burned down her throat. _She had tried…_

For more than six years they had lived… existed, on a twisted codependence. He had a knack for apologizing and she had one for forgiving. She'd spent half of those six years forgiving him. The other half trying to forgive herself.

She had tried to love him again too. When she found it impossible, she did the next best thing she knew, she cared for him. Even when there were times she had wanted to douse his food with bleach or sprinkle it with rat poison, there was never a time she didn't think about making him dinner.

 _She tried._

 _I don't give a damn if you try. You gotta win, bitch._

Rio's voice sounded in her head. He was right. It was her fault, she should have left the first time Dean put his hands on her…

The water was still warm when she finally found the solace she was seeking. She closed her eyes and let it all go away.

* * *

His hand fumbled with the doorknob only to find it locked. Dean rested his head against the bedroom door and sighed. He could kick the door down if he wanted, but he was treading on a careful line right now. He had made a mistake this afternoon. Mentioning the kids. The last thing he wanted was to put her more on the defensive. Mama-bear Beth would be hard to deal with and he didn't want to hurt her... not too much.

He'd felt like a bastard this afternoon, seeing the blood... _but divorce? He would prefer to see her dead._ It was her fault, she'd crossed the line, she pushed him over the edge, she was not supposed to fight back, not anymore. It brought ugly memories from the first time he really hurt her.

There was no denying what happened that time, not enough makeup, nor sunglasses big enough to cover her bruises. It was the first time and the last she'd asked for a divorce, until today. Dean himself hadn't looked much better, she had fought hard that night, he hadn't broken her then, not yet. She had returned as much as she got.

Amazingly no one found out. Only his mother. He had to call her when his drunken stupor let him finally discern he was beating an unconscious Beth. He'd cradled her limp body in his arms and cried until his mother arrived. He thought he had killed her, and that he would die along with her.

He couldn't live without her.

He still remembered the first day he saw her, at 19 she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. He could still hear the laugh that caused him to take his eyes off the road and smash his bike wheel on the curb.

She was the first to run over and ask him if he was alright. He had said he would be if she would buy him a cup of coffee, it was the least she could do for being the reason behind his accident. She had blushed and laughed and he knew he was lost. Twenty years later, even with her wings broken, she was still breathtaking.

All his friends told him how lucky he was to have her. But Dean didn't feel lucky, he lived in constant fear. All his life he felt like he was one step away from losing her. She was always too beautiful, too smart, too perfect.. too much of everything. Too much for him.

When her mother died and left trouble-teen Annie to their care, it was like a blessing. Beth never needed him more. And he knew exactly where to play his cards with her. Where she duelled, her weaknesses, her fears. The first opportunity he had, he convinced her to have a baby, even when she said she wasn't ready, that she wanted to pursue her career a bit longer. Then he convinced her, she didn't need to work, she should stay home and their care of more babies, that she couldn't have it all. That she wouldn't be a good mother if she pursued her career. He had to give up on his dreams too, you know. He had to take upon his father's car business when they took Annie in.

Having failed financially had been a big blow for him, the way he saw the disappointment growing in her face when she found out, was something that he would always carry with him. He didn't just need her love, he needed her approval too. They were like two sides of the same coin.

Years ago, when she confessed to the one-night-stand, he almost beamed on finally having something tangible over her, if only he wasn't so crazed jealous about it.

It didn't matter that he always had a philandering dick and his own share of affairs over the years. It didn't mean he didn't love her.

Before that, he had to use other, more _subtle_ , ways to keep her pegged under his thumb. That caring nature was still the easiest way to pierce through her, he used it against her constantly. He had done it today. He got scared for the first time, he thought he had broken her, that she was lacking the backbone, but the way she talked today... for the last couple of days, the way she reacted... that wasn't the act of someone subdued.

He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't risk it. The cancer card had to come into play.

* * *

When Beth woke up with the knock on the door, she was still pleasantly high. The pain still at bay.

"Beth? Why the hell did you lock the door for?" Annie's voice came through muffled.

Beth yawned and stretched, butt naked in bed. The knock intensified, "Beth?"

 _Knock… Annie… she was naked… her face was a mess… shit._ She shot up from the bed. "Just a minute," She replied groggy, grabbing some PJs and hastily getting dressed, unfortunately, there was nothing she could do about her face.

"Holy shit! Is Dean in there?" Annie asked in disbelief. Beth wouldn't be that stupid... but Dean, somehow, always had his way with her. God, how she hated him... "Tell him I have seen his wiener before. I ain't gonna faint. No one would, it's not that special!"

Beth opened the door, "I'm not even gonna ask about what you just said but... what are you doing here and this early?" She whined.

"Really? You forgave him alrea…" Annie gasped, "Jesus, Beth! What happened to your face?"

Beth didn't even have to think, the half-lie poured, easily and convincingly, from her mouth, "Long story short, I slipped... on cake. Hit the fridge."

"Jesus, you sound like you have a contusion, all groggy and shit."

"I'm fine," she replied but her eyes teared up and she couldn't hold a sob. Annie instantly hugged her, "Dean... He's sick, cancer." Beth whispered into her sister's shoulder.

Annie let her cry for a bit then dragged to bed and tucked her in, brought a box of kleenex and joined in. "Oh, Beth… I'm sorry."

"What am I gonna tell the kids?" Beth asked, cleaning her runny nose.

"I don't know," Annie whispered.

"How are we gonna pay for it?"

"I don't know."

"What if he's really, really sick?" Beth whimpered.

Annie held her hand and squeezed, "We'll get through it together."

"How do you know that?" Beth asked almost inaudibly.

"'Cause we always do."

"I was going to divorce him… how am I supposed to do that now?"

"You just wait till he dies, then you'll be a widow. You've never been so cool." They both laughed despite the situation.

"When did life become this big monster that we just have to constantly feed?" Beth snivelled.

Annie cleaned a tear running over her sister's nose, "All right there, little Nietzsche, go back to sleep, okay?"

"I can't, I have to clean the mess and return all that stuff."

"Huh, I think your dying husband made himself useful, it was all pristine clean when I came in. And you don't have to worry about the returns. I'll do it. "

"I can't believe I spent ten grand on a party," Beth whispered.

Annie chuckled, "Did you see that little kid's face? You're an amazing, amazing mother."

Beth's bottom lip trembled, and she cleaned her nose again. "So are you."

"Besides, all that stuff is getting returned, so it doesn't matter," Annie said getting up. "Where's the receipt?"

"In my purse." Beth replied absently, like a strike of genius an idea started forming in her mind. A very lucrative idea... if _gang friend_ , Rio, wasn't too upset with her.


	5. A Dance with the Devil

So, sorry for the long wait. This was mostly all written today so excuse me any mistakes... I'm crossed eyed atm! LOL

Hope you enjoy! Let me know!

* * *

This time, Beth made sure to round up the girls beforehand. Annie was in before she even put the plan out there, Ruby, after being fired and with Sara's medicine running low, didn't even need convincing. They all needed the money and they all needed it fast.

Beth was in a limbo. Half concerned, mildly thrilled and rather surprised, that he'd agreed to meet them again. _Wasn't that her perpetual state when he was near, anyway?_ She put her best smile and shook away the mix of feelings. This was business, that was all. "We have a business proposition."

"Aw, you guys didn't hit me up to do brunch?"

Beth chose to ignore his sarcasm, "To clean your fake money…"

"Mm-mm... Stop right there. With me, business is done eye to eye, sweetheart." He drawled, "Take off your sunglasses."

Beth shifted uncomfortably in her seat. But did what he asked. It had only been two days, the pain was under control, with Advil - she had promised herself not to put another of those Oxys in her mouth, _ever again_ \- the bruises on the other hand, were at their worst. She worked her magic with ice packs, anti-bruising cream and makeup, but there was nothing she could do to about the bleeding that had spread through her eye. He slanted his eyes but did not comment. _Thankfully._ "As I was saying… To clean your fake money without having to deal with drug dealers or street people."

"Street people?" Annie frowned towards Beth and shook her head with incredulity.

"I got a system," Rio uttered into his drink.

"It's a liability." Beth riposted.

"It gets the job done." He vaguely returned.

"How'd you get sh…" Rio gave her a cold warning stare, "...your friend get shot again?"

Rio sighed with annoyance although she did have a point. "What're you proposing?"

"Let us do it right here."

He smiled… assholey, "You wanna clean fake cash here?"

Annie quickly explained, "Or any big box retailer. You know, Walmart, Costco. They have very generous return policies."

"And no one thinks twice about a wife buying her husband a flat screen TV or new tires for the minivan," Ruby added.

Annie continued, "We trade it all in for fresh cash."

Beth finished their pitch with the tagline, "Fake money in, real money out."

Rio looked around, seeing their point. These bitches might just be crazy… but they were clever too. He turned to them, "Y'all got it all figured out, huh?" Then focused on Beth, from under his half-slitted dark eyes, that might just be concentrating just a tad further down than they should. It was hard not to when she'd popped her tits over her crossed arms on the table, and they were so appetizingly squeezed together, practically spilling from that momma sweater, "What's in it for you?"

Beth didn't even hesitate, it was like he said, they had it all figured out, "20% cut of the profit."

"Oh, is that right?" He chuckled, "There anything else while we're at it? Y'all want health care? Union breaks?"

"Just for the record, I'll never smuggle anything up my butt." Ruby set it straight.

Rio just stared down at them, frowning in disbelief. _What the actual fuck... Man, these bitches…_

"I could be talked into it if the compensation was appropriate… wait. Where are you going?" Annie said as he got up.

"Uh, I gotta go buy a duvet cover." He replied softly.

Beth got up, unsure if he was serious or taking the piss. How hard could it be to read this man, seriously?

"Are you in or…?" Ruby asked.

Rio shrugged his shoulders, "We'll give it a try."

Beth gave him a taste of his own medicine as he walked away, "We're not here to try, we're here to win, _bitch._ "

He stopped, those perfectly drawn male lips, slightly parted, like he was just as surprised by her dare as Beth herself. Whatever surprise, if any, he'd shown, was quickly sealed behind a freezing, dark gaze.

He had absolutely no reason to be here, playing this game, but this woman had wedged herself under his skin like a stubborn splinter... the more he poked it, the deeper it seemed to go… Oh, but he would get rid of it... and maybe in the process, he would get the sweet lil' revenge he felt entitled to.

Beth blinked, forgetting how to breathe as he walked closer, looking down at her. She could hear the girls gasps. But she didn't move. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

"10%." He said softly and unexpectedly.

She stared at him in complete surprise, but quickly recovered, "15."

"12 and ½"

"Okay, deal." She quickly agreed, deciding she had pushed her luck enough _for a lifetime._

"Cool," He drawled smugly, "I usually pay 30."

And he walked away. The amused half-smile pierced through Beth, warming her insides with self-esteem. With a smile of her own, she turned to the girls, still open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

"Dude!" Annie hollered excited, raising her hand for a high-five wich Beth promptly took.

The thrill was short-lived, getting home and knowing Dean was there took all the pleasure from her small victory away. They were in the lull phase now. He was sleeping in Kenny's room... he wouldn't try and touch her, not while he was feeling guilty... not until the bruises faded from her body. Then he would start to forget… until the day he would lose it again. A vicious cycle. Unscheduled, random... but still a circle.

She looked at his back, she wanted to hate him… instead of an extra pillow and a blanket, she should drop that sledgehammer over his head. She did hate him, but not enough. _Why couldn't she? Why couldn't it be easy? Was there some kind of sick love remaining for her husband deep in her?_ The thought was offending... if she had residual love for her husband she was as sick as he was.

"Hey, what're you doing?" She asked softly.

Dean jumped a little in the chair, closing whatever webpage he had open, "Um… Just playing and freaking myself out."

"Yeah, maybe don't do that."

"Yeah, right." He should feel guilty, for lying… for her marred face, but when she looked at him with those big, sad, worried eyes, it all seemed worthy. Legitimate means to an end.

"When will you know more?"

"I got a bunch of scans and tests next week."

"Okay. Well, I'll go with you."

"You don't have to. But that would be great… Um, hey, I just wanna say thanks for letting me stay home."

Beth nodded and smiled thinly, "You're gonna be okay in here?"

"Oh, yeah, totally. Kenny's psyched, so am I. I get to sleep on the top bunk." The doorbell rang as he replied, a charming smile spreading through his lips... it did not warm her.

Beth nodded, "I better go get that."

"Yeah. Hey, Bethie… Don't worry, I got this."

"I know." She meekly replied, a forced smile in her face. Dean wouldn't die, he was not the type of man to let go. Twenty years ago he had set his sights on her and hadn't let go. Certainly, he wouldn't start now.

The last thing she expected when opening that door was the FBI. She could have killed Dean with the ice in her eyes when he mentioned, _that guy._ He did get the message tho, and quickly came up with an excuse. Beth thought Agent Turner had bought it... until he gave her his card... _not to Dean_ , he gave it _to her._ Ten minutes later she was driving to Ruby's, with Annie already on the way too.

"We shouldn't do it," Beth whispered worriedly into her mug.

"What do you mean we shouldn't do it?" Annie asked.

"I mean we shouldn't clean a bunch of counterfeit money when the FBI is on our trail."

"It was your idea!" Annie shouted.

Ruby looked towards the hallway with concern, "Can you all keep it down please?"

"Look, they're not on our trail, okay?"

"He was in my kitchen."

"Stan is in my bedroom," Ruby muttered aggravated.

"If the guy knew anything he would just have said it."

"He gave his card to me, and not to Dean. What does that say, huh?"

"Well, maybe he didn't know if Dean could read. No offence on your husband choice Beth, but I think we all can agree he looks pretty dumb." Beth and Ruby rolled her eyes at her, "Look, I got fancy lawyer bills coming out the wazoo, dawg! I talked to her for 15 minutes it cost me 800 dollars!"

"You know how much a criminal lawyer costs?" Beth retorted.

"I need this payday, we didn't get the last one."

"We all need it. But let's not be stupid about it." Ruby asserted.

"What's stupid is if we screw this up. Because, _Gang Friend_ , is not going to give us another shot."

"Speaking of payday…" Beth interrupted, taking two small stacks of cash from her purse.

Ruby looked at her with curiosity, "What's this from? I thought we weren't getting paid anything."

"660 dollars? Great! Only need 120 more to cover my bill!" Annie said sarcastically.

"It's more than what you had five minutes ago." Beth stuck in, "Gang friend… he was shot too, I took care of him. That's what it was for."

"Oh! You took care of him?" Ruby raised her eyebrows.

"It's nothing… probably some teenager, like, stole an Xbox or something. I promise you, it was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing! It was the FBI!" Beth uttered.

"Okay... so it was two Xboxes! Look... not all of us have a personal _gang friend_ to give us an allowance. We need this, Beth."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Annie?"

"I mean, you can just tell him about Emma and your money problems would all be solved. Is not that easy for us."

"Are you serious right now? I won't tell him about Emma. Ever. I can't."

"Beth…" Ruby said, "I hate to say it, but your sister has a point, I'm not talking about money... He has the right to know Emma is his."

"Seriously? What if it was Sara? Or Sadie? Would you tell him?" That kinda shut them up, "What do I know about him? That he's a bad boy with a dry sense of humour, who likes to wave golden guns at my face. Top parenting skills! Definitely sets the bar high as a role model! I don't freakin' want him anywhere near Emma."

"Yet, you were pretty quick in coming up with a _business proposition."_ Annie pointed out.

Ruby raised her eyebrows, tilting her head in agreement. "She ain't wrong."

Beth squinted her eyes with anger, "You guys have no idea what's going on since that guy showed up in my life six years ago… no fucking idea what it feels to have this... _guillotine_ over your head and just be waiting for it to… I-I… Dean… I…" Beth sighed tiredly, "Nevermind." Shaking her head she picked her purse and left.

Before the girls could say anything to stop her, Stan walked into the room, fully uniformed, blaring a "Freeze, ladies."

"Oh my f..." Beth almost shit her pants and by the look on the girls' faces, they weren't far from it either, "H-Hey, Stan. Looking good."

"First day as an officer in training," Ruby said, almost too brightly.

"Mm-hmm. Now tell me, would you pull over if you saw all this coming at you in the rearview?" Stan asked.

"Oh, I'd pay the ticket on the spot." Beth replied with a sad smile, already closing the door.

Stan frowned noticing Beth's tight face, "What up with her?"

Annie waved dismissively, "PMS… don't worry about it. Damn, look at you! I mean, I'd run, but you'd catch me in five seconds."

"Hear that?" Stan said, giving Ruby a pec, "Getting real now, huh?"

"Oh yeah, realer by the minute." Replied Ruby.

Beth wasn't expecting to get a load of cash to wash the same day she'd arrange the deal with Rio. Less seeing him again in her kitchen. It wasn't like she could impose conditions when she had to _request_ him to meet them and he _suggested_ her house. What was she gonna say? _No, not at my house. I don't want you to find out about your secret daughter?_ Once Beth explained their sitch and put up with Rio's little shit-eating smile whilst Annie made her look like a fool with the baby upright piano story, being schooled on his _distribution system_ like some idiot, was a bit too much on her pride.

"Wait!" She muttered as he walked away, "Can I speak to you, privately."

Rio raised and unruly eyebrow and smirked over his shoulder, "Sure."

Under the amused scrutiny of Annie and the shock of Ruby, Beath cleared her throat and walked to the living room with Rio glued to her heels. She was not even sure why she asked him to talk _privately_ … Beth started to feel very uncomfortable, for all the wrong reasons.

She faced him unsure, "I… uh… A-Are you sure you're not worried about the FBI?" His sly smirk faded into an annoyed one, "Look, I have children… I can't risk it!" She lowered her voice as she heard Annie actually making conversation with the gangsters in her kitchen… _Oh, my God! What was wrong with her sister!?_

"You chose the wrong devil to dance with if you don't want to _risk it,_ sweetheart." His tone was playful, a teasing velvet caress... "What happened to your face?"

The sudden change of topic caught Beth off guard, her hand shot up, covering her eye socket, "Oh… it's nothing… I, uh, stupid fall, the day of the party. It looks worse than it is." She added dismissively.

He stared at her with half-closed eyes, the corner of his mouth lifted with that half-smile that never ceased to leave her both weak on her knees and confused, then licked his lips, "Right."

Her eyes dropped to them. Unavoidably. And she had to ask herself if she was as crazy as her sister. Clearing her throat she looked away.

He chuckled almost imperceptible, "Do you need somethin' else, sweetheart?"

"N-no." She quickly returned - perhaps too quickly - under his suggestive tone, "We got it. Two weeks, 100G's."

Oh, he liked to provoke her alright… his smile widened and he licked his lips again as if to test her. And boy... if she failed, miserably. Like pull from a magnet, her eyes darted to his lips again.

"By the way, sweetheart, when I say somethin'... I mean it. You remember that." He warned her and walked away with his boys on his trail.

* * *

Two days later they started _shopping._ After the first, nerve-racking, encounter with the cash verifier, the rest was easy. Buy here, return there. Red bands out, green bands in. By the end of the week, between the three, they had cleaned almost all of it. Beth spread her share all over the kitchen. She was stashing that day gains in the cereal boxes when the front door opened, making her jump. It was Dean arriving from work, strangely early.

"Hey! What're you doing?" He asked, with the mail in hand.

Beth cleared her throat and closed the aluminium container full of cash, before he could reach the kitchen, "Just, uh, some reorganizing."

"Here, let me help."

"It's okay, I have a system." She replied short.

"Okay." He said sheepishly, then grabbed the dog food in which Beth had stashed cash too.

"I… I already fed the dog." She quickly pointed out.

"Oh, okay. Well, what can I do to help?"

"What do you mean?" She asked confused. _Dean wanting to help? That was new._

"Well, I'm back home. So, you know, I want to be useful."

Beth rolled her eyes into the open cabinet, "You should be resting."

"No, I'm okay." He replied softly, brushing through her to grab a beer from the fridge.

The movement reminded her of Kenny's birthday party, and she tensed. She hated to feel this way, scared when he was near, uncomfortable in her own skin every time he crept his eyes over her. Jumping when the door closed. Suffocating when he entered the same room as her. She forced herself to relax. "What did the doctor say?"

"We'll know more after the appointment. Whether it's going to be… chemotherapy, or radiation, or whatever."

She suddenly felt guilty by the harsh way she'd had refused his help, "Um… You know, you could fill my car up with gas." She forced a smile out.

"Yeah?!" He exclaimed excitedly. Beth flinched as he wrapped his arms around her. Her heart hammered in her chest as he rubbed her back tenderly, the most tenderly he had touched her in years.

"That would be nice." She pushed the words out her mouth and tried to calm down her racing heart.

"Yeah, sure. I'll do it." He looked intently at her, "You look so beautiful today…" Beth observed the glint of lust in his eye with dread, when he started nuzzling on her neck she started to shiver not from pleasure but horror, "Hmm. You smell so good too."

When he kissed her lips she was already _not there..._ recoiling to that space in her mind where he would never be welcomed, nor wanted. Where she kept her battered, worn out spirit… Where he couldn't touch her.

"Jesus, Beth!" He shook her gently, startling her with the raising of his voice, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just kissing my wife." He backed away, and raised his hands, "I don't wanna spent what might be the last months of my life with you in fear…" He sighed, "I won't hurt you again, I promise."

"I'm sorry, Dean! I just can't turn it off… I'm not a fucking switch!" She snapped at him, for a second she thought he was gonna lose it, she was expecting it as he clenched his jaw, but to her surprise, he didn't.

"Okay, Beth. I'll give you time... I don't know how much I have to give but..." He sighed defeatedly, "Just let me hold you… don't push me away, please."

Beth felt another pang of guilt and nodded, still uncertain. Dean hugged her tightly, smiling into her hair, beaming with triumph. He had been wrong, there was nothing to be afraid, she was still the same Beth... You just needed to know when and which buttons to press. And if she wasn't… well, we would rather prefer her not having any buttons left to press. He could take care of that... if it ever stretched that far.

* * *

Two weeks later, Beth packed the duffel bag full of real cash in the boot of her car, all set for delivery, with a satisfaction she hadn't felt in a long, long time. While there was definitely a rush from spending absurd amounts of cash, it was the planning and coordination of the whole process that made Beth tick, and of course, the thrill… the possibility of getting caught, always on the back of her mind, made her blood rush and her brain numb to the other events and outcomes in her life. It was almost as effective as taking those little yellow pills… as addictive too. Beth couldn't wait to wash the next delivery of fake cash.

Her satisfaction smile died as she spotted Agent Turner. She made a quick recovery, joking about the dog poop case, only to stumble in her words when he showed her a photo of Rio leaving her house. She vehemently denied knowing the man in the picture, but Agent Turner was persistent, and aided by her obvious nervousness when he mentioned showing the photo to Dean, left Beth with no choice...

"I can't talk about it right now." She said softly.

Agent Turner stared at her for a few seconds and Beth fumbled nervously with the car keys.

"Mom, we're gonna be late!" Kenny shouted from the backseat.

"Not in front of my kids," Beth added, feeling a terrible mother as she used them as an excuse to buy some time, but what other option did she have? _Oh God! What was she going to do?_

"Then I think you should come by my office."

"Uh, okay." She replied, "Tomorrow's okay?"

"Today's better." Agent Turner said firmly.

"Okay." She promptly agreed.

 _Fuck._

Beth dropped the kids at school and met with Rio in an abandoned parking lot, cliche, but it served them well.

"So what do I say?"

"To whom?" He asked absently as he counted the cash on the passenger seat of her van.

"The FBI." Beth muttered exasperated, "What do I tell them?"

"They ain't got nothin'."

"They've got a picture of you." She retorted, perplexed with his dismissal… IT WAS THE FBI, for christ sake!

"That ain't special. I'm on facebook, too." He said with _that_ tone, that left her in doubt if he was serious or just taking the piss out of her. _God, this man pushed her buttons to an extent…_

"Your cut." He placed several stacks of money in the middle console and opened the door.

"Wait, w-wait, wait."

He grunted, annoyed, but sat back, rubbing his eyes with a large tan hand. He had huge hands, thick fingers with clean, neatly trimmed fingernails. Beth shook her thoughts, what an odd thing to focus on when she had the FBI to worry about.

"Listen," His midnight gaze captured all of her attention, "In my line of work, if you don't have the FBI on your back, you ain't making noise."

"I don't want to make noise." Beth retorted, "They're gonna want to know what someone like me is doing with someone like you."

"What are you doing with someone like me?"

The question, asked so naturally by that velvet voice and under that intense, dark gaze threw her. She couldn't let a guard down for a second with him, he was too unpredictable... a dangerous enigma. "Well, obviously, I can't tell them that."

"Right, right." Beth felt the change in the air, the hair on the back of neck raising, the sensual tension was palpable as he looked at her... _look_ was probably not the right word, nope… he _ate_ her with his eyes while that wicked side smile spread on the corner of his lips. And Beth found herself swallowing the hard lump in her throat.

"All right, so tell them I was hittin' it."

"What?" She blurted out in total confusion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. Tell them... we're makin' love."

She opened and closed her mouth, feeling heat spreading over her cheeks, forcing her to look away from that mocking gaze, stumbling on her own tongue, "I-I... how do I even… say that?"

He laughed softly, "I'm sure you'll think of something, unless... you need some _suggestions."_ He drawled, the dark gaze full with mischievousness, "What's the matter, sweetheart? That husband can't handle it, huh?"

Beth stared at him wide-eyed, completely nonplussed for what seemed an eternity until she finally managed to look away, "Don't be vulgar," She uttered, fighting things she shouldn't be feeling.

"Maybe I can when you stop provoking me." He riposted softly.

Beth's head shot back to him at the words. He was smiling enticingly, daring her with those slanted, melting, dark chocolate orbs. "This is business. I'm not provoking you! Do you feel provoked?"

She didn't think it was possible, but his eyes turned even darker. "Yeah, I do. I feel provoked all the fuckin' time... I do, when you jut that lil' chin dimple at me, full of airs and graces. I do, when you look at me with that lost, widened blue gaze. I do, when you look at my lips as if you were starving." He leaned closer to her, so close that they were sharing the same breath, so close that Beth could finally differentiate the pupils from the iris of his eyes. "I feel especially provoked right now… when you're acting all innocence, when I've already burned in your fire… when I know _exactly_ how hot-blooded you are."

Beth felt how her breath caught, how her lips parted, dry, as his soft ones touched hers. It wasn't anything like the prodding, sweet, patient kisses he had given her before. No. This was demanding, angry, brutal… still, it tasted nothing but sweet to Beth. He bit into her lower lip, hard enough to make her moan, hard enough for her to open her mouth wider, for his tongue.

One of the large hands she had appreciated minutes ago, circled her nape, bringing her closer. The other cupped her breast firmly. The heat from his palm trespassing the layers of clothing and making her nipple stiffen with need.

Her breath hitched uncontrollably. She didn't know what she was doing, she knew she should stop this, but she didn't feel capable. Not when his thumb rubbed over her nipple, again and again, each pleasurable circle prompting the wetness between her legs to develop.

He broke the kiss, her lips felt swollen, tender, but she didn't have time to dwell, his stubble grazed over the sensitive skin of her neck and her ear lobule was captured between his teeth. "How solid is that table on your dining room, darlin'?" His rough drawl spread down her spine like little needles of pleasure. Beth shivered, white-hot need rushing through her veins.

"I-Oh, I-I don't know… pretty solid, " She moaned, grasping the back of his head closer to her neck.

"Good. Here's what you gonna tell them… " He nibbled down her neck, his hand kneading her breast, "We met at a bar… you were wearing a dress… that purple one with the flowers…" She didn't have that dress anymore, there were terrible memories linked to that dress but she couldn't think of one as his hand slowly glided from her breast down to her navel, "That I pulled your panties… What are they? Black lace?" He asked hoarsely, hooking a finger at the lace over her hip, his Adam's Apple moving, slowly, up and down, as he swallowed, "Yeah… I pulled your panties down and fucked you on that table... right over your kids' breakfast dishes." His voice was a husky whisper as he pressed his open palm over her mound, his fingers pushing the jean's seam against her core. Her hips jerked and he kissed her moan away.

"I fucked you hard… in an' out of that pretty pussy until I made you come, and you were so fuckin' tight, felt so fuckin' right... that I had to pull out, else I'd nutted right there… but I didn't stop. Nah, darlin'... I had to taste that sweet cunt... " His fingers kept pressing over her clit and entrance as he spoke. Memories from that fatidic night six years ago flooded her mind, fantasy and reality, past and present, blended in a mind-fuck of intense pleasure... her breasts were heavy, her nipples hard, hurting against the bra fabric and embarrassing noises came out from the depths of her throat. She was close, so close.

"Oh, God…" She whimpered.

"I made you come again... lapping at those overflowin' sweet juices. You taste ripe, sweetheart... mellow and it's fuckin' divine."

Beth was too entangled on the pleasure to notice he had undone her jeans. When he slid two fingers over her clit she jumped on her seat. When he pushed those fingers inside her aching centre, she exploded.

He kept going, in and out, as her hips bucked, as she uttered incoherent things down his throat, while he licked her lips, nibbled at her lower lip, her jaw… not giving her the time to come down from her high.

"I bent you over that solid wood top, darlin'. Your tits squashed and spilled all over it while I fucked you from behind, this time was for me... but you're such a fuckin' hot mess… your pussy gripped at my cock like a vice... ready to come again."

All of a sudden, Beth shot her eyes opened, "No… I… I-no, no. I-I don't want this." She clawed her nails on his wrist, he slid another finger inside her. Beth hissed, throwing her head against the headrest.

"Nah?" He asked, circling his thumb over her clit.

Beth shook her head as fire shot through her lower belly.

He chuckled, doubling his efforts, in and out of her faster, harder, his thumb flicking over her engorged clit with planned expertise.

He assumed she was trying to defy him… challenging him, but in truth, Beth was fighting herself. When the orgasm hit her, she'd already declared herself defeated. She rode it with mortification, while renewed old guild clung at her like cobwebs.

When he finally slid his hand out of her panties, Beth shot out of the car, unable to face him or herself. She paced back and forth, fastening her jeans with shaky hands, waves of panic rushed through her. _This couldn't happen. She didn't want this. She just needed the money. She wanted to be numb, not fed by this consuming fire._

The car door opened and closed. Panic wouldn't solve anything... She took a big breath and faced him. Leaned frame against the car, hands crossed in front of him holding the money bag, he was perfectly neutral, like the past 10 minutes he spent fingerfucking her was all a figment of her imagination.

Beth clenched her jaws, "This can't happen, our relationship is to be strictly professional."

The hardness in his eyes, froze her blood. The malicious tone of his words, hurt more than any slap Dean could have ever given her. "Oh, I'm sorry… Y-you thought that what happened in there was anythin' else than business?" He ridiculed her, laughing dryly, "If… what's is name… Agent Turner saw that unsatisfied, sex-starved, body language we would both be fucked... and not in the way you enjoy, sweetheart."

Beth was too cold for the shame to affect her outright. She walked back to her car as it started a slow simmering in her stomach instead. She was a complete idiot... a disgusting idiot.

"I'll have my boys make another drop tonight." The smug smile was the last straw, "Make me sound good, yeah?"

Beth closed the door and waited until his car was out of sight in the rearview mirror, then opened the door again, leaned out, and puked her breakfast.

When the phone rang she was dry-heaving, she let it rang. It kept ringing again and again. Like the self-loathing words buzzed in her brain. Beth threw herself against the seat, cleaned her mouth with the back of her hand, her breath was uneven, her face a total racoon by the tears she didn't even notice she was shedding.

She reached for her purse and Annie's name flashed on her phone screen again. She picked the phone just as she did last night, when Annie dropped her share of the cash after returning the flat screens. She wasn't exactly in the best terms with her sister since the dumpster incident two nights ago, both had said regretful things.

"Hello,"

Annie didn't even bother with pleasantries, went straight to the point, "It's Sara, she's in the hospital again."

When Beth arrived at the hospital, cleaned faced and respectfully presentable, Annie was already there.

"Hey…"

"What happened? Beth asked with concern.

"Ruby just went back inside… it's bad, Sara's kidney is non-function…"

"Oh, no…" Beth sighed, "I need a bourbon. I'm guessing you didn't smuggle any of that schnapps into the hospital, like at prom, huh?"

Annie laughed, "No, I didn't."

"It seems coffee will have to do."

"Yeah, that would be great." Annie hugged her arm around Beth's waist as they walked to the cafeteria.

"Um… That night, at the dumpster… it wasn't my finest moment…" Annie said once they sat with their coffees.

"It wasn't mine either." Beth quickly sympathized.

"Believe me... I could have said worse."

Beth chuckled, "I don't doubt it."

Annie drank the hot brew, observing her sister, absently flicking her nails on the mug handle... God, she looked an advertisement for sorrow, "Beth… if you are truly that unhappy with Dean, you should leave. Now. You don't owe him anything…" Beth looked away, "... unless you still love him?"

"I-I honestly don't know… But it's not that simple Annie. Not for me."

Annie decided not to push any further, her sister was always so private... guarded was a better way to put it. Maybe because she was always more of a mother to Annie than anything... there was always this thing she did... trying to protect everyone from the big monster called life. Annie never fully understood it until she was a mother herself, but Beth doubled the efforts in being always there, always available, always the listener, the adviser. Annie knew she never did things easier for her sister, and after the little breakdown at Ruby's, she started to wonder if wasn't all too much for Beth... carrying a bit of everyone's burdens, when she obviously had her owns. So Annie did what she did best, she fooled around.

"How was it with _Gang friend_?"

"What?"

Annie laughed as her sister blushed, "I mean today… " Somehow she turned even redder, "Did he pay us or?"

Beth hid her face in the large mug, "Oh-uh, yeah he did. Have it all in my purse."

"Is there something else he did?" Annie raised her eyebrows up and down suggestively, unable to let it go.

"Shut up," Beth muttered. "We should give it all to Ruby, there's no way she's gonna have money to pay for all this."

"Yeah… I, uh, I thought it was just an accidental one-night-stand, that gang friend meant nothing…"

Beth laughed humourless, "So did I, Annie. So did I."

She frowned but again decided not to pursue, it would only leave Beth reticent. She would tell her when she was ready, at least she hoped so. "Beth, you know I'm here for you, right?"

"I know." Beth grabbed her hand and squeezed it, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen her sister really laugh or even truly smile.

Half an hour later they were sitting with Ruby in the hospital's waiting room.

"All the stuff you think you're keeping from them? You're not." Ruby stated and it hit Beth close home.

She shook her head, "Don't go there."

"I mean, I'm not going to say that I'm a bad mother, but…"

"Oh, she's going there," Annie uttered.

"... I could've paid more attention."

"You do the best you can."

Rubby sniffed as Beth gave her a box of pastries, "Those better be doughnuts. Do not come at me with some wack-ass cheese Danish."

She lifted the lid and started crying, "Those aren't doughnuts."

"It's everything, it's our whole cut."

"We knew you'd need it for the hospital bill," Annie said with a tear in her eye too.

"We don't want you to even think about it, okay?"

Both sisters leaned on Ruby, as she cleaned the tears. "You bitches messed up my damn face."

"It was already pretty messed up," Annie replied.

"I hate you guys."

"We know," Beth said softly.

"So… have you already discussed the comment about the twigs and the…"

"Ah, yes. Yes, we… we had a discussion about it." Annie said with a smile.

"Man, I missed it?"

"Mm-hmm. I was the bigger man, I apologized." Annie said.

Beth squinted, "Yeah, sort of."

"Well, I said it wasn't my finest moment."

"You also said it could have been way worse." Beth riposted.

"Yeah, because I wanted to say 'raisin cave'. But I restrained myself."

"What does that even mean?" Ruby uttered confused.

"Uh, I think I know. And it is not an apology." Beth enlightened.

Annie laughed, "What you want from me, blood? Please."

Ruby started wheezing with laughter, " _Raisin cave._ Oh my GOD!"

Beth soon joined, and the three were soon laughing like hysterical idiots.

* * *

Beth arrived home already past dinner time, to find Dean seating at the dinner table with a plate set for her.

"Hey." He greeted.

"Oh, wow. You cooked?"

"Yeah, I watched that Rachel Ray show. There's something wrong with that woman. She's like, so happy."

"I know, it's really weird." Beth had to agree.

"Yeah, hey, do you want me to heat up your plate?"

Beth shook her head, "Sara's in the hospital again. I'm gonna shower and then head back there."

"Oh, right. And you could have bothered to explain that when you asked me to pick up the kids." Beth just stared at him and he sighed, "Look, Beth. I'm really trying here."

Beth nodded, "I know. I think It's gonna take more than filling up the car and Rachel Ray."

"Right…" Beth was almost sad about his dejected face as she walked away, "If it never happened…" She stopped in her tracks, "You know... the bounce house guy, Amber, the money, the…" he waved dismissively the rest of the words, "Would you still be with me?"

"I-I don't even know how to answer that."

He grimaced and sucked his teeth, "I think you just did."

With nothing to say Beth just walked away.

Under the shower later, she reflected on the events of the day. She had to keep her distance from Rio. She had to come up with a plan, some kind of defence, avoid him the most she possibly could… All of her suspicions, fears, had become true… she couldn't handle Rio. Indeed a dance with the devil, one she would doubtful come out unharmed from. With a few calculated touches, a few well-placed words he had hurt her more than Dean would ever do with his fists. Pierced through and through, reached were Dean never had… she had not much to lose, yet she would lose everything if she didn't dance to his tune carefully.

Whatever she felt for this man, she couldn't lock it away, keep it at bay… Beth frowned at the sudden sting on her skin. She had been rubbing her neck absently - where he had kissed her - there was blood in her bath loofah. She stared at it for the longest time, then proceeded to scrub her lips until she felt them raw... She scrubbed all herself in a frenzy until her skin was red and aching.

When satisfied she raised her face towards the falling water washing away the tears. Beth observed how the salty tears mixed with the fresh water and indistinctly spiralled down the drain. She could do this, she had been pretending for so long... it was all the same, she was just like that water. It didn't have to be different now... No one could make the distinction, no one had.

Beth closed the taps with renewed spirits… fuck Dean, and fuck Rio. She was tired of being played like a fucking instrument. It was enough. She had enough.

She was gonna play her own goddamn song... make them think they were leading the dance, while she outplayed them both from right under their fucking noses.

Agent Turner felt like her first test. And she passed it with flying colours.

" , can I get you anything? Coffee?"

"Oh, uh, you drink coffee at this hour?" Beth scoffed all smiles.

"I don't sleep much anyway. You?"

"I had an affair." She blurted out.

"You had an affair." Agent Turner repeated surprised.

"I'm not proud of it, and it's over now. But that's why he was at the house, and that's why I couldn't say anything in front of my husband and my children."

"Oh. Well. Okay, then."

"Okay." She said softly already getting up to leave the office.

"Okay." He repeated, "Just out of curiosity, where'd you meet him?" Beth stopped dead in her tracks, of course, it would be that easy, "I'm just wondering where a nice lady like you meets an inner-city gangbanger. PTA? Or is it like, a speed dating thing? What's that website, It's Just Lunch?"

"At a bar."

"What was he wearing?"

"Jeans."

"What about you?"

"A dress."

"Where'd you meet him?"

"At a restaurant."

"You just said bar."

"A bar-restaurant. They had food." Beth smiled, he was playing the bad cop, trying to make her uncomfortable with the quick-fired questions.

"What was the name?"

"Lucky's."

"Bet they'd remember a pair like you. Who drove? You or him, who drove?"

She hadn't had to lie until now, "Um, we both did."

"What kind of car does he drive?"

"Black BMW."

"It'd be registered, I'll check it."

"It might be a Cadillac."

"Maybe." Right there Beth knew he wasn't letting it go, "Have a good night, ."

She calmly sat back, placed her purse on the floor like she had no intention of going anywhere, and waited till she had his full attention before speaking, "It was a one-night stand. I had just found out that my husband was cheating on me with a child. More or less. And I was lonely, and angry. And... normally, sleeping with a complete stranger would repulse me. But it didn't that day. I dropped the kids off at school, and I went straight to the bar."

"Where was your husband?" He asked.

"Screwing his secretary and losing all our money."

"Fair enough."

"We drank a little. And I invited him back to my house. We drank a little more. And then I realized that what I was doing was insane. And I told him to go." Agent Turner looked doubtful... for only a second, "And he kissed me. I kissed him back. He pulled my panties down, and we screwed right on the kitchen table, on the breakfast dishes. The kids had pancakes. Blueberry. If you were wondering. It only happened once. And I've never seen that man again. And I don't plan to."

He stared at her and nodded, "Thank you for coming in."

Beth nodded back and left.

" ?" She stopped on her tracks and turned to him, "Just be careful who you bring into your home."

"I'm tougher than I look." She gave him a small smug smile and left. _Oh, yeah... she was doing this._

Beth arrived home to find Rio's Cadillac park in front, _what the fuck was he doing?_

Beth parked in the driveway and he jumped out of the car with a bag with what she assumed was a new load of cash.

"What are you even doing here? My husband... my children are inside! What if a neighbour sees you?" She asked dreadfully, looking around, once he climbed in.

"I just wanted to know how'd it go with the FBI." He drawled, "It wouldn't hurt to have a witness of our affair, sweetheart."

"Don't worry, I told him you fucked me real good on top of that table." She replied sharply, then squinted, "I thought you weren't worried."

He chuckled, "I ain't..."

 _Yeah, no, he was fucking playing with her… Prick._

"Listen…" Rio sighed and licked his lips. He should have felt triumphant that he'd returned some her poison back at her this morning, but he felt nothin' if terrible. The zap of pain that crossed her eyes, ricocheted straight through his heart. Somehow her silence had made everythin' worse. He knew he had a mean streak, a very mean one, but he wasn't outright cruel. But there was no other word to describe what he'd done. The way he'd treated her, it wasn't how he liked to act. So he came to apologize. "... about this morning. I want to apologize. My words…"

"Were deliberate..." Beth cut him, "When you say something, you mean it. I remember."

Rio gazed at her intently, and despite herself, Beth felt a rush over her blood, when she saw nothing but admiration in his eyes, "Fair enough… I'm sayin', I'm sorry, right now."

"Okay. Anything else?" She asked short, looking straight ahead.

The words started flowing before he could stop himself, "You can't pretend _it_ doesn't exist, Elizabeth." She looked at him confused, "This _tension_ between us two, you can't escape it."

Her words were sharp and angry, "How'd you know? You certainly don't seem to be trying."

He leaned forward, for the second time that day they were sharing the same breath, "Tryin', that's what I've been doin' for the last six years… forget you, erase you… it doesn't work, sweetheart. _I know you can't avoid it, 'cause I can't either."_


	6. If the Past Comes Back to Bite, You Bi

Revisiting the past on this chapter...  
Blind Man and Afraid both by Xavier Omar are the chosen songs for this chapter.

Thank you so much for your continuous support, it means the world.  
Hope you enjoy it, your comments and critics are always welcome.

* * *

_Lucky's, 6 Years Ago…_

In the dark corner of the bar, Rio had his beer midway to his mouth when she walked in. Her blue gaze brushed his, actually, it pierced through him completely oblivious. It didn't take all but two seconds, he scored them with the slow beating of his heart, but the sight of her hit him... raging, burning and deadly. Sweet bane cantering through his veins.

He had developed an evaluating eye from an early age, learned to appreciate the value of things and even more quickly to recognize the worth of someone. In his line of business, instinct was the edge, severing success from failure, death and life. Over the years he didn't need more than a simple glance to determine that worth, but a glance wasn't enough in this case.

The first thing he noticed was her hair, the dim fluoro lights picked up a dozen different hues, from blonde to cerise, her hair shone like rare pink diamonds. She must bath in milk 'cause he'd never seen such flawless creamy complexion before. Her eyes, from this distance, two dark pools in which he would drown voluntarily. Her lips red and lush, made for kissing. Her breasts - what he could see of them in that barely showing but unreasonably teasing cleavage of her classy dress - all he could see was his cock sliding in between those soft milky-white pillows. He ran his eyes over her voluptuous figure as she cat-walked to the bar, oozing confidence, sex-appeal and ambition. The whole of her appealed to him like a moth to a flame. When was the last time he'd wanted something so much? He couldn't recall it… but, never, seemed the right answer.

Rio told the stupid girl tryin' to force her company on him for the last hour to fuck off and willed his arm to his job and bring the bottle of beer the remaining distance to his mouth.

She had barely had her delectable ass seated for five seconds when the first fool tried his luck… and was even more quickly dismissed. Rio smiled as she ordered her drink, the bartender poured bourbon in an old-fashioned glass, neat. A woman of specifics, classic and atemporal. He liked that. Alot.

Rio observed her for long minutes, as she drank her bourbon absorbed in her thoughts, a troubled angel... an unattainable goddess as she dissuaded a white-collar fool with two fucking words and a smile. Whatever she'd said made the man puff red and scramble away with his tail between his legs.

Rio smiled into his beer, still in the shadows as his companions talked and laughed, he couldn't care to keep up, his attention was fully on her. As if noticing she was being intently observed she tilted her head in his direction, her lips parted slightly and her eyes gleamed as he leaned out of the shadows.

His dark gaze meddled with the blue one of hers. There was recognition, some kind of identification he had grasped from her, something implicit exchanged and burned between them, he felt it running white-hot through his spine and tightening his balls.

She was unquestionably gorgeous but it was more than that, and Rio had the intent on finding out exactly what. She broke the contact and stealthily smiled into her drink. Rio didn't need anything else, he ordered two tequilas and made his way to her. She was too damn fine, he was jealous of that tight, curve-hugging dress. Then he saw the leg slit… the creamy expanse left no doubt that her skin was beautifully pale all over. The thought of running his tongue all over her skin crossed his mind and he started to wonder what she would taste like.

Beth was grateful when she got in and the bar wasn't as seedy as she'd anticipated. The clientele was an unexpected mix, perhaps because the alcohol they served was the good stuff. It still reeked of stale beer, the acrid tobacco odour was impregnated in the walls, and after twenty minutes she had given up on getting used to the thick smoke cloud the whole bar was engulfed in, lacking a better option she chose to ignore it. Like she chose to ignore the warning the taxi driver gave her, he would leave - whether she was back or not - when he finished changing the flat tyre. The truth was she didn't want to go home, not when she had so many sour thoughts in her head and she was able to numb them under the haze of alcohol. At least for tonight.

She flicked her wedding band and engagement ring around her finger, using the pad of her thumb. There was a time when those two had meant everything for her, a time where her husband meant all for her. Three kids and many years later, she didn't yearn for that time.

Beth didn't know if it had been all of a sudden or if it crept slowly on her... but one morning she looked at Dean, gave him his packed lunch and didn't say I love you like every other morning. He hadn't either. Then his lips pressed against her cheek instead of her mouth.

That had been almost a year ago and she could count, by her fingers and toes, the times they had sex since then.

At first, Beth thought it was her fault, after Jane, she had herself let go a bit, didn't worry about those extra baby pounds, skimmed on those yoga classes more than she probably should... sometimes she was so tired it was hard to put in more than the effort of opening her legs and let Dean do the work while she yawned and mentally prepared the to-do list for the next day, hoping she could get a full night of sleep for once. Definitely not bringing her sexy on, and she used to have a lot of sexy on, before.

But it wasn't about sex. Beth had figured boredom was a small blip on her life's radar of worries… That between three kids - one still under the age of primary school, and the other still wearing diapers - and her busy days baking hundreds of perfect gluten-free cupcakes, the voluntary cleaning she booked herself at Kenny's school, PTA meetings, the countless committees she'd joined, the playdates plus all the activities and of course, the book club... she wouldn't have the time to succumb to ennui... But these days, nothing seemed quite enough, her brain stimuli remained pretty close to zero.

So she decided to try something new... scrapbooking, the new trend that swept over her circle of mommy's... it left her feeling as dispirited, and a little bit more than antsy. It finally hit her she was missing her job.

She thought all she needed was get back to work, maybe just part-time until the kids got older. But Dean wouldn't like that, nope. Maybe she could help him at Boland Motors... come up with a new tagline, hell... a whole new marketing campaign, 'cause let's be honest… flying pigs and the vroom-vroom-vroom back in your engine? They could do better.

When she brought it to Dean attention, he exploded. They argued like they hadn't before. He shoved her across the room and accused her undermining him, of nothing ever being enough for her. He'd always been insecure, and she was mindful of his need for constant appraisal. That's what Beth did, it was her shtick, she was mindful of everyone else.

She was also aware of his violent father and troubled childhood... but the shove was so uncharacteristic, so unimagined… that Beth was too stunned to even put a word in before he stormed out of their bedroom in fury. Since that day things had turned pretty ugly between them, in every aspect.

For the second time that night, a man approached her... the cheesy line made her cringe.

"Sorry pal, but we both like to dine from the same plate," The confused look on his face almost made her laugh, he was cute and young but she wasn't interested, "I'm gay." She finalized. The guy turned red, mumbled a sorry and walked away, leaving Beth alone with her amusement and her bourbon.

She took a sip. It wasn't like she was looking for anything, it never crossed her mind to cheat on Dean… but it was good to know she still had it, that she was still desired. Beth dared to look at the man in the shadows, she hadn't seen his face, but his masked gaze had been heating her up since she walked in... however, it felt more like a balm than burn.

He leaned out of the shadows, and Beth finally saw more than his broad shoulders and his veiny strong hands. He was striking, very much so… and Beth never found herself attracted by ink, but that neck tattoo was as unexpected as it was appealing. Unexpected, was also the feeling that passed between them as their eyes met. She sensed it, spreading lewd through her, making her toes curl inside the vintage Ferragamo's stilettos that had been her mother's.

Beth broke the contact and smiled into her glass, that's when you knew you had enough drinking for a night, imagining things that weren't there… Perhaps, that was all that she needed - a good session of flirting with a tattoed, dangerously good-looking stranger - before going home and make peace with her husband. _She still loved Dean, right?_

It was hard to come up with a coherent answer while the said stranger was walking towards her as she imagined a tiger would. Stealthy approaching his prey, his air confident, his stride nonchalant, there was no hurry, no... he had the gift of patience, like he had everything planned ahead, like he knew exactly when to stalk his prey and the perfect moment to snatch her away.

Beth swallowed the dryness in her throat, contemplating that, very possibly... she'd chosen the wrong cage to rattle.

He leaned on the counter, so close, that if she took a deep breath they would touch. His eyes were so incredibly dark, they reminded her of the onyx jewellery she'd wanted to buy - but never got to - when she went through her teenage goth phase ( _through,_ wasn't exactly the truth, she'd still wear her steel cap combat boots, rock black nail polish and matte blood red lipstick when and if the occasion permitted).

"What is a good girl like you doing in a place like this?"

 _Good God_... his drawl was so mellow and lengthened… if felt like honey… slowly pouring over her spine. Beth lost her will to talk for a few seconds, and when she talked it wasn't anything of what she had planned to say, "Appearances can be deceiving. Maybe, I'm not such a good girl as I appear to be."

He smiled, her heart skipping a beat as the corner of his mouth lifted, "That's good, 'cause I haven't met a good girl that would drink bourbon like you do."

Beth chuckled and his dark eyes shone with pleasure, "Is that so?"

"Yeah, in fact, sweetheart... I've never seen a _woman_ drink bourbon as you do." Beth didn't say a thing, grabbed her glass and simply sipped. His half grin widened and the tip of his tongue showed as he licked his lips before continuing, "That said... to prove you ain't no good girl, you'll have to drink some tequila with me." He added sliding a shot in her direction.

Beth had to bit into her lower lip to hold the laugh, "Oh, I have to prove myself?"

He pointed to a plaque on the wall behind her, it displayed the words 'No Good Girls Allowed' in flashing neon. _Well, that added to seedy after all_ … Beth couldn't hold it any longer and had to cackle. She didn't know what got into her, it was the perfect excuse to grab her things and make a safe retreat... instead, she grabbed the shot glass and clinked it with his, "I could think of a thousand ways to prove you I'm not a good girl, but if drinking tequila is the chosen one…" And proceded to drown it under the lustful gaze. He raised his glass and mimicked her.

"So, am I safe now?" Beth asked once the burn of alcohol eased through her throat.

He chuckled, "I wouldn't say safe… but in my company, you have nothin' to worry 'bout."

She slanted her eyes, "You don't happen to be the owner of this _fine_ establishment, do you?"

He laughed, "No, no. But what you think? Would it make a good investment?"

"Oh, I would change some things, but there's definitely potential." She offered with a clinical eye.

He signalled the bartender for two more shots, "If taking that neon sign down is one of them, my capital is out already."

Beth laughed, and kept laughing after that and drinking tequila, until she lost track of time and space, until all she could focus was the crooked smile of the man in front of her, until, she suddenly found herself talking about her kids, her marriage, her sister, silly childhood memories… of things she hadn't even told herself. How peculiar it was... him, putting her at such ease when there was nothing but danger oozing from him.

"So, you have this perfect life and come to celebrate it at shabby Lucky's." He raised his eyebrows with cynical mockery.

Beth pursed her lips. It wasn't a question, it lacked the proper inflection at the end, yet she felt the need to produce an answer, "It isn't perfect but I'm satisfied. I've more than I thought I would ever have."

"Nah, that's bull... _you don't have what you want._ What is what you want?"

Beth looked at him disconcerted, "I-I… I don't actually know." She never had time to think about what she wanted, no one asked either… Dean never asked. _What did she want?_ Only one thing came to her mind. "More… of something else. I… that doesn't even make sense. I-I don't know." She brushed it away with laugh.

"Oh, but it does, sweetheart." He drawled cryptically, taking a sip from his tequila. The bartender had left the bottle of Patrón at their disposition a while ago.

Beth giggled as he filled her glass, "This is not how I expected my day to end."

"And how is that?"

"Here. Exchanging confidences with a stranger."

"Okay then... I'm Rio." He said, clinking his glass shot with hers.

"Rio? Like in Rio de Janeiro?" She'd teased him.

"Yeah, 'twas where I was conceived." He shrugged with a charming half-smile making her laugh. "My mother was very sentimental. What 'bout you? I bet you got a lily-ass name, somethin' like Jennifer? Or Mary Margaret? Even better... Elizabeth? Huh?"

Beth giggled nervously, blushing at the fact that he'd actually got her name right, something wicked or maybe it was tequila, made her automatically lie, "No. Actually, you're very wrong. My name is Isabella." Technically it was the Spanish version for Elizabeth, so she wasn't lying-lying, right?

"Isabella? Like the Queen of Spain?" He teased her back, doubt pouring from under his hooded dark orbs. But the way he'd sang the name, with the perfect Spanish pronunciation, made something tingle in her.

Beth laughed delighted, "Yes, just like the Queen. But everyone calls me Bella."

"Nah… I'll stick to Isabella. It suits you." His dark gaze roamed all over her body, unashamedly. "There you go, we ain't strangers no more."

Beth took a sip, trying to shake away the very sensual blanket that seemed to suddenly descend over her, she cleared her throat, "So, _Rio_ … what is it that you want?"

The suggestive twinkle in his dark gaze didn't leave much to the imagination, but his answer did surprise the shit out of her. "A couple kids... and a dog." He shrugged his large frame dismissively, "Maybe one day."

"Why, but that shouldn't be too hard… I'm sure the candidates are tripping over her feet, cutting the line even… A guy like you…"

He chuckled, the lift of his mouth showing the perfect line of white teeth as he raised his eyebrows, "A guy like me?"

"I mean, you're a _very_ handsome man…" Beth stopped talking abruptly and turned pink. _And this is why you don't drink tequila, Mrs. Beth._

"You'd be surprised." He said, propping his chin in his hand and leaning closer, all so casually yet so intimate, "My line of work... not alot of women wanna get involved with it."

Beth felt a shiver down her spine. If it was derived by his closeness or the way the juicy information gleaned by, it remained unsure. Of course, she wasn't blind. He certainly didn't strike as the suburban neighbour next door. And she was pretty much convinced that the bulge on the side of his hip was plausibly a gun. Not to mention the feral demeanour under that expensive suit jacket... there was this clandestine aura about him, something very illicit... and now she was certain, he was a criminal. Oddly, it did nothing but peak her curiosity. _Who was this man?_

She flashed an imprudent smile, "I have this feeling, if you tell me… you'd have to kill me?"

He chuckled, eyes glinting like gemstones, "Somethin' like that."

"You're not gonna tell me, huh?" She tempted him with her sweet smile and a bat of her eyes.

He laughed, "Nope. But I'll tell you this…" His dark gaze held hers intently, "She'd be taken care off. It's high risk, but it grants even greater rewards."

 _Why did it sound like a proposition, and why did it make her tingle all over?_ Beth quickly drank the rest of her tequila, frowning has the large mouthful burned down her entrains. _Good. It should burn more, and bring some sense into her brain._ "At least... getting a dog should be easier." Beth pitied with a quip.

He smiled, that half wicked thing he did with his lips, and drank his shot. Beth's gaze dropped to his neck tattoo, the corded muscle of his throat moving was slightly less mesmerizing than his next words.

"I think, you and I, have alot to offer each other, sweetheart."

The words were chanted like a pledge and melted into her skin. A sudden hurt clawed at her chest, Dean had made so many promises and failed to deliver almost every one of them… perhaps she was being unfair, he was a good husband after all, but only her kids felt like the one thing of worth she'd gotten from him. "I have already been promised the world and as you so well put it earlier... it didn't make me happy."

His response was quick, "I don't promise, I provide."

"What exactly?" She countered.

"Everything."

 _And it was official, her panties were soaked._ Suddenly it was impossible to be so close to him, she was feeling this urge to crawl into his lap and lick those inked lines on his throat. She quickly leaned back with a masked giggle, "My, my… your salesmanship skill is right on point. I don't understand why you haven't fulfilled your dream."

"Maybe I just hadn't found the right woman." He drawled slowly, with purpose.

His hooded dark orbs enslaved her, and for a second there, her heart beat so fast she was afraid it might jump out of her chest and start throbbing away on the counter, next to the bottle of tequila. _May God shield her, 'cause she didn't think she had the strength to resist this man. Worst, she didn't think she wanted to._

"Maybe." She conceded while he poured more tequila.

* * *

"You can't pretend it doesn't exist, Elizabeth." She looked at him confused, "This tension between us two, you can't escape it."

Her words were sharp and angry, "How'd you know? You certainly don't seem to be trying."

He leaned forward, for the second time that day they were sharing the same breath, "Tryin', that's what I've been doin' for the last six years… forget you, erase you… it doesn't work, sweetheart. I know you can't avoid it, 'cause I can't either."

What Beth tried to avoid was the pleasure his words brought her. But found it impossible. He hadn't forgotten her. In his own words, he couldn't.

"And if you really want to have a business relationship, we need to discuss it." He talked and looked as cool as a cucumber but his heated eyes were on her lips, "I don't want to pretend that night six years ago didn't happen. In fact, sweetheart… I'm full of questions 'bout it."

Beth's head rang with alarm. She had absolutely no interest in talking _about it_ , the less they talked _about it_ the better. She was risking everything for this… like he so eloquently put the other day, she couldn't give the cookies back, at this point she was unwilling to do so.

She had made her choice when she hung those pearls on that warehouse door.

Watching him that day, bossing around those people, the self-control he exercised, the casual but assertive way he talked... as if he had already done it a thousand times, and regardless would do it a thousand more... it had fascinated her. Six years ago he'd asked her what she wanted, back then she couldn't name it, now she did... she wanted that. Respect, control, power. And she desperately needed the money that came with it.

So, she picked the only card she had against him and brought into play.

She drowned into those dark orbs and laughed. An aimed shot, straight for his ego. "Questions?" Rio stared at her, jaws ticking. "What questions?" She repeated and laughed again, leaning close to him, "It was a one-night-stand! We do have a chemistry, obviously. But that night… didn't mean anything, was nothing but sex. The morning after I went back to my husband... to my family. And not even once, I thought about it until you showed up in my kitchen."

Undeterred, Rio's mouth formed a tight line, a malicious smile, his cold eyes unreadable, "Oh, I know all 'bout your family… your lovely kids and the husband you ain't in love with no more... you did talk about them. And you can try as you might, but that night wasn't as unmemorable as you want to paint it, sweetheart. I was there, right with you."

And Goddamn him if it wasn't that the truth, and for far more reasons than she was willing to ever share. She held his gaze, determined, and hoped she wasn't giving anything away.

He slanted those dark eyes. It felt like a caress of black velvet over her body and was almost her undoing. "And with this _chemistry_ we share... ain't you afraid that night might repeat itself?"

"No." She replied doggedly, "This business arrangement is temporary."

He chuckled as if her statement was some kind of personal joke, "It always is."

It got her hackles up. "If you can't take a no, perhaps we shouldn't be working together after all."

"Oh, It ain't me you should be worried about." He drawled, smiling seductively, "I see you, Elizabeth. I've recognized you the moment I set my eyes on you, and you may tryna hide it, but sometimes is as clear as if I'd been lookin' in the mirror. We were tarred with the same brush, sweetheart." He cradled her chin firmly, "This cookie cutter housewife shit... it ain't enough for you. It wasn't six years ago, and less is now."

Although she had her doubts about being the same as him, she found impossible to deny any of it, not when she wanted what he had. Instead, her lips plucked a question, and like always when she was with him, was nothing like she had the intention to say, "What do you want from me?"

"Everything."

Beth's lungs seemed to constrict as the coffee brown gaze meddled with hers. Until this morning she thought she had nothing left but an empty shell, glued in place by the concoction she'd developed long ago... pure stubbornness, the little dignity she had left, large quantities of necessity and a dash of hope. But whatever he thought she had to offer, she didn't have it. Not anymore. She was nothing but a fraud. And she was afraid, very afraid... 'cause each time they met he managed to peel a thin layer of that protective concoction away. _What would be of her when she was completely bare?_

At last, she pulled her chin from his grasp and shook her head, laughing dryly, "Well, you can't have it."

"I ain't asking, sweetheart. I conquer what I want. And when I do, _because I will_ , you'll be giving it freely, all of it."

Silence descended over the tension confined car, giving Beth a second to reform her thoughts, "Tempting, but… it's a hard pass. You should try and change your sales pitch, you know… people react better to a promise than a threat."

"If I recall it, you've already been promised the world. How'd that turned up for you again?"

It stung. But Beth knew what he was trying to do, she wouldn't allow the past to bit her in the ass, clenching her jaws, a tight smile spread over her lips, "Goodnight, Rio."

It was the first time she said his name, since that night. Her natural breathy tone, caressed through his ears, reminding him of a wishful morning, the scent of strongly brewed coffee and freshly baked pastry. His veiny hand grasped at her wrist like a vice as she reached for the door handle, "Why did you leave like that?" She looked at him confused. "Don't even try and lie to me, Elizabeth. I saw the note on the floor. You knew I was coming back."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Let go of me." She yanked her wrist to get free but he doubled the pressure instead, pulling her close to him, her arm touching his chest, her skin absorbing his heat.

"I drove all the way to that Dutch bakery, to come back to an empty bed. Your scent was still lingering in the room… I can't fucking get it out of my mind." Beth couldn't even process what he was saying, his lips were so close to hers, she was having a hard time for oxygen to reach her brain, "You were right, those Danishes were delicious…" Beth closed her eyes in anticipation, but the kiss never came to happen. "... I never had something so sweet taste so bitter before."

Her eyes shot open at the snap of the car lock opening, he was already out, "I'll see you in two weeks." He poked his head back in, "Oh, and if you really want a shot at winning this game, I'd suggest you make it harder for me darlin'. If I'd wanted, I could have had you right there. " He winked smugly and banged the door close.

* * *

The tyres screeched as pressed his foot heavily on the pedal. Rio drew a breath to calm himself. That woman would end him. _Sweet Jesus… she was drivin' him crazy._ How could she play that innocent card so fuckin' well on him?

He knew he couldn't trust her. He knew she had more faces than a royal flush.

One minute, she was a seductress, the next a cold bitch. He would close his eyes for a second and she was a wounded, innocent wee pussycat. He would blink again and she would have her claws bound for his jugular.

Was he so under her spell that she could make him drink every word that came from those lush lips - may those be truths or deceits - like they were the nectar from the gods.

He didn't help that he'd been walking around with a semi since this morning. Hell... he was having a brainial erection since he saw her again. The facts were, he hadn't succeeded on forgetting her, try as he might.

There had been other women, lots of women… but none would satisfy him as she had. None could exactly match her hair colour, no other locks felt so soft when he ran his fingers through. None had skin like whipped cream, smooth, rich and pearly. None had that perfect chin dimple so he could poke the tip of his tongue in there. No woman had a lush enough lower lip, or the perfect sized tits that overfilled his hands. But especially... no one tasted like her.

He closed his eyes with a sigh, the moment he first relished in her flavour six years ago rushed through his mind.

 _"Maybe, I just hadn't found the right woman."_

 _"Maybe."_

 _She had conceded while he grabbed the bottle and poured more tequila. All of a sudden her hand darted for his face, her touch was gentle, magical. He stood very still while the warmth from her palm transferred into his cheek, the pad of her thumb ran over his left eyebrow, bringing some sort of order to the rebellious mass of dark crisp hair. On the right one, her fingertips tried all but in vain, there was a tiny scar that prevented any management._

 _It all stopped as suddenly as it started. Her lips parted as she drew a shaky breath, eyes widened in surprise, "I-I'm sorry." She'd mumbled, withdrawing her hand._

 _He caught her wrist before she could break the contact completely, the pads of his fingers caressed the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrist, his thumb circling over her veiny tendons and knuckles, her hand was so small and delicate compared to his._

 _"You wanna know how I got that scar?" He drawled running his palm over the back of her hand until he laced his fingers between hers. Her answer surprised him._

 _"No," She replied huskily, her thumb brushing over his lower lip, "I want you to kiss me."_

 _Her words were like a blazing iron rod to his heart. His free hand curled on her soft copper locks, and he pulled her to his lips._

 _Her mouth tasted exactly as he expected, but better. First and foremost it tasted of tequila, but as he swept his tongue over hers, again and again, it reminded him of strawberries, red and lush, there was a whole lot of tartness provided by that sharp, gritty, tongue of hers but underneath that tartness was a great deal of sweetness._

 _Her moan did nothing but enhance his bare want. It did not hide the drumbeat of their passion, pulsing away against the soft skin of her neck, right under the palm of his hand._

 _He lost track of time, of space, he was intoxicated in her, there was nothing but her. At some point, he must have dragged her even closer 'cause she was now standing in between his legs. He pressed his lips to the crease where her neck and shoulder joined and the hand at her hip curved around to cup her ass, drawing her the closest he possibly could._

 _He hummed, low and deep in his throat. "You wanna get out of here."_

 _It wasn't a question and she looked at him through hugely dilated blue orbs, lost for a second, "I... I-I should be heading home…" She didn't finish, her voice had betrayed her in more ways than one. She knew it. And he saw it in her eye as she accepted it... "Let's get out of here."_

 _Rio held her by the hand, grabbed her purse and coat and led them through the smoke and out to the cold Detroit night._

 _He had to stop and kiss her, just to make sure she was real, and not some hallucination brought by alcohol and hours of breathing the concentrated fumes in that bar. "My car is parked at the back." He mumbled against her lips._

 _"There's a hotel right there." She replied hoarsely._

 _"You deserve more than a rancid road-side motel, sweetheart."_

 _"Fuck me there or in your car, I don't care, I need you. Now."_

 _He groaned as his cock jerked with eagerness in its confines, "I need space to maneuver, to take care of you the way I want, the way you deserve…"_

 _Before he even got the chance to finish his words, she was already pulling him towards the motel reception._

 _He closed the door with his foot, his hands were rendered useless while she slid the jacket lapels over his shoulders and he dropped the keys and her things on the armchair near the door, his phone, wallet and gun followed suit. Unaffected by the sight, she kicked her shoes and laced her arms around his neck. Her body bowed towards him like an offering. He took it. Kissing her lips and unzipping her dress. It didn't take long till they were both naked and falling against the cheap bed linen. He kissed every inch of her skin until he had his mouth over her kernel, lapping at her essence… delicate sweet nectar._

Rio sighed, again. His knuckles tight and white around the steering wheel. He sped his way through traffic without a concrete destination. She still was the most beautiful, the most fuckin' gorgeous woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Her voluptuous, sinful curves would forever haunt his dreams. He would like to spend the rest of his days drunk in her, he never tasted anything quite like it, and he didn't think he ever would. For she'd be forever compared but never rivalled.

He'd talked the big game… of conquering what he wanted. But the truth was he was afraid. He wasn't sure we could walk the talk, not without dooming his heart all over again. He suspected this game they started playing was a losing one, and right from the start.

* * *

Beth groaned in frustration, dropping her forehead over the steering wheel. _Just great!_ A dance wasn't enough for the devil that he was. Nop. Now she had to play his little game too. A game of which she didn't know the rules and had absolutely zero interest in winning and even less in losing. She banged her head against the soft leather a couple of times. The engine of his car roared to life, tyres screeched away with a godawful noise, without a doubt leaving burning strips of rubber behind. _What a piece of shit! God, how she would have loved to hate him!_

It was the tragedy of her life… founding herself unable to hate the men that caused her such pain and brought such misery into her life.

The episode from this morning, in this same car, came to her memory. It wasn't all suffering.

And although her memories from six years ago were fuzzed by alcohol and the passage of time, they were vivid enough to know exactly how good it could be... if she wanted. _She didn't._ How good he could make her feel... if she let him. _But she couldn't._

Although, his accusation perplexed her. There hadn't been any note, there hadn't been any indication of his presence... if you deducted her body. There was plenty of evidence there. Waking up that morning had been a pretty unpleasant experience...

 _Her brain felt like mush, her head was pounding and when she tried to open her eyes, it was like two daggers were driven through her eye sockets. God! Her whole body felt sore, like she had run a marathon and then fallen asleep on her two-seater sofa. Except this wasn't her house and she hadn't run a marathon._

 _She shot up to a seat, way too fast, for her hangover state, "Oh, God! What have I done!?"_

 _Panic flooded every single pore of her body. Flashbacks of bodies fucking - no... not bodies… HERS and someones else - flashbacks of tan skin slapping against her paleness, of a tattoed corded throat and ardent midnight eyes burned her mind. Her wedding band also seemed to burn around her finger. "No, no, no, no…" She whispered through her sandpaper dry throat._

 _She quickly squirmed her naked body to the edge of the bed, legs dangling from the mattress as she fought a wave of nausea. She took deep breaths from her nose until she had it under control. Unfortunately, the spinning of the room didn't stop as she got up._

 _In her fight for balance, she almost tipped the bedside table, everything on top moved precariously close to the edge, she managed to save the lamp by grasping everything in her path under her arm._

 _Still unsteady, she placed the lamp back and picked her dress from the floor, she found her bra in the armchair, her panties nowhere to be seen, she did bother to look. She had to get out of there. She dressed, the best she could while guilt clung at her... What had she done! She had cheated on her husband, that was what she'd done! Oh, God! Oh, God!_

 _She didn't even try to zipper her dress, all the movement or the guilt - she wasn't sure - had made off her stomach a dangerous firepit, ready to spit flames and burn everything in its path. She put on her full-length coat and button up the whole thing with shaky hands. There was no way, given her condition, she could walk in those 4 inches stilettos. She picked her purse, checked her wallet for money, it was all still there, everything was there… at least she hadn't slept with a thief. Panic made an appearance again, her heart jackrabbited in her chest and her head throbbed painfully... She slept with another man!_

 _Grabbing her shoes, she walked away barefooted and disgraced. Not even once looked back._ Had she, she might have seen Rio's note. The one that slid its way from the side table when she tipped it, falling crumpled to the floor, slightly under the bed and forever far away from her line of vision.

After that night, she debated with herself and her guilt, until she decided not to tell Dean about her indiscretion, they were already in a pretty sad state, what good would come from it? If anything that night made her realize she wanted to make things right with her marriage. Beth fixed things, she found solutions, she didn't give up. Good things took effort, right?

Her stupid little bubble popped when a month went by and she didn't have her period. She knew she was pregnant even before that, it wasn't her first rodeo. And there was a negative six chance off that baby being Dean's.

She gathered her wits, got the kids out of the house to spend the day with Annie and told him. It was the first time that she got scared of him.

"When?" He snarled walking back and forth in front of her.

"Lorain's bachelorette party, five weeks ago." She mumbled, focusing on her hands clasping tightly at the hem of her sweater.

With a growl, he smashed a bunch of things in, including a vase that had belonged to her grandmother. She was going to yell at him but when his fist made a hole on the plasterboard of the living room it also made Beth jump scared on the sofa, the fury gleaming in his eye made her realize he was imagining her face.

"Who is he?" He yelled at her.

Tears pooled in her eyes, "I don't know."

"Bullshit! Tell me who he is!" He screamed into her face.

"I don't know!" She yelled back, "It was a random guy at a bar, I don't even remember his name! I don't fucking know, Okay? I was too drunk!"

He snickered, hand running through his face in desperation, "You're a slut! And you fucking disgust me! I can't even look at you right now! Leave. Before I fucking lose it."

"Dean…" She sobbed.

"Get out, Beth! GO! NOW!" He yelled dropping on the armchair by the sofa, head between his knees.

She picked her purse and walked away while tears ran down her face, "I'm sorry, Dean."

She spent the night at a hotel, texted the address to Dean, just in case, and talked with the kids on the phone.

She settled in the strange bed, tossed and turned while sleep eluded her the entire night. It wasn't for the uncertainty of her marriage. Neither for being pregnant with the child of an unknown man, she would love that child no matter what. Not because of Dean's bad reaction, no one was expected to react well to infidelity, she knew she wouldn't. But no, it wasn't any of that... she couldn't sleep because she wasn't sorry, not really.

When Dean showed up the at her door early next morning, looking like he went through hell and back, and pulled her tightly into his arms, the sobs shook her till the core, the tears soaked into the fabric over his pec, but she still wasn't sorry.

She felt guilty, but til' this day, she was still waiting to feel sorry. With a tired sigh, Beth lifted her head from the steering wheel grabbed the bag of fake cash and made her way home through the garage door, stashing the bag out of sight.

Dean was waiting for her. The look on his face an omen that this night could possibly end on even worst terms.


	7. HBIC

"So, how's Sara?" Dean asked.

"Not good. She's on the transplant list." Beth had no intention to stop and chit-chat so she kept walking.

"Did you even went to see Sara? Or you just spent your time having tête-à-têtes with criminals in your car?" His calm but deadly tone stopped her in her tracks. "You're not even willing to give us a chance. Are you?"

"I gave us a chance, Dean... six years of chances. Maybe I just don't want _us_ anymore." She snapped back at him.

An ominous tomb-like silence fell upon them. The tension, packed within Dean's shoulders, made him look twice as terrifying. He might be looking droopy around the edges but there was no flop in his strength. However, Beth was weary of being intimidated. She held her chin high, "Is it now that you hit me?"

His answer was almost as dramatic, "Do you want me to hit you, Elizabeth?" Another silence fell over the two of them, this time short but equally - if not even more - tense, "Because sometimes I wonder."

Dean using her full name sounded inexplicably offensive. He never called her Elizabeth. Ever. The last time had probably been the day of their wedding. But, Rio did. And she did not want to think about Rio. "If you're finished…"

"No, Beth. I'm not finished." Dean said with a grimly determined look on his face, "You're going to tell me about that bounce house guy. Everything."

There was a certain command to his voice, after years of following his every lead automatically she found extremely hard to shake the need to do the same now, but she knew better, "There is nothing to tell that you don't already know."

He sucked his teeth, in that way that made her want to crawl out of her skin and make herself invisible.

"Then you're going to listen…" He snickered, dropped his body heavily on the sofa and lowered his head, cleaning nonexistent tears with the back of his hand. "How can you do this to me? Bring that man into our house? Close to our children?"

Shock covered her features, the completely unexpected but nevertheless truthful accusation, anesthetized her, a weak mumble was all that she could muster, "I-I..."

Dean observed her eagerly, saw the guilt invading her every pore. It was difficult to contain the pleasure from consuming his features. "Don't… lie." He warned, "I saw him in the car… how he leaned to kiss you." He shook his head as if deleting the memory, all for show, 'cause he knew they hadn't kissed, at least not that time. His blood was still on boiling point... there was something powerful between them. He witnessed it, that day in their bedroom. He felt it tonight, even from the distance, observing from behind the curtains while they discussed whatever they were discussing. And he might not know shit about bounce house guy, but he knew everything about Elizabeth Boland. He still had the upper hand and he would do anything to keep it exactly like that.

"When I look at Emma... all I see now is him! Do you have any idea what that does to me? Emma is my daughter! Mine! And you have the audacity to flaunt yourself with him at our front door?" The crocodile tears flooded his eyes and he made sure that she saw them.

Beth sat next to him, "Dean… I… It's not..."

Her alarmed tone contributed to his guilty pleasure. She then extended her arm to touch him and he had to disguise the overwhelming sense of triumph. Evading her touch he scooted away from her and interrupted her, "You don't wanna give us another chance? That's fine. You want to have an affair with him? Do it far away from me and from my children's' home."

Dean got up and Beth grabbed his hand, "Dean, I'm not having an affair. Trust me, I want him far away from me and from Emma… I-It's... complicated…" She choked, it was hard to talk about... anything, she was so used to bottle everything up, and this was Dean. He might resemble the old Dean right now, the one she first met all those years ago, the one she could talk too, the one she'd been deeply in love with. But she hadn't forgotten how he could snap in a blink of an eye, "I-I can't tell you…"

He scoffed and pulled his hand away like he had touched something nasty… it made her feel surprisingly dirty.

"Just because I love you, it doesn't give you the right to play with my feelings." He shook his head again, "All these years… I never took you for cruel."

He then left. Leaving her confused and troubled. Somehow she would have prefered being dealt a fist than this. She knew how to deal with a bruise, a broken bone… she didn't know how to deal with what she was feeling. He had wondered if she wanted him to hit her and until now she'd never fully realized that she did. Taking away her punishment was taking away the penance for her wrongdoing. Dean had discovered the secret ingredient from her protective barrier and snatched it from her. Beth vacillated, but the facts were completely bared and so cruelly in front of her, that it was futile to deny it.

It was the ultimate cosmic joke.

She laughed out loud, bitterly and just a smidgen from hysterical on her way to the bathroom. She and Dean made the perfect pair. Two sick fucks that deserved each other.

She wasn't even thinking when she dug the pills from the back of the vanity drawer. She didn't even care when she popped three in her mouth and crushed the bitter things between her teeth.

She didn't sleep that night. She prepared two batches of Danish pastry from scratch instead. Drank bourbon while the pastry chilled, but was buzzing too much to sit and relax. So did the laundry, scrubbed the crusted dirt from Danny's soccer boots, sew up the tear on Emma's favourite princess dress, puffed the sofa cushions, but still couldn't bring herself to sit. So she scrubbed and wiped clean the tops of her kitchen cabinets, even tho it wasn't anywhere near the time for a spring clean. When ready she took the cool pastry out, cut and shaped blueberry and cream cheese windmills, rolls of pecans and sugary almond meal and finally her favourites, the ones Rio had probably brought her that morning six year ago, little pillow-pockets full of custard and peaches. When she pulled them out of the oven it was near five in the morning. She stuffed one in her mouth, still so hot that it burned the roof of her mouth and the tip of her tongue. It gave her an excuse to cry.

* * *

The swing creaks were getting on Beth's nerves. She couldn't even hear herself thinking, "Please, stop that." She had a shit ton of thinking to do before Rio showed up for their transaction.

"Guys, this place is so familiar," Annie mumbled as she kept swinging. "I'm having, like deja vu."

"Oh, please, stop." Beth asked exasperated.

"Okay!" Annie jumped out the swing with a sigh.

"Just chill. It's gonna be fine." Ruby reassured from her seat next to Beth.

Annie scoffed, "How do you figure, Ruby?"

"We just tell them the job wasn't for us and that we're moving on."

Beth shot Ruby a side glance and clenched her jaws. She hadn't agreed to any of this moving on talk. And Annie was agreeing to disagree. Beth was no saint, but the most breaking the of the law she'd done before was stealing a Black Sabbath CD from JCPenneys electronics department, with Tom McBride's (her first crush/boyfriend/heartbreak) help when she was 15. Already back then she had schemed everything to the detail, the CD was still around the house on a shelf somewhere. She had the conscience to know this was all wrong, that this they were doing was not going away with a slap on their wrists... if they got caught it could have devastating long lasting effects on their families.

"Right, yeah. I'm sure he'll be totally cool with that." Annie said with a bite.

"We didn't sign a contract," Ruby remarked.

It just happened to be that this wrong was also what was keeping their families afloat on a sea of debt and hardship. They weren't hurting anyone. And for once... wrong felt so... _good_. And that was saying something. It was the only thing that she was actively willing to feel in a long time.

"Dude, we've been laundering fake money for a street gang."

"So?" Ruby asked unworried.

As the girls kept their bickering, all Beth could think about was the numbers the oncologist had thrown at her this morning when he confirmed Dean had cancer and explained his treatment options. And the mortgage, due next week… and what Rio might do about their little one-on-one battle if she backed down now. For some reason, she fretted more over that than the other things on the list.

"So it's not a college internship. We can't be like, Thanks, bye, I learned so much. There is no getting out."

"Out of what?"

The drawl coated Beth and warmed her insides, more than the emerald wool jacket she was wearing ever could. She got up to face him, there was no way she was gonna tell him this sitting in disadvantage. Beth cleared her throat, yet no words came out. The neck tattoo stood out from his neck, like a reversed halo under the light post, and wholly revoking all her line of thought.

"We've, um… We've been thinking." Ruby started, "Just about, you know, your whole operation and our small role in it. And we've learned so much."

"But it's not working for us." Beth interrupted, handing him the duffle bag with the real cash.

"How so?" He asked with curiosity.

"We need more."

Ruby shot up, giving her the evil eye and whispering an angry "What?"

Beth disregarded her, "We've been clearing about, what? 100 grand every few weeks for you?"

Rio smirked, that half knowing smile, the one that was making her lower belly froth increasingly faster these days.

"We're gonna need five times that amount to turn a profit and make it worth our time." Beth could feel both Annie's and Ruby's eyes burning holes the size of fists on her back.

"You wanna clean 500 G's?"

"We can do it." She assured with conviction.

"Can we?" Annie muttered softly behind her.

"You don't get more time," Rio warned her.

"It's not a problem." She riposted dismissively.

"It isn't?" Annie uttered with increasing concern.

There was a moment of silence, where they evaluated each other. Where there was no one else present but them and the cold night, the dirt under their feet and the acquainted tension formulating between them. Rio studied her so intently that Beth was fearful he might see past all her layers of skin and bone, and pluck her brain for whatever answer he was looking.

"Go big or go home, right?" She articulated with a conniving smile.

Nevertheless, his expression remained unbiased and unmoving. Beth started to presume he was going to say no. His eyes were unreadable and his lashes were so long that they cast shadows underneath his eyes. Life was so fucking unfair… How was it even possible for a man to have such wonderful thick eyelashes?

"Can I talk to you for a sec… privately?"

He didn't wait for an answer, just walked a bit further away into the trees for some privacy, Beth had no option but follow. He stopped and turned so abruptly that she crashed into his chest… his rock-solid chest.

"Sorry." She quickly mumbled and took a step back.

"If y'wanna touch it you just need to ask, sweetheart." He stated low and rasp.

Beth snorted but felt her cheeks tinge hot. She was glad for the less illuminated area. That was until he took the step she had backed with calculated precision.

She had the impression that when he moved it was as repressed as it was graceful. Not out of indolence, but because he knew it was a misuse of his time and effort. He was even more scrupulous with his words, as he'd warned before. There was this _quietness_ about him... Like everything was carefully assessed and estimated, hushed and smoothly operated. So casual yet so earnest. Everything about him was too much, too intense.

She was suddenly very aware of all eyes on them, and on its own volition, her foot moved backwards, with the intent on putting some space between them.

"Don't make me chase you, Elizabeth." He warned, then leaned close to her ear, his drawl even richer, "You know I will."

They stood underneath a sugar maple tree, the syrupy odour coming from the sap was not enough to cover the sharp metallic scent emanating from him, she quickly associated it with guns. It reminded her exactly how dangerous all this was and although he spoke nothing if gently her foot moved forward, back to its original position.

Smug pleasure filled his dark eyes, "Good girl."

Beth had this urge to throw a little temper tantrum and start stomping her feet in anger. _Prick._

She crossed her arms under her breasts and jutted her chin instead, her way of showing her resentfulness without looking like an overgrown hissy child, "What's this about, I have other places to be."

"On the other hand, sweetheart… I'm exactly where I want to be."

She pursed her lips as he twisted a lock of her hair around his index finger and tried not to burn 'cause right now instead of blood, molten fire ran the path of her veins, "So, do we have a deal or?"

"I don't know, Elizabeth." He kept playing with her hair like he had nothing more important in the world to do and Beth stole a side glance to the audience, which as she already knew, was not missing a beat from their exchange. "You ain't tryin' any funny business, are you?"

"Like what?" She asked meekly.

"Like asking for more than you can handle to piss me off, you know, in hopes I cut you loose from our little game."

"Would you?" She retorted.

"No."

"Then I'm not."

He chuckled, the tip of his tongue lodged itself on the corner of his lips, "Good, 'cuz, either way, I'm coming to collect."

Beth held his stare, but her body was starting to quiver with the effort of holding back the avalanche of emotions. At last, he let go of her hair, a wicked half smile on his lips, "Brought that momma van with you?"

Beth found herself blushing again, that 'momma van' had witnessed alot of action lately. The glistening on his eye told her he was rattling her on purpose. She couldn't find her voice so she nodded.

He relaxed, almost stretching like a big dark feline, somehow it made him look taller and even more dangerous. Then his opened hand flew above her as he shouted, "Load 'em up." She instinctively cowered anticipating a blow.

Beth quickly realised her mistake, he was simply signalling his boys the amount of cash. It all happened so fast, Beth was able to stop her body but was too late to conceal her fear. He looked at her stunned, like she was the one who was about to hit him.

"I... Okay. Bye. Thanks." The words jostled each other out of her mouth almost as fast as her feet walked her out of his presence.

She had to tell herself not to run, to steady her heart, she didn't even stop, just nodded to girls to follow, they reached her car as the big guy - well both guys were big and she didn't know their names, it was the one with the skull tattoo... on his skull. Remarkable. - closed the boot. Beth nodded a silent thanks in his direction and climbed in, Ruby sat next to her on the passenger seat and Annie behind, the sliding door was not even fully closed when Beth drove away at full tilt.

Halfway to her house, between Annie's screened amusement, Ruby's shocked stares and the tense silence, it was all so uncomfortable that Beth felt almost relieved when Annie cracked and finally started laughing.

"Stop Annie, it's not funny." Beth gave her a murderous look through the rear-view mirror.

"Nooo. Not funny at all." Said Ruby. "SO… care to explain?"

"I was thinking about our families…" Beth started only to be straight interrupted by Ruby.

"Huh-uh! That's not what I'm talking about. Care to explain why and when did you rekindle your _relationship_ with the gangbanger?" Annie cackled like a crazed hyena. While Ruby continued unforgivingly, "The family you just mentioned... You didn't think about them?"

"I'm not having a…"

"You have FOUR CHILDREN, Beth!" Ruby continued.

"You don't need to lecture me! I know exactly how many kids I pushed out of me!" Beth snapped at her.

Ruby ignored her, "He is a criminal…"

"So are we…" Both Beth and Ruby clasped their angry gazes on her, "Well… technically." Annie uttered under laugh.

"Let me spell it for you, Rio is a G-A-N-G-B-A-N-G-E-R!" Ruby kept pressing, "I get it, before, whatever happened between you two - of which I'm still waiting for the complete story by the way - it was an accident. But now... What are you thinking?"

"I'm not thinking anything…"

"I can see that!" Ruby quickly interrupted.

"Would you let me talk!" Beth snapped, "Nothing happened, okay?"

"She's lying and blatantly! The other day she came to the hospital all flushed and shit, I bet they did it right here on the back seat!"

"Shut up, Annie!" Beth growled while Ruby gave her a wide-eyed look.

"Who would imagine sensible Beth was so... fiery!" Annie chuckled, "You know who showed up at Fine & Frugal the other day? Tom... Tom Mcbride. He asked about you, eyes all glistening and shit, like he never forgot you. You must have honey puss, sis! Fuck yeh! Bringing all the boys to the yard!"

"Tom dumped me! Not even a month after popping my cherry, prom night of all nights!" Beth frowned, "And what's up with you… Did you take something?"

"Oh my God, BETH! Are you really sleeping with Rio?" Ruby asked.

"NO! I'm not!" Beth quickly denied it.

"Rio and Beth sitting on a tree…" Annie started to chant, "... F-U-C-K-I-N-G, First came the baby, then comes love, then comes marriage, in a golden carriage!"

Beth clenched her jaws, "Ruby!? Would you hold on to the steering wheel for me, please?"

"WHAT?" Beth was already lunging for the back, Annie half screeching, half laughing as her sister went for her hair, "STOP! BETH! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU GUYS FUCKIN' CRAZY? GET BACK TO THE WHEEL, BETH!" Ruby screamed grasping the steering wheel for her life.

"HEY!" Annie screamed feeling a nail dig into her cheek, "Not the money maker!"

"I'm gonna dig a hole… to China... in your head... with my heel, you bitch!" Beth barked, pulling at whatever she could grasp, the seatbelt didn't give much to maneuver.

Annie laughed even harder as she grabbed a fistful of Beth's hair, "Says the bitch to her bitch sister!"

"Get your ass back in here! NOW, Beth!" Ruby pulled her back with her free hand her eyes not leaving the road for a second.

"She reeks of pot!" Beth informed, sitting back with a grunt and running her fingers through her tousled locks, her hat was gone, fallen in combat, probably at the back.

"When did you even have time to smoke?" Ruby asked outraged as Beth finally took the wheel.

"I had a few puffs to calm my nerves before we came to meet them." Annie shrugged.

Beth scoffed, "I just don't give you some more, 'cause I'll probably end up in jail... for murder."

"You will go quicker by sleeping with the gangster. Crime by association!" Annie snorted with laughter.

"Hold on for a minute, Ruby! Now, I'm killing her!"

"ENOUGH! Get a grip! Both of you! I'm not your fuckin' mother!" That calmed things down, "Jesus! Just fucking drive already! We still have to sort the cash."

"Let her have some fun, Ruby! We, Marks, were cursed to only pick trash men, and when we find the good one… puff! We fuck it up!" Annie said, laughing her ass off, "Rio might be a gangster but he is still better than Dean! Git it, sis!"

"My God!" Ruby muttered, "You are having an affair with a gangster, and your sister is a fucking lunatic on pot."

"Yeah! Only you have a streak of saint!" Beth said bitterly. _She was not having an affair!_

Ruby scoffed, "If you take the criminal part, I'm sure I'll be canonized… by putting up with yours and your sister's shenanigans alone!"

"Oi!" Annie popped her head between the front seats, "Can we get some In-N-Out? I'm hungry af!"

There was a second of dead silence, Beth started to chortle at the absurd of all this, soon they all cracked laughing. Ruby was grabbing her belly, Beth's cheeks hurt and Annie snorted like a pig.

"I love the two of you, but man… you bitches be crazy." Ruby shook her head between chuckles.

Beth giggled, "We love you too."

Ruby rolled her eyes, "Don't you sugar coat me! I'm not even close with being done with you, Miss…" Beth opened her mouth to talk, but Ruby didn't give her chance, "BUT… we need to feed this pothead first."

Beth compressed her lips into a tight line, "I know what I'm doing, Ruby."

"I hope you do, 'cause if you let him in he's gonna chew you up and throw you away like used gum."

"I'm not sleeping with him." Beth said defensively.

"And I believe you." Ruby stated. Annie snorted, shaking her head negatively. Beth gave her a warning stare and she chuckled with her hands up in surrender, "We still have to discuss your rogue move from earlier."

"I didn't agree to anything about quitting!" Beth puffed offended.

"Huh-uh! Later, Beth. I'm still too pissed to have a rational conversation with you."

Later when they arrived at her house, after Annie had eaten three burgers like a slob and spilling a large diet coke all over the back seat of her van, Beth still had to take more heat from Ruby until she finally was able to explain the little Secret Shoppers operation she'd been putting together for the last days.

* * *

For a few blissful days, Beth entered a new routine. In the mornings along with her Yasmin, fish oil capsule and the multi-vitamins tablet, she started to add a quarter Oxy pill to boost her morale. Her little army of shoppers was well train and polished, everything was gliding smoothly and to a clock's precision, Beth had carefully seen to it.

She bypassed - albeit hardly - all Rio thoughts which persistently and eloquently stumbled by her mind. While the kids kept her busy and bubbly, with her husband, things had entered a confusing new dynamic. Dean was avoiding her. And when he couldn't, he would treat her with such coldness that she might as well be talking to an iceberg. And that left Beth kinda perplexed. Dean might be a lot of things but he was never indifferent to her. She should be grateful to be left alone but it was starting to make her nervous instead. Dean off his usual trends… it wasn't a good sign.

As if a prediction, things started to go south that day. Tyler lost all the merchandise, leaving them with a twenty thousand dollar pickle to deal with.

Inspired by her teen CD theft, (Beth had distracted the security guy, by innocently triggering the alarm while Tom calmly left the store with the cd under his bomber jacket), Beth came up with the simple solution, they didn't need the money, they just needed to "reclaim" the merchandise and return it.

It was easy as taking candy from a baby and a fair bit more exhilarating. Beth smiled as she got home, digging out the dark hair wig she'd use as a disguise from her purse, still amazed by how good she felt when doing this kind of stuff. Dean's voice scared the bejesus out of her.

"How was the meeting?"

She quickly padded the wig back in her purse and walked to the dining room. Beth evaluated him from the doorless frame, trying to get a grasp of his humour, he sat by the table with a whiskey and his wedding ring clattered away, spinning over the table top. "Mrs. Rubin's on a tear about trans fats in the cafeteria again."

"That woman needs a hobby." He said placing the ring back on his finger.

Beth chuckled, "I know. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Maybe after you can tell me why you stole a car and ditched it in a lake."

He stuck it in so casually that Beth was at a loss of words for long seconds, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. _Fuck._

"Wanna sit down?" He bowed to the empty chair in front of him.

Her "No," was uttered so meekly that even Beth herself had a hard time recognizing her voice.

Dean chuckled dully, "The FBI guy, he came back."

It felt like an ice-cold shower descending over her head, "What did you tell him?"

"Uh, I told him that I cheated on my wife…" He paused to finish the rest of the amber liquid in his glass and clear his throat, "And… that she freaked out so she took my car on a joyride and trashed it after she went on a mini Canadian shopping spree."

"Did he buy it?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Oh, good." Beth sighed, closing her eyes with relieve.

"I don't. So... What the hell were you doing?" He asked showing anger for the first time.

"It's hard to explain."

"Isn't everything hard to explain for you lately! How about you try, uh?"

"I… I…"

"Were you smuggling drugs?"

"I didn't know what it was." She replied softly.

"How do you not know? You stole a car and went over the border with something illegal inside of it." With each word his tone was growing louder until he was shouting at her, "You-you could go to prison for that. We have kids."

She shouted back, "We needed the money and we needed it fast! And I didn't know how else to get it."

"Maybe you get a job."

"It was a job!" She returned irked.

"I meant, like, Panera or something." He yelled back.

How dared he? If it wasn't for his carelessness, they wouldn't be in this situation, "Don't yell at me."

"Sit down!" He demanded with equal anger.

"Don't yell at me." She repeated waspish.

"SIT... DOWN!" He pointed at the chair, each word said firmly, precisely and dripping wrath. His face twisted by fury. Beth stared at him, familiar fear clung at her, sucking her will to fight like a leech. She dropped heavily on the edge of the chair, just in case, if she had to make a quick retreat. But what came next was completely out of character.

"Was it that bounce house guy? I mean, did he put you up to this?" He asked softly.

Beth almost laughed, "What?"

"You know, those guys, they just they prey on good, innocent people. They just rope them in." Beth just blinked, struck speechless, "I mean, is that what happened? Or…"

Of course, Dean would think she was a dough-headed pliable doll, completely under the wraps of the big and evil gangster. It shouldn't hurt, he never really knew her, but incredibly it still took a bite out of her pride. The least she could do was play the part. She nodded softly until she could find her voice, "That's exactly what happened."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." His relieve was papable, the hot breath from his massive sigh reaching her cheeks, "So that's why he was meeting you?"

Beth nodded again, her expression was blank and forcibly controlled, if a bit shaky... which Dean took for fear. But Beth wasn't shaking from fear, inside… inside Beth was screaming. Screaming her outrage and frustration. Abruptly a Machiavellian reflection touched her like the light of a thousand suns... there was nothing to be frustrated about, this was actually _perfect_.

"Look…" Dean said, "Everything's gonna be fine now."

"Okay." She replied softly, like the bonehead he took her for.

"I'm gonna take care of this." He reassured her, "Nothing bad is going to happen to us. Okay?"

She even managed a smile this time, "Okay."

"Just stay away from that guy."

"Okay." She repeated as hollow as before. He got up and walked away, "Dean…" He stopped by the door frame, "Thank you." She added softly and for good measure.

Once he left, she grabbed his glass and poured herself a hefty portion off whatever he had been drinking. Yes, Dean… Thank you! She sipped with a smile.

Later that night at the drop-off, even when Rio didn't give her more than a passing look, she was feeling so high spirited that she had the audacity to ask him how he avoided getting caught. He merely compelled, however, she didn't understand more than a few words of his rhetoric on flipping games and ended up his rant basically insulting them again. Then to her complete surprise, he offered to up the amount of their next drop. Beth raised her scepticism with a staggered, _"Why?"_

His dark coffee eyes had roamed her body, the corner of his mouth gently lifted as he walked away, _"'Cause you delivered."_

It had boosted her higher than any pill ever did. Her heart boomed in her chest, beating hard against her ribs. It was like she had been thirsty for centuries and he just happened to give her a refreshing glass of water, teasing her with the map for the fountain.

Their exchange from six years ago emerged, uninvited, from its little storage compartment kept in the darkest part of her brain.

 _'I don't promise. I provide. Everything.'_

The thought scared her as much as it thrilled her.

It scared because she wanted that fountain so bad it hurt. It scared because she was trying to move away from her sick co-dependent relation with Dean. And she would prefer to roll her naked body over broken glass than to live conditioned from someone else ever again. She didn't want anything but be by herself. Independent. Free from Rio's pull and Dean's abuse. There was no election between those two ends, either way, she would bleed the same.

So Beth came up with her six-month plan and her honey pot. Decided to avoid Rio completely. And deal with Dean like she was an airhead he could control with his pide piper song. Six-months, that was all she needed.

Unfortunately, she blew it straight away with Dean. Arriving home to find the locks changed and Dean letting her know that poor Fred had to stay away from his newborn twins so he could be home earlier, that she had nothing to worry because she was under his watch. Fucking ridiculous. Beth had never felt more empowered than when she dropped 750 G's on top of his dumbass head.

 _'You have no idea what I have done or even who I am. And that little wifey of yours who lived to make you dinner has left the building, and she is not coming back… Yeah, I did forgot the milk. And let Fred go back to his babies. I'm not afraid of the dark.'_

His face had been so priceless that Beth wasn't even a bit sorry she'd flopped her cover.

After that Beth was on a roll.

Dean had no idea what to make off it, her 'book club' and the Christmas colour coded stacks of cash. His suppositions had been hilarious and she'd even seen him casting scared and confused looks in her direction when he thought she wasn't watching. And it was good that he was at least a bit afraid of her... because at this stage and moment Beth didn't put it behind her being capable of dropping _that_ sledgehammer over his head, or stick a _real_ knife deep in his chest. Her rage and hatred for her husband had been brewing with alarming consistency. Almost the same consistency her secret shopper army was.

Their operation had blown to such extent that her six-month plan might be reduced to a four-month one… if she wanted. Beth was finally enjoying swimming in the pool instead of trying just to keep afloat. It was nice to have a view from the top. To take an almost full breath without feeling dizzy.

She even indulged in herself. The white gold, 14 karats, emerald cut necklace had caught her eye as soon as she entered the jewellery. She still mourned the loss of her pearls, they had been her great-grandmother's, and once more she wondered what Rio had made of them. She kicked herself mentally for thinking of him again. Anyways, she had to be smart about her money and spending a quarter of her monthly mortgage in a piece of metal with shiny stones - even if it looked stunning against her neck - wasn't smart.

But then the sales assistant made the terrible mistake of mentioning her husband, that she would happily set it aside if Beth gave him her card. _Bitch, please_.

She opened her wallet and got her C-notes out, "My husband can't afford this." _But she could._

* * *

It wasn't exactly a surprise when she felt a dark presence behind her a Saturday morning. She tensed up like a bowstring but didn't turn, she wasn't ready to face him just yet. Although, she had been expecting something like this since she had been failing to show her face at their meetings for almost three weeks, leaving Annie and Ruby to deal with the drop-offs.

The cash was rolling so fast that they had to book weekly meetings, she had patronised the first ones, but soon it became too obvious that seeing him that frequently, bear his witty remarks, heated looks, sometimes even a light touch, but mostly the unceasing electrical discharge between them, was producing toxic effects on her. So she stopped going.

She knew she had to get back into it eventually, she'd just hoped for a bit more time to lick the burns he'd embarked on her soul. She certainly wasn't expecting him to have the balls to show up at her house in plain daylight and with her kids on the toll.

"You're avoiding me. It hurts my feelings, sweetheart."

She had missed his drawl, and it shot straight to her core, making wicked things happen to her body. She clenched her jaw and turned around.

"You can't show up at my house like this! My mother in law will be here in any second now. What I'm supposed to tell my husband when he finds you in here? Oh, hey, honey! Don't mind the man with neck tattoos hiding behind the curtain?"

He licked his lips, mirth made his dark orbs glisten like onyx, and the sexy half-smirk she'd missed dearly showed. It was an arrow aimed for her heart and she was caught in the open, without a protection. "Tell him what you told the FBI. That should set it straight and since he's not even sleeping in your room, I don't see the problem."

Beth snorted. How the fuck he knew Dean was not sleeping in their bedroom was a mystery, one that she didn't even want to solve, "Very funny! Seriously... I don't take gladly you showing up uninvited."

He got close to her. Really close. "Why is he even here? You should kick his sorry ass out of your house."

The heat emanating from his body reminded her of those pole heaters you'd found on outdoor cafe's and bars during winters, it was impressive. And she was suddenly aware she was only wearing the ratty oversized t-shirt she'd use for cleaning duty and some of her oldest undies, with a loose waistband that should probably be more suited to be in the trash bin than anywhere near her private parts. _God fucking conserve her! Skimping her monthly waxing was quickly turning into the worst idea she'd ever had._

She smiled sweetly, "It just doesn't grasp your mind that I might not be interested in you, does it?"

"I know you ain't in love with him."

"He's sick..."

"I know he's insane... for sure." He'd cut through her, more than with his words. His eyes were burning holes on her already tattered t-shirt, "Add ignorant and shallow to the mixture too. I'd never seek greener pastures if I had you home. Mamí… tù aquí tan hermosa y así de caliente."

Her Spanish was as rusty as a buried relic, but she understood enough for her heart to pulsate near her throat, almost dully - He was literally killing her here - While other parts of her started fluttering intensely. She chose to ignore it, _she had to_. How did he know that Dean had cheated on her yet another mystery, and this one she wanted to uncover even less than the previous.

"... I don't need to be ostracized from the PTA board for kicking him out of the house while he is fighting cancer. Half of my neighbours already think I'm having an affair, so I'd appreciate you'd leave before someone sees you."

He chuckled, "Sometimes I forget how basic bitches can be as ruthless and vicious as any thug." He shook his head, "You shouldn't care, Elizabeth. You don't belong there."

Beth snorted offended, "Not long ago you called me a basic bitch."

"There ain't nothin' basic 'bout you… in fact sweetheart, you baffle me. I want to pick your brain just as much as I want to pick your sweet pearl."

His big tan hand came under the hem of her t-shirt, resting on her hipbone, his fingers hooked into her skin, right under the loose waistband of her panties. Beth almost jumped to the top of her kitchen island, the heat wave spreading through her was that intense. The cleaning rug in her hand was crunched tight between her fingers as he pulled her closer to his body.

"I just didn't take you for a coward. You think you can outlast the game by hiding away, sweetheart?" His hooded ardent eyes were like melting pots of dark swirling chocolate, "I told you before and I'm telling you one last time... you can't avoid this." His other hand cradled her jaw, his palm was calloused, almost gripping at her soft skin, and a faint metallic smell assaulted her nostrils along with the clean and musky native scent of him.

Her treacherous body arched into his heat, her braless breasts adhered to his hard chest. She searched her empty brain for something to say… _her brain empty?_ She didn't like that, she liked to keep her mind busy, white-noised and doped. Each section compartmentalized, labelled and air-tight sealed, like one of those heathen scrapbooking projects of hers. Ready to use when she needed it, else, she never stopped thinking, deducing and philosophizing about the fundamentals that composed her newfangled life and her old one too. She finally found her voice, nevertheless almost breathless, _"This career_ is temporary… six-months… then we'll never see each other again..."

He chuckled, "We'll see about that when the time comes."

"... I'm not a coward, I'm not hiding. I have a whole other life, one that you're not a part of."

"You sure I ain't?" He smiled undeterred, "Tell me... Who do you think 'bout at night when you lay alone in bed? Who touches you as I do? Who can give you everything you need like I can?" His thumb ran the rugged surface of her lower lip. Beth took a shaky breath, as he pressed his finger into her mouth, "You're lying to yourself if you think you can make this about business. You really think you can keep us just platonic?" The rough pad touched her tongue, the taste was sharp and peppery, with a definite metallic flavour. _Gunpowder_. Her nipples tightened painfully as he let out a pained sound. "Nah, sweetheart. The only way out is to let this fire run its course."

Something wild and dark took hold of her. She latched on his thumb, sucking it with wicked pleasure and letting go with a loud pop that resonated through the whole kitchen, "Even if we both burn?"

The hand on her hip glided to cup her ass, his erection bulged against her mound as he drew her closer, his drawl was as rough as the avalanche of emotions hastening by her, "I'm counting on that."

His lips met hers… and then she was burning. He must really be the devil, cause Beth never felt such inferno before. His tongue incited the flame. His palm branded her backside. The fingertips over her jugular heated her blood to a boil. Her body melted like glass in a furnace, moulding to his. A moan erupted out of her throat, and a flood gushed hot between her legs, lava out of a volcano.

"Mama!?" Emma's voice and footsteps echoed within her brain. Rio was already two strides away, leaning against the counter but breathing heavily.

"Mama… Oh! It's you!" Her blue eyes widened with delight at the sight of Rio. Beth was still trying to recover her composure when she beelined straight for Rio, arms clasped tight around his legs, "You came back!"

He chuckled and ruffled her piggytails, "Hey there, kid."

She tugged at his shirt and Rio leaned down immediately, her arms rounded his neck and Rio lifted her with ease onto the isle counter, while Emma placed a wet kiss on each of his cheeks. The same way she did to Beth every morning, a sharp pang thorned her gut.

"Look at your new tooth. And what are you eating, bunny? Tons of carrots? You've grown like, this tall." He made an exaggerated distance by extending his long arms.

Emma laughed with joy, "I have another one loose." She added proudly. Showing him exactly which one it was and he listened with interest, his features relaxed and the sweet smile on his lips was nothing like she had seen before. There was a connection, impossible to forge in such short time, blood chanting to blood, perhaps.

Beth observed their exchange with fear close to the edge. Father and daughter. There was no denial when they were right in front of her. No excuse. Beth had stolen from both of them. A bite of jealousy suddenly pierced her heart, leaving pitch black indentations, and spreading the green poison through her veins. She listened to Emma babble from a distance, it was as if she wasn't even there. Beth observed all of it like a stranger in her own home, excluded by her own daughter. Her hand clutched at her twinging chest, closed tight.

"… maybe you could scare the monster under my bed?" Emma said sheepishly.

Rio shifted as if noticing Beth for the first time, "I don't know, bunny. Maybe you should ask your Dad."

Beth swallowed her resentment, "Rio is a very busy person, sweetie. And he was just leaving."

Emma turned her huge blue eyes to her as if she was a disgusting bug that had landed on her ice cream, "But, but…" Her lower lip started quivering, and she saw Rio soften like butter over warm bread. She already owned him.

His head snapped to her and he was asking permission with his eyes, Beth found impossible to deny it. She nodded with a constricted throat.

"Maybe I could spare a couple minutes and chase that monster, what do you say bunny?"

Emma shrieked with happiness, the pout disappearing as suddenly as it had surged, she jumped from the counter, landing like a graceful cat. Certainly, something she'd had gotten from Rio, because Beth had the flowing grace of a duck… out of the water. Emma quickly grasped his hand and pulled him along.

Beth followed them closely into Emma's pink bedroom. Dying a little inside with each interaction she beheld. Feeling that by denying Rio the knowledge of Emma, she'd lost something too. "Please hurry. Dean will be here soon…" She trailed off.

Rio nodded with a tight jaw. Dean Fucking Boland… Nothing had felt right about that men when he first met him. After Beth's reaction the other night, and certain behaviours, a red flag had been raised in the back of his mind. So he had let loose his dogs, and they've been sniffing around his rot for the past weeks. So far... he came out clean as a whistle. Almost.

Besides a couple DUI's, years ago, the guy was an exemplary citizen. He paid his taxes, owned a hybrid, and a membership to Sports Illustrated. He also had an extensively travelled and wandering dick. Which Rio couldn't even begin to understand. Besides dropping the ball hard the past two years, he wasn't nearly good at his car business. Proof by leaving his family with such huge pickle, if Beth hadn't stepped up they would be sleeping in the street. The best way to describe him... a mediocre good-for-nothing. Beth and her kids deserved better. So much better. And there was still plenty of dirt to dig through.

Rio made a quick job out of scaring the monsters away, he even checked the closet, _just to make sure_ , to Emma's absolute delight.

 _He would have been a great father._ That was all Beth could think about. She had grasped and kept his dream to herself. Perhaps he had children she didn't know about. What did she know about his personal life after all? But a bothersome tiny voice warned her that she couldn't keep this secret. Not after what she'd just witnessed.

Kenny appeared in the door frame pulled by Emma's laugh no doubt, then Danny, then Jane. Beth had no choice but make quick presentations to the curious children. Rio was at ease if a bit embarrassed by all the attention. When Kenny asked if he could help with math again, Beth snapped out of her misery. "Rio was just leaving guys, maybe another time."

"Yeah, maybe another time we can finish what we started." He served Beth with a wicked half-smile.

Beth felt the blush rising from her toes to her hair follicles. God _._ Even with her children present, he wouldn't stop his innuendos.

He followed her downstairs, not before ruffling Emma's head again. And just in time for the front door to open. Beth gasped with horror. Her bedroom was the closest area with a door, so she shoved him inside and closed the door behind her.

He had the audacity to chuckle, "Should I hide behind the curtain or under the bed, sweetheart?"

Beth snorted and pressed a finger to his lips, listening with attention. Heavy steps. Dean's steps. She quickly pulled Rio inside the master bathroom and locked the door behind them, hastily opening the shower taps full on. Rio was leaning against the door, smug smile on his lips, he nodded to the shower, "You scrub mine, I'll scrub yours?"

Beth wished she could hit him with the towel rack right there. "Quiet!" She muttered.

He pulled her into his body just as Dean entered the bedroom. Lips and teeth nibbling at her jaw and Beth almost hissed as his hands glided over the curve of her buttocks, grasping at the round masses and grinding her against him.

"Bettie?" Dean shouted.

Rio's head shot up from her neck, eyebrows raised, he mouthed 'Bettie', then shook his head with disdain, as if shortening her name like that was a sin. And Beth would never tell him but she hated it too.

"I'm in the shower, Dean."

"Oh, uh, my mother is here."

Rio playfully poked his tongue in the corner of her mouth. _By the love of God! She was gonna kill him._ Beth tilted her head away from him, only for him to start a perverse assault on her chin dimple. Beth huffed and puffed, exasperated almost by the same amount as she was thrilled.

"You okay in there?" Dean's voice came just from the other side of the door.

"Y-yeah. I'll be out in a minute." She shouted, digging her nails in Rio's shoulders.

"Okay. We will be waiting."

Once she heard the door close, she punched Rio in the shoulder only to hurt her hand, he was hard as steel, "What is wrong with you?" She barked.

He just laughed not giving her even an inch to scope, "Come on, mama." He drawled, sweet and long and just the way she liked. A pang of need scorched her lower belly, "I know you loved every second of it."

Instead of giving in to her deepest desires, she unlocked the door and pushed herself away, hands over his pecs. He let her go as soon as she squirmed against him. "Don't show up at my house like this again."

"If you show up at our meetings I won't have a reason to." He simply stated, walking towards the french doors that led to the backyard, then abruptly stopped, hand over the handle and looked at her so fiercely that her knees threatened to buckle, "Elizabeth… You can't keep running from this... not for long. And there is no place, either in this world or the other, you can hide… 'cause I'll follow you, I'll find you and I'll never let you go."

Beth entered the shower fully clothed, or as clothed as she was with a ratty t-shirt and old underwear. She was raw, almost bare. He took a large chunk of her today. She didn't even know why or what she was fighting for. She had confessed herself conquered the day he first kissed her, after six years, so coldly and calculated. The day he'd stirred her dead empty soul into a smouldered gentle glow.

Today she finally grasped why he cared so much in winning her back. It wasn't his hurt ego. Or even the intoxicating passion. He simply didn't understand her. Couldn't paint a complete picture of her. She intrigued him. An unfinished puzzle of which he was missing a piece.

And for a man like him, so dominant and ruling, uncertainty was a compelling fixation he had to overcome.

And that was exactly why Beth was clinging so tightly to her losing hand.

When he completed the puzzle, he would see that the pieces never quite matched, that they were chopped and forcibly put together so she could fit the mould.

She didn't want him to see the complete picture of her, because when he did, Beth was absolutely sure he would loathe what he saw.

When the veil of intrigue was lifted, he would see that she wasn't worthy... of anything.


	8. Tick-Tock's And Broken Clocks

_Six years ago..._

 _Her hands slid over his shoulders, underneath the lapels of his jacket, that by its distinctive plaid interior could only be Burberry. Only by the tasteful gold chain around his neck, nice Rolex around his wrist, and the interesting ring on his pinky, Beth had already sensed he had to be well placed financially. Although they could very well be knock-offs… but there was something about him that told her, nothing he was wearing or saying would be fake._

 _He quickly closed the creaky motel door with his foot, his hands were busy with her own jacket and purse. Beth pulled at his lower lip with her teeth. The groan, uttered from the depths of his throat, made her nipples tighten to the extreme of pain, begging for the attention of his calloused hands._

 _As if reading her mind and body he dropped everything over the chair by the door. She wasn't surprised when a polished golden gun was unholstered from his hip. No. Instead, it made her blood flow even faster, and her core clench with need. She kicked her shoes with urgency, as the jacket slid from his shoulders to fall over the worn carpeted floors._

 _She arched into him and his hands cupped her breasts, Beth moaned down his throat as his tongue waltzed with hers. Hands skimming through her ribs he reached her back, unzipping the dress. She squirmed her way out of it, to stand only in lingerie. A simple black lace and satin set, nothing special, and like her mum bod, it had seen better days. But the fire raging in his eyes was telling her otherwise. Too turned on to be self-conscious, she unclasped her own bra while he took care of his henley shirt. She barely had time to appreciate the sculpted elegance of his lean body before he crushed her into his solid chest._

 _A feverish heat seemed to blind her at the skin to skin contact. Beth had never felt this all-consuming need. She wanted to be everywhere, to melt and be absorbed under his skin and by the way he was kissing her, he wanted to ingest her just as much._

 _Her hands glided over his corded back, till she found his tight ass and gave it a playful squeeze. He pinched and tugged her nipple in response. Beth tilted her head back as the moan vibrated his way up her chest, "I need you. Inside me… as in yesterday."_

 _He chuckled against her neck, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart. But you gonna have to wait a bit longer. I've been waiting all my life for a taste of you."_

 _Impossibly, Beth's heart slammed even harder in her chest. He cradled her face and kissed her fiercely. His tongue toured_ _all of her mouth, gently prodding and exploring like it was in search of her very own soul._

 _By God! What was this?_

 _Beth didn't have time to reach a conclusion because he was undoing his fly, and his thick and velvety cock was soon throbbing magnificently against her lower belly. He urged them towards the bed, yanking her panties down on the way. They clumsily stumbled their way out of the rest of their garments and feel into the bed. Both quivering with the utmost need, chests heaving as their lips and bodies attained._

 _True to his word he tasted every inch of her. He started with her face, kissing her eyelids, licking her cheeks, poking his tongue in her chin dimple, all while he dug his big hands into the soft strawberry curls of her hair. Then down until he found her breast and latched urgently on her hard nipple. Her moans filled the room as a hot gush streamed down her kernel, her hips bucked in search of his cock nestled against her inner thigh, the need to be filled oppressive. "Please, Rio."_

 _He groaned over her tit, but had mercy on her. Bringing two fingers over her entrance, he circled her slick folds with the expertise and patience of a master, keeping her on the edge._

 _"Fuck, sweetheart… fuckin' delicious and I ain't even tasted it." He drawled, raspy and long, carrying the vowels in a stream of velvet over her feverish skin, while his thick fingers stretched her insides._

 _Beth thought she was the one going crazy, but they were dancing to the same fervent song... his cock throbbed, smearing pre-cum all over the fat tip and the soft skin of her inner thigh._

 _"Oh, please, taste it." She invited, opening herself to him completely and unashamed._

 _With a restrained fire swirling in his obsidian eyes, Rio spread her petals like she was a delicate rose. His dark head swooped and he took her bud in his mouth._

 _Beth bloomed instantly. Her back arched, her toes curled, her hands grasped tightly at the harsh sheets, all while her lips cried his name into oblivion._

 _Rio drank her rich nectar like he'd been thirsty all his life. Her flavour and scent were so potent that his own seed threatened to spread, eager to fertilize in her sultry soil._

 _He lapped at her until she was renewed, until his own need was so unbearable he thought he would combust into flames, until she begged again, "Rio! Oh, please! Please!"_

 _Rio slid between her thighs and captured her mouth, it opened for him as readily as her core._

 _She snapped her head back, eyes closed, her mouth slightly opened, lips red and swollen as he pressed the tip of his cock into her warmth._

 _"Sweetheart, look at me." He commanded and her dilated eyes focused on his. Only then he moved. Hand clasped on hers, fingers entwined, he filled her slowly, so slowly it was almost torture as it was a pleasure._

 _Beth gasped, unable to take the last inch of him, her nails dug into the back of his hand and tricep._

 _Rio cursed under his breath. A consuming frenzy was claiming his mind, he just wanted to ram into her. Instead, his arm encircled her waist, arching her lower back so she could take all of him._

 _"Oh… Fuck!" She moaned._

 _Rio held still by sheer will while his body and mind screamed at him to possess her. They were both quivering and panting as a light blanket of sweat pearled over their sublimely fused bodies. He dropped his forehead to hers and kissed the tip of her dainty nose._

 _"You good?" He asked raw, uncertain if he would be able to stop even if she wasn't. Gladly she uttered a yes, as out of breath as he was._

 _God, what was this he was feeling?_

 _He'd never seen a more beautiful picture. Her hair spread like a fan, a pinkish red-blond hue against the white pillowcase. Her pale skin so beautifully contrasting his darker one. Lush womanly curves for lean corded muscle. Her body perfectly formed for his, inside and out. With her eyes branding into his soul, deep blue, Rio started moving, paced, 'cause she felt too good to end so soon. Each thrust, harder and deeper, and each time she met him halfway._

 _That's when he knew… he would never have enough of her._

* * *

After Rio's escape, Beth quickly showered and threw the ratty underwear in the bin. While she dried her hair, she made a pledge to herself, to never be caught in the raw like that again. Not if she wanted to keep what was left of her sanity.

When she reached the kitchen, her mother-in-law was already hands on over the roast Beth had pre-prepared.

"You should be enjoying your grandchildren, not working yourself in the kitchen!" Beth teased placing a kiss on the older women cheek.

Mary patted the hand over her shoulder and scoffed. "Please, like putting a tray in the oven is work. You look beautiful as always." She added truthfully.

Mary Ann Boland was an adorable lady. A real lady with piled-up fluffy ash-blonde hair, who wore pink cardigans and brooches. A lady with a soul as tender as her son's was callous.

Their relationship had always been mother-daughter like, more so when Beth lost her own mother so unexpectedly. She'd been there for Beth, in the good and the bad. She was there holding Beth's hand as she pushed her babies into the world. She'd iced bruises while offering a sympathetic ear. She was the one who took care of her and seen to her children when Dean left her bedridden. Beth was like the daughter she never had, the woman she hoped would keep her son on track and make him a better person. Beth had failed her miserably.

"Thank you. Why don't you go find those pesky kids and let me take care of the rest." Beth smiled, already getting the things to prepare a salad.

But Mary lingered in the kitchen, teetering, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything good." Beth lied automatically but the look in the older woman's face told her she wasn't buying it for a cent.

"Dean told me you guys were facing another hitch…" Beth stiffened up, straight as an arrow. She already knew what her mother-in-law was going to ask next, "He was violent again, wasn't he?"

There was an almost wishful tone to Mary's voice. Beth clenched her jaws, and the knife in her hand equally hard, only imagining what the woman must have suffered at the hands of her own abusive late-husband and live to see her son transform into a shade of his father. Beth thought of lying, but Mary knew Dean better than anyone.

Beth dropped the knife on the chopping board, deciding not to deny neither confirm it, the woman had had enough suffering in her lifetime, "I… Dean has been really good… for a while now. It was a misunderstanding… I..."

Mary leaned forward placing a hand over Beth's shoulder, "Beth… look at me."

The time spotted hand squeezed her shoulder gently and Beth found herself looking into the older woman blue eyes, the same exact hue of Dean's. "We all make mistakes. God knows I am at fault here... I should have picked up that phone and called the police a long time ago, but he is my son." The woman's eyes welled with tears. "You are a mother too, Beth. You can still fix this, the biggest mistake you are making is staying. Pack your things, pack the kids and leave."

"Mary… I…"

"Are you waiting for Dean to hurt you badly enough? Or waiting for him to hurt the children? Is it then when you're leaving?"

Beth squared her shoulders, "Dean would never hurt the children!"

"I have flash news for you, dear… my husband never touched Dean either, look how mangled he is."

Beth found herself appalled at the thought, "I… The kids have never seen anything…"

"Perhaps. But aren't you just idling the inevitable? Will you want to have this same conversation with Kenny's wife, the day she shows up at your doorstep with a busted lip? Do you want to indoctrinate this message on Danny? Jane, thinking its okay to suffer abuse in silence? Emma... learning that living in fear it's the normal?" Beth was completely floored, "I did that to my children. You won't want that for yours. You have my complete support, honey. I'll do what I can, I'll help you financially, you can come and stay with me… but first, you have to help yourself here. Time is up, Beth."

Beth had the most utter respect for Mary. The woman had forged a career for herself as a nurse, under the thumb of an overbearing violent husband and a pack of sedent children, in an era where women were regarded slightly better than trash. It was more than Beth could ever aspire to herself.

The tough love didn't exactly come as a surprise, they had talked about it before, although not so blatantly... they'd both harboured the belief Dean could change… but it was the urgency in her pitch, like she knew Dean was willing to go a whole nother level and that alarmed Beth.

She was still sure Dean wouldn't lift a finger to the kids, he nothing but loved them dearly, she saw that love every day. Was one of the reasons she'd never left, was probably the one that still kept her here… what Mary didn't know was that Dean was sick. _How could she take that love away from him, when he very much possibly had meagre months to live?_

No, Beth was sticking to her six-month plan. Mary offer couldn't be more from the heart, but she knew the weight her family carried to keep afloat, there was no way she could sustain that weight with a retired nurse's pension, even if Beth got a job… But Beth wasn't going back to scraping by either. There was her pride too, it might be out of place but it was still there.

"Mary, there's something you should know." There was no good way to give such news, and Dean was very much against worrying his mother, but Beth was a mother too, and she was certain that leaving Mary in the dark about something like this wasn't the right thing to do, "Dean has cancer."

The woman's face fell, her ensemble chalked, and she grasped Beth's kitchen countertop as if clinging to life. "Oh... "

Dean's heavy steps made his announcement coming down the stairs, "Everyone is accounted for and looking for grandma…"

"When were you going to tell me?" Mary asked with a shaky voice.

Dean spared an annoyed look towards Beth, "You told her? Jesus Beth, I said I didn't want to!"

"Don't blame Beth on this, she did the right thing. You can't hide something like this from your own mother."

"I'll let you two talk," Beth said already on her way to the kids' bedrooms.

"I didn't want to worry you, Ma." Dean returned Mary's tight hug.

Of course, his true reason was far from unnecessary worry. His mother, as a nurse, would want to know the very details and wouldn't be satisfied with simple explanations like the, _I'm going to the oncologist, see you in a couple of hours,_ he'd usually throw Beth's way to go and fuck Linda Lee, a recent widow which son played in the same soccer team as Danny. She wasn't even attractive, not to Dean's standards, he was more into big tiddies, thick thighs and pouty lips. But Dean never had Asian pussy before and damn, if the petite-lil'-thang knew how to give head.

It was more than enough distraction until he found his way back into Beth's panties. Right now Dean was in no hurry. Willingly he'd loosen up his leash, given her the false sense of confidence that she was craving so much. Power was a funny thing, a seesaw, which unbeknown to Beth, he held the control. Oh, right now she was balancing it, and he was letting her climb high. The higher she got the harder she'd fall. And he would be right in the front row to see the splash.

For now, he was getting the facts from the observer point of view, trying to grasp whatever she was involved in with that shady guy, and anything that might compromise her. Then he would have an Ace in his already winning hand, just for good measure, it never hurt to have a safety net. When the time came, he would toss it so smoothly Beth wouldn't even see what had hit her. And by God, he was enjoying it almost as much as he enjoyed plunging into her golden cunt.

For the next half-hour, Dean endured his mother tears and avoided entering medical details the most efficiently he could. Then to his complete surprise, she went on a rant.

"You're goddamn lucky Beth is staying by your side."

"What…"

"You better count your blessing from now on and if you lift a finger against her ever again, you can consider yourself motherless! I've never should have turned a blind eye but I always had fate you'd change. I thought she had it better than I did, you only hit her when you were drunk… But I won't do it again." She choked and tears began to stream down her face.

"Mom... I love Bettie, you know that. It's just… When I found out she had cheated… " He started to cry, "I couldn't stop it, Ma. But I'm seeing a therapist, I'm better…"

"No, you're not… When you look at her… " She shook her head and breathed deeply, "I always thought you're a bit too crazy about her, you even told me yourself, when you saw her you had to have her... but that isn't love, that is destruction. I won't let you go a worse path than your Daddy did, you hear me? I have pictures... from when you almost killed her. I don't care if you're dying on your bed... you hurt her again, I'll handle them to the police."

As a nurse, she'd had seen many ugly things, she herself had lived through many ugly things but every time she thought about that night... the night a slurred and incoherent, crying Dean, called her saying he'd killed his wife... a cold sweat started to dampen her hairline and her stomach to quiver.

She hadn't even recognized Beth. Her delicate features were gone. Replaced by purple and black bruises. Her cheeks, which usually showed the graceful curve of her bone structure, were puffed and doubled in size. Her blue eyes shut, not because she'd closed them but because they were too swollen to be opened. The back of her head cracked open, because her son had been slamming her head against this same kitchen's floor. The kids had slept through the ordeal, only the nearly 3-month-old Emma was crying her lungs out when she arrived, after making the 30-minute drive in 10. It was one of the most horrific things she'd experienced. It was also the night she'd learned her youngest son had not escaped his father genes. "I'll prefer to see you in jail."

"You wouldn't do that, mom." He said firmly.

"You are my son, Dean and I will always love you, but that can't happen again. I won't protect you again. I hope you're speaking the truth about your changed ways, for everyone's sake."

* * *

Beth had a difficult time to sleep that week. Nightmares would plague her dreams. It happened frequently when she talked with Mary about Dean's abuse. Beth concluded it was triggered by her fears of others uncovering her truths, Mary, being the only one that had a small grasp of her reality. She didn't know about the ra… about everything, at least Beth never told her. But it was enough to have her creeping out of her skin and jumpy.

Dean was the perfect gentleman, although a bit warmer than his previous iceberg mode, he hadn't even tried to touch her that much, he was actually helpful, taking the kids out when she needed. Their relationship, over the last couple days, had grown on her like some kind of weird and grudging friendship. In the nightmares sometimes it wasn't even Dean beating her to a pulp... sometimes it was a much darker and menacing figure, sometimes it was Rio. And she knew she was completely out of line there but tell that to her brain.

The images were so vivid, that when she'd wake up with a silent scream crawling up her constricted throat. Her hand would fly to the back of her head and she would touch the scar at the base of her skull, expecting it to be bleeding. The second her vision would take to adjust, was a reminder of the horrendous feeling of wanting to open her eyes and find it impossible.

 _Lord! She was fucking pathetic._ That woman she'd been pretending to be the last couple weeks had dissolved, the spell over. She felt the split in her structure. The demons professed so tightly confined, were hauled to freedom, but nevertheless leashed to her.

When she tried to renew the spell with her little magic pills, she found the tub empty. She'd had been progressively increasing the quantity for the last weeks, the morning boost had given way to a mid-afternoon spur and she had finally run out. At first, she thought nothing of it, she didn't really need them after all. Only little part of herself sighed with exasperation at being unable to grasp a quick and easy solution.

Then she started to feel angsty, her body a little itchy by the end of the afternoon, and she barked at Jane excessively when she accidentally spilled her milk all over the counter. Then she couldn't sleep, not because of nightmares, but because she was feeling extremely uncomfortable, her mind mysteriously wired, her belly cramping outrageously when she still had two weeks left till her period. She wished she had more pills, they never failed to keep her pain at bay. Either physical or emotional.

The next morning, after dropping the kids at school, she found herself at her MD's consultation, unable to keep her feet from thumping away over the vinyl floor, while she waited impatiently. The odour of medical grade disinfectant was stuck on the back of her throat, hellishly. When she finally got inside the office she had managed to bit two of her fingernails into the stubs.

The lie, of having strained her back lifting a heavy box and that nothing was working to alleviate the pain, came so easily that Beth even surprised herself. She almost panicked when the doctor suggested an injection instead, but thanks to her quick mouth, she hasty came up with the excuse of having an event that weekend, about her dress being sleeveless and they both knew _how easily she bruised_. When the doctor laughed and said the injection was in her butt, her face almost fell. Beth laughed hysterically, then somehow forced a blush, saying it was a special night, and she didn't want her lily white ass bruised.

She managed to make her doctor, of approximately 6 years, blush back. He laughed but yielded on the injection. Two minutes later she was leaving with a shiny new prescription and a recommendation to come back in two weeks if she wasn't better. Beth had no intention of being back again, she just seriously needed a tiny bit of comfort. She could stop taking the pills anytime, tomorrow even if she wanted.

She filled the Oxycontin prescription on the way home, the paper sack laid on the passenger seat along with her purse. She started to cast quick side-looks at it, attracted by its lighthouse gleam... a beacon of light, guiding her to a nestled harbour, away from restless waters.

Her heart began to beat faster and her palms started to sweat over the leather of the steering wheel. She stopped on the side of the road and took the bottle out of the sack, the pop off the lid reverberated through the car and relaxed her tense shoulder blades. Grasping two pills between shaky fingers, she uttered, _'Welcome back, my friends. You were missed.'_

It had an almost immediate placebo effect as she popped them in her mouth.

* * *

She jumped out-the-boat for another drop-off mid-week. Guaranteeing Annie's coverage with a promise of her fudge brownies,

 _Just say I'm sick... a migraine or something, please!_

 _I don't wanna lie to him, Beth! Ur the one who has thang for guns, I don't want those near my face ever again._

 _:( PLEASE! I'll owe you..._

There were a couple minutes of silence, till her phone buzzed again,

 _Brownies... Saturday! I'll bring the spice! :thumbsup: :yum:_

 _Uhg! Fine! But I don't want you having the spiced ones at my house._

 _Uhg! You're still boring af! And me thinking had loosened you up a bit._ :eggplant:

 _Shut up, pest!_

 _F.U. BETH! .I._

 _FUUUU! OKAY! Sorry… I'll make them double choc... deal?_

 _:ok_hand: I'ma need the whole story, tho_

 _:unamused: Fine! Come early, Saturday._

Saturday, early evening, true to her word, Annie blasted through the back door herb satchel in hand and already questioning raised eyebrows. Good thing Dean had already made himself scarce and took the kids with him.

"Spill! The suspense has been killing me all week!"

Beth sighed mentally, hand mixing the chocolate batter more vigorously than necessary, "Gimme that," She muttered nodding to the transparent bag.

Annie opened it and stuffed it under Beth's nose, giggling. Beth turned her nose and shot a thousand daggers into her, "Chill, beech!" Annie said chuckling, "I think you need this more than me!"

"I need you not to behave like a goddamn child every fucking time. That's what I need." Beth uttered under her breath.

Annie poured the bag contents into the mixture, "Well, you made a deal with the child here… so, spill… what's going on with you and Rio?"

Beth clenched her jaws, "I think... I'm gonna have to tell him about Emma."

Annie whistled, "I thought you were against it... "

Beth shrugged her shoulders, mixing the herb thoroughly into the brownie batter, "He showed up here the other day…" Annie raised her eyebrows, "Uninvited!" Beth quickly clarified, "They've met. I… they have like a… bond. It's uncanny. It made me feel wrong… It's hard to explain."

"It's not… they are father and daughter." Annie simply stated, "So, you and him?"

Beth blushed, quickly grabbing the tray she poured the batter, "What about it?"

Annie rolled her eyes, "Oh, common! I think we're past the denial stage. You want it, he wants it. Just get it out of your system already! Not everything is life and death, Beth! You're allowed to have some fun!"

"It's not that simple! I'm married! I have four kids! I surely need this money! And I think I'll have it bad enough when he finds out about Emma! I can't just…"

"Yes, you can! Fuck him, then tell him... when he's balls deep! At least you'll catch him unprepared!" Annie said giggling. Beth rolled her eyes at the usual and brutal, younger sisterly honesty Annie loved to cast over her, "I know you like to have everything planned, but some things you just need to go with the flow. Whatever you guys been brewing... it's starting to skim over the container's edges, sis. It's gonna spill, you can't avoid it. It's your choice if you will be prepared for the mess."

Beth stared at her for long seconds, "Wow! Look who's going all ghetto-Nietzsche on me!"

Annie laughed, "One can't go around listening to you and not learn something."

Beth snorted, "You still have a long way to go."

Annie punched her in the shoulder, "Shut up and put these babies in the oven, will you?"

Not much after Ruby arrived bringing the wine and Bugles, all ready for their monthly reality-tv fix. Annie got the snacks ready over the coffee table, while Ruby got the wine glasses from the kitchen. Beth went to get the forgotten cork-screw only to find Ruby stuffing her mouth with a brownie.

"Oh God! Please tell me you didn't get that from the red container?" Beth asked.

"Yeah… why?"

Beth squeezed the bridge off her nose and shut her eyes tight, Annie was already laughing her ass off behind her, "Those are spiced."

"WHAT? What do you mean by spiced?" Ruby screeched.

"What do you think?" Beth crossed her arms and gave a 'told you so' look towards Annie.

"You going on a trip, that's what!" Annie said, grabbing a browning from the container she took a bite, "And I'm riding with you, boo!"

"Oh, MY GOD!" Ruby muttered.

Annie danced her way to Beth, half-eaten brownie pointed in her direction, "Open up that pretty pout, you won't be left behind, Bettie!"

"NO!"

Ruby gave her the stare down, "Bitch, You better eat that, you so fucking owe me right now… I ain't doing this alone!"

"I didn't force you to eat those! And you're not alone! You have Annie!" Both Annie and Ruby flanked her, "I said no!"

Twenty minutes later the three sat on the cozy sofa, screaming and laughing their asses off at the tv, high as kites.

"No! No!" Annie screeched, all three gasping as the Real Housewives of New York episode reached its climax.

 _'...I don't want to be the one to have to tell you this because it's not my Please don't let it be about Tom...'_

"I cannot!" Ruby hid her face on the blanket throw.

 _'...It's about Tom...'_

Annie and Ruby screamed shocked and delighted.

 _'...No! Just don't! Get away from me right now...'_

"Oh, Countess, you knew he was a playa." Beth screamed at the tv.

Annie aided, "Dude, you are on a reality show!"

"Oh, you can't turn those cameras off," Ruby added softly. Then the show went to commercial break, making all three groan, "I would've vied for her."

"Okay, you guys." Beth turned to them in the sofa, a cheeky smile on her lips, "I did something."

"What does that mean?" Ruby asked with concern.

"What did you do?" Annie pressed getting worried.

"Tell me there is not another man up in that treehouse," Ruby muttered.

Beth arched a perfectly shaped brow and smiled wider, "Wait here."

"I don't like that look in her eye," Annie said as Beth left.

"Mmm." Ruby agreed.

"Tension's killing me. I'm getting more Bugles."

"Ooh, wine me, please." Ruby handed her glass, "Thank you."

That was when the back door opened softly. Annie was the first to see them, her scream died even before it started as Rio pressed a finger to his lips, demanding silence. She complied very quickly 'cause one of his boys had a gun pointed to her head. Rio walked over Ruby, completely silent, his movements stilled and predator like, Annie had never seen anything like it. Ruby flinched as the gun muzzle pressed against her skull, she lost her breath, else she'd have screamed.

"Get up," Rio ordered, pointing to the formal living room as Beth's voice reached them from her bedroom.

"I want you guys to be honest. Kind of love it, but... maybe it's over the top."

Ruby quickly exchanged a look with Annie as she took place beside her near the fireplace, while Rio sat on the edge of the sofa side table.

Beth walked in distracted with her necklace, Rio ground on his teeth and steeled his heart from what the vision of her provoked on him. That deep red momma sweater made him think of all the sinful things he would like to do with her, "Not over the top at all."

She stopped on her tracks, looking confused towards the girls, who nervously faced two guns pointed at them. She slowly turned towards him, still holding onto the necklace around her graceful neck.

Rio chuckled softly, getting up and reaching her with two large strides, Beth didn't fail to notice the golden gun in his hand.

"What is that? Is that... Is that emerald cut?"

Especially when he grasped the back of her neck so tightly that she lost her breath for a long second, then another one as the muzzle of said gun, travelled down her neck. Cold and calculated to inspire fear. It served its purpose.

"Please put down the gun." She asked nervously.

Rio didn't lift his eyes from the top of her breasts, a teasing exhibit under the small cleavage, "How much of my money did that set you back?" He drawled, squeezing her nape, while the gun kept working shivers over her skin.

"This isn't your money." She riposted outraged.

His dark slanted orbs finally met hers, and the hardness there made all her recent nightmares seem real, "Oh, see, but it is."

Beth could barely stand to look at him, to see him, so solid and real, but equally menacing as the man haunting her dreams. Shaking, she managed to express her confusion, "What are you doing? I thought we were past this."

"Me too," Rio said, feeling like a complete fool because he was falling for her tricks again. Those blue eyes, shining with confusion and apprehension, like she had done nothing wrong all her life… Goddamn him and may a fuckin' lightning struck him right now, if she was gonna make a fool out him again, "But you bitches just keep stealing from me."

Beth glanced over his muscular shoulder to the girls, they were as perplexed as she was.

"You think you can slip in fake cash with the real and I ain't gonna notice?" He raged, capturing her attention again.

"No, it's not possible. We have a system." Beth quickly explain. His hand still tight and searing over her skin.

"Ah, me too." He said in complete state of unbelievment. She had fuckin' nerve.

"No…" She repeated with conviction, "... we know what is real and we know what is fake."

"Oh, me too. And you tried to rip me off a hundred Gs?" He drawled.

"What?" Beth screeched, "No."

"I swear to God! We would never do that," Annie declared from behind him.

It was like he wasn't even listening, his eyes were burning but instead of the usual fire, she was getting frostbite. Her knees almost gave in as he pressed the gun hard, under her jaw, panic taking hold of her, "Please, don't hurt me." For a second she could swear there was something else in his eyes than disdain and mistrust, but then she kept talking and it was gone, "We didn't steal your money. We're not thieves."

All of him tensed, Beth quickly understood her gaffe. They were thieves, they had stolen from him in the first place, but they didn't do it this time.

"I'm done playin', Elizabeth."

The ice in his voice chilled her to the bone. He then grasped her upper arm brutally, pulling her with him and Beth began to really fear for her life.

Annie started to yell, "Wait… wait,"

"Maybe it was one of the women." Ruby said, "Maybe one of them didn't wash the money and just turned in her surveys and didn't go shopping."

He didn't even much blench, kept dragging Beth to her bedroom. He shoved her inside and ordered her to sit on the bed, slamming the door closed. Her body jerked along with the bang. _Good. She should be scared._

"What? You didn't think I knew about your lil' army? You think you can hide things from me, Elizabeth?"

"No... " She was hyperventilating a bit, and Rio felt like a bastard. _Damn him, he had the right to be mad, she stole from him._ "I… W-We couldn't w-wash the cash f-fast enough, so w-we had to outsource."

He stood in front of her, arms crossed over his groin, golden gun in hand, "You really think I would have allowed you to share my business if I didn't think your plan worked? Your mistake was thinking you could distract me with your fine ass, and your snake ways. But I learn from my mistakes, Elizabeth. I have one eye watching you, and the other, sweetheart... is watching what you do."

"I didn't steal from you…" She reassured with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, but you did. You steal everythin' from me. First, you stole my heart. Then my money. Lately, you been stealin' my sleep… but I ain't letting you steal my common sense, Elizabeth. You won't make a fool out of me."

Beth was stunned, he let the cold mask slip, for a moment she saw how hurt he truly was... even how disappointed he was with her. Her heart ached painstakingly in response. She shot up and placed a hand above his crossed ones, her fingertips brushing over the gold-plated gun, "Rio… believe me. I didn't steal your money."

His obsidian eyes burned and dropped to her lips, "He who wants a rose must respect the thorn. It don't matter if it was one of your lady friends that screwed me, its still your responsibility, Elizabeth. You owning it?"

She slowly nodded, not sure if he was giving her another chance or getting ready to pop her brains all over her Egyptian cotton duvet. The gun clicked as he flicked the safety back on. She swallowed the tennis ball sized lump in her throat and removed her hand from his. _Good God, he actually had a loaded gun aimed at her._

"You have 48 hours to get me my money and give me a name."

She frowned, "Listen, there could be any one of 30 people who…" His scowl made her want to find a hole and hide inside, "... I'll handle it."

"You handle it or I will. 48 hours." He repeated and left.

Beth fell heavily into the bed, sure his handling had a very different meaning than hers.

Annie barged in almost slamming the door down with Ruby on her heels.

"Oh, God! You're okay! Oh, God!" Her sister's arms, forcibly squeezed Beth's breath out, "I thought he was going to kill you!"

"No, he didn't. But he's gonna kill whomever stole that money." Beth stated.

For the next couple hours, they went through the shopper surveys which just proved to be a waste of time. They brainstormed through it until they finally came up with a stakeout plan.

From there it was a downfall, everything that could go wrong, went the worst conceivable way.

Annie went to a graveyard shift only get arrested, Bummer set her up with pills in her locker. She lost immediate custody of Sadie.

They spent the rest of the day organizing the secret shopper's stakeout, handing them a small amount and sending 'em all to the same store. Fortunately, the 100G's, althoug if dipping into their profits, weren't a problem. They way they were rolling, it was flowing out as much as it was coming in.

The next day was spent mostly at the Cloud 9 parking lot, inside Beth's van, conducting their stakeout. And it was fucking horrible,

A) Annie was at her worse, her way to deal with stuff was making herself insufferable and everyone else miserable.

B) Ruby was squeezing her dry for details... on Rio. That night six years ago. What the hell happened in her van. What happened yesterday in her room. Were they fucking? Was she really considering telling him about Emma? What about Dean? What's… if's… maybe's… For most things, Beth didn't even have the answers herself, what was she supposed to say?

C) She could have used a little help from her pills.

By the end of the day, when the store finally closed and they had the name, Beth was begging for mercy or death. Maybe both.

And when she thought things couldn't get worse, thanks to Annie's slip on words, they ended up being extortionate for the outrageous amount of 10K.

Then Ruby decided to go on a rant, with Annie already fed up with her own stuff and Beth in a foul mood… well, it didn't end pretty…

"I mean, we could let Rio 'handle' it." Annie suggested. Ruby gave her a killer look, Beth just rolled her eyes, "I'm just saying, I don't want to, but, you know, it would solve the problem cleanly."

"She's a single mother." Ruby exclaimed.

"With a dead husband. She's probably drowning in debt." Beth agreed.

"Oh, my God, you guys, it's not like she's this great person. She's blackmailing us. I mean, that's illegal." Annie reasoned.

"So is washing counterfeit money." Beth reminded her.

"And robbing a grocery store," Ruby added.

"And crossing the border with counterfeit money." Beth continued.

Annie raised her arms in defeat, "Okay! Okay."

Ruby groaned, "I mean, I hate to be the one to say I told you so…"

"Then how about you don't?"

Ruby ignored Annie's comment and kept going, "... But did I not tell you this was a bad idea. We never, ever should have brought other people into this."

Beth raised her eyebrows, "The system works."

Ruby stated the obvious, "Uh, clearly it doesn't."

"Someone found the one flaw." Beth replied exasperated.

"And is extorting us to the tune of $10,000." Ruby slid in smoothly.

Beth scoffed, "Okay, I know it would be really nice and neat… to just make it my fault."

"We were out. We were done with the gang. We were done with all of it."

Beth was baffled, "Are you serious?"

"And then we went back and asked for more."

"Because we needed the money and you got on board real quick." Beth stuck in.

"And now you're rolling like some evil mastermind…"

"Don't you call her evil!" Annie barged in.

"... With your six-month plan and your secret shoppers luring them in like some crazy Pied Piper."

Beth clenched her jaws, it stung a bit. Annie once again came to her defence, "Don't you call her crazy!"

"Okay, pause!" Ruby said, "You call her out all the time."

"We are blood!" Annie yelled.

And that did it…

"Okay, thank you! But..." Beth sighed as Ruby's eyes widened with hurt. _Fuck. Her. Fucking. Life!_

"Okay. I see… Okay. I mean, I'm just the one that held your hand when you went through the hell of signing your divorce papers, but whatever. 'Cause I'm not blood." Annie lowered her head regretful as tears welled in Ruby's eyes, "You know what? Do what you want. Pay her, don't pay her. Just leave me the hell out of it."

"Wait. Where are you going?" Annie asked.

"Home. To my family. My blood." Ruby said with the tears already rolling down her ebony cheeks.

"You can't just bail when things get bad." Beth stated.

"Things got bad the second we took down that grocery store." Ruby got in her car and left.

And that was that. Over 34 years of friendship and Beth had never seen Ruby hurt like that. And the fact that Ruby wasn't completely wrong... She was enjoying the litle schemes more than she should... Gosh! The last day and half was now part of the nightmares she wanted to forever forget. In fetal position over her bathroom floor, Beth found she had no tears to cry. Might be 'cause she stuffed three more pills in her mouth as soon as she got home, the effect was just on point right now.

The knock on the door echoed in her brain.

"Beth, are you decent?" Dean asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah." She replied softly, barely managing to pull herself into a seated position.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked as he opened the door.

"Yeah." Her head nodded.

"I... I heard the water running for like the last hour, and I got worried."

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep and then I couldn't shower, so…" She trailed off finding hard to concentrate on the words.

"D-do you mind if I turn off the shower? Just our water bill is gonna be insane." He asked already turning it off.

"God, no, of course. I'm sorry." She mumbled, feeling very tired all of a sudden, how odd… she should be relaxed but still... buzzing, not spent like this.

Dean frowned, she just looked so… weird. He slowly sat next to her on the floor, exhaling deeply, "Can I ask you one thing?"

"Okay," Beth replied meekly.

"Are you doing it for us?" She finally looked at him confusion all over her features, "I mean the kids. I mean, are you doing this for the kids?"

"Yes," Beth nodded earnestly, trying to shake the black and white dots from her vision.

"That's all I need to know," Dean replied.

Then to Dean's surprise, Beth leaned her head on his shoulder. After a few seconds, Dean hooked his arm around her waist. When Beth didn't tense, his fingers began caressing lazy circles over her hip.

Beth didn't tense because she was too doped to care. She dropped over his shoulder 'cause she was gone for a second, then didn't have the energy to lift it back up. Her brain did start to send alarm signals later, that something wasn't right when Dean nuzzled his nose against her neck and his large hand squeezed her boob.

She must have blacked out for a moment, cause next she knew Dean was on top of her and her PJ's shirt unbuttoned, his hand was sliding down her panties waistband. Beth's own hand flew to his thick wrist, "Stop." She slurred.

"Common, Bettie…" He murmured against her lips. "I'll make you feel good."

"No…"

He then pinned both her wrists above her head, she was as pliable as a rag doll, "Shhh… It's okay. What the fuck did you take, hmm? You don't smell or taste like booze." He asked before latching on her nipple.

Beth moaned, not of pleasure, not of pain... but of frustration. 'Cause she wanted to lift her arms and smack his face, maybe rip his hair from his scalp... But she couldn't. It was like one of the kids playing with a light switch. She was there, but then she wasn't. On and Off. The switch of her consciousness.

"No… Please… stop." She slurred, managing to lift her hand to his face out of sheer persistence for her brain to abide her command, but when she reached him, it fell limb over his cheek. How odd... she couldn't feel his mouth over her nipple but she felt the stubble of his beard tickling her palm.

Then all went black again. Then light pierced her eyes and Dean's face was grunting over her... and her cheeks felt wet. _Was she crying_? _Why was she crying for?_

"Fuck… Beth, you feel so good." He lifted her leg over his shoulder, and it was the funniest thing she'd seen, her red toenails floating in the air, but she couldn't laugh because she was crying. She tried again but all that came out was a grim wail and more wetness. _Stupid tears._

Another ghastly sound left her throat, she sounded... broken. Or maybe like a gravely wounded animal. _It was weird, and this wasn't fun. Wasn't it supposed to be all good when she took the pills?_

When the darkness came again, she welcomed it. Beth felt like sleeping anyways. _A nice big sleep. Yup! She was so tired she could sleep forever right now._

Dean groaned his release in the crook of her neck, "Fuck..."

She was out cold, and the pulse against his lips felt oddly dull. What the fuck? Beth on drugs? This was getting better and better. He probably should have stopped, it was too soon... but whatever. He'd missed her. If she remembered anything he would say she'd asked for it… she did, she started it, then pretended she didn't want it. It was her style... driving him crazy like that.

And if she didn't remember any of it, then it wouldn't be a problem, would it?

She was freezing all of a sudden. He shook her a bit, grabbing her hand to find it biting cold, a blue tinge under her nails. "Beth?"

Her lips began to turn blue-ish tone, and he could swear the dull pulse wasn't there anymore, "Jesus…" He shook her harder... she wasn't breathing, "Beth! Oh, god!" He cradled her in his arms, and rocked her gently, like all those years ago, "No, no, no! Not again, please."

 _/***/_

" _Is it time, Elizabeth?" The reassuring voice, nor female or male, was as familiar as the nothingness around her._

 _"Why are you here? I didn't call you... not this time," Beth muttered annoyed for her disrupted peace, she curled deeper into herself. Did it always have to be this cold when she sees It?_

 _The eerie chuckle, chilled her deeper than the bone, "Yet… I only come when I'm needed. Are you sure you don't need me, dear Elizabeth?"_

 _Beth lifted her head to face Death. It wasn't the first time... it wouldn't be the last. "Not yet."_

 _The slim, androgyne dark figure, smiled, alluring. "I never judge, Elizabeth. It is not my job. You know what to do… My kiss is always heady and forever comforting."_

 _"Promises… I don't want promises." Beth closed her eyes and laid on the absence of space and time. She just wanted a little peace and quiet._

 _Death crouched to pick her broken vessel, "Hmmm… I see." It murmured, examining the piece of her like it was a complex puzzle. Beth felt the deep-freeze over her inexistent matter, just under her rib cage, squeezing her lungs tight. "Do you want to remember what caused my visit?"_

 _Beth frowned, suspicious of the offer, "Is this another one of your deals?"_

 _The eerie chuckle never ceased to make Beth uncomfortable, "Why, Elizabeth… you have nothing left to bargain. It is simple kindness, from an old friend."_

 _Beth shrugged, "Then, I guess I'll take it."_

 _"Very well." It said dismissively, still engaged in whatever was so interesting of Beth's corporeal casing._

 _"Do I still have long?" Beth asked curious all of a sudden, "I'm so... tired."_

 _The strange eyes looked at her kindly, "I do not know. It is not my job to know. Time means nothing. But even I know that a broken clock is still right twice a day."_

 _Beth nodded, "Can I stay for a little bit?"_

 _"You will be cold, Elizabeth." It warned her, finally releasing her vessel._

 _"I don't mind the cold, it isn't so bad."_

 _The sympathetic and uncannily human smile, made Beth feel inexplicably better, "Take as long as you like. I'm here."_

 _Beth smiled back, "I'll call…"_

 _"Only when you need."_

 _And then It evanesced, dissipating some of the crisp chill with It, or at least, Beth felt a little less cold._

 _/***/_

"Beth!? Wake up!" He shook her even harder. He didn't hurt her, not this time.

He sat up and brought her into his chest, rubbing his hands over her back and arm, trying to bring some warmth into her.

As if listening to his prayers, she sucked in a huge breath. "Oh, Beth! I'm sorry…" He kissed her forehead and her returning to normal lips, repeatedly. "Oh, God! Thank you!"

Dean veiled her sleep that night, watching the steady raising of her chest, scared she would stop breathing again. The last time he had been this scared... God.

He ran a hand over his sleepy eyes, trying to erase the memories. Dean didn't know he was capable of deliberately hurting someone like that. She'd been out cold for three days, her face and body unrecognizable. Guilty and almost destroyed it had been the cries of a little baby girl that had held him together. Emma... so little and innocent.

He hadn't even much given a passing look to the three-month-old, everytime that he'd seen her it reminded him that Beth had been in another man's arms, he hated the annoying crying bundle. It was its fault, it was why he couldn't forgive Beth… then she'd asked for the divorce and Dean lost it. It was all the baby's fault.

Oddly that day, when he had no other chance but to compile to his mother demands and feed her, everything changed. He held her for the first time and Emma's tear-filled eyes were like an arrow to his heart. With huge blue eyes and a pouty lip, she looked exactly like Beth. And Beth was in the other room, clinging to life. So he'd clung to the little bundle.

* * *

A train went past the abandoned station, where she awaited for Rio's arrival under the dim light of a post, she hoped it enlightened her ideas. Beth was still without a clue how she ended up in bed, butt-naked, last night. It was like dropping the soap bar, the more she tried to grasp it the slippery it got. The last thing she recalled was Dean closing the shower tap and sitting next to her. She'd woken up feeling like she'd rolled down a staircase, twice. Even her eyelids ached. She suspected she had a drug-induced blackout. The rational part of her brain told her it was time to admit she had a problem, that she needed to stop taking those pills, but another part became anxious at the prospect and immediately started to protest. She needed the pills, how was she supposed to keep the pain at bay without them?

The rumble of Rio's Cadillac took her out of her sombre thoughts, it stopped smoothly in front of her, and Rio's dark figure claimed its presence on the night.

He didn't say a thing, just stood there, looking supreme and unapproachable. Like always his quietude disconcerted her.

Beth was used to movement, noise, maybe even a bit of chaos… Her kids running around, giggling and roughing each other up. When she drove alone, she liked to blast the radio's volume up. She'd always found noise therapeutic... it soothed her internal screaming.

But Rio was never in a hurry, he never raised his voice, there was this perpetual patience embed in him, although she was certain he had more urgent matters than to babysit three suburban bitches, whom only talent seemed to be screwing him over. Yet, here he was. And his words rooted in her brain as much as calmness was buried in him...

 _'You steal everythin' from me. First, you stole my heart. Then my money. Lately, you been stealin' my sleep… but I ain't letting you steal my common sense, Elizabeth. You won't make a fool out of me.'_

No, Beth had no desire of making a fool out him… the feeling from the loaded golden gun over her skin further heeded, unforgotten.

"It's all there and it's all real," Beth said after swallowing the lump in her throat, handing him the cash, "And it won't happen again."

"So who was it?" He asked as casually as if he was asking her the time.

"You got your money."

The tip of his tongue edged itself between his lips as he chuckled lowly, "Yeah… I'm also gonna need a name."

"I took care of it." She reassured with a tight smile.

"Come on." He slanted his dark eyes, dragging the vowels in that smooth drawl of his, "Just give me a name."

Beth held his tantalizing stare firmly, "Beth Boland."

He seemed surprised but just for a second. "Hmm…" He sucked his teeth, the tiny hint of a smile gone instantly, "Now let me give you some advice, yeah? When you got a rotten egg in the bunch, it stinks up the whole lot till you get rid of it."

"Like I said, I'm handling it." She reassured again.

He closed the distance between them, too damn much if you asked Beth, "I hope so. Your credit with me is already on the red, sweetheart."

Beth nodded with her throat constricted, she practically ran to her car. _How was she supposed to tell him about Emma?_

"Elizabeth… " His smooth deep voice stopped her in her tracks, "You free tomorrow? I could use your… _assistance_."

She looked at him teetering, hand over the door handle.

"It might help bump your credit." He added with a wicked half-smile. And even not wanting it, her lower belly fluttered.

"I'm free after dropping the kids at school…"

His dark eyes filled with pleasure, "I'll text you the details."

She nodded and got in her van only to pop her head back out, there was something she had to leave clear between them, she was no thief and she deserved a minimum of respect, "Don't ever point a gun at me again."

He clenched his jaws but lifted the corner of his mouth, his eyes guarded. And Beth was unsure if she'd crossed the message. He was so difficult to read, yet other times so clearly forthright on what he was thinking… on what he wanted.

A complete and utterly confusing paradox, that's what he was.


	9. Truths, Dares and Consequences Pt1

Okay, this chapter is getting massive, I think it's going to be 2 or 3 parts.

Sorry for the long wait, can't promise regular updates till the holidays are over, I get extremely busy at this time of the year, but I'll try my best to keep up.

Hope you enjoy it, thank you for your time and your massive support, you guys are as supportive as Christina Hendricks bra! And that's no joke! :3 I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Songs for this chapter:

Yuna - Crush ft. Usher  
Emmit Fenn - Modern Flame (feat. Yuna)  
"Neptune" - Sleeping At Last

* * *

Beth had still no idea what she was supposed to assist with, _'Dress casual but nice, no momma shirts. I'll pick u up at 11'_ , wasn't exactly a clue.

She'd curled her lip at the text, not only he wanted to tell her how to dress he also wanted to pick her up? At her house? Nope!

Just the other day, had turned her nose at her, making a comment under her nasty old lady breath about backyards, tattooed men, and scandal. Beth never felt more glad for someone else misery, relieved that her next-door neighbour suffered from dementia.

It was too risky, especially after Agent Turner fishing the car from the lake. How much leg length could it take to connect her to Rio and border crossing? Rio might not be worried, but she had a family to see for. She had quickly replied a _'No, I'll meet you somewhere'._

His response had been a simple, _'Elizabeth…',_ and it was like she could hear his slightly annoyed and lengthed drawl in her head. _Don't push your luck, sweetheart._

So Beth hadn't said anything else, she laid in bed, awaken till the early hours of dawn, struggling with the one million things he could make her feel with one simple word, her name. But it was still not enough to keep her other struggle at bay... her body reactions to a sudden decrease on her dosage of Oxy.

 _It was under control,_ she told herself for the hundredth time, she could deal with a little bit of discomfort, she'd weaned four babies off her breast, she could wean herself out of this... But then she started shaking a bit too much, her body aching like she'd suddenly caught a massive flu, then that weasely part of her brain began whispering, telling her she needed to sleep at least a couple of hours, who knew what Rio had in store for her? Half a pill, just to take the edge off… _c'mon just half, it isn't that much_... Beth succumbed, it was a process after all.

That morning she still had her boost, reduced but still. And she made sure to carry some in her purse. She was prepared… Dean was picking up the kids from school and she had the pills, just in case.

Of course, she had no intention to take them, but she also had no idea how long this thing with Rio was going to take, the last thing she wanted was to have withdrawal symptoms in front of the man who pierced through her layers with such easiness, and whom probably had seen his share of junkies in his business line... she was better off attaching a billboard to her forehead, _'I enjoy prescription pills a bit too much!'_

Beth looked in the mirror. Well, she didn't like when she went without. It was the first time she put the word out there... junkie and it wasn't right, she was not one... she was a fucking mess but she was not an addict. She'd just gone a bit overboard, she had it under control and she was gonna take care of it.

With a sigh, she adjusted the cashmere beret over her curls. Rio should be here any second, he was never late and Beth was always early. So she put on her forest green trench coat... over a 'momma' sweater - _fuck him_ \- and took a good look in the full-length mirror. She looked… nice. Still casual with her skinny black jeans and ankle boots, the hat gave her that _pizzazz_ , and the trench coat was always classy. The memory from when she bought it, years ago, pregnant with Danny, made her chest twinge... the thing had barely fitted over her pregnant belly but Dean insisted she should have it, that shade of green made her eyes pop like crazy, that they didn't even look just blue anymore but ocean like, in a stormy day.

 _'*chuckle* I love you, Dean, but that ocean you see in my eyes might be 'cause I look like a fat whale._

 _*peck* You look beautiful *peck* and I'm the luckiest bastard alive… *peck* We should go for a basketball team, one more and we're good. *kiss*_

 _*laugh* If I wasn't pregnant already one would think you are trying to... Do you have a thing for pregnant women now?_

 _I have a thing for you. I love you, Beth, more than ever.'_

Beth closed her eyes it was painful to remember those times, those people didn't exist anymore. But he wasn't wrong, she did look beautiful then and so she did now.

It wasn't vanity, Beth wasn't blind, at least on the outside she looked good... for four kids and a too many times bruised body. Men - and women - looked at her walking down the street, and she had caught Kenny's pre-teen friends staring down her boobs more than once. Rio stared too, but more than leer... he bared her to the soul, and she would be lying if she said it didn't felt partly good. She would be lying if she said he didn't wake her slumbering need... about the same amounts he did fear.

Fear and desire. In regards to Rio, those two co-existed in parallel and crossed paths at unexpected intersections. She feared she wouldn't be able to resist him, she feared the desire was so consuming there will be nothing left when he was finished with her. She especially feared the day he would have enough of playing with her, his patience exuded and his contained violence finally put on display. She wasn't sure if the truth about Emma would be enough for him lose it, his emotions were under steel bound control, but at the right temperature, even steel rendered. When and if it happened, 110% sure, it would be lethal.

So Beth did what she'd been doing so far… she put her game face and her figmental fighting gloves on, adopted a defensive stance and raised her fists to guard herself against possible threatening blows. She might be running on fumes and her marked fate a knockout over the mat but she still had a bit of fight in her.

Beth grabbed her purse and cast one last look in the mirror, checking her make-up one last time, making sure she had no lipstick on her teeth, she had to be heavy on the concealer, the dark circles under her eyes had required so.

She had barely closed the front door when a vintage Mercedes made the corner. Her heart began harmonising in a very distinctive rhythm and she knew it was Rio.

She'd always thought that seeing your crush arrive in slow motion was a thing of humdrum, sugar-coated rom/coms, something non-compliant with the realm of reality, but when Rio's car strolled down the street, it was no doubt in slow-mo. For all she knew she might have floated down the small set of porch-steps, an undisclosed rush was cruising through her veins and making her lightheaded. _God lend her a helping hand! She was a grown woman with a crush on the badboy._

The coupé windows were rolled down and the cutest bull terrier that Beth had ever seen stuck his flat shark-shaped head out of it. The dog was completely white, except for its black nose and upright pointy ears, which were a reddish fawn.

The chortle of the powerful engine matched the beat of her heart, it was simply magnificent, all glossy black paint and polished chrome, with camel leather interiors. But if the car was magnificent, the driver was superb.

With classic Ray-Ban's shading his obsidian eyes, in his all usual all-black statement, Rio wrapped an arm around the dog's neck and scratched its ears. Like its owner, the bull terrier seemed to be smiling at her, pink tongue out. "You ready to ride my whip, sweetheart?"

 _God fucking preserve her..._ That crooked half-smile was going to be the end of her. The little rush became a burning flood and she felt her cheeks tinge red, the deviant denotation to his words didn't pass by unnoticed.

"Where are we going?" Beth countered as he opened the door from the inside. He didn't bother to answer and Beth just stood there for a moment, the dog didn't move from the passenger seat, neither Rio did anything to encourage. Beth raised a questioning eyebrow. "You let your dog ride in _this_ car?"

His smile widened, and he scratched the back of her head again, "My girl owns her place, she can be a bit jealous, but she won't bite… unless I tell her to. You can share the front or go in the back, your choice."

Beth snorted but scooted in, like hell she was going in the back. The seat was pretty large and the leather extremely soft and comfortable. The car interior was as well cared for as the exterior, completely restored with glistening wood and chrome accents, only the radio was altered to modern standards. "So, restoring cars is still your thing?" Beth asked as the bull terrier held a stare down contest with her, the triangular black eyes seemed to judge her for the longest time.

Beth could see how Rio slanted his dark eyes behind the polarized lenses, a cold smile on his lips, "So, do you remember that night or our conversations are part of your selective memory?"

"I said I didn't remember much of it..." Beth replied defensively. The dog, finally done with her assessment licked Beth's cheek, tail wiggling, and sniffed her all over, probably noticing Buddy's scent. It wasn't too much of a lie, there was alot of fogginess, but she still recalled most of their convos, one being that he restored cars as a hobby. Beth scratched the top of the dog's head with a smile, "It's just breathtaking… I mean the car." She quickly added.

His eyes warmed up travelling up and down her body, their heat spreading through her like winter sun, "Yeah, it is."

Beth cleared her throat, trying to shake the uneasiness and focused on the happily wiggling dog on her lap, "What's her name?"

"Bella."

Beth shot her eyes up to Rio's, unsure if to be offended or laugh, "You named your dog, Bella?"

"Yeah, as soon as I saw her she reminded me of a certain lady… all soft white and reddish top coat. She came straight to me and threw herself over my lap too." Beth felt another blush raising, "And funny enough... they share the same traitor quality too." Rio stared at Bella, the dog whined as if understanding, "Yes, I'm talking to you Miss Turncoats." He scoffed, "I shouldn't be surprised, bitches stick to bitches after all."

Despite the fact she'd just been called a treacherous bitch, more or less, Beth laughed hard as Bella made herself comfortable over her lap and turned her butt to Rio looking unimpressed, definitely a snub for dog standards, "I guess they do."

Rio was stunned for a couple of seconds, goosebumps ran up his arms and raised the hairs at the back of his neck, his cock stirring to attention. He didn't think he'd heard her laugh since that night six years ago, not like that. She was always so serious, guarded, completely on the defensive and he would dare say cold… except when he kissed her, then she would thaw. But, God, he had almost forgotten how heavenly her laugh was.

Rio took off his sunnies and leaned closer to Beth, galled as much as he was bewitched by her, "What is it with you?" He drawled, looking so deeply into her eyes that Beth felt she was drowning into those pots of melting dark chocolate, "Do you so effortlessly enthral everyone like that or is it just me and what's mine, uh?"

His tone was smooth but his lips looked even smoother, "I-I wouldn't know." She replied almost out of breath. _What happened to put on a fight? All she wanted to do was kiss him! What the fuck was wrong with her?_

"Oh, I think you do…" She was moving away but he quickly captured her jaw, his hold firm but gentle, thumb grazing over her defined cheekbone, he narrowed his eyes, probing into her very soul, "Who are you?"

Beth lungs couldn't pull air all of sudden and she quickly pulled away from the searing touch, sitting back against the leather. Bella whined as if sensing her distress, opening one of her distinctive triangular dark eyes up to her, Beth scratched her ears and looked straight ahead, hoping her voice didn't show how badly his question had unsettled her, "Can we go? Please."

"I'm gonna get an answer, Elizabeth. Sooner or later." Rio put his shades back and started the engine.

The powerful roar covered the loud beating of her heart, she had no doubt he would.

They fell into a silence after that, at first uncomfortable and tense, on her part, because Rio looked serene and smooth as a peach while he turned the radio on.

Nothing rattled him for long, except her... but he was patient… he had waited six years for something he didn't even know he was waiting, he could certainly wait a few more weeks to have it. She could fight all she wanted but they both knew the result. Elizabeth was his and he was more than willing to be hers, if she proved trustworthy. Because Rio still had his doubts… his gut screamed something was off, he just could put his finger on what. She did have a knack for con… and he would prefer to be dead first than to be pussy blinded.

Beth started to relax after a couple of minutes, the music was low and the Spanish rolled through the speakers like a caress, the leather was worn and comfortable under her, and Bella's warmth felt familiar... homelike. That was the thing with Rio, it was like they done all this before, their connection forged an eternity ago. She didn't understand it - even when they had more history than a Grimm tale - they were still strangers, but the pull was always there, overpowering and taxing.

Oddly she felt unworried about the fact that she had no idea where they were going or doing, somehow safe. He could have hurt her in so many occasions and within reason, yet is touch was always gentle, and she indeed had a taste of his verbal and punishing violence to which he had quickly apologized, both times. Rio wasn't a deliberate or unreasonably cruel person. He had given her a chance to prove herself, more than once. It was all so confusing, she feared him yet she felt safe with him.

And she hadn't felt safe in so long, so relaxed and lost in her thoughts that when his hand covered hers over the middle console, Beth entwined her fingers with his without thinking. When she noticed what she'd done, it was too late to pull away without looking stupid. Especially when he brought her knuckles to his warm lips and kiss them. _How could she pull away when his calloused palm fitted so perfectly against her soft one._ The very own grooves on their palms seemed to fit into each others, it seemed wrong to separate such flawless union.

He took the highway and they drove like that, in comfortable silence, hand in hand, there was no need to break contact since the transmission was automatic. There was no destination in her mind, but somehow she reached somewhere... unsettling peace. It almost ended too soon when he finally parked in front of Lucky's, the fated bar from six years ago.

"What are we doing here?" She asked confused, but somehow not surprised.

"I gotta pick up the week's intake, it's gonna be quick. You wanna come in?" He asked with a wicked smile, "No time for a whole bottle of Patron, but I can offer you a shot."

"So you lied to me? You own this place?" She asked already getting out, she was not gonna lie she was curious, she had avoided passing by this area for six years.

"I don't lie." He said while he waited for her to round the car, Bella on her toes, leash on hand, "I acquired it a couple years after our… unplanned rendezvous."

"Oh." He had asked her opinion on the place after all. He offered his arm and Beth again without thinking laced her arm around his, her hand resting over his bicep, like she'd done all her life. The familiarity tickled down her spine, what the... "Do you feel it too?" She asked before she could contain herself.

"Feel what, sweetheart?" He asked.

"I… Nevermind, it's nothing." She replied as he opened the door for her. Bella ran in like she owned the place, and the stale odour of beer hit her nostrils overwhelmingly. It was like that night minus the tobacco, no one smoked in public spaces anymore. The decor had changed quite a bit, and the bar was completely empty, but if she focused enough she could see Rio, a shadow in the corner of the bar, branding her with the heat of his gaze. Her head shot to the back wall, although turned off, the neon sign it was still there, _'No Good Girls Allowed'._

She chuckled, "You kept it."

He hummed, "I thought in tear it down and burn it, the whole bar to be honest. I was tryin' to fuckin' exorcize you from my system, but I couldn't bring myself do it."

"You brought this place because of me." She stated softly.

He scratched the back of his head, "You must think me a sap…"

"I… no, not at all… I guess not, not if you make money out of it…" She taunted him.

"Oh, I do wash cash here, and we serve watered down vodka after 1 AM." He said in that way that always left Beth unsure if he was actually serious or just messing with her.

"Well, thank you... I guess. I'll make sure to leave before 1." She replied, and when he started chuckling she did too, "You don't wash cash here."

"Nah, but I was serious about the vodka... gotta make my millions somewhere." His smile was so genuine that it threw Beth off. The camaraderie was gone and the sexual tension grew as strong as the beer odour.

Thankfully Bella showed up running with a guy on her tail, "Hey, Rio. I wasn't expecting you till later but it's all in the safe." The man said and nodded towards Beth in acknowledgement.

"Bernard, this is Beth, an associate. She might show up to collect for me from now on." Beth, who was shaking the guy's hand, shot a look towards Rio like he had grown two heads, "Bernard is the manager."

Beth carried through a tight smile and exchanged nice to meet you's. Rio nodded for her to follow him into the back. "Collect? A heads up would be nice!" Beth whispered irked, "Are you expecting me to beat people up for your money too? Should I start carrying a knuckle duster in my purse or one of your boys will bring the muscle?"

Rio chuckled, "I like the way you think, darlin'." He opened a door with an electronic lock fitted, 'Staff Only' was written in bold letters, it was an office with a safe occupying most of the space of the back corner, once Beth was in Rio closed the door behind him, Bella laid on a dog bed by the floor.

"You can't keep signing me up for this stuff, I…"

"You'll do what I say or you won't do shit, Elizabeth." He interrupted her, "You can't pick and choose. I thought I'd left that clear."

She clenched her jaws, "And I thought I left clear I have a family. I can't..."

"So you want out?" He asked with a devilish smile.

"NO, I didn't say that! I just..."

"You just what, sweetheart?" He asked getting close to her, "You just like to affront me, uh?" His hand wrapped around her nape, "I have other, more pleasurable ways, to debate our disagreements."

And just like that, he kissed her. God, it was like sunburn, fire, but she shivered. All ending as fast as it started. Beth blinked, blinded by the pooling of blood behind her eyes.

"I told you no momma shirts," His free hand cupped her breast over the damn sweater and Beth swallowed the dryness in her mouth, "But even on that you defy me."

Beth managed a snort, "I'm a bit too old to be told what to dre..."

He planted his lips on hers, shutting her up effectively, except for the little moan that escaped her throat as he deepened the kiss and kneaded her breast. Her nipple shot up, tight, with all the attention. Unsure on what to do with her hands, Beth clasped them into tight fists to her sides, she definitely didn't want to give in to the urge and start undoing buttons of his shirt.

"You really think I want to dress you?" He chuckled over her lips, pressing her back against the door, and himself against her. Beth felt his erection, hard and incredibly hot against the layers of clothing over lower belly. He then placed his lips against hers, almost chaste, nothing like lecherous thing that happened two seconds ago, but it didn't burn less, on the contrary, it left her yearning for more, so much more. Beth moaned and grabbed his head, the crisp short hair biting into her palm as she pressed her lips hard against his, when he didn't open his mouth she pulled at his lower lip. A tiny smile curved the side of his mouth, and the hand at her hip dug into her back, bringing her closer to his body. "Do you want that tequila now? I have to take a look at the numbers else we going to be late."

"No, I'm good. I don't drink tequila anymore." She mumbled as he placed a kiss over her neck.

He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose, "I wonder why."

Beth gazed into those deep coffee brown eyes, her throat constricted, this urge to open her mouth and spill everything came over her, maybe she should just tell him all in one go and pray for mercy, instead she pushed him away, "Maybe if you asked nicely, I would tell you."

"I guess we will never find out." He slowly let go of her hips, that wicked half mile on his lips, his eyes glistening with heat and laughter. His hand found the lock behind her and the door clicked open.

Before Beth could even have the opportunity to go he kissed her again. A prolonged swept of his tongue followed by a teasing pull on her bottom lip. Only then spun her around and pushed out the door. Beth was still half dazed when he palmed her derriere playfully. "I won't be long."

Then he closed the door on her blushed face. Beth shook her head, she was so doomed, this was a terrible idea. She was starting to suspect there was nothing to assist with and he just wanted to fuck with her or fuck her, possibly both. She wouldn't last till the end of the day… he'd barely touched her and she was melting.

Bernard, the manager, was cleaning glasses behind the counter which Beth approached carefully, "I know you're closed but would it be much to ask for a Shirley Temple?"

He smiled, "No, not at all." He played with the ginger ale and grenadine in a tall glass filled with ice, "I remember you."

Beth leaned over the bar counter confused, "Uh?"

He placed the drink in front of her and dropped a cherry in it, "You came here a while ago… you ordered bourbon, unusual for a lady."

"Oh! Gosh, you have a good memory, that was ages ago." Beth said, taking a sip from the straw, "Six years ago to be precise. I guess you were the bartender, sorry I'm terrible with faces/names..."

"After the amount of tequila you and Rio drank, I was surprised to see you march away walking, it would have been a miracle if you remembered my face." He smiled and kept cleaning glasses.

Beth cleared her throat and stirred her drink casually, "So, Rio was a regular?"

The cleaning motion stopped and he stared at her for the longest time, she held her breath until he finally asked, "Am I gonna get in trouble if I answer that?" Aren't you like his wife or something?"

Beth laughed, "No, you won't get in trouble. I'm just curious."

He shrugged, "I've seen him a couple times before that, but he came in frequently after that night, then he bought the place and made me manager."

Beth took another sip and another look around, "You guys did some changes since, I like the pool tables." She took the drink with her and grabbed a cue from the rack. It had been a while since she last played, but when she smashed the cue ball the black 8-ball when straight into the net. She played for a while but her mind was on Rio, not only he acquired the bar but before that he used to come in regularly. Eventually, when she grows the balls to tell him about Emma, it was going to make her explanation that she had no idea how to find him even more irrational, she might have not remembered him completely, but the reality was that she could have dug a bit to find out more. The truth was she choose not to. It might have passed has omission before, but now she was blatantly hiding it. The consequences of her choices never felt heavier over her shoulders.

Beth bent over the table for a particularly difficult hit to reach, Rio's voice behind almost made her miss her shot. Almost.

"Damn sweetheart, I get so distracted with your... front... that I'm afraid I neglect that fine backside of yours way too much."

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," Beth said aiming another shot and finding the net again.

"Are seedy bars your native habitat? You drink like a pro and look way too comfortable with that stick in your hands." He quipped, getting closer to her.

"Yeah, I started to frequent bars when I was 14, get wasted, and play pool all night long."

"Really? 'Cause that sounds more like your sister than you." He said doubtful.

Beth chuckled and bent over the table again, "Well, you are not wrong, but I'd still kick her ass at pool." Skipping class in college to spend time in Dean's frat house, drinking cheap wine and having bad drunk sex and even more frequent strip-pool that ended up in more sex, had definitely helped picking up her game, "Watch the 6 downstairs."

Rio stood behind her and placed his hands on her hips, "I have no idea what that means, but I like you like this... very much."

"What are you doing?" She asked with a frown, trying to keep her concentration and her aim, while his hands skimmed over her buttocks.

"Just correcting my mistake and giving more attention to your fine ass." He hummed softly in her ear, basically leaning over her back.

"If you're trying to distract me, you're gonna have to try harder." Beth took the shot and it went straight into the hole. She turned with a smug smile, but this was Rio, and he wasn't letting her have the last word. He erased the smugness from her lips with a heated kiss that left her legs shaky and her core quivering. Somewhere, along the way, she dropped the cue, 'cause her hands were wrapped around his neck, his gold chain was creating indentations on her palms and his hairline was tickling her fingertips. Rio had slid his own hands under her cashmere sweater and his fingers under the jeans waistline, quite a feat since those were skinny jeans. But Beth wasn't complaining, not when he kneaded just the right spot to make her moan.

Bella, the bull terrier came running out of nowhere and started demanding Rio's attention, by stuffing her head between their legs and jumping on them with half whines half barks.

"Told you she was jealous, but I don't mind my girls being a bit green." He smiled removing his hands from her ass, "The timing is unfortunately good, we gotta get going." He added grabbing her jacket open for her, she slid her arms in. Then he petted Bella and said stay in such a commanding tone that even Beth stood still for a second.

"Where are we going?" She asked as he grabbed her hand and nodded towards Bernard, who Beth had completely forgotten about, the knowing smile on his lips made Beth turn red like a stop light, "Err, thank you for the drink… bye, Bella."

Once they were in the car he finally answered, "We're going to have lunch."

The seatbelt clicked and Beth pursed her lips, "I thought you need my help, so far I assisted you in what exactly?"

The heated gaze he spared her told her she should have kept her mouth shut, "I could really use your assistance with the hard on you gave me but I'd guess you ain't up for it, yet. So you're gonna help me with lunch... unless you wanna go back in and I'll show you exactly why I said no momma shirts." Beth scoffed and crossed her arms over her boobs, feeling very naked even under so much layering, to which he laughed, "That's what I thought."

He started the car and drove away, it didn't take long to arrive at a underground parking in the city centre, they took an elevator up and walked a short distance hand in hand to a restaurant, Beth's mouth almost hanged when she saw it was Criniti's. It was nearly impossible to get a reservation to the trendy rooftop Italian restaurant, Dean had tried a couple years ago for their wedding anniversary only to be asked if he wanted to make a booking for next year. But Rio walked to the waiting maitre said reservation under D'Aguila, and dropped a roll of cash on the stand. The maitre smiled and stashed the money in his pocket, "Ah, yes. Right this way, Mr. D'Aguila. I have the table you requested."

They followed the maitre and Rio pulled a chair out for her and helped her out of the coat and ordered champagne. This was probably the best table on the restaurant, it offered and opulent view of the city skyscrapers marring the horizon line, it was beautiful.

"Are we celebrating?" She asked once the maitre left them.

"Just follow my lead, and wear out that pretty smile of yours, we're here to be seen." He replied barely lifting his eyes from the menu.

"Seen?" She almost screeched, "As in FBI seen? I told you I don't want to make noise less be seen."

"Relax and smile, baby. I told you not to worry about the FBI. How are the kids?" He asked with an unconcerned smile, "Did Emma find any more monsters in her room?"

Beth closed her hanging mouth, and picked her own menu, "The kids are great, they actually asked about you and I didn't know what to say, so you're my friend. In case they ask something. You did a good job, we were free from monsters... for a couple of weeks."

His smirk broadened, "Is that a subtle way to ask me to swing by and scared them away again?"

Beth raised her eyes from the words she was having a hard time focusing on reading, "I think at this stage is pretty clear you make your own invitations. Anywhere."

"I'm not known for being subtle. I'm cautious but I go straight for what I want. You kicked your husband out yet? If subtleness ain't working I can help you out."

Beth held her tongue as the maitre came with the champagne and filled the flute glasses, Rio smirked wider, taunting her with his dark gaze, then ordered a antipasto platter for them, and asked if she'd want some wine, and when the waitress took their order she'd had barely looked at the menu, so she ordered the first thing her eyes laid on, some kind of pasta with seafood.

Once they were left alone she finally spoke, "Dean is sick, I'm not doing anything until he is better." _Or Dead._

"Are you sure he is sick?" He asked softly from under the rim of his flute.

The question surprised her, "He has cancer…"

"He wouldn't be the first guy to play the sick card to keep the wife."

"And you must think I'm stupid and naive?" She retorted with slanted eyes.

Perhaps now wasn't the ideal moment to inform her about her husband's affairs, her defensiveness was an obvious tell that he was undermining her, "No, I think he is resourceful, and I would dare to say smart even. He fished you out of the pond after all, that takes skill."

The trademark half-smile that just got under her nerves. Only Rio to insult and compliment her within the same sentence. "I went with him to the oncologist, he's on radiation treatment and never-ending pills. And maybe for you, it wouldn't be a problem to leave the partner of a lifetime in such a difficult moment but regardless of what that night between us might have seemed to you, marriage for me means more than a physical response, marriage takes more than love."

"Is that what you told yourself when you woke up that morning? Just a mistake you needed to erase for the sake of marriage? 'Cause what would I know about love, family and responsibility, right?" He retorted slightly angry, then scoffed, "You're so fuckin' self-righteous."

Beth clenched her jaw, the blow had been unexpected but completely truthful. Every coin has two sides and not even once she thought about his side of the story or what that night meant to him. _She couldn't do this, she wasn't wasn't ready for what all this meant._ "I shouldn't have come." She was halfway up when his calm voice froze her in place.

"Elizabeth, sit down. Please." She did, slowly. He sighed, "I'm sorry. You do what's best for your family, in the end, it's all that matters."

"No, you're right. I am a self-righteous bitch, just ask my sister." She smiled sadly, "But I couldn't call our night together a mistake, I don't regret it. And I didn't see your note that morning..." He tensed his jaw and Beth knew he didn't believe her, "I don't know what you wrote or if it had made any difference in the outcome, but this between us... it can't be."

"I didn't ask you to run away into the sunset with me, it was never like that, Elizabeth. Early, you asked me if I feel it too? I know what you were talking about, _this_ , between us is different. So don't tell me _this_ can't be, that _this_ ain't right. You feel it, and I don't seem to do anythin' else but think about you, to feel you. But... fuck sweetheart, I also know you're hiding something from me, and I ain't letting you in, neither I'm letting you go 'til I find what it is."

She started to play with her glass, admiring the bubbles rising to the top, because it was too hard to face him, "I… I-I'm sorry, Rio. I can't change the past but I can't do this either. Please don't make me. Let me go."

He grabbed her hand, the gut-wrenching plead crushed his heart, she sounded and felt so wounded that Rio started to doubt his aggressive methods, at the same time he knew she wasn't a woman to be cuddled, she had way to much spunk for that, "I can't do that. Not until I know who you really are. Because on the outside you look like the woman I met six years ago, sometimes you act exactly like her, sometimes you're somebody else. You confuse me, you tease me… burn me, and sometimes you fuckin' scare me. Tell me why, Elizabeth."

She shook her head, "I-I just... Alot has happened since that night. I… I'm not the same. I'm not sure I was all that you seemed to have seen in me…" Her lungs were squeezed tight and she was fighting to keep the tears from falling, "I'm not worth all this trouble. I'm nobody. I'm nothing."

He scooted to the chair next to her and cradled her cheek with his tan hand, his eyes were dark with anger, not at her but at her words. "Don't. You're so fuckin' wrong."

Then he kissed her. His soft lips were like a cushion for her battered soul, his tongue slid over her wounds sealing them, his taste healing. His breath stirred her flame and made it burn bright and cleansing.

She didn't know how long they were kissing, it might have been an eternity, until he finally broke the intense kiss with tiny but lengthened pecks over her tears, her hand covered his over her cheek, a tight clasp around his thick wrist, 'cause she was afraid to float away, she was feeling light as a feather but his next words weighted her down, falling heavily in her heart.

"Don't tell me that ain't worth." His voice was raw and making sinful things happen in her already fluttering lower belly. "Don't tell me you're nobody, you're a mother, a very good one. Don't tell me you're nothing when you're everythin' I've always wanted."

Beth was glad when the waitress came with the antipasto platter and the maitre with the bottle of wine, she quickly excused herself.

"Elizabeth…" He got up from his chair, his tone a warning.

"I'll be right back," she replied not bothering to stop, she fast strode into the bathroom. A lady left as she walked in and she almost swept the woman off her feet. When she was alone in the marbled floor to ceiling bathroom, she looked in the mirror, her makeup was all messed up and in her throat was lodged a tennis size ball.

 _What was she supposed to say to something like that?_ If she told him the truth, if he really saw her... would he look at her like that ever again? He wanted her and she was far from being immune to him... but she wasn't even sure she could give him her body, she was nothing like that night he so much liked to remind her about, she was maimed and so, so tainted.

Opening her purse to refresh her makeup Beth saw the pills, her heart hammered in her chest and her mouth dried up, she could make it all go away. But if she took a pill, it wasn't just the bad going away, the good would too. Rio made her feel good, unlike when she took the pills for momentary relief, Rio made her feel right all the time. He wasn't a quick fix, he restored her. She was the one holding back, with her stupid dares and dares not, half-truths and lies.

She was walking but not going anywhere... God, she was a fool, like one of those people going the wrong way on the moving walkway in airports, she was fighting the inevitable. There were two ways this could go, she could keep walking against the tide until she eventually tired and crashed into him, probably breaking... or she could turn around and embrace her destiny, maybe if she braced him tightly enough she would be able to avoid the nasty fall.

She wasn't ready but she had to go back there and face it. She was in love with a man she didn't know, a man she had no idea how to love, a man who looked at her like she was the sun in the sky, blinded.

Beth was sure the only way to exhume her fears was to come clean. She just wasn't sure where to start. When she finished with the eyeliner, she looked intently at the projected image of herself.

Perhaps starting on herself was the best.

"I don't want to be you anymore." She said to the image, placing the eyeliner back in her purse and enclosing it with the temptation of the pills.

/*/*/*/

Rio watched her almost run over the lady coming out of the bathroom. That car-man fucker had bruised her self-worth, deeply. Undermined her, controlled her and she still defended him, believing she owed him something. He had seen it all before, his own mother had been in a relationship like that, he believed the term was gaslighting. He had probably been doing it forever slippering subtle microaggression right under her nose and their night had only given him more juice to manipulate her.

Dean fucking Boland, under that stupid face was a cunning man.

Rio hadn't forgotten her bruised and bloodshot eye and although the explanation seemed truthful, less could he forget the way she'd flinched, the way someone would do when expected to be hit. He knew she could be scared of him, but that night there was no guns, no threats, no reason… she had acted by pure instinct.

Just thinking about the possibility it made him see red. Motherfuckers like that deserved to die, just like his piece of shit stepfather did. He had prodded Annie subtly about it on one of the meetings without Beth. Annie had been a resourceful fountain of information, she was loose-lipped, not exactly good for business, but he was more interested in what she had to say about her sister and her husband. She didn't like him, that much was obvious, but she didn't seem to think him a threat, he was an ass but he was a good father, blah blah blah.

Good people took care of their own, and he wasn't taking care of Elizabeth. If the motherfucker was physically hurting her, there was no father of the year award to save Dean Boland, he would kill him with his bare hands… after ripping his ball sack. A real man knows a woman's worth, there was no justification for any kind of violence against one's partner. The body heals but the soul… he needed to make sure she and her kids were safe, then he could worry about the rest, because his gut told him there was something else. He didn't like to be burned, and she had done so repeatedly.

He was nibbling the olives when she reached the table, seemingly composed she seated graciously and tasted the wine.

"Hmm, this wine is great."

Rio almost chuckled at her attempt at a return to pleasantries. God, she was so beautiful, ripe and womanly yet there was this childish cuteness powered by that girly tone, it made him smile, made him want to scoop her in his arms and shield her from harm. Her kid, Emma, did that to him too, maybe it was what made her seem so familiar. "You should try the olives, I think they might blow your mind."

He didn't wait for an answer grabbed one between his fingers and fed it to her, he saw a spark lit in her blue eyes, those kissable lips parted and her white teeth bit into the olive, her lips circled the pad of his finger and his dick throbbed with the reminder of them around the tip of his cock instead. His voice came out strained, "Good?"

"Hmmm, yes but the wine is better," She replied with a smile, her cheeks had acquired that pink tone that fascinated him.

"Here, try the bread." He said dipping the Italian bread in the mixture of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, then again fed it to her mouth, she hummed with delight and he decided to rip the band-aid off. "Elizabeth, there nothing more than I want but sit and have a nice lunch with you, but I need to ask you something and I want the truth."

The pink on her cheeks gave way to paleness, "Rio, can we just not do this right now? All those things you said... I'm trying to process all of it… I don't even know you and all these things I'm feeling... I can't make sense of it, it's too much…" She was babbling and turning pink again, "No more questions that I can't answer. Please, just give me today."

Rio studied her for a long moment, her eyes pleading, "Okay, then... let's play a game. We ask questions to each other, we can refuse to answer but, it comes with a consequence."

She puffed and rolled her eyes at him, "So, you wanna play Truth or Dare? You know you're fucking impossible, right?"

Rio gave her his devilish half-smile and goaded her, "And you said you don't know anything about me." The sound of her laugh gave him pleasure beyond imaginable, "I'm an open book darlin', ask away."

"Wait, we should set a limit on the number of questions."

"Okay... six questions for six years, but negotiable at the end."

She slanted her eyes and picked her glass of wine, still chuckling from the six for six, "This seems too easy, you aren't trying to trick me, are you?"

"If this was a game of pool I would absolutely try and trick you but it ain't, so no, I'm not." He smirked smugly, "My turn."

"WHAT? That wasn't my question!" She said outraged.

"You asked me and I answered. Fair and square." Rio riposted smugly.

"Fair and square my ass! That was a complete steal!"

Rio picked up his glass and clinked it with hers, "Your ass is very fair, but has nothin' on square, sweetheart. You have the perfect buns to land a loss, don't be a sore loser. Besides we can negotiate...there are plenty of things I wouldn't mind to trade for a question."

She scoffed and crossed her arms under her breasts, his eyes followed with interest the little bounce, and she blushed again, "Go on, ask your question."

"Alright… How did you end up with that dickhead?"


	10. Truths, Dares and Consequences Pt2

1st apologies for taking so long, 2nd apologies if this seems fragmented, I wrote snips here and there during this whole waiting time, I hope I made sense of myself. But I just didn't leave you guys waiting any longer.

And it's going to be a 3 part chapter after all. Again still very busy, it's almost over! Hang in there, I'm hanging with ya guys.

We seeing a bit of Rio's backstory, also Ruby/Beth/Dean.

Thank you for all your comments and support, you da best! Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Rio could see that the question surprised her but her eyes glistened with laughter, "Okay, that's easy enough... but first, his name his Dean, not dickhead or car-man."

Rio shrugged, "My list of names grows longer every time I see some shit he was stupid enough to dismiss."

Beth took a sip from her wine, "We met in college, he was a senior, handsome, made me laugh with his charming goofiness and knew what he wanted. I never knew what I wanted, it attracted me that he had his shit together." She paused for a second, her look vacant, "My father was a bum all his life so I guess it gave me a sense of security that he had everything planned, when he started to include me in his plans... one thing led to another… the sex was by far the best I ever had, he seemed to tick all the boxes, I was in love so when he asked I said yes... four kids and almost 20 years later and here we are."

"Did you even finished college, or did he took you away with him?" His tone came out harsh and Rio noticed how she tensed immediately, her blue gaze hardening like steel.

"It wasn't like that… my mother died, I had to take care of Annie, it was my responsibility, Dean sacrificed alot for me. Stop talking about it like you know the situation, you don't know shit... you don't know Dean and you don't fucking know me."

A heavy silence fell over them, she withdrew back into her seat and Rio took a sip from his wine while she played with the fork over the tablecloth, pricking her indicator on the sharp point absently. He had to tread carefully here, losing his temper over a love that he knew to be long gone was the worse thing he could do, he didn't want her to close the crack on the door right when he was trying to slide in.

"To me, it sounds like he gave you busted white picket fences while you gave him 20 years of your life, true sacrifice would have kept you in college, find out what you wanted and give you what you needed." Rio shook his head, "Like I said, the list grows longer."

She nibbled at the cheese musing. He wasn't wrong, not entirely. For the longest time, Beth thought that Dean was her foundation and her roof, that leaning on him and keep everything to his tune was part of the fairy tale, that they had it all. She was beginning to suspect that that was never the case, even when things were "good", the first 10 years, when she'd considered herself _madly in love_ with her husband, were a faint pastel sunset compared to the bright burning colours she felt with Rio.

 _Who are you?_ Like a branding iron, his question was engraved in her. Along her journey, not knowing who she truly was she'd had tried to be someone else, rejig into a mould that wasn't made to fit her, even when it meant to dislodge parts of herself.

With Rio, she didn't have to be somebody else, in fact, she couldn't. Not showing her true-self was proving more difficult throughout a couple of hours with him than 20 years of playing make-believe. In search of perfection she'd made herself full of flaws, sins and mistakes.

She'd demolished the bridges connecting her to Ruby. Annie was a mess and Beth was never able to help her, not completely the sister she wanted, nor quite the mother figure she'd needed. She'd wrecked her marriage, more or less. And she even managed to mar the only thing she was half good at, motherhood. She was choosing to place her children in the path of possible danger.

Beth scoffed. God, her life choices hadn't seemed this pathetic when she made them at the time. "Perhaps you could have spared me if you had frequented seedy bars with pool tables more often." She quipped dully, then her blue eyes dilated, horrified as a thought grew in her mind, "Or not... God, how old are you? And that's a real question this time."

He chuckled, "Should I remind you that I don't have to answer."

"Are you pussying out already?" She goaded, "What happened to being an open book?"

His smirk widened and his dark orbs glistened, the banter reminded him of that night, reminded him of Isabella, "Maybe I'm just curious on how daring you are."

Rio saw the exact moment she realized she'd fallen into a trap. She quickly tried to hide her disconcert but it was too late.

"You want a dare? Over telling me your age? Really?"

"I have plenty of suggestions if you are having a problem coming up in somethin'..." He offered.

"Like what?" She leaned closer, seductively and his heart skipped a beat… or two... fuck, she was so fucking gorgeous, those huge and profound blue orbs... it felt like he was drowning... in pure lust.

With his best and wicked half-smile, he provoked her, "I could make you cum in under two minutes, right now, right here."

She quirked one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows, "That would be interesting in the least… undo your fly."

"Undo my fly? Is that your dare?"

"Undo your pants fly." She repeated slowly, holding her smile by biting into her lower lip, Rio's eyes followed the movement and darkened with desire, she had the most intriguing lips.

Gazing into her eyes, he did so, the belt clink wasn't enough to cover the hard swallow and her stormy eyes dropped to his neck following the movement of his Adam's apple, the lower lip slid temptingly from the grasp of her teeth and his erection grew to an excruciating full mast.

 _Damn_. He hadn't foreseen this, he had expected her to chicken out, once again he had underestimated her play. "What now, sweetheart?"

She leaned over his ear, her breathy voice, blasted, white-hot down his spine, "Now, I'll make a stain in your underwear."

Rio was convinced his dick might explode as she slid her hand up his thigh, her fingers skimming over the waistband, the slight touch over his abs made him shiver, forcing him to contain a groan. She hooked her fingers on the elastic and he thought heaven was assuredly close... that was until she dropped a couple of ice cubes in his underwear. The elastic band made a pop over his skin as she quickly released it. Rio jumped on his seat and sucked in the air in his lungs while the ice melted all over his family jewels.

Beth leaned back into her chair chuckling and took a sip from her wine, eyes slanted maliciously, "What's the matter, _Señor D'Aguila_? Cat got your tongue?"

He hissed, "That was mean."

She winked and laughed, "That was fair game. No need to be a sore loser, there is more ice from where that came from."

Rio sucked his teeth, _yeah in the champagne bucket, clever minx_. He licked his lips, trying not to smile as he buttoned his jeans and belt, "I'm far from sore, sweetheart. I'm aching and throbbing, but there ain't enough ice in this world to help me when you are the cure, and the cause." Now it was his turn to lean closer to her, "My turn… Why did you lie 'bout your name? Why Isabella?"

Beth shifted in her seat but held his dark eyes, "God, I don't know, it just kinda came out. Let's be honest, who gives their real name to a hunky leering stranger in a questionable bar? And it wasn't exactly a lie, Isabella/Elizabeth, is the same."

"Hunky stranger, huh?" He raised his eyebrows, the devilish half-smile melting her away faster than those ice cubes melted in his pants. _God, he was so seductive_. Beth was sure he could make a girl cum just by reciting the ABC's in that thickset drawl, let alone what he could do with two whole minutes.

"You forgot leering." She said breathless, just as his lips touched hers.

He brought her closer, hand extending deep in her curls, her breasts compressed tight against his hard chest while he devoured her mouth. She wasn't sure if it was her heart beating or his, but she unearthed a melody. A croon, reverberating from her chest all the way down there, deep in her core. His musky scent swoon over her. His stubble bit into her soft skin pleasantly. His taste, briny from the olives and earthy from the wine. His touch was demanding, relentless but not brutal. It was the ultimate sensorial experience, only she was not satisfied, she needed more... for the first time, in a remarkably long while, Beth wished to be touched, to be loved the only way a man and woman can, to be filled the only way he could fulfil her.

When Rio pulled away, she was breathless, but so was he. He was so giddy, that he had to keep her close. Her dazed and passion darkened orbs slowly opened as he caressed her lips with his thumb, "You say you have changed, but your kiss still takes me to Zion. Your embrace, soft and warming as I remember. Your tongue, still sharp and quick as a wasp. Your venom, sweet as ever but somehow even more intoxicating than before. You're still my Isabella, but it's _Elizabeth_ who I'm looking for."

"Rio, you don't know what you're saying...don't." Beth looked away from the intensity of his obsidian glare, it was impairing. He somehow schooled her and yet, compromised her judgment. _Why didn't he just hurt her like everyone else, why this bittersweet torture, why didn't he just stay away from the foulness he sensed in her, why do this to both of them?_

Her conscience kicked the back of her mind, indifferent as ever. _Don't be stupid, Beth. It is too good to be true. He's just playing you in a losing game. And you're a damn idiot 'cause your falling like a wingless butterfly._

"Don't what? Try and paint your picture? You could make this easier, just show me."

"What if I pull a Dorian Gray on you?" She retorted.

He chuckled amused, "Hmm... true, your beauty is timeless but I don't recall you selling me your soul. Tho, if you want... I sure don't mind to sin with you, sweetheart."

Beth puffed, "You really are impossible."

"Impossibly hunky?" He asked all smiles.

Beth rolled her eyes, "You'll never let that go, will you? I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut."

He regarded her from behind his half-lidded provocative eyes, and crooked his head to the side... pure guile, "C'mere. I'll teach you how."

She didn't need to do anything, he was already on her. The kiss was pure ecstasy. She was high on his taste, aflame by his touch. Only a devil like him to make a kiss this puissant. Especially when he indecently began working his tongue in and out, allusively fucking her mouth, sweet and slow. It was so fucking erotic that Beth could swear she felt the wet strokes, tickling, all the way to down on her clit.

"Y-you need to stop!" She mumbled as he pulled at her upper lip, suddenly aware of where they were, "Everyone is looking at us."

"Let's put on a good show then."

Her kiss was vinous, needy… esurient, and man… he was game. She took his breath, greedily, like a vampiress would suck blood from the vein. He was spellbound by her siren song, enthralled in her womanly curves, aroused by the familiar and thoroughly intrigued with the unknown.

She had no idea of her power... she was his weakness, the one flaw… and goddamn her but he just couldn't keep it to himself. He didn't understand how she could make him this bare when she was so hard to uncover.

He would peel away one layer only to be thwarted by another. It was frustrating, maddening, tiring… elusive. She had smeared a slick and slippery coat all over herself, he'd melted through thick steel and now he was tackling a solid concrete wall, from the small fissure he'd created he could see the brick ahead. Only God knew what was awaiting after.

He was keyed up, horny AF, his patience draining out... but, fuck, he would reach her. Staunch, there was no letting go... she could be the finest reward or the greatest disappointment he'd ever had. Either way, he had to put an end to this consuming madness.

Rio felt as she turned suddenly cold and stiff against his lips, she quickly pulled away and cleared her throat, "Are you gonna tell me why are we here? Is an operation happening? Is someone getting killed? And maybe... you need an alibi? Is that the genuine reason behind this _show_?"

He cocked his head, a smug smile on his lips as he sat back, "What if it was?"

Her eyes flared with rebellion, her pouty lips formed a tight line but just as she was about to fire the main course came, their wine glasses refilled by the waitress, while Rio was being bombarded with deadly stares during the whole process.

"I don't like to be used." She hissed once they were alone, her wine threatening to spill as she grabbed the glass brusquely.

"For someone so clever you can be dense as fuck." He returned amused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The stank eye was as adorable as it was entertaining.

"You're getting everything wrong, sweetheart. I'm not using you, I simply don't trust you. You will know when I need you to know."

Beth sighed and looked at him frankly, "I don't know what to think anymore. You're ambiguous with your words and obfuscate me with your actions. You say things, do things, I don't expect. You say you don't trust me but I can't trust myself near you."

"At least we are sailing on the same boat, sweetheart. A mysterious conundrum, me and you." He presented her with his devastating half-smile, "Eat, no one thinks clearly on an empty stomach."

Beth picked up the fork and played with her food, it smelled and looked fantastic but she was unsure how she was going to eat when her stomach was in knots, she always said more than she should in his presence. The words gravitating out of her mouth with the force of his magnetic pull. Not only he attracted her physically, but he was smart and fly, she enjoyed their banter way too much, he wooed and ignited her in every way imaginable, even inciting her aggressive side. He could also burn like frostbite, his wisdom sometimes bitter and callous, perhaps something to do with the kind of life he lived.

"Question… How did you get into this _business_?" She asked as he forked half a pumpkin ravioli. Beth observed the erotic movement of his mouth, even eating he was feline gracious, his moves artful and precise yet there was a greediness in his eye. Her mouth went dry, and heat spread, ravaging through her veins, she had seen that look before… that night, when his head was between her legs and he'd tasted her.

Beth shifted uncomfortably in her chair as he leered at her, like he could read what was in her mind. "Eat." He drawled. Beth grabbed the spoon and rolled a mouthful of pasta over it, more than anything else because she had to do something to distract herself from the pulsating need between her legs. Only when she brought the fork to her mouth, he seemed satisfied.

"Family. My father rolled high with MS-13 in LA, he had international connections, trafficking, extortion and embezzlement were his specialties. My mom tried to keep me out of it, we moved here when I was about five. They had a complicated relationship, they weren't together but in a way they always were. She remarried and I only saw him a couple of times during my childhood, but nice presents would be dropped by on my birthday, appear mysteriously under the Christmas tree, things we couldn't afford. They never told me but I always knew he was my father. When I was 12, I got myself on a bus and made my way to Cali. Moms went crazy, obviously, when I got out of the bus he was there waiting for me, after that she couldn't keep me away. Here is the thing, this business... _this life_ is like blood, thicker than anythin', it sings to you, you can't deny it... you crave it."

Beth knew one or two things about cravings, in fact, her upset stomach and the nervous tapping of her feet might just be a warning. Nevertheless, she was surprised that he started at such a tender age, "You have been doing this since you were 12?"

He chuckled, "Sweetheart, I was in business ever since I can call myself me. By fifth grade I had a whole network going, I convinced all the geeks to sell me their homework then I would resell copies."

Beth laughed, his sweet grin disarming her, "Hey! Don't laugh... that's how I got my first kiss. Samantha Perkins, a 7th grader I had a crush on, usually I would take candy as payment if I was feeling benevolent, but that day I only took her kisses. I even created my own currency but got caught, my ears still hurt from my moms pulling."

Beth laughed harder, "I see pulling ears didn't work out for you, but.. wow, monopolizing since circa?"

His eyes glistened with mirth, and he smirked, "Cheeky... but since you been such a good sport, I'll tell you...1988.

Beth slanted her eyes as she chewed another mouthful of the delicious and cooked to perfection pasta, "88'? That can't be right? That would make you what... 39/40? You don't look a day over early thirties!"

He shrugged, "You know what they say, brown don't frown. But in truth, the secret is that I never sleep with my makeup on." Beth almost blew wine out of her nose as she cracked laughing. The humour quickly gave way to heavy tension, "You don't laugh nearly enough." He added.

Beth chuckled, "Gotta avoid those pesky wrinkles, not all of us were blessed with such good genes."

He hummed invitingly, "No, you were blessed with the curves of a goddess, the pose of a queen and the most dazzling laugh."

Trying to overcome butterflies that fluttered, obstinately, in her lower belly, Beth, felt more like a teen nervously facing her first crush than a poised queen, but the longing guzzling at her was certainly that of a grown woman, "If I didn't know any better I would say you're trying to seduce me."

"The real question is if I need to." He countered to Beth's calamity, she had no response for that. She was swept away, caught, in the downhill flow of sensuality emanating intensely from him, not that she needed to say shit... the blush that spread all over her face spoke for itself. "You know what else is said? When words become superfluous, a kiss is a lovely trick." He continued, drawl thick and lingering, "And baby, I could kiss your lips all day, but I know of other places where you're even sweeter."

Beth grabbed her wine and tried to think of something to say, but her brain was failing her as much as her will. _Oh God, what was she going to do?_ _So much for resisting and fighting... fuck, all she wanted to do was drop her panties, right here, and make him put his mouth where his words were. She knew what he could give her. She wanted it... him. Mostly, Beth knew herself, when she was in... she was deep, there was no half, no quarter... it was whole. And with Rio it couldn't be any other way, but she was not ready to give herself. With so much dirty between them, it was hard to say if she would ever be. She was an absolute disgrace, how hard could it be to do the right thing? Why did everything had to be so grey and fuzzy?_

He smirked, "Got nothin' to say? I'm gon' start thinking you want that kiss after all."

"How about you ask me your next question and we eat in peace?" She returned.

Rio licked his lips in his usual shtick, "So much for being a good sport." He teased her, "But fair enough… Tell me 'bout your childhood, were you always this uptight?"

"I'm not uptight." She retorted, his smug half-smirk told her he didn't agree. _Thank God he couldn't read her mind after all, uptight people didn't wish to be pussy eaten in public spaces._ "I was quite the tomboy actually, that was until I got more interested in boys than their activities. I was always getting Ruby in all kinds of trouble," Beth sneered morosely, "I guess I still am."

"You guys grew up together."

"Yeah, we pretty much lived at each other's houses. We are a couple months apart, more than my bestie, she was my little sister until Annie came along. Quite the odd mix but it worked, she taught me how to braid hair, while I showed her how to climb trees, she'd school me R&B and Hip Hop along with Tupac and Lauryn Hill, while I introduced her to metal via Slayer and Slipknot." Beth chuckled at the memories, "We eventually found the middle ground with Lenny Kravitz. We got drunk for the first time together, were bridesmaids at each other's weddings, were there when our kids were born… you know, family… aunt Ruby is the favourite aunt, just don't let Annie know." Beth added with a smile.

"Wait a minute… you were a goth chick? I could buy tomboy but... Goth?" He chuckled, "Nah man, no way."

Beth laughed, "I made a pretty cute goth FYI." _Except when she shaved the back of her head, that had been a terrible mistake._

His smile died, "You serious?" Beth hummed into her wine in response, "Shit… You would have been the perfect big tiddy goth girlfriend… I like to think things happen when they have to, but damn, where have you been all my life?"

Beth cackled, "I've been asking myself that same question." A timeless silence passed between while something magnetic and heady exchanged, "You know what else buggers me? How sometimes it feels I've known you forever... yet, I know so little about you."

His stunning half-smile was one of approval, "You still have three questions, but let's leave that for dessert, food gettin' cold."

To Beth's surprise he turned the conversation back to her kids, asking if she'd gotten a tutor for Kenny, by the time she was finished with her pasta - which was fantastic - she'd had possibly told him how much each of her babies weighed at birth, when they lost their first tooth, the most surprising and embarrassing questions she'd been asked and bragged about their achievements... for the most insignificant they were, like Jane being the most amazing forest tree in last year's school play, or Emma scoring her first perfect ballet pirouette plié in 5th. He didn't stop her babbling once, he actually seemed interested, which wasn't exactly a surprise, he liked children - _he liked her children_ \- his eyes always warming up, especially if they were talking about Emma.

She placed her cutlery down, unable to wait anymore, she asked the question that had been burning on her brain for the longest time, "Do you have children?"

"Nah," The dejected tone of his voice squeezed Beth's heart tight. "There was this girl about 3 years ago, I was ready to tight the knot, have me a couple of babies. But then I got caught in the middle of gang rivalry, things got ugly…"

The marred skin over his abs and the and the rugged scar under his ribs, she'd seen when changing his bandage in her kitchen, came to her mind, "You got hurt."

He nodded, "My father paid me a visit, there was a prize on his head and he needed my help, I agreed to get him out of the country… we were saying our goodbyes, just as he opened the car door, everything went to shit, someone had planted a bomb. I got away with a few broken bones, some flying shrapnel... he wasn't as lucky. It was the last straw, she knew the risks, understood what I did, but most of the time she couldn't stand it, especially when I got into a thirsty rampage for revenge, our relation fell through pretty quickly after that."

"I'm sorry." The words came out ragged, strangled. Beth wanted to assure that he still had plenty of time to have children but that would make her nothing more than a hypocrite, more than being sorry, she wanted to tell him the truth.

"Don't be, it was for the best, I don't think we would have made it… there was this strawberry blonde Reina that I couldn't take out of mind." He added with a teasing wink.

Gabriella had been as different from Elizabeth as he could find, it was like he chose her on purpose, picking her by finger and design. Although sex was good, it wasn't consuming. She was kind, and a beautiful, joyful little thing, but not particularly bright. Her skin as dark as Elizabeth's was alabaster, nevertheless just as velvety. Her hair long, thick and full of ringlets, still when he dug his hand into her scalp he would think of Beth's blazing light curls. Her body small and fit, the pear-shaped breasts were perky and tasted fresh, but he couldn't stop dreaming about another woman's lush curves, sweet honeyed cunt and waspy tongue. Gabriella was a good woman, but not the woman for him.

It wasn't the first time that he mentioned his _obsession_ with her, but it still threw her like the first time, her strength was plundered and her heart ransacked. Their chemistry had always been - _was_ \- of the charts, but he couldn't… it wasn't possible... "You once said you wanted everything from me, that you could give me everything… what makes you think you know what I want, when even I don't know it?"

He sneered at her, "That's a question I ain't sure you're ready for the answer."

"You think you love me." She stated softly, not quite meeting his eyes.

All the mockery vanished from his features, "I don't know what else to call it. Even when I can't trust you…" He snickered, "Everyone keeps sayin' love is blind but I think it is deaf and dumb. I see you and I still want you."

He wasn't wrong about love, but Beth still believed it was blind. She held his gaze and laid down her defences, it was easier than she thought possible, but not less frightening, her heart started jackhammering, frenetic, when the words left her lips, "What do you see?"

His dark orbs undressed her bare in an instant, "I see a mother, tryin' to do the best for her children. I see a lover, a partner, a friend, a child. I see a rock, solid and stubborn. I see fire under a thin coat of ice, dangerous but so... so inviting. I see need and fright. I see scars. Shame and hurt. Strength and weakness. I see lies and secrets. Light, darkness.… Hope. I see a woman that deserves to be cherished, a fighter who needs a place to lay down her tired arms and just be. I see myself… I see you, Elizabeth."

 _Nude and exposed_. She had been stripped, she stood unclad, yet still mount by her lies. Her eyes filled with unshed tears, feeling weak but somehow strong, Beth took a large as life breath, "Rio, there is something I need…"

He grabbed her hand over the table and leaned closer, "Sorry, sweetheart, time ain't on our side. Hold that thought and follow my lead."

"What?" She asked completely confused, but then his lips were on hers. It was short but it lingered, soul-stirred, Beth was pretty sure she had forgotten her own name, let alone where she was.

She was still half dazed by his onyx survey, completely raw by emotions and the kiss when a clearing of throat interrupted them, Beth looked at the couple standing in front of their table…

"Why am I not surprised, D'Aguila." Was the man's acknowledgement, while his _companion_ clung to his arm, suffering from premature RBF*. Beth frowned, she knew them...

Rio flashed a snarky white tooth smirk, "Since you know you fucked up, it shouldn't."

Beth heard how the man swallowed dry, the initial cockiness quickly evaporated, that was when Beth recognized them… "Care to join us, Archer." It wasn't a question, and the infamous Mayor of Detroit and his very young, extremely beautiful and even more controversial new wife quickly proceeded to do Rio's _request_ after he'd introduced her _just_ as Elizabeth, there was no associate title adjoined to her name this time.

Not even six months after the mayoral elections, the elected mayor abandoned his wife of 22 years and two teenage daughters to marry his mistress, a 20-year-old not particularly successful bikini model. The media had gone crazy, the Republicans had gone bonkers demanding a resignation and re-election, but the Mayor stood his ground, saying his personal life was personal, and with the democratic party having his back, and - if the rumours were true - with the Detroit crime syndicate _supposedly_ filling his pockets and funding his campaign, Mike Archer was "protected" and exactly where they wanted him.

Beth was mildly shocked by what this meant, she always thought Rio was a solo guy, a King on its own with a few subjects. Maybe some kind of power-play was happening, or perhaps after the revelations of today, it might mean he instead was a usurper King with a large kingdom to rule after. A buzz started running through Beth's veins, whatever it was, the Mayor was the real motive behind this lunch, and she was about to witness how Rio _handled_ people who stepped on his toes. _The way he should have handled her._

"I don't like to wash my laundry in public, Rio." Archer said once the staff left them alone.

"Wise words to live by, you ain't doing a great job at it... unfortunately." Rio replied sardonic.

The mayor puffed red, "What do you mean?"

"Every Wednesday, without fail, you play your 8-holes of golf, have _one_ Guinness at the clubhouse and tip the bartender with a twenty. Twenty, is also the amount of time you give yourself to lick the ass of your game partners before making your way here and have lunch with your _wife_. The wife might have changed, but you Archer…" Rio sucked his teeth,"... you are a man of habits."

The beautiful blonde turned to Beth with a sigh, "Do you want to grab a drink at the bar?"

Beth was about to refuse, things were getting juicy, but Rio gave her a slight nod and Beth had to control herself not to pout. Reluctantly Beth muttered an okay and followed the ex-model. Not before giving Rio a stank eye.

Rio had almost smiled at the displeasure in Beth's features, if there were times he hated his job it was moments like this, where he had to choose between doing what was expected of him and follow his heart. God, he had her, and now he was afraid she just slippered from his grasp like fine sand. The fat prick in front of him had pulled the last cord, if there was one thing that he hated, was a man that let his dick rule over his brain. His shenanigans could cost Rio the access to Detroit's port, and millions in investments.

"Thought of any names yet?" Rio asked.

"Names? Names for what?" The mayor asked confused.

"For your new son. He's due in a few months." Mike Archer paled like the white-painted brick wall, Rio's smirk broadened, "Nicolette Johnson... She's a beautiful woman."

"I'm a happily married man," Mike uttered.

Rio hummed, "Which is why you booked your little liaison with a burner phone and used a prepaid credit card to pay for it. Which happens to be the same tactics you used when you were _courting_ your current wife, like I said Archer, you are a man of habits."

"I-If this becomes public... not even you can keep me as mayor… y-you need me." He babbled nervously.

Rio smiled coldly, "Which is why I arranged this meeting. Wasn't too long ago, you were a young turk out there, wanting to change the world. I invested in you when no one else would, it really hurt my feelings when I heard you were meeting with Nico Rascalov behind my back."

"Rio… c'mon, I-I'm on your side, you know that. I-I couldn't say no to meeting him, you know how these guys are, you are one of them for god's sake."

"I'm glad you remember who I am, Mike. 'Cause I won't give you another opportunity to fuck up. It will cost me money and you know how I hate to lose money, but there are at least another 20 fat fucks who could fill your shoes. Control your fuckin' dick and don't go 'round having meetings with my competitors." Rio got up and Mike Archer jumped on his seat as Rio slapped a stack on 100's on the table, "Have a nice lunch with your wife, Mr. Mayor. It's on me."

"What about Nicolette and… the baby?" Archer asked softly to his back.

Rio turned slowly, a freezing breeze swept over the room, "There ain't loose ends on my table, I've handled it."

Instead of heading to the bar, the blonde, grabbed Beth's hand and pulled them towards the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"God! I hate that fat prick!" She muttered into the mirror, grabbing stuff from her purse in a total rampage. Beth just stood still for a moment not sure what to do as the blonde leaned over the skin breathing heavily. "How did you score that beefcake?" The judgmental look she gave Beth over the mirror made her want to suck in her stomach which only made her boobs even more prominent, "Are those real?" She asked doubtful.

"Err, yes." Beth said mildly embarrassed.

She then turned to Beth, making a full 360 around her, "Amazing skin, good cheekbones... You're are very _naturally_ beautiful, if you are into that sort of thing. I guess he is."

Beth raised an eyebrow, not sure if to take it as a compliment or a rebuff. She didn't have much time to dwell on it 'cause next thing Beth knows the young woman summoned a bottle of the little yellows pills from her purse. The familiar lid popping, made Beth's heart accelerate, "He thinks I don't know about the escorts… he is so greasy with his lies, for a politician I would expect better, you know…" Beth observed tantalized the process, the woman crushed the pills between two cases of makeup while she babbled in anger, "I hate him, more for thinking I am some kind of idiot! So tired of this bullshit… He thinks that I need him, ugh! Please! I can go back to my passerelles in the blink of an eye!" She stopped the tedious process to look at Beth, some of the now powdered pill dusting away to the floor, Beth had the bizarre urge to go down on her knees and not let it go to waste, but the furious tone awoke her, "I mean, look at me!"

Beth saw how she made two neat lines out of the fine dust, carefully separating any larger lumps, "You're so lucky. Your man is so hot, and I bet he doesn't fuck your inner thigh conjecturing your pussy." She opened her wallet and rolled a twenty into a tight cylinder, Beth watched mesmerized as she bent over the marble vanity and sniffed one of the lines with experienced precision. She switched nostrils before going for the next one, then threw her head back and hummed, "Fuck."

By that stage Beth's throat was dry as sandpaper, her palms sweating, and her stomach was revolving, she had no idea that you could do that, and by the pleasure on the woman's face, it hit 5 times faster and 10 times harder.

"Oh shit, my bad, do you want some?" The blonde smiled to Beth, shaking the vial of pills in her hand, like Eve tantalizing Adam with THE apple, "It's the good stuff... Oxy."

Beth wanted to scream yes, instead she mumbled a excuse me, turned around, unlocked the door and disappeared, faster than a David Copperfield escape trick.

In her rush, she almost smashed into Rio chest, who was waiting for her with her trench in hand. "Beth? Is everythin' okay?"

She buried her nose in his neck and took a deep breath while his strong arm circled her waist, his scent bunged up her nostrils, brawny and inebriating, she searched for his lips and everything was swept away except for him… _now it was._

"Sweetheart… why are you cryin'?" He mumbled with concern after tasting the saltiness of her tears in their kiss, "Did that hoe do anything?"

She rested her cheek on his pec, "No... It's... I... God, you feel so good that it hurts. Just hold me tight for a second." Rio placed a kiss over her beret while squeezing her tight, wrapping her in his blanketed strength, he kept her sane.

After a few seconds, opening the trench coat for her, he urged her, "C'mon darlin', let's get out of here."

Although in silence, he held her close and tight all the way back to the car, his arm laced on her waist under the opened coat, his fingers stroking soft circles over her hip.

"I would take you home, but you still owe me a couple of questions, the kids... are they set for school pick up?" He asked opening the jet black Mercedes door for her. She nodded. "Good, 'cause there ain't more running, no more hurting, Elizabeth, we end this today." Beth thought she was about to pass out, there was no air reaching her lungs, and the fierceness in his look was making her weak in the knees, she was about to say something when his phone started buzzing, "Or not. I got a situation I have to take care personally. Fuck…" He muttered with annoyance as he looked at the phone screen, "You're coming with me. I'm delaying this conversation but don't fool yourself there is no escaping this time." And he took off without further ado, except the one to take hold of her hand.


	11. Truths, Dares and Consequences Pt3

Happy New Year! I know, I know, I'm super late... don't throw stones pls.

So sorry this took so long! RL has been a bitch, but this chapter is like super long to compensate!

Thank you for your patience, and all the comments and favourites! Feedback is really appreciated! Let me know what you think.

Also a warm welcome to the newer brio shippers!

As a special thank you for my dear friend Hilda, I hereby decree this chapter in her honour... thank you for keeping me on track, darlin'!

Songs:

Jazze Belle - Shoulda Coulda Woulda (SCW)  
Gert Taberner - In Need  
Zac Apollo - Discover Each Other  
Tuvaband - Everything We Do Is Wrong  
LION BABE - Treat Me Like Fire

* * *

Beth clutched to his hand like she was gripping to a floater, shaken up by his words - whatever they meant - her nerve started to wilt, her brain boggled with all the possible outcomes when she spilled the truth about Emma. None of the conjectures had been favourable so far.

Trying to eradicate the uneasiness from her system, Beth shared the little piece of information she had gathered from the exchange in the restaurant's restroom, "I suppose you are aware of the mayor's taste for luxurious escort services."

Rio smirked, "And how did you come across that information? Your acute sense of deduction?"

"No... his wife was pissed and _talkative_. I'd keep an eye on her." Beth snickered, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

He hummed, seizing the opportunity to prod, "Is that experience talkin'?"

"It may be..." Running over Dean's vainglorious cardboard cutout and taking that ludicrous inflatable pig on a joyride had been extremely satisfying, however, Beth was not pleased that her butt-hurt pride had instigated her into acknowledging that skank in vagina highlighter.

Tossing money to make her go away, hadn't been her finest moment, but in a way she was thankful, the whole situation acted as a sort of tocsin, awaking her from the Stepford Wife Syndrome she'd fell slumber. "The Mayor got away awful easily…" She continued resentful, "Did you even bother to show him your mighty gun, or you save your thug act for troublesome housewives?"

Rio's beaming bright grin was powerful enough to melt steel, let alone her little wannabe cold-heart, "Why, sweetheart, it ain't the thug part that is the acting. I know how much you like _my mighty gun_ but I don't go 'round waving it for everyone."

Beth flushed at the explicit slur, her lungs seizing when he unexpectedly led her hand to his mouth. His tongue swept over the thin scar on her palm, wet and lagging behind his breath, hot and... problematic. The erotic actions completely contrasted with the cold and calculative words muttered against her skin, "A gun will get a fellow's attention, for sure, but there are better ways of doing business. Everybody has a past, a secret. You own that, you'll get more than momentary attention."

He began avidly sucking and rolling his tongue over her fingertips. Beth swallowed audibly, her hand wasn't the only part of her body that was moist and slick any longer, "The Mayor's wife… she-she's into prescription drugs."

He smiled approvingly, "It's good to be observant. It becomes easier to choose a weapon when you know whom you dealing with, sometimes it's all it takes between victory and defeat."

His words sounded more like a warning than apprising advice. _God, she was so stupid!_ He had warned her so many times… It was all a game, a challenge. "And what is your weapon of choice against me?"

Rio took his eyes from the road to look at her, "I'm afraid where you are involved, sweetheart, I am completely disarmed. But we… we ain't enemies, right?"

His eyes were burning so dark with devilry that Beth had a hard time believing him, "No, I wouldn't say enemies. But opponents? That's another story." His malicious smile joined in, devising a devastating combo to her senses, "What do you do when your enemies find out your secrets?"

"Made sure, a long time ago, that I ain't got any left. " Done with her fingers, his hand came to rest over her thigh, his warmth penetrating under the jeans fabric and lingering over her skin. "Like I said... I'm an open book, quite literally."

 _And what you do not know cannot hurt you. Or Emma._ Beth mulled to herself, uncertainty crushing her chest like a ton of bricks… No, there was no room for doubt, at least where Emma was concerned, she was completely sure he would ensure her safety, above everything.

Beth entwined her fingers with his, his thumb swiftly caressing the side of her hand as he smiled his native half-way, "You willing to share yours, one of these days?"

Beth observed his elegant long fingers, as per usual, the choice of jewellery was unique and tasteful. The pinky ring, some kind of intricate mixture of precious metals, contrasted beautifully with his skin. The same melanated tone that ran the extension off his body, he had beautiful hands, capable and lean with defined knuckles and tendons. They could have been pianist's hands, instead, they were attuned finger-triggers, stained with blood.

She'd only felt the gentleness of his touch but she was plainly au fait with their strength. _Would those hands turn on her with the same haste they turned her on?_

A temporary beacon of light, that's what he was. _Was it wrong that she wanted to absorb the most possible of him, take what elation he offered, even if short-term?_

At this stage, she was very close to not caring for wrong and right anymore, she could wrap herself in him, and when the time came... she would too take what she was bedevilling due.

Rio always collected, and one way or another, she always paid her debts.

Beth smiled forlornly, "Perhaps its time that someone learns my secrets."

He gave her a curious look, "That easily?"

Beth shrugged and he didn't say anything else until a minutes later when they stopped in front of a warehouse. The huge garage door lifted and the guy with the skull tattoo on his head - Carlos, she'd finally learned his name - appeared by the frame. The noise of power tools breached through their silence before his words, "Not all secrets are bad, momma."

Rio turned the engine off as the garage door screeched to a close, skull tattoo guy making retreat behind a clear plastic division. Beth was able to blurrily distinguish numerous performance and luxurious cars being worked on by a team of people, but when Rio leaned over her to unclasp her seatbelt, he took her full attention, "I don't think we'll ever understand this _magic_ that makes us... _converge,_ so perfectly."

While Beth was preoccupied with his slightly crooked mouth and the way it purred words, one of his fingers slid over her thigh all the way up to her breast, his drawl slumping over her gradually and lingering like sweet honey, "And that, sweetheart, is the only secret I'm willing to let go off."

Then he proceeded to show her exactly how they merged to perfection. His dark head swooped, aimed to sensitive spot on the crook of her neck, Beth quivered as he inhaled her scent, his large hand framed her breast gloriously, sharp teeth sank into her skin, bringing her to the edge of pain, eased to pleasure - _P.D.Q -_ by the successive flicks of his tongue, hot and wet. Divine.

Humming, he travelled his way up, finding a wicked way to bite on her chin, tongue scanning her dimple. Meticulous, he kept working on her breast, kneading and squeezing while his lips shaped hers.

The kiss deepened, draining her with its ravening demand, nonetheless sustaining her starving soul. Muzzy, under such fervid audit, Beth held on tight for the ride, giving as much as he asked, demanding in double.

It was like a key. His tongue glided between her teeth smoothly, brushing over hers with stellar mastery, just the right grit and combination to coax the rusted lock on her heart to open. She was more than seduced, more than tempted, she was willing, eager to let him in.

Want, desire, once thought gone, _taken_ from her, laid extant and primed for her grasp… If only she didn't feel like prey, her heart about to be captured and crushed in between a predator jaws.

Rio might have given her something precious back, but all the invisible scars were raw and bleeding… wanting and being able were different things. Beth doubted she could _perform normally_ in the moment of truth. But extensively than flesh... just the possibility of being used and discarded for the sake of his game was enough to keep the bolt tight and secure.

Beth didn't think she had it in her to be wielded one more time, she had survived long enough on her bent backbone, she wouldn't be able to do it again. She pretended to be strong, to have everything under control, but most times it felt she was about to lose her footing, dangling by her toes at the abyss's edge, thin air tickling the sole of her feet.

Rio might have slid in and turned the key smoothly, but she still had the bolt in place, her heart in safe keeping... for the moment.

Rio sighed in anger, as she distanced herself from him. In the blink of an eye, her beautiful face transformed into a cold mask of control. Her chin jutting with stubborn poise. Her nipple was taut against his palm, but her eyes... although dark with lingering lust, turned cold, chilling him to the bone.

 _God damn her._

 _Was her heart made of stone and encased in ice? Was she a consummate actress? A cock-teaser, deserving of an Oscar perhaps?_

 _And God damn him too._

He hadn't been completely honest, he had used seduction as trump, aware it was a double-edged weapon, he just hadn't anticipated being cut so deeply and so fast. She was indeed his true adversary, the only human being he truly felt threatened by... for some unreasonable reason.

He liked to think he had all the answers, but right now, he had no idea how to deal with her, his proclaimed self-control was hanging from a thread, but like hell if he'd let her see how much she affected him.

Six years ago, she'd entered his life like a nova, erupting and disheveling everything in her path, making him want things he'd deemed impossible, reviving dreams he'd think forgotten ghosts. Transient, she'd disappeared as swiftly as she emerged, but taking a chunk of him with her.

She re-entered his life a supernova explosion - resurgent, in cataclysmic fashion and tenfold more powerful than before - the expanding shock waves triggering an unavoidable gravitational collision.

 _God, how he wanted not feel bound to her…_ Their entanglement too complicated for him, for a man in his position, however... she was light, and he had been standing in the dark for far too long.

In the dimness of the car, Rio gazed at her intently, wishing he could hate her with the same strength he wanted her. Still in his arms, he could feel how she trembled, how her breasts moved up and down following the rhythm of her erratic breathing, her eyes, two dark pools staring at him wide... but it wasn't all residual lust… there was somethin' else, somethin' that shouldn't be there, that didn't belong.

This obstinate woman, who constantly confronted and defied him, who presented him with sharp claws whenever she felt threatened... Hell, he knew she was no milquetoast, but right now? She was as terrified and as vulnerable as a child.

It had a more powerful effect on him than her lusty response. It angered him even more, unable to understand what game she was playing at... _Why did she tease him so unmerciful? Wasn't leaving him wanting for so much more it's own kind of seduction? Was he being outplayed with is own trump? Was her fear even real?_

In an epiphany moment, Rio realized that the mask she was wearing was, _perhaps_ , not so different than the one he wore, vital for self-preservation.

 _T_ _he question was preservation from what? Dean motherfucking Boland?_

Everything had checked and come clean. Their life a textbook on middle-class suburban phlegm.

 _What the hell was she afraid of?_

The mix messages didn't make any sense, it's was like he was missing the central part of the puzzle and she was the one keeping the pieces from him. On purpose.

Although seduction was doing its job, he'd perhaps come with the wrong approach to win her, in the end, it all came down to trust. He would have to take a leap of faith and grant her with trust of his own. Give in order to get was not an easy feat for him, not when he demanded trust to be earned.

"I won't take long, better if you stay here." Rio said, suddenly glad for the little stitch he had to solve, violence could be a fine vent for frustration.

"Okay." Her broken and barely audible voice haunted him, her widened blue eyes reminded him of Emma's, asking him to scare the monsters under her bed away.

Even fading, she burned so luminous... All he wanted to do was squeeze her tight and keep her close, under his skin, warm... safe.

His hand cupped her cheek, thumb running over the slightly rugged surface of her lip, he wished it could be that easy to erase her troubles, "When I come back, I want you to tell me what are you so afraid of."

She stared at him in surprise for a tiny second, the subsequent dauntless unnecessary, already given away by her earlier body language, "Does that count as one question?"

"Yes." He retorted already on his way out of the car, annoyed by her staunchness. This must be what chewing bone felt like, fuckin' hard work but such a damn tasty reward that he simply could not let it go. He was a goddamn obsessed idiot.

"You... " Her breathy voice stopped him in his tracks. Those vast and bottomless blue pools stared at him dead in the eye, "I'm afraid of you."

"Me?" He dropped back on the soft leather, genuinely surprised and mildly insulted, "What have I done to scare you?"

"Really? You have no idea?" Beth raised her eyebrows in utter disbelief as he shook his head, "You broke into my house and waved a gun in my face! More than once!"

"Nah... It ain't my gun you scared off, every time, you've faced it game-on. Last time, you even fuckin' enjoyed it!" Rio tsked amused, "And I can't take off my mind that necklace resting between those amazing tits of yours… _You_ wearing nothing else _but_ that necklace..." Finding irresistible to tease her even further, Rio cocked his head to the side, his crooked smile widening as Beth turned at least two shades redder, "...and maybe that blush."

Beth tried her best to ignore his comment and the ploddingly heat wave scorching her skin. Fuck her... _one smile!_ It was all it took, and here she was gushing over him, _again_. "I'm not sure if you're aware how much danger you embody... and not exactly because you're carrying a gun... " Beth waved her hand all over his figure, "YOU are very intimidating."

"When I need to be." He conceded, "But again, you always butt heads with me. You ain't no coward."

"Doesn't imply I'm not afraid." Beth retorted.

"I care for mine. You have no reason to be afraid..." Rio slanted his eyes as if trying to read through her, "...unless you betray me."

The word, _mine_ , reverberated in her brain, poking the open wound like a branding iron, shame burned her with the strength of an open flame. Unbeknown to him, she already had.

His daughter called another man _Daddy_. He would never see her first steps, or feel the inexplicable faith that the world just became a better place when you hold your flesh and blood for the first time. She had stolen something of immeasurable value, unparalleled. Waiting so long to tell him about Emma just added a whole nother level to her betrayal. "And what happens to the ones you can't trust… like me?"

His undecipherable pitch black eyes bore through her soul, "You haven't exactly inspired confidence sweetheart. I want to trust you, but every time we take a step further you do somethin' stupid and we're two steps back."

"That doesn't answer my question." Beth said sharply.

"You have run out of questions, sweetheart. And I ain't on the mood for charity." Rio said with an impish smile, "You ready to bargain?"

"I don't think I should bargain for something I can predict the answer to." Beth remarked audaciously.

His renowned malicious smile framed his mouth and, Beth instinctively knew she was about to get in trouble, "What you shouldn't do is purse those lips so often, I get these urges to kiss you until they are soft and supple, and you... moanin..."

"You talk too much nonsense." Beth interrupted him, already seeing where this was headed, the response was immediate, her body roared its need at her, and Beth was in no condition to oppose, her strength depleted in their previous battle, "Don't you have somewhere to be going to?"

"Do I?" He drawled full of mischief.

Beth screeched when she was suddenly lifted her from the seat. She clawed at his shoulders and ducked her head avoiding the car's low ceiling while he somehow pulled her over the middle console.

His hard cock nudged against her core as he straddled her over his lap, the large leather seat accommodating both nicely. He hastily grabbed her ass, firmly bringing her down as he lifted his hips, hitting her sweet spot with surprising ease. Unavoidably, Beth moaned.

Rio's dark orbs flashed smugly, and Beth had an almost irresistible impulse to strike out the tiny presumptuous smile from his handsome face.

Her hands got a mind of their own, but instead of striking, they glided from his shoulders to the hard planes of his chest, his heart beating steady and strong under her palms. She travelled further down over his taut abs to find the hem of his shirt. Beth lifted the fabric without thinking twice, his bullet wound was healing nicely but the old white scar on his side quickly captured her attention.

She ran her finger pads over the rugged surface, his lean carved muscles weaving and contracting under her touch, the small and sparse scars over his abs reflected the dim light almost shimmering, the low cut jeans partly revealed the grooves of an Adonis belt. Over the dark golden skin, a thin line of dark crisp hair disappeared under the snugly belted waistband, a massive bulge stretched against the dark material of his jeans.

Beth had no idea what got into her, or what the fuck was she doing, but her hands didn't have her problems... they didn't hesitate in undoing his belt, nor flicking his button loose and running his zipper. They greedily scooted under the waistband of his boxers and cupped his cock… both of them! _But Dear God... he was perfection._

Groaning, he squeezed her ass cheeks, breaking the spell she'd fallen into, she lost herself in those dark orbs of his. One way or another, Beth had effectively removed the smug smile from his face, replaced it with fierce want.

There was no saying who moved first, the kiss was a mixture of pure lust and insatiable hunger. Her head pounded, murky with desire as his rough hands progressed under her sweater, seizing her soft skin on his way up. The clasp of her bra was undone with ease while he pulled at her inflamed lower lip with honed teeth, kissed her chin and down the expanse of her neck, his facial scruff tickling her wickedly, the purr coming from his tattoed throat making her throb deeply and gush freely.

With her heavy breasts released from confinement, he cupped them with urgency, kneading the juicy pale jugs in his tan hands. Raring, he tugged at her nipple, the small hint of pain was enough for her to tense. Burning with need Rio lifted her sweater and bra in one go, latching on her taut nip with a groan.

Pleasure shot through her spine, usurping her breath and leaving her gasping. Beth just stood there straight as an arrow, trying to overcome the bout of jitters. She focused on the pleasure, on his eyes, half-lidded in bliss, the bristly long lashes that shaded most of his cheeks, the hard lean muscle of his shoulders, pinched under her nails, the eager but still considerate touch... all so different from Dean's.

She took a deep breath while Rio held the weight of her tits in his palms, the wonder flaring in his slanted dark eyes instigated womanly gratification. He squeezed them against each other, groaning and muttering a strained _'fuck'_ that left her damp, not only in her core but also in pride.

He then swooped his head between them, tongue sailing smoothly over her breastbone. Beth held onto his round skull, arching her back to give him better access, his soft lips left a trail of wet, toothed kisses as he made way to her nipples, giving unbiased attention to each, rolling his tongue over the tight tips, suckling on her pink areolas avidly.

Beth craved for a taste of him, ached to take him deep in her until all the bad was redacted and replaced with the pleasure he rendered. As if reading her mind, his long fingers spread into her hair, capturing her fiery tresses into his fist, bringing her into a fierce kiss.

With her bared breasts smothered against his clothed chest, he headed for her derrière, rounding both cheeks with his palms, guiding her centre against his protuberant erection while he devoured her mouth. Moaning and throbbing, Beth ground his cock relentlessly.

His fingers played with the button at her waist, popping it open and undoing her zipper with ease, he pulled at her hair, parting their mouths just enough, "Your taste still haunts in my dreams."

His drawl dripped raspy, idyllic, like the fingers sliding under her panties, over the neat patch of reddish-golden curls, gliding down her slick labia, and up, pressing against her clit. "I want you to flood my mouth… I want to drown on those sweet juices of yours."

Beth was unsure if it was anxiety or his words that made her belly froth, but reassured by his burning black coal orbs, she instructed her body to relax while he prodded her entrance with two thick fingers, wooing his way into her body as easily as he had found his way into her heart.

Her swollen lips parted, allowing an unquenchable moan to escape while he pumped in and out. The shallow and methodical nudges quickly gave way to deeper and faster thrusts.

Rio groaned, partly frustrated by the tight clothes impeding him to go as deep as his fingers allowed, partly going insane as the limited space filled with the scent of her arousal. With his free hand, he guided one of her succulent pale tits into his mouth, the pink nipple firm and ripe against his tongue, tasted like heaven itself. Her velvety inner muscles contracted around him, sucking him in greedily, his cock throbbed in response, demanding his own share.

Rio released her nipple with a loud pop, lashing at it successively with the tip of his tongue while his fingers worked in and out, Beth's moans became louder as the pressure inside her intensified, accumulating for the ultimate release.

"Fuck…" He growled over her lips, his eyes gleamed, lecherous and awed, _"You feel so good..._ fuckin' exquisite. Cum for me, sweetheart."

 _God, she was so close..._ But, somehow his words made something shift in her. A sense of dread overcame her, apprehension began to flow conjoined with pleasure. It was all so intense that she felt compelled to close her eyes… terrible mistake.

The thoughts she'd been easily keeping at bay, metastasized in her brain like cancer, corrupting her to the very soul.

Repulsive, confusing visions flooded her mind's eye, leading to panic to take control over her body.

Dean's icy blue eyes mocked her, his fist plunged into her stomach, taking her already scarce breath away and replacing it with asphyxiating bitterness. Then blinding bright light and red toenails hovered above her, then there was nothing but darkness.

It wasn't Rio's… it was Dean's hideous touch she felt, a slug crawling under her skin, vitiating her body. The shivers became uncontrollable, her heart started to palpitate, so irregular that she was afraid she was having a heart attack, her mouth watered excessively in a clear sign that she was about to get sick.

A knock on the rear windshield startled both of them, effectively - and for the best - breaking his touch. Beth blinked blearily at the dark shadow moving away from the car, Carlos, the tattooed guy from before.

With their tryst exposed, Rio clasped her bra with expert, quick moves. Like a cat on hot tin roof, Beth jumped back to her seat, pulling her sweater down just as the first wave of nausea engulfed her. Her hands shook so much it was near impossible to do up her jeans button.

Rio's breath was as ragged and laboured as hers, his voice harsh with unfulfilled desire as he packed his cock back in his jeans, "Beth..."

"Just go, Rio." She snapped, closing the sweaty hands over her lap into tight fists, "Don't worry, I won't raise hell for being five minutes alone!"

He got out of the car and banged the door, not before scowling at her, "You keep that pretty ass in here until I come back."

She watched him walk away with his feline dip while she sat there, trying to control the urge to vomit, the back of her neck drenched with cold sweat, she rolled down the windows and took large deep breaths.

She closed her eyes in search of relief but an unnerving tick tock started to resound in mind. At first, it was mild and she tried to ignore it by focusing on her breathing, but it became louder and louder with each ticking second... it was like she was transported back to her kitchen, bent over that butcher block, the tick of the kitchen clock mingling with the laugh of happy children.

Beth shot her eyes open, the images gone, but the clock kept ticking in her ears. Desperate, she reached for her purse, searching for those goddamn pills in a frenzy. The original plan was to take them if she needed and she needed them more than ever.

She popped the container lip open and dropped the backup pills in her palm, her fist immediately closed around the tiny pills, for a moment the urge to throw them out the window greater than the one to consume. Her hand flew through the open window, but a devious part of her brain sparked doubt, her fist trembled but remained closed.

 _You need them! How do you expect the pain to fade, if you don't take them? You think you can lean on Rio? *scoff* What has love done for you... done to you? You think he loves you? You know better than that, he just wants one thing and you can't even let him touch you without going neurotic, and when he finds out the truth, he won't even want that from you._

 _You don't need anyone… you don't have to feel anything… It's so easy… so good… Just. Take. The. Pills._

"Shut up! SHUT... UP!" Beth growled, forcing her hand open and throwing them as far as she could. The pills tinkled away on the smooth concrete floor, her heart stopping in a second of doubt and subsequent dread as the sound reverberated, fading into the heavy machinery noise and the faint Spanish rap on the background.

Beth pressed her palms against tightly shut eyes, forcing the tears back into their well. _No more crying... no more._ She repeated over and over as her mantra.

It _was something, wasn't it? To be betrayed in the most unexpected and hideous way by the person who's supposed to love and cherish you?_

Dean had managed to mess her up pretty damn good. She felt so filthy that she was itching, so soiled that she didn't think she could ever be clean again, let alone normal.

Although her "trauma" was part justifiable, Beth knew it was too, part illogical. Ultimately, she was as well versed in pleasure as she was in pain... perhaps that was what made it worse, she had always so much to give, she'd given it so easily and unwary. It had all been twisted too much, it was too late for her, nothing to be done of her half-numb and broken self.

Blaming Dean for clipping her wings was so easy... he might be the culprit but she was far from being exempt of guilt. She stood hamstrung by her own lies and omissions. Stuck, using the drugs - and Rio - as a shield of relief that only brought her even more pain and trouble.

She never felt this trapped before, every time she tried to move, she'd smash against a wall of lies, and climbing it, grant possible, meant her financial plans could be cut short. Meant she would remain anchored to Dean and their 'till death tear us apart' promise, because she would never abandon her children.

Meant that Rio would hate her… never again would he gaze at her through those warm obsidian eyes as if she was worth burning for... worth everything.

She had already lost Ruby's trust, possibly her friendship, and had failed Annie too many times… _What did she had left to lose that hadn't been taken, maimed or destroyed anyway? God..._ _She was so weary of balancing on that damn edge, using air as grit… Sometimes she'd wonder if it wouldn't it be easier if she just... let go?_

A bark startled her, effectively blowing the black clouds hanging over her head. Bella - Rio's dog - appeared out of nowhere, running in her direction. Beth opened the door, and she immediately jumped onto her lap, wiggling in ecstasy, "How did you get here?"

A wretched smile spread over her lips as she scratched the dog's ears, not that she expected an answer but the beady black eyes shone with intelligence and understanding. In response, Beth's eyes filled with tears. She buried her face into Bella's thick neck and let herself sob, in silence, for a couple seconds. _Pathetic, that's what she was._

Once she'd calmed down, she patted Bella's head as a thank you and set herself into fixing her ruined makeup, not only by her crying but also by Rio's ardent kisses.

"Did Rio sent you to spy on me?" Beth questioned the dog while fixing her hat, which had fallen during their sexual interlude, "You know we girls should stick together… But I know he is fine as juicy bone, so I can't really blame you, can I?" Bella's ears lifted at the mention of her owner, she jumped out of the open door and barked, running in the direction where she'd come from, "Wait! Come back here, girl!"

Beth murmured a 'shit' under her breath, already out of the car as the dog stopped to look at her as if expecting Beth to follow her. Which, imprudently, she did.

They crossed the clear plastic curtain that served as a division, the music and the odour of weld and metal dust even more overpowering on that side. The warehouse was bigger than she initially thought, some of the men working on the cars stopped their tasks to look at her, none of the faces familiar. Beth nodded in their direction while she tried to keep up with Bella, chin high, she affronted their ogling eyes until they turned back to work.

She knew a thing or two about cars, after all, Dean dealt with them. She had heard of this type of thing, chop shops, where stolen cars were dismantled and sold for a quick return. But this was in a big scale, mostly luxurious performance cars and they were intact, only the plates being removed and VIN's replaced, then loaded into containers to be shipped overseas, where the black market prices would justify. It only made sense that Rio would be involved in something like this with his passion for cars and tendency to _'flip his game'._

Bella made a sharp turn and she followed her into the back of the warehouse, only to stop dead on her tracks at the appalling vision in front of her.

Rio was beating the shit out of a guy. His dark features never more resembling the devil he alleged to be.

The sound of flesh and bone meeting all too familiar and raising the hair at the back of her neck. Rio's profiled face twisted in a sneer of crazed violence, he kept pounding at the man's already bloodied and unrecognizable face. What Beth thought to be a tooth twinkled on the concrete floor, and the metallic smell of blood seemed to fill her nostrils.

Carlos and the other tall tattooed guy that served as usual henchman, stood behind Rio, watching the carnage. The bruised man fell to his knees, chest heaving heavily while thick scarlet blood spewed from his broken nose, his eyes so swollen that they were glued together.

Beth thought it was over, but Rio wasn't finished. He bent over the man and whispered unintelligible words into his ear. The man spat a slurred a _'fuck you'_ with a distinctive Russian accent, blood trickling from his chin, pooling black and congealed near Rio's immaculate shoes.

It all happened too fast. Rio lifted his knee, a crack audible as it met with jaw. The man's limp body had barely touched the floor, Rio already had his gun out.

The golden metal sparkled under the light as Rio pulled the slide back, the click of the gun cocking echoed in her ears. Beth's eyes widened in shock… _Dear God, she was about to witness more than she'd bargained for... murder._

A dead set calm seemed to wrap around him, time slowed as he crouched, brutally grasping the moaning man's nape, bringing him to close range.

Rio smiled viciously, loudly kissing the man's sweat and blood-drenched forehead, pure scorn. His voice beamed, seeping sadism, "Send my regards to Sasha, motherfucker."

She should be skedaddling the shit outta there, but she was transfixed, her body paralyzed in a mixture of horror, amazement and oddly... curiosity. She had seen cruelty, had felt it in her own skin, but this was of a distinct nature. This was the wickedest thing she'd ever withstood... yet it was impossible not to respect the power bred from savagery, not to admire the beauty running alongside the macabre.

Even Bella stood completely still as Rio pressed the gun muzzle to the man's temple, her heart skipped a beat and began hammering full force against her rib cage. His finger moved gently over the trigger and Beth started buzzing.

Suddenly, Rio snapped his head in her direction, acknowledging her presence, his black eyes deadly cold, like Michigan's winter, freezing her breath in place. It took a long second to realize that she was literally buzzing, her phone ringing in her pocket.

"Pick it up." He snarled at her, eyes flashing with anger.

 _Oh, boy_ … this wasn't good, he was pissed… _at her._ Beth struggled with the phone, not taking her eyes off of Rio's. The fingerprint unlock, as per usual, didn't work, perhaps because she was shaking like a leaf in the wind. With a hard gulp, she finally dared a peek at the phone, her husband's name flashed on the screen. After three attempts at sliding the answer button, she finally got it.

Rio's eyes never left hers while she exchanged minimal words with Dean, his fingers were squeezing the man's neck so tightly that they had turned white, leaving indentations on the clammy skin. Rio's jaws ticked while he pressed his lips into a thin line, the spine-chilling scowl a reminder that she had directly disobeyed his order to stay in the car. It also reminded her of how dangerous he really was, much more than the gun still attached to the man's temple.

"Okay, I'll handle it." Beth muttered into the phone. Ending the call, she scanned Rio's boys' mood, which stared blankly at her, giving nothing away. Beth pondered on what to do for a moment, licking her lips which suddenly felt as dry as her throat, "I, hmm, I-I have to go... It's Emma."

Rio released the man carelessly. Unconscious - possibly already dead, for all she knew - he fell limp and hard onto the concrete floor. Rio holstered the gun at his back and walked towards her, Beth took two steps back, "I… I-I c-can call an uber."

He didn't even blinked, hooked his bloodied hand around her arm, probably with the same strength he was holding the man's neck, and dragged her back to the car. He must have noticed her wince of pain 'cause his grip relaxed, his scowl didn't. None of the mechanics dared a look at them, probably because Rio looked like he was about to murder her and whoever stood in his way.

Once they reached the car, he leaned her back on the side panel, not particularly gently, it was almost a shove, Beth had to grind her teeth to contain another wince.

"What's wrong with Emma?" His voice still held an icy tendril but his frown was of worry.

"Nothing." Beth quickly reassured, "Dean is stuck in traffic with the kids, some kind of pile-on in the highway, he won't make it in time to pick her up from after-school ballet… I... hmm... have to get her."

Beth was surprised by how steady and easily her speech came, she was disturbed by the wrong motives, seeing him like that was just validation to all her theories, what she didn't expect was the erotic frisson that came with it.

"Get in." He said, opening the door for her. Bella, who had followed them, jumped in and made way to the back.

Beth balanced on her heels, fidgety, "I-I'll call a taxi or something, you seem to be..." She struggled to find the right words, "Ahem... busy."

"Elizabeth… get in."

 _Fuck._ She held his stormy and black as night gaze for what seemed an eternity. She needed space, but that was obviously something he wasn't willing to give her right now, so Beth scooted in and he followed suit. The quicker she abided the quicker he would let her go, and Beth really needed to put her head in order, impossible with him so close.

The tension was palpable as they drove, the only words exchanged were the address where to pick up Emma from, even Bella seemed anxious. Beth was extremely confused and mortified with the reactions of her flesh. She did not condone violence by any means, although she did struggle with her own urges... sometimes. She had felt capable of killing, but that was in a private space on the dark corner of her mind. Rio would have shot that man if her phone hadn't rung, and with a knowing audience, cold-blooded… not a thing in the heat of the moment... it was calculated like everything else he did. Rio was not a man you wanted to mess with, yet his frown softened with visible relieve when assured Emma was okay. She didn't know what to make of her feelings. He was all she'd always suspected yet so much more.

Before she knew they were parking in front of the ballet studio, Rio shut the engine off and turned to face her.

"What you saw, it had to be done." He simply stated, the dark eyes open and inviting trust, "There is somethin' 'bout me you have to understand... I'm not a good man. I've done things I ain't proud of. I might have spilled more blood than needed but I never did it without a reason, without an aim. I'm not justifying it, I did most of it for money... but when you're on top of the food chain, you start doubting your own shadow… you are alone. I never wanted that for me but I've never known anythin' else… I… what you saw it's part of me..." He took a long pause, his jaws clenching as he chewed his thoughts, "There this quote, _Power tends to corrupt, and…_ "

" _... and absolute power corrupts absolutely._ " Beth finished with him, "Lord Acton."

Rio smiled stoically, "I know you think you can keep doing what you doing for six months and you're out, but I see how hungry you are, how badly you want more... you must be aware Elizabeth… _everything,_ comes with a price. You remember that when the time comes."

Beth frowned, "Time for what?"

"The time when you decide if you want to be a Queen or just another pawn."

Suddenly, it was hard to swallow, her throat constricted, Beth had no idea how to react, but her heart surely soared with pride at the possibility of being his Queen. Her face must have broadcasted her surprise, the low rumble of his laugh stupefied her almost as much as the bombshell.

"God, how I wanted to be able to read what's up in that pretty head of yours… I got this constant feelin' that what your body tells me is not what you want to say." He added with a sombre half-smile.

Beth was even more taken aback, he read her pretty well most of the time and on the contrary to her, he wasn't a man that held back his desires, but he didn't exactly expose himself either, trusting her with that much about him touched her deeply.

Guilt fell upon her almost unbearable, she was so undeserving of his trust, the cause of so much trouble… Maybe if she'd never crossed the doors of Lucky's that night he wouldn't be lonely, perhaps he would have the family he craved so much, perhaps power wouldn't have corrupted him. But then, she wouldn't have Emma. She couldn't possibly be sorry for that night, ever.

Beth knew not everything was black and white either. Yes, he wasn't a good man but he wasn't a bad man either, he was one of those complex grey spots.

Beth found herself retributing a smug smile, "Right now… my brain is asking if you are aware that the Queen is the most powerful piece in game?"

His eyes flared with a hint of lust, "But the King, sweetheart, is the most important."

"Not until endgame." Beth riposted swallowing the hard lump in her throat, incapable to understand how he made her lust with one simple look, one mere move.

He leaned over her, his drawl a low raspy whisper, "And what phase do you think we at, uh?" His chuckle made sinful things happen to her nervous system, "We've been playing for a while now, and I admit you had me threatened a couple o' times, but it ain't over until one of us says checkmate."

Beth arched a reddish-golden eyebrow, "I thought it was bad etiquette to continue playing in a completely hopeless position."

Rio licked his lips amused, "Why, sweetheart, you're welcome to resign anytime."

Beth leaned over his lips, barely brushing the soft and wet pillows, her voice didn't even sound her own, "In order to secure a game the Queen can sacrifice herself, the game just needs to be worthy of her sacrifice."

His eyes softened while he tucked a wild strand of copper hair behind her ear, "Then, I've already lost. There is no King without a Queen by his side."

His lips captured her softly, coaxing her mouth to open. It was impossible not to warm to his words, not to abide to the sweet promise of his lips. Even the way he kissed her was a contradiction, all of him screamed brutal viciousness, but his kisses were torture by pleasure.

The light pressure of his lips, the sweeping of his tongue on hers, the gentle bite to her lower lip, all so provocative and familiar, yet, so different from all the other kisses they'd shared before.

He'd opened a little gap for trust, and she eagerly slid through it, healing close some of her doubts, but cracking open so many more.

She felt how lonely and isolated he was, almost detached. He knew what was being alone in a crowd and she understood it better than she would have liked to. Everything was separated... compartmentalized, they were not so different where it came to self-preservation, even if valued in different ways, using different methods, for different reasons, ultimately with the same objective… they didn't want to be hurt.

The kiss ended with a last swept of his tongue, Rio parted from her lips with a lingering peck. When she opened her eyes, he was studying her with those indecipherable deep-set eyes of his, his hand still cradling her cheek, "Go on and get your daughter."

 _Our daughter..._ Beth flushed, pinning her lips into a tight line as the words threatened to shove each other in order to get out of her mouth. _The daughter,_ whom she had momentarily forgotten about.

She took a glance at the dance studio entrance, some parents were already leaving with their children by the hand. She'd lost track of time, all her senses captured by him, completely adrift in the warmth of his body, his scent, his taste. He'd disarmed her with his trust, leaving her humming with the unexpected exposure.

"Right… I… hmm, should go." She said like the idiot she was, his smirk widened by the same her blush amounted to. Beth quickly got out of the car before she managed to embarrass herself even further.

It didn't take long to get Emma, she was stopped by a couple of mom's, part of her secret shopper army, who were anxious for the next shopping haul, Beth avoided details, saying it wasn't up to her but corporate. Shopping was on hold until she could fix this thing with Mary Pat tomorrow. She had texted Ruby with time and location for the drop-off but was still unsure if she'd show up. She was aware she might have overreacted about Ruby, their friendship had survived through a lot, still... She would have to learn tomorrow because that bitch hadn't even bothered with a simple yes or no answer.

Beth cut short the goodbyes and set on her way out. Emma immediately spotted Rio leaning against the car, patting Bella's head through the rolled down window. Her screech was of such happiness that it wrapped around Beth's heart like a painful reminder of all her sins.

Emma released Beth's hand and ran in his direction, so fast, that Beth was sure she'd left rubber imprints on the sidewalk. Rio smiled in that special way he reserved for Emma, crouching as she wrapped her little arms around his neck and smooched his cheek loudly.

Beth watched from the sidelines as he lifted her in his arms, not daring to interrupt as he made introductions to Bella.

Beth frowned as jealousy steamed way to the top, again. _Another fun dad..._ Her thoughts, suddenly turned 360 degrees, leaving her dizzy.

If Rio learned about Emma, there was the possibility we would want her custody... _He could take her baby away._

Rio's voice startled her, "Beth?"

He held the door open for her, Emma was already inside and belted on the back seat next to Bella. "Do you have somewhere to be or can we stop by a park? Bella could use some activity."

"Could we go, mommy? Please?" Emma pleaded with her.

Beth didn't have the heart to say no, "Okay, but the one close to our house. It's getting late."

Rio's smile could melt steel beams but when he high fived an equally side smiling Emma, it withered her heart and raised her fears.

The usually long ride passed - thankfully - extremely quickly as she analyzed Rio's and Emma's conversations, her previous thoughts fresh in her mind, eating at her courage nibble by nibble. _She was a good mother, he had said so… he wouldn't take Emma from her, right? He wouldn't do anything that could potentially hurt his own daughter, would he?_

Rio parked and turned to Emma, "Why don't you check what's under my seat?"

Emma's blue eyes sparkled with delight, "Is it a present? For me?"

Rio chuckled, "Maybe." His dark brown gaze turned towards Beth, almost a squint, so broad was is smile, "Hope you don't mind."

 _How could she mind?_ Beth shook her head negatively as Emma got a bag from under the seat, "Can I open it now?" She asked already peeking inside.

"Let's do it outside, Bella is already getting anxious for a run on the grass." Rio suggested.

Rio grabbed a tennis ball from the trunk and threw into the grass for Bella to catch. The park was nearly empty as they sat on the nearest picnic bench.

Beth almost laughed as Emma fidgeted with the bag while she sat in between her and Rio, dying to open it, "Go ahead."

It was all she needed, the wrapping paper was destroyed in seconds. Wrapped in transparent cellophane was a cute brown bunny plush. Emma squashed it against her chest with a squeak of happiness.

Rio smirked, "I gather you like it?"

Emma nodded, handing the package for him to open. Beth threw the returned ball for Bella to fetch again, side glancing Emma. "What do you say, young lady?"

Emma was too excited to remember manners, "Oh! Thank you, Rio. I love it."

Rio scruffed her hair, "You're welcome, conejito. But you see, this isn't just any plush bunny…" He said removing it from the package, "This bunny will scare any monster out of your bedroom. Forever."

Emma frowned in doubt, "How?"

"Like this…" Rio pressed the back of the plushy head, the sweet mellow eyes turned into a vicious frown, the mouth opened showing rows of sharp white tooth, completely changing the toys demeanour.

Emma giggled, "I'm not scared."

Beth chuckled under her breath while Rio scratched the back of his head, "Well, hmm… It's not supposed to scare you, just the monsters."

Emma frowned still not convinced, "Do you think it will work?"

"100% sure." He reassured.

Emma smiled coyly, "I think it's still better if you come by... sometimes."

Rio sat her on his lap, "One day you will have to face all the monsters by yourself, sweetheart, but until then I will scare those monster how many times you need. And if I'm not there... Pedro?" He suggested as a name.

Emma giggled and nodded, "I like it."

Rio continued, "If I'm not there, Pedro the bunny, will do it for me. Deal?"

Emma wrapped him in a tight hug, "Deal."

Rio heard a sniff coming from Beth, a frown of worry formed in his brow, "Why don't you go play with Bella for a little bit, uh?" He said to Emma, which quickly agreed.

Once she was happily following Bella around, Rio turned towards Beth, whom had her back to him, "What's the matter, sweetheart? Should I have gotten you a bunny plush too?" He teased her.

When Beth turned, he was shocked to see abundant, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, "Rio… t-there is something you should know…"

Beth had watched the whole scene with her heart in her hands, even with all her doubts and fears, she couldn't keep it any longer. Her mouth opened but no sound came out, it was like she had swallowed Bella tennis ball and she was choking on it, choking on her lies, on her cowardy.

Noticing her distress Rio squeezed her hands, "You don't have to tell me just yet."

"Yes, I do." She retorted annoyed with herself for being so weak, with him for being such a perfect gentleman… most of the time, when he wasn't, it was usually because he was busy making her want him with those wonderfully wicked kisses. To her dismay, fat sobs started to rock her body.

He cleaned her tears away with his thumbs, "You know what I like to do when I'm frustrated?"

"Beat people up?" She asked between teary sniffs and a chuckle.

Rio chuckled, "Well… that too. But besides what you might think there isn't always a target available. So, I scream."

Beth looked at him with doubt, "You scream? Like, shout, out loud?"

"Mmm-hmm. It helps... Try it with me." He incited her.

"Now? Here?" Beth nudged her chin towards some people sitting a few yards away, her voice a tiny whisper, "In public?"

One second his smile was flashing wickedly the next he threw his head back and screamed his lungs out like Tarzan.

After the initial shock, Beth found it was impossible not to laugh, "You're crazy." She shouted over his Tarzan impersonation.

"And you need to loosen up a bit, unless... you want to keep that Miss Uptight crown over your head." He teased her with that disarming half-smile.

Beth pursed her lips, "I've told you… I'm not uptight."

"Prove it." He goaded her with an arch of those unruly brows.

This time when he screamed, Beth joined. At first she was conscious but after a few seconds she couldn't care less for the few people gawking at them… she found it relieving and liberating, just like he had promised. Rio eventually stopped but she kept going. At one stage it wasn't even frustration, it was pure anger, and at the end, it was her pain she was pouring out.

When she was finally finished they just stood in silence looking at each other. By then Emma was back, with Bella on her toes, and curious why mommy was screaming. Beth was too shaken up to come up with something but Rio had the answer.

"We were scaring monsters."

Emma looked around, eyes wide, clutching Pedro the bunny tightly, "Monsters? Here?"

"Don't worry, conejito. They are gone." He kissed the top her head, his eyes met with Beth's, "The scariest monsters mostly live in our heads."

A recognition, an unspoken understanding, fuelled with sexual chemistry exchanged between them. It was the same recipe from six years ago when their eyes met for the first time, but somehow the ingredients had fermented, the potency was intoxicating.

Reassured, Emma scrunched away to play catch with Bella, leaving them and the tension in between to friction.

Rio scooted closer to her, his thigh touching hers, "So… what'd you wanna talk to me about?"

Whatever contradictions Rio portrayed were meaningless under the genuinity of his actions, he had absolutely no _conscious_ reason to care for that little girl, to give her such a thoughtful gift. Beth faced the idyllic picture of her daughter playing with the dog, they deserved the truth, they belonged together and Beth could only hope Rio understood her reasons to have kept her from him far too long.

His slanted deep-set eyes regarded her with unwavering patience. There was no way of revealing something like this the right way, so Beth took a deep breath and conformed with diving head first. "Emma... she is yo…"

"Beth?" The unfamiliar male voice startled her, "Elizabeth Marks? Is that you?"

Beth frowned at the tall figure stopped in front of them with one of those posh small dogs on a leach, she would recognize that ginger hair anywhere, "Oh my… Tom?"

She had barely got on her feet when Tom McBride's - her 1st everything - bear hug engulfed her, the hairs at the back of her neck raised with apprehension at his touch, she went immediately stiff, he had certainly gotten beefier since high school, the long ginger beard gave him a total hipster-zaddy vibe, but he still kept his boyish charm.

"How many years has it been… Last time was… that party in college? Wow!" He said once they parted, "You look amazing."

"Well… thank you." Beth said, voice as stiff as her spine, the spark in his eye was making her nervous. She heard Rio clear his throat.

"Oh! This is my, huh… this is…"

"Rio." He said extending his hand towards Tom, his scowl was not nearly as friendly tho.

"Yes, this is Rio." She added, stupidly, as they shook hands, We… hmmm… he is my… huh…"

"Partner." Rio said with conviction, eyeing Tom with pure contempt.

"Oh…" Tom muttered, "You and Dean…"

Both Rio and Beth answered at the same time.

"Yes, they are getting divorced."

"N-No, we are just business partners… " Beth sent Rio a killer look as her voice faded, "... we work together... at work."

Tom looked at both in utter confusion. Unconcerned, Rio smiled like the cat that got the cream, circling Beth's waist and bringing her as close as humanly possible, "It's complicated."

"I can imagine," Tom said eyeing Beth with interest again, "Well, I just moved back with my kids, my wife passed early this year, I thought coming back home was a good change… Your kids are about the same age, right? Maybe we could… arrange a playdate or something?"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sure my kids will love to make new friends. This is my youngest, Emma." Beth introduced her as she made her way to them.

"Are you a ballet dancer?" Tom asked, noticing Emma's tutu under the winter jacket, "My daughter, Tilly, has been begging me to join a class, she's just a bit older than you. I think you will make great friends."

Bella arrived with the tennis ball in her mouth, only for the small dog to start barking at her. Bella mostly ignored the annoying dog, calm as a cucumber, but the small dog was going nuts and Tom had to excuse himself with the promise of seeing Beth again and also her phone number.

Beth eyed Emma, making sure she was at a safe distance before turning towards Rio and raise her hands to the air, "I cannot believe you!"

"Highschool crush or ex-boyfriend?" Rio asked in return.

Beth crossed her arms under her breasts, "Both."

His gaze dropped to her boobs, the half-lipped smile made her legs wobble. "Boy, he certainly has more taste in women than dogs."

Beth rolled her eyes, "Why, thank you."

Rio placed his hands over her hips, bringing her so close into his body that Beth had doubts even air was able to circulate between them, his deep voice lowered to what should be considered forbidden-by-law levels, "You gonna invite me for a playdate too?"

Beth squinted her eyes, unsure if he was trying to annoy her, insult her or… "Why? Are you jealous?" She smiled at his scoff... he was _j_ _ealous._ "My playdates are exclusively for children."

Rio's eyes flickered with amusement, "Oh... but I could play all day with you, momma."

Beth swallowed the hard lump in her throat, "I think we had enough playtime for today."

Rio licked his lips, sucking his teeth in the process, "A'ight, _minx..._ We done for today but far from over."

From this close and with the winter sun shining on them, Beth could see the deep dark streaks that rimmed his pupils and mixed with the rich chocolate brown of his iris. His eyes matched his soul.

His darkness was as soft and inviting as sable, and shone like an eagle's wing. Rio might be pitch black on the inside but on the right angle, he exuded a warm light to the outside.

She guessed her eye colour matched her soul too. Rot covered edges with an icy blue interior. She was being consumed from the outside in, bleak and putrid.

"I have this feeling that you and I will never be over." She said cryptically morose.

Rio chose to ignore her sour tone and tease her further, "That's the smartest thing you said all day, sweetheart."

Beth giggled despite herself. He kissed her palm and slowly let go of her, his eyes burned holes in her soul, "And then you laugh like that and expect me to leave a sane man?"

Beth had no idea what to say, so she called for Emma who had returned to playing on the grass with Bella, and right quick... before she dropped her panties and asked him to fuck her as sweetly as he talked. _God, she was a nutcase._

Rio gave her a knowing smug smile, say what he may, he took great pleasure in disturbing her.

On the way home, she couldn't help but feel like she'd dodged the bullet on more time, but playing Russian roulette was a death sentence, sooner or later.

* * *

"Open up." The knock on the van's window was nothing but a surprise for both Beth and Annie. Ruby made her way into the back seat casually, shivering from the cold outside while they smiled at her, "What?"

"We just didn't think you'd show." Said Annie.

"Please." Ruby shrugged off her concern, "I'm stuck with you guys."

"Good. 'Cause we need you." Beth filled in.

"Where the hell would I go anyway?" Ruby added morosely.

"I don't know, the diner would probably take you back." Annie said, eyes on the outside trying to spot Mary Pat.

"Ugh. There's no going back." Ruby said firmly, "Ever tell you guys about the sauce? I don't think I've even told Stan." That got the girls attention, "You gotta swear…"

"Promise." Beth said solemnly.

"Ride or die." Annie said with her pinky out, Ruby took it with hers and the deal was sealed.

Beth and Annie listened in horror to Ruby's suffering as a conductor for the Philharmonic of Cheap-ass Tony and his special sauce symphony.

Ruby shuddered as the end neared, "One day, a customer comes up to Tony, opens up his sub, and in the middle of those peppers and onions is my Band-Aid." Annie teary eyes surprised her, "Bih! Are you crying?"

"It's just so gross, I…" Annie's voice vanished into a whisper, "I can't."

"You never have to go back there, okay?" Beth reassured her.

Annie groaned in agreement, "We got you. And, hey... You know you're our blood." She added as an apology from her outburst at Mary Pat's door the other night.

Beth exchanged her own apologetic eye contact with Ruby, "You know that, right?"

Ruby nodded, "I love you guys. How was your _'date'_ by the way?"

Beth's eyebrows shot up to her hairline, "And how the hell do you know about my _date?"_

"Your sister, who else. She didn't stop texting about it. So... how was it?" Ruby pressed.

Beth gave Annie _the look,_ "Fine."

Annie scoffed, "Well, good luck in trying to get details, she been more tight-lipped about it than our aunt Georgina's kisses."

Ruby frowned in disgust, "Ew!"

Beth rolled her eyes at the two, she was still trying to process the events of yesterday, she was most definitely not ready to talk about any of it.

"I sure hope you didn't spread those pretty white legs!" Ruby stuck in casually.

"Dude! Oh my God... quit the twat swat already!" Annie turned to Ruby in anger, "Rio exhibits every sign of a vagenius, not to mention... she already gave him the pussy once! Her marriage is more than over! What's there to fiddle-faddle about?"

"You guys... I'm right here." Beth reminded calmly.

Ruby shot Annie with a thousand deadly daggers, "And you do not know your sister?! She's a fucking emotional sponge! When she falls… it's hook, line and sinker. She is in _love_ , and he's fucking playing her, that's what!"

Beth squeezed the bridge of her nose and sighed. _Fuck her life._

"No, no, no, no…" Annie chanted, "You beat the rug, dust the cave, unclog the pipes... no one is talking about love… you just fuck him… Right, Beth?"

Ruby scoffed, "I know he isn't… No one ditches men like him, like she _kinda_ did. What could he possibly want from her besides a little revenge for her defiance? But tell that to your love-stricken sister!"

"Jesus Beth, is that true?" Annie looked at her like she had grown another head all of a sudden, "You are in love with him?"

"We have bigger concerns right now. Mary Pat on two." Beth nodded towards the outside.

They got out of the car and helped Mary pat with the shopping bags and buckling up her children.

"Thank you. So much. Wow. Thank you so much for the help. I really appreciate it." Said Mary Pat.

Beth handed her a kraft paper bag, "$10,000."

"Yeah, that too." She giggled counting the money.

Annie rolled her eyes, "It's all there."

"So we're good now, right?" Asked Ruby.

"Yeah... Yeah, we're good... Till next month."

The girls' faces dropped. Annie was the first to express her shock, "Excuse me?"

"Whoa, I thought this was a one-time deal." Beth said outraged.

"Yeah, I... I mean, I thought I was a secret shopper." Mary Pat said with contempt, "Bye."

The women just stood there too flabbergasted to move while Mary Pat drove away.

/******/

After finally falling asleep at the wee hours of dawn, Beth woke up with the sound of dog whines and loud chewing. Still confused from sleep, she shot up from Bed with a yawn, sliding into her silk robe and fluffy slippers. Rubbing her tired baggy eyes she followed the sounds into the kitchen.

She immediately noticed something was off, the kitchen drawers and cabinets were open, and the noises were Buddy slurping at the dog food spilled all over the floor.

 _The money._ Her heartbeat sped to an intense hammering as she searched empty containers and her hiding spots, only to find it gone. It was all gone.

Her first instinct was to run to Danny's room... _Dean._ She almost tripped on her feet as she saw him in the makeshift gym room. Panicked, she didn't even think, she just blasted her lasers, straight into accusation.

"The money, Dean, where is it?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked confused.

"The cash that was all over the kitchen, it's gone, it's all gone. Did you take it?"

"No!" He finally removed his headphones, "Are you seriously accusing me right now?"

"You don't have the best track record with money, Dean." Beth stuck in.

"I didn't touch your stupid money!" He screamed at her, eyes flashing with a streak of anger.

Beth's brain immediately recognized danger, she took a step back. Dean sighed, "I didn't take the money." He reaffirmed calmly.

"Okay, who took it?" She asked still doubting him.

"I don't know. Who knows about it? Jeez, man."

Beth quickly did the math, the girls would never touch it, the only other person who knew... _Rio._ She turned on her heels like the Devil itself was poking her ass with his pitchfork, leaving Dean back to his stupid exercising. How the hell he had energy for that with all the treatment side effect beyond her comprehension.

/***********/

When she arrived at the coffee shop, he was already there in his usual all-black statement and golden chain, looking way more delicious than the plate of food placed in front of him. Her hammering heart slowed, but only marginally, as he immediately confirmed to be the culprit.

"Why did you take my money?" She asked outraged, still awaiting an explanation.

"Mm-mm." He shook his head while he chewed, "My money. Mine. We're gonna be shutting things down for a while."

"What does that even mean?" She asked baffled.

"I ran into a little stitch. When I feel heat, I don't mess around." He said, forking another mouthful and lifting it towards her, "My bad. Do you want some?"

"No…" Beth frowned, "What kind of stitch? The FBI kind or the gang kind?"

Rio ignored her question blatantly, "You sure you don't want to try it? They put the hash brown on the inside of this thing…"

Beth interrupted him, confused how he seemed so unconcerned, "I don't understand."

"Me neither, like... it's still so crispy." He said in high spirits.

"No," He brought the fork into her half hanging mouth and Beth had no other option but take it. He smiled with pleasure while she chewed, his eyes heating up with unmistakable desire as she swallowed, "I'm talking about the shutdown."

"Good, ain't it?" He asked as Beth stared at him with annoyance, gracing her with one of his smug half-smiles, completely aware he was pushing her buttons, "Mm. Yeah, you closed for business."

Beth couldn't afford a closedown, not with that leech, Mary Pat, sucking her money. Hell not even without her, she had plans for that money, "But you took all of it."

Rio shrugged unconcerned, "So?"

"So part of that was our cut!" She tried to keep calm, but she was being totally screwed over, "We worked our asses off for that money!"

"What do you want me to say? It's a company-wide shutdown. And if I got closing costs, everybody feels the pain." Rio explained.

Livid, Beth finally lost it and raged at him, "You can't just mess with people's lives like that!"

"You want to know what I can't do?" Rio eyed her as though his bullshit meter was ticking in the red zone. Beth sat straight as an arrow in her chair, the good-natured joking from before nothing but a mask that he'd let go off. "I can't do five to fifteen in FCI Milan 'cause some bitches need their pocket money."

He shot up from his chair, reached into his pocket and dropped a few bills over the table, Beth quickly snatched his wrist before he could leave, "How long?"

His eyes focused on her hand, "Excuse me?"

"How long are we shutdown?" She repeated.

"Till further notice." He grabbed her fingers with his free hand and leaned over the table.

She saw how his jaws ticked, the small scar that caused one of his eyebrows to be so unruly called to her, the urge to run her finger over it and fix it almost uncontrollable.

"We won't be seeing each other, I'm going off grid for a while…" He leaned even closer and his scent took over her personal space. Beth thought he was going to kiss her but his lips barely touched the corner of her mouth, the effect was even more devastating.

"Elizabeth…" He paused for a second, just holding her cheek in his rough, gunpowder fragranced palm, then let his thumb ran over the expanse of her lower lip, "Take care, sweetheart."

He tapped shoulder, barely a caress, and he was gone. Leaving her empty-handed in more ways than one. Pretty much penniless with a Mary Pat sized gap to fill, and very, very needy… the problem was her desire was no longer unwanted, just unfulfilled.

/**********/

Beth gathered the girls and dropped the news. Mary Pat was paid for the month, so at least they had some time, with luck they would be up and running by then. Left with no other option they decided to go "legit" for the time being. The secret shoppers were briefed on the revamping of the program, and they return to barely scraping by.

Ruby got herself a job at a donut parlour - teenage boss included - and instead of ketchup stains in her uniform she brought home donut grease, the frustration was still the same.

Annie had to swallow her pride and take Bummer's scorn while she begged for more shifts. More than having to pee into a cup at work, the supervised visits to her daughter at Gregg's were a hard lump to swallow, especially when Nancy was around, flaunting her esthetician scrubs and making sure Annie saw how lovey-dovey she and Gregg were.

For Beth, it was like someone had turned her Stepford system on, except this time it didn't fit like a glove. The old life disgusted her, the other moms annoyed her, the playdates were insufferable, the odious scrapbooking projects returned, part of her daily schedule.

Beth fought against her urges to just numb everything boldly. Withdrawal, was the worst thing she had to go through, and cold turkey-ing it was probably a terrible idea… the first days were pure hell, it felt like a massive bedridding flu, she ached, she shivered and itched. Practically "sleeping" on her bathtub for two days, unable to be more than two steps away from the toilet without puking or shiting herself, sometimes both at the same time. It was horrible and disgusting, but she did it... she never took another pill ever since.

Although she'd tried to flush the remaining of the pills down the toilet, the tub still sat on the back of her drawer... like that favourite comforter you had as a child. You knew you had outgrown it but you weren't able to let go of it, so you kept it tucked away, knowing it was there if you needed, that if you wanted you could still run your hand over its softness. It gave her a twisted peace of mind.

There were other things that she wasn't able to get rid off either, like her need for Rio.

She filled her days with nonsense in hopes to quench it, she was doing everything to try and keep him out of her mind, but it wasn't easy when your own daughter carried a photocopy of his smile or arched her unruly eyebrows just like he did.

The worst was at night when she was alone in bed, and he'd sneakily infiltrate into her dreams. Just the other night she'd woken up with his name on her lips and a mini-orgasm ripping through her sleep, only to see herself forced to seek her own release for the first time in years. It wasn't all bad, re-discovering her self-pleasure had made her realize she was on the right path to recovering her sexuality.

On the other hand, Dean was being so nice and attentive that she was starting to wonder if he really was trying to change, it left her feeling even more guilty about her lecherous thoughts.

/*********/

One month later, reunited in Beth's kitchen over coffee, they combined their efforts, which had amounted to nineteen hundred out of the ten grand needed.

Beth sighed, "Ugh... Is that it?"

"It's all I can spare right now." Ruby said.

"Same." Annie added.

"I can try and squeeze a tiny bit more out of Dean. I'm getting an allowance again." Ruby looked at her in surprise, "Don't look at me like that, he offered it and I took it."

"Hey, I am not throwing stones." She quickly riposted, "Last night, I got donut fat in my eye."

"I found a dead cat in a produce truck," Annie said cheerfully, "...not that it's a competition."

Ruby closed the envelope addressed to Mary Pat, "Well, it's not ten grand, but it's still a payday in my book."

"I mean, do you think she'll take it?" Annie asked with doubt.

"She'll take it and she'll like it." Ruby said, "Screw this bitch! I am so tired of this trick! We are shut the hell down. What does she want? Blood?"

It turned out Mary Pat did have a taste for blood. Beth and Annie heard Ruby's tale on how she'd been cornered at Sara's soccer game, Mary Pat threatening to tell stan about their ordeal.

"And if she tells him, he's not gonna look the other way. He's not Dean."

"No, he's a good person." Annie stated, only to get a murderous side look from Beth. Well, it was true… She hated what he had done to Beth. She hated the fact that a woman like her sister, so beautiful, intelligent and cunning had ended up a housewife for a man like Dean. Not that Annie herself could talk highly of her life choices, but Beth's philosophical and sophisticated tastes did not compute - at all - with her terrible taste in men, especially husbands.

"He's a cop, you guys! He'll leave me so fast he'll leave tread marks." Ruby assured.

"Then we've got to get her money." Beth declared.

"How? I'm working seven days a week, doubles and graveyards, and I still can't afford all the multiple genres of lawyers."

"You don't have to tell me!" Ruby screeched.

"I hate to say it…" Beth shrugged, "What else are we gonna do?"

Annie scoffed, "Wow! I'm just surprised that you want to rob something again."

"I don't want to."

Ruby barged, "But you don't _not_ want to."

"I want to stay ahead of a bad situation, and I'm not just talking about the Mary Pat thing." Beth explained.

"Every cent I saved went towards those damn hospital bills."

"Exactly," Beth continued, "And my mortgage is paid now, but what about next month?"

"So what are we talking about here?" Ruby asked, already brought by Beth's pitch.

Beth was secretly happy for finally getting some action, she had already thought about it, extensively, "I was thinking something kind of low-stress, like a 7/11."

Ruby quickly agreed, "I can get behind that."

"Except for the one on Lynwood, because I got him to sponsor the school."

"Good for you."

"Well, I'm out." Annie said, uncharacteristically the spoilsport.

Beth had to smile, "You're out?"

"It's just not a good time for me to get back into crime."

"Well, can we sync up iCals so I know when is?" Ruby said sarcastically.

"I'm facing a felony drug charge! I gotta keep a low profile."

Ruby scowled at her, "Well, you bitches didn't ask me if I wanted to kidnap a dude!"

Beth tilted her head in agreement, "That's true."

"It's different." Annie muttered under her breath.

Ruby fingers tapped the butcher block, stating her point, "Well, now it's my turn, and I ain't asking."

Beth and Annie exchanged a look, while Ruby read a text from the school principal, Sara was in some kind of trouble, they agreed to reunite the next day and discuss details.

Much later that night Beth shuffled through the mail, gawking at the amount of bills she had to pay and the barely on the black bank account statement.

Tired, she squeezed the bridge of her nose. The knock on the backyard door made her heart race, her first thought was on Rio. She practically jumped from the stool, dragging a hand through her hair before she opened the door, the disappointment was immediate. Annie stood in the door frame.

"Do you know what time it is?" Beth asked her.

Annie smiled and scooted through her, "It's showtime, baby! Hey, have you ever heard of hair oils? Is that like a thing people say?" She added straddling the breakfast stool while Beth closed the door, "I mean, it's definitely not, right?"

Beth frowned, waving her hands all over her sister, "What _is_ going on?"

Annie smiled like the lil' devil she was, "We're not robbing no 7/11! We gonna hit Nancy's spa!"

Ruby joined them early in the morning, Beth and Annie had spent all night planning the robbery. It was the perfect target, Annie had set Nancy as a chaperone to Sadie's field trip, no one would be there to recognize them. Three locations with the same exact layout and no cameras, although there was no 'real' money, the loot was flush.

It was a redistribution of wealth, like Beth had thrown so thoughtfully, insurance would cover it, and in Annie's mind Nance, had it coming.

Come Saturday, the simultaneous hit ran smoothly. Even tho, Annie, showed up late at the exchange location. They set the botox filled bags in her trunk and waited for Annie's contact, the deal already pre-arranged. A deal that never happened because Annie had fucked up, again.

"What are we gonna do? We still owe that bitch eight g's." Ruby said once they made themselves comfortable in Beth's living room.

Beth eyed the botox vials over her coffee table, "I wonder how much we can get for it."

"30, maybe 40 grand." Said Annie.

"We got nothing, 'cause we can't unload it!" Ruby stated the obvious problem.

"So we hit a snag!"

"Don't worry, done deal, piece of cake." Ruby rolled her eyes with contempt, "What am I leaving out?"

"Easy peasy." Offered Beth.

"I would never say _easy peasy!_ " Annie said in her defence, "So sue me, I didn't know it would come down to drug dealer semantics."

"There is a difference between injectables and injecting heroin." Beth nagged her.

"Well, this is how we learn."

"I can't believe you made us do this for nothing." Ruby stuck in, sore.

"Oh, I made you?" Annie raised her eyebrows with outrage, "That's rich coming from you, _Ms. I ain't askin'._ " Then she turned on Beth, "And you, with your judgey face that I can feel from here, I cannot! 'Cause we all know that this month has been killing you."

"It has not." Beth stated meekly.

Annie scoffed, "Oh! You've been crawling out of your skin like a frog in a slow boil, baby."

Beth turned to Ruby for help, only to be snubbed, "She's not wrong."

"Oh, great. You too? Pile it on."

"Oh, it's all so banal, the PTA, the playdates, the yoga! Each day, the flame grows a little hotter."

Ruby hit her chest with a closed fist, "She's been missing that hood life!"

Annie tsked,"Right? Peace."

"Whoa, whoa, wait, you're just gonna leave us here with this?" Beth muttered as Annie got up.

"You know what? I did my part. You handle this." Annie stopped on her way out, "After all... it ain't exactly the hood life but Rio you've been missing."

Beth rolled her eyes, but Ruby was already halfway up too, "Wait, wait, wait, you're leaving too?"

"I gotta haul Sara's fast ass down to the station - and scare her straight." Ruby said.

"Why?"

"'Cause that little heifer has been slinging stolen fidget spinners on the playground."

"Sara?" Beth asked with disbelief. Sara was most well behaved, head straight kid Beth ever knew.

Ruby shrugged morosely, "Like mother, like daughter, I guess."

"Hey, you know that's not the reason why." Beth said sympathetically.

"Yeah, right. Love you." Ruby lingered by the door, "Beth… be wise, okay?"

Beth nodded, "Love you."

Once she was alone, she picked her phone and texted Rio.

 _'Need to see you, ASAP.'_

The first contact, in four weeks. She wasn't sure if he was going to answer, so when her phone buzzed not even half a minute later, she read it with a mixture of relief and ecstasy.

 _'30 minutes the cafe'_

Beth stashed the vials in the garage and made her way to the van, she'd barely open the door when Dean's sedan made the corner. She waited until he parked in front of the house, Emma on the back seat.

"What happened? Isn't she supposed to be at the ballet class?" Beth questioned him as soon as he got out.

"It got cancelled."

"I have a... thing." Beth informed.

Dean frowned at her, "Well, I have chemo so."

"Right." Beth said, "Sorry, I forgot. I suppose I can take her with me. C'mon sweetie get in the van, mommy doesn't want to be late."

Dean seized her arm, "Are you meeting with him? I don't want him near Emma."

Beth tried to pull her arm free, but he didn't let go, "He won't harm her."

"And how would you know?" Dean leaned closer, "I _agreed_ to this shit 'cause we needed the money, but I didn't agree on you opening your mouth about Emma!"

Beth held his livid gaze, "He has the right to know, Dean."

The hold on her arm until then firm but unharming, became a death grip, "Don't you forget for a second that she is my daughter, Beth. Not his… Mine."

He finally let go of her arm, but not before planting a quick, disgusting kiss on her mouth. Beth could already feel the bruise forming, so much for a changed man. _God, she was an idiot._ Dean gave a last warning look and turned to Emma, "See you later, munchkin."

/********/

When Elizabeth entered through the cafe door, it was like a ray of light burst in the room. When she spotted and graced him with that snaggletooth smile of hers, it was like a very own piece of the sky had fallen on earth, the room too bright, too warm, too beautiful.

Keeping himself from seeing her was the hardest thing he'd done in a while, so when he got her text earlier he'd jumped into the opportunity without thinking twice, he was damn glad he did.

He'd miss her way too much and she was looking too damn gorgeous in that curve-hugging dress. The navy colour made her beautifully pale skin come to life, her hair taking on that red tone more than usual, her cheeks bright and peachy, pink plump lips begging to be kissed. But those man killer, electric blue eyes were something else.

He would never understand how women were able to walk in those torture devices called high heels, but he was fascinated by her elegant catwalking in those stilettos, captivated with the swing of her wide hips. It was more than enough to leave him hard as rock, but the small amount of displayed cleavage was enough to make any man insane.

He was sure she must have been kissed by Aphrodite herself at the time of her birth, bestowing her with all her goddess gifts. He had never seen a more sensual creature in his entire life, and Rio had had his share in hedonism.

Then there was a whole 'nother face to her, the embedded innocence. A pureness that not even her gloomy nature was able to erase. It made his heart sing.

His heart also sung for the little girl by her hand, she was the kid he always dreamed of having. And when her tiny arms rounded his neck, and her giggle reverberated near his chest, it felt like she really was.

After smooching his face in her usual fashion, and make herself comfortable over his knees, Emma patronized him with a mean look, "You didn't visit me, I've missed you. Mommy said you were very busy with work, but my daddy is always busy and he still kisses me goodnight, every night."

He had expected Dean to be long gone by now, trying to control the bout of anger, Rio gazed over Beth, searching for an explanation but she was avoiding his eyes. She was sitting as elegantly as she had walked in, her shapely legs tastefully exposed until the knee, her ankles were as delicate as her wrists. "Well, momma was right, conejito. I'm sorry I didn't go to visit, but I left you Pedro, I hope he has been doing a good job."

"Oh, yes. Pedro is Carl's best friend, my other bunny. They have been hunting all the monsters. Kenny helps sometimes, he's not scared anymore 'cause he is almost an adult now," Her eyes shone with solemn admiration, "He's eleven."

Rio chuckled and Beth couldn't hold her smile either, "Sweetie, why don't you go and pick up an ice-cream flavour, mommy has to talk with Rio, okay?"

"Two scoops?" She asked hopefully.

Beth agreed and she jumped in pleasure, making her way to the ice cream vitrine, Beth nodded in confirmation to the awaiting barista lifting two fingers, only then she turned her attention to him.

Rio licked his lips, "So, what was so urgent, sweetheart?"

"I want you to think of this as an opportunity to grow during the downtime." Beth dug into her purse and placed a small vial on the table, sliding it in his direction, "A chance to really flip your game, in a way that, if it's not completely legal... it is totally FDA-approved."  
Rio propped his chin in the palm of his hand, trying to contain a smile, "Mm-hmm."

Oblivious she kept throwing him her pitch, "This is essentially liquid money. I mean, it's literally liquid, but…"

Rio shook the Botox vial in his hand, "It's garbage. This stuff's poison."

"Not any more so than the substances your guys deal." Beth retorted.

"Who would I even sell it to?"

"Don't you know someone?"

"That rolls with a bunch of middle-aged ladies?" Rio chuckled, "Nah, man, not so much."

Emma made the way back to the table with her ice-cream and Beth instructed her to sit on the table next to theirs. They stood in silence for a second while Beth shifted in her seat with a frown, looking upset. Rio slanted his eyes, there was more to this than she was telling him, "How's your rotten egg?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said sharply.

"You said you handled it." Rio insisted.

"I did." She reassured him.

Rio didn't believe her for a minute. He tilted his head to the side and sneered at her, "Then why you trying to play me with this side-hustle stuff? I told you, we're shut down."

"And I told you I have expenses. I have four children, a mortgage. I can't just shut down." Her voice raised as she quick-fired at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Rio clenched his jaws, knowing, "She got you on the hook, now, right?"

It obviously hit on the spot, she outbursted at him, pronto. "I said I'm handling it!"

Even Emma, who was previously totally engrossed in her ice-cream looked at them surprised. Beth sighed heavily.

"Okay." Rio muttered while regarding her pensively, "You think you're a boss, now, huh? Your lily ass does two jobs and all of the sudden, you think you run the whole game?" That got her attention, she jutted her chin at him in defiance, her blue gaze hardening like steel, "Let me tell you something, you ain't no boss. And on the real, you ain't gonna be nothing till you get your house in order."

Her hand rested over the table, the urge to touch her irresistible, he covered it with his, caressing the sensitive skin of the side with his thumb, back and forward, while he softly stated what she already knew, "And you best not put that stuff in your face. You don't need it."

"Mommy!?" Emma's call broke the heavy tension brewing between them, she'd accidentally dropped the ice-cream bowl all over her lap. The chocolate covered mouth pouted and her pretty blue eyes welled with tears. Beth quickly went to her aid, reassuring she could have another scoop while she reached for the napkins only to find the holder empty, Rio found that the one on their table was empty too. Beth decided to play it safe and carried Emma to the restroom, it was too much of a mess for napkins anyways.

While Rio waited for them to come back an old lady approached him, "You have a beautiful family."

Rio frowned in confusion, "Excuse me?"

"Your daughter is just the most beautiful girl." The lady said, "One would think that she's all mother, but when you look closer you see she looks just like you." Rio forgot how to breathe, it was like someone had kneed his guts, "And most definitely she has your smile, my boy." The woman's tap over his shoulder appeared to be in slow-motion, "Congratulations, truly beautiful family. You two should have more kids, you make the cutest babies!"

Rio just stood there unable to move, less say anything as the old lady walked away with a chuckle. His gut was twisted in a painful knot. His hands sweating as he tried to assimilate what the old woman said. His first thought was just that she was crazy, it couldn't be… but it wasn't impossible.

He didn't even know the kid's age, but she couldn't be more than six, and the night he spent with Elizabeth... it was all raw, skin on skin.

Rio ran a shaky hand through his face, spreading it over his crisp hair in desperation. It would explain all these feelings he harboured for that child. It also possibly explained some of Beth's weird behaviours, the secret she was so reluctant to let go off.

Rio had no idea how long it passed, how long he just stood there breathing through his mouth, wrapped in waves of maybes, ifs and why's. It was the why's that were killing him. _Why didn't Beth told him? Why hiding it for so long? Unless she wasn't his daughter?_

His brain was muddled with all the possibilities, he was so in a zone, that he didn't even notice they were back until Emma's chubby little fingers covered his and she squeezed her way onto his lap, "Mommy said we have to go after I finish my ice cream." Rio glanced over Beth's figure ordering more ice-cream, his gut twisted even further and started to boil a bitter stew.

Rio gazed deeply into Emma's cute little face, it was almost like looking into a mirror, a very specific and area focused one, but still a mirror. Her eyebrows were shaped like his and as full and unruly. Her nose might be dainty like her mother's but the bridge was straight like his. Her half-smile indeed a copy of his own. With her next words, his heart soared in equal amounts of pain and pure adoration, "Please, don't take this long ever again, okay?"

With a constricted throat, he caressed her chubby cheek and gently tucked her long golden-brown hair to the side, exposing the back of her neck, "I think we'll be seeing each alot from this day on, mi conejito."

It was unnecessary, he was already sure, even before he spotted his family birthmark. Emma was his.

Rio didn't remember the last time he was this close to shedding a tear, probably never, but he wasn't about to start now. Instead, he aimed his raging pain to one target.

Elizabeth Boland.


	12. Sky-High

The flick of light embellished her face as she lit the last candle, funny, how she'd never lit these candles before.

It was part of her perfect facade; they were there for no particularly useful reason except to look pretty. It didn't matter that they never lived up to their purpose, they simply existed, untouchable inside their transparent encasing, apart but still in the bigger picture, almost desperate for a saving grace.

Lightning decorated the night sky and thunder cracked in the distance, the storm promising to be as tempestuous as her thoughts.

Beth closed the lantern lid and let herself drop on the wicker sofa, she could count by her fingers the times she sat and relaxed on the deck Dean had built at her insistence. She had made plans for a pool and an outdoor kitchen, but that was before Dean lost all their money… simple old times where she didn't have to worry about more than her little domestic life.

Beth drowned her thoughts with a large sip of Merlot. The temperature had risen with the promise of rain, the humidity could be felt crackling in the atmosphere, still, she shivered. Placing the glass on the coffee table, she brought her knees up and curled herself into a tight ball, snuggling the cozy knit throw over her bare shoulders and legs, the silk nighty did not provide any protection against the wildling Michigan weather. But it didn't matter, she wouldn't stay outside for too long.

After this terrible month, and the prospects of what she had to do tomorrow, she really needed to relax a bit. The pills might be out of question, but weed wasn't.

Like the unsuspecting dough-head Dean assumed she was, he thought she wasn't aware of the little stash in a ziplock, hidden in the chest-pocket of his bagged wedding suit.

Why he was trying to hide it was even more difficult to understand, it was not like they hadn't smoked together before. Pile it on the reasons their marriage failed.

Thankfully, there were a couple pre-rolled, the last time she did any of this was in college, even then she didn't perfect the art of rolling, she was always more of a binge drinker, shotgunning beers like a champ had been her claim to fame back in the day. Not that she enjoyed beer particularly, Dean used to say that she had a natural talent for sucking up. He wasn't wrong.

With the same lighter she used for the candles, Beth - clumsily - lit the joint. The cackle was hacked with sharp clouds of smoke and persistent coughing. Oh, if Annie could see her now! It would be a free round of everlasting ammo.

She took a couple of small hits, until she was used to heaviness in her chest. It wasn't near as heavy as the fear of driving a truck full of god knows what.

At least Mary Pat was paid until next month. Beth had tried to put the fear of God in her with a friendly warning that if they got caught she was going down too, but Mary Pat was a fucking tough bone to chew, and it was getting harder and harder for Beth to ingest her BS.

As if she hadn't enough going, Annie decided to sleep with Gregg and the aftermath was crying on her shoulder. Ruby found out that the "guy bleeding in Emma's room" was spilling the beans to the FBI and she had to go on something of a Sophie's choice.

Tell Rio and live with blood on her hands - because that's how it went, he would kill that kid, she was certain, especially after what she'd seen him do to that Russian man - or don't say anything and almost certainly go to jail.

Barring that she didn't have much of a problem choosing. The instinct to protect him from the FBI had come naturally and on par with the one to protect herself and the girls. She didn't want to lie to Rio more than she wanted to do 20 or more.

Thus, things went terribly off track when they met him that night. Ruby decides to fuck with their original plan, and even if with a good motive, Beth found herself omitting yet another thing from Rio, withholding vital information about his boy snitch, choosing to take Ruby's side when all her pores were screaming to tell him.

The annoying little smile he'd usually save for when the three of them were present - the one that seemed to say _Lord help me bear these bitches -_ disappeared right quick as Beth started to babble, _'Are you bitches trying to do this or not?'_

She'd waived under the chill of his dark eyes. Her insides writhed with the detrimental look, reminded of the snafu with the heirloom dolls. There was no clinical kiss this time, but she'd felt the cold tendrils of rage unfurl down her spine all the same.

 _How the fuck did she manage to get herself into these antagonistic stances all the freakin' time?_

She still had no fucking idea what got into her to come forward after Ruby's debacle with Stan and volunteer to drive the truck.

Beth frowned in disgust, despondency wouldn't do any good. And she did knew why she volunteered. Even with the concocted plan of using decoy vans, it was still extremely risky, Annie and Ruby were right, she needed the adrenaline, missed the thrill of doing all the bad things that good girls aren't supposed to do. And yes, she missed Rio, most of all.

 _God, she was all possible kinds of fucked up._

Edgy, Beth shifted on the seat as lightning flashed above, she took a hit and waited for the thunder to roll, the smoke burned down her throat and clogged her lungs.

After the meltdown surrounding the Gregg/Nance/IVF situation, Annie was finally gone; a couple of days of toilet hogging was the most Beth was able to tolerate, and the roasting over Dean - and Rio - was something she could definitely go without. Beth adored her sister, no doubt, but in small doses.

Dean had taken the kids to his mother for the weekend and Beth had promised to join them after she dealt with this new _job_ Rio had set them up for. Fairly confident she was used to the thickness of the smoke, Beth took a massive drag and closed her eyes, holding it in for as long as she dared, wishing for the THC to be quickly absorbed into her bloodstream by each and every tiny cavity in her lungs.

By then, Dean also expected to share her bed.

After subtly trying to get in her pants for the past weeks, he had finally cornered her last night, _suggesting_ that they should be back together as man and wife.

 _'Dean… I can't be with you anymore.'_

 _His puppy eyes had turned to her, pleading and soft, 'What nonsense is that? We have been working so well together! Just like before…'_

 _'Yes... and it reminded me that it isn't us. That,_ ** _that,_** _isn't you.' Beth stated._

 _'Maybe it can be. I am really trying here Beth, I haven't done anything but try to fix us.' He held her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss over her scarred palm._

 _Beth quickly pulled back, feeling a pang in her stomach and Rio hoovering in her mind. Dean clenched his jaws, frowning and towering above her, but there wasn't anger in his eyes only hurt, she didn't care, she had been hurt too._

 _'Well, yeah, it doesn't make me happy, it makes me angry! I spent so much time trying to figure out why you've done the things you've done, and I realized what I need to figure out is why don't I feel like I deserve more.'_

 _'Bethie…' He placed his hands over her shoulders and rubbed slow circles, repeating the same apology he'd given her early that week, 'You don't deserve anything I did to you… It's all on me, but I'm fighting for us and I can't do it alone, I need you! Don't you think all we built together deserves a shot? The kids? Us? I love you Beth and you love me. I know you still do.'_

 _She contemplated those clear blue eyes she had loved so long ago, 'You're right, I will always love you for what you gave me, my babies. It's not enough... I can't get past it, and honestly, I don't think I should have to. There is no us, not anymore.'_

 _Dean brought her into his chest, kissing the top of her head, his voice ragged by sorrow, 'Beth, no…'_

 _'If you really love me you have to let me go.' She whispered against his chest, sounding as stiff as her body._

 _His arms tightened around her, 'This is about that bounce house guy, isn't it? You're being a fool Beth. Whatever he is promising you, isn't real. You really think you can tell him about Emma, and what? Live happily ever after? Don't be naive... the things you're getting involved with, it won't end up good! You're putting a target not only on Emma, but all of them.'_

 _'Leave the kids out of this! It has nothing to do with them or Rio! It isn't just about you either, it's about everything we did to each other…' Beth said behind tight lips, but Dean kept talking over her._

 _'He is just using you to launder his money and get whatever you give him, if he finds about Emma you will be lucky if he doesn't give two shits and bails. But what if he wants her, huh? What if asks for Emma's custody?'_

 _It struck a nerve, deeply. 'He knows I'm a good mother. He wouldn't...'_

 _'Can you really trust him? Why was that FED here the other day, uh? He must have linked you guys somehow! Jesus, Beth! What if he makes you take the fall for him? Is that the more you deserve?'_

 _'No! Of course not. I-I…' She mumbled._

 _'Look, I can make it right for us, I promise on the kids that all I want is to mend my mistakes, make you happy, like before. Money won't be a problem for long, I'm on a fast track to recover our losses. Do you remember how good we used to be…" He smiled at her the goofy way that charmed her when they first met, all those years ago. 'Remember when we moved into our first apartment? It was a shithole, man... the hot water never worked and I still have nightmares about that ceiling leak dripping right next to the bed, but it didn't matter, not as long as I slept next to you.' Dean chuckled, his eyes beaming with the happy memories, 'Do you remember how we used to leave Kenny at my mother's, I would get that wine and we'd sneak away for a couple of hours?'_

 _'How could I not remember, it was on one of those escapades that I got pregnant with Danny.' Beth chuckled, 'I also remember that your wine choices were always fucking terrible!'_

 _Dean ran his hands up and down her arms, 'You never complained…'_

 _'I loved you too much to care about shitty wine.' Beth stated sadly._

 _His thumb caressed over her cheekbone, 'And then we had Jane and it was too much for my mother and we started to do picnics with the kids instead. Do you remember those?'_

 _'I could never forget the day Kenny fell in the water and you straight panicked forgetting the lake was knee deep and dived in! Beth cackled, 'Not to mention Kenny was a better swimmer than you by then.'_

 _'God… you're so beautiful. I haven't seen you laugh in so long that I almost forgot that's how I fell in love with you.' Dean had cradled her cheeks and kissed her gently, barely a brush of lips, a tender reminder of old and better times, 'It could be like that again, the six of us. Think about it Beth… I'll see you on Sunday.'_

And Beth thought about it. Extensively. And her mind did not change a bit; she wanted a divorce. Period.

Although she was grateful for her babies and all the good he did for her in the past, for him having - somehow - moved the botox, and for all the help, patience and understanding he'd instigated the last couple months, that kiss induced a bunch of nothing in her.

No fear, no love, nor pity. Nothing except the bittersweet feeling in the pit of her stomach while travelling down the fond memory lane, along the rough road they'd paved over 20 years.

When weighing everything, the balance did not lean in Dean's favour. All the terrible things stood heavier, they weren't palliated by one good deed, by a piece of furniture she didn't need, a lousy - even if seemingly truthful - apology honeyed over with a compliment when she finally told him the depth of her shenanigans with Rio.

Not only that, but the way he was trying to win her over by trying to control her emotions, resuming it to blithely domestic bliss, like she didn't have anything else, _was_ anything else.

And Ruby was definitely right about one thing, she had fallen hard for Rio.

A man she knew so little about yet was such a massive part of her life, a man who had given her more in three months and one night than Dean had taken from her in six years of marriage. And Beth had not weighted that, it would have been unfair.

She hadn't sought out these feelings, she didn't want to want him, she didn't want to love anyone but learn to love herself.

But Rio lingered in her body, under her skin, clutched at her heart, sailed her veins and occluded her every thought. And it terrified her.

She had given up her mind for the sake of her heart before, and the results had been disastrous. Maybe they were right, she was being naive, but she preferred to trip over a new mistake than to fall to Dean's old tricks.

Why follow a path that led her to a dark abyss when she could have one that guided her sky-high.

And even if only for a tiny margin of a chance she could have Rio. Possible or impossible. Right or wrong. Came hell or high water, she wanted him.

Beth picked up her phone, joint between her lips, she doubted for a second on what write. What do you even say to someone these days if you wanna hook up? Was even ' _hook up'_ still a term? Perhaps a bunch of those phallic food emojis that Annie used to tease her? Or was a simple come over enough? _God, she was too old for this shit!_

Suddenly reminded of his coldness towards her on their last encounter, Beth quickly deleted the few words she'd put down. The almost disdainful way he had treated her had taken her by surprise. It was like he finally was able to see her, as if he knew all her loathly dirty secrets.

With a defeated sigh, Beth gave up on the text message, instead, she connected the earbuds and pressed play, choosing to ignore the warning on the screen she blasted the volume to max and laid back on the seat. (Wolf Larsen - If I be Wrong)

The pitch dark night sky irradiated with the flash of another lightning bolt and her heart warmed with the flashback to their last kiss, sweet and relishing of trust. And then to the previous one, wanton and exhilarating as his fingers worked in and out of her.

There were no stars in the sky to give her answers, and wishful thinking wouldn't solve her problems. Beth closed her eyes and brought the joint to her lips, perhaps filling her lungs with weed was enough to quench the need between her legs.

Wrapped under the notes of the song, eyes closed, she let herself relax against the comfy wicker sofa and took another puff.

It didn't last long. All of a sudden she felt a presence. Beth shot her eyes open in alarm as someone removed her earbuds. Her mouth opened to scream bloody murder but instead, she choked on the smoke she'd forgotten in her lungs; coughing thick clouds of the pungent smog all over Rio's dark features.

He didn't even flinch, his dark eyes were slanted, glistening wickedly. Leaning so close over her that she couldn't even move without touching him.

"Having trouble, are we?" The corner of his mouth lifted slightly, granting her with the smug half-smile that never cease to disturb her.

Beth felt the velvet of his tone like a caress over her skin, a blush covered her cheeks as she coughed the last of the smoke trapped on her lungs, this time to the side.

"I didn't get the truck yet." She declared once recovered.

"I am aware." He said, eyes roaming over her clothes, or therefore, the lack of them.

Beth cleared her burning throat, "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood," He drawled, lifting his gaze to her eyes.

Beth gave him a hard stare, "Yeah, right."

"You gonna share, sweetheart?" He asked with a raise of an eyebrow, still leaning over her.

Beth gazed over his inscrutable obsidian orbs, wondering what was this about… he was near impossible to read. Giving up, she passed the joint to him. He took it and held it between his lips with a flare of mischief on his eyes that instantly alarmed Beth.

"What are you d… Aaargh!" Beth yelped in surprise as he scooped her from the sofa only to be dropped on his lap as he sat in her spot.

Beth swallowed the rest of her scream, as he settled her sideways over his strong thighs. Not surprisingly, he felt very much more comfortable than the padded seats.

He then removed his wool coat and hanged it over her shoulders, "Don't want my driver to catch a cold."

From her prime location, she saw how he drew deeply from the spliff, how his Adam's apple moved, unearthed, as he threw his head over the headrest and closed his eyes. The bushy, overextended eyelashes creating shadows over his cheekbones.

The smoke rolled in his parted mouth and was inhaled back through his nostrils. Beth found herself swallowing the sudden dryness in her throat. _God fucking preserve her!_ She would be damned if that wasn't the sexiest thing she'd ever seen.

"Hmm, not bad." He purred while exhaling.

Beth almost jumped as the low sound reverted through his chest, which she was glued to. Then his head shot up and he took another drag.

Deep brown gaze over her blue one, he descended for her lips. The tip of his tongue, warm, against her top lip as he slowly and erotically traced it. Beth moaned and opened her mouth, which was good 'cause he was already entering.

His free hand fisted her hair tightly. Beth did not fret about it, she pressed her breasts against his chest, _all_ of herself touching him as his tongue slid against hers. He tasted of weed and spice... the aftertaste was somehow even headier and left her wanting more, so much more.

His teeth grasped at her lower lip while he pulled at her hair, gently but firmly, tipping her head back, then softly blowing smoke into her parted lips. Beth closed her eyes took in his offering.

Rio running his tongue up her neck as the thick smoke glided down her throat was probably the most sensual experience of her life.

Beth then released the smoke gently over his face, she could feel his heart hammering, steady vigorous beats beneath her hand, and his erection persuasive, straining against her bare thigh.

They gazed at each other, no words were spoken, as they took drags from Rio's hand and shared smoke between ardent, overwhelming kisses.

With each drag she took in a bit of his strength, each stroke of his tongue erased chunks of apprehension, with each release of smoke she expelled her fears. Beth couldn't remember the last time she was this relaxed or aroused.

With the last of the joint came the last kiss. Rio didn't let go, one hand running through her soft curls the other cupping her jaw, the pad of his fingers making sinful things happening over her skin.

"This was... unexpected. It never crossed my mind you smoked."

His drawl was even lower than usual and Beth found her own voice unfamiliar, rich and packed with desire, "Well, I've found myself doing a lot of unexpected things lately, so…"

He laughed, an actual laugh, hearty and warm although a hint cynical. The combo left her mesmerized, shook her to the core.

"Fair enough." He said placing one of the earbuds in her and the other one in his ear. He grabbed her wine and made her sip from his hand, kissing her before taking a sip himself, Beth nestled against his chest as they listened to the rest of the song.

How ironic that this violent criminal, this man whom she kept so many secrets from, the man that she should be afraid off, more than any other, was the one that made her feel like a woman, made her feel harboured and secure.

Sudden tears started to well on the corner of her eyes. At first, she kept them under control, even as the knot in her throat grew as big as a fist and her bottom lip started to tremble, she refused to let them fall. Then the hand on her back slid up, all so gently, to her shoulder, the pads of his fingers barely touching her skin on the way down her bare arm until he reached her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Under the gentle touch and the pressure of her overbearing emotions, Beth cracked. The sob shook her whole body, and once the first one was out she wasn't able to stop anymore.

His jaws ticked, but he brought the coat lapels closer to her chest, lacing his arm around her waist, his fingers squeezed over her hip. Beth buried her head in his neck and inhaled the scent of him entwined with the one of gunpowder, which oddly she had grown to enjoy and associated with safety.

Beth gazed into those deep pools of darkness, "Promise me something…"

All his body tensed underneath her, and a thin layer of ice seemed to enclose all of him, right under her teared blurry eyes, "I don't make promises. You know this."

Beth ignored his words, she knew he could guarantee this, "If something happens to me, promise you will see to my family. Promise me that Annie, Ruby will have work, and my kids enough food on their table."

His lips formed a tight line, the chill emanating from him a bit into her skin, reaching her bones. His eyes slanted like he was trying to read the tiny lines, clauses on a contract he was unwilling to sign.

Horrified, Beth realized that she'd overstepped. What she was asking was absurd, she had no right to put him in such position. "I-I... I don't even know what… You don't have to do or promise anything. I-I'm sorry for this... for the waterworks too. I swear I don't cry this much..." She half sniffed, half moaned in shame while she dived her head onto his shoulder. "You said this shiz wasn't too bad! Isn't pot supposed to make you laugh?"

His powerful body relaxed with a chuckle, alas, it was lacklustre and bitter, like he didn't believe in a single word of what she had said, "I ain't no expert, but it might be this depressing tunes you're listening to, here…" He took his phone out and played a song on speakers. (The Internet - Special Affair)

Beth paid attention to the lyrics, and although she was starting to feel the euphoric start of the high kick in, a bizarre sink feeling overcome her. She turned to him with narrowed eyes, "Are you trying to tell me something with this or just making me thirsty?"

He tensed his thigh muscles underneath her ass making her jump a bit over his lap, her breasts bounced underneath the silk, his eyes dropping to her cleavage. "We can't deny that you love to sit on this throne."

Unable to resist the urge to taunt him back, she smiled coyly. "If you have a bottle of Patrón hidden somewhere I'm gonna start thinking you planned this whole thing."

"Maybe I did, everythin' in this world is open to interpretation," His smile was malicious and pure provocation, "I'm sure you'll work it out. You always do, sweetheart, even if it is on the basis of theft."

Beth puffed, as her brain tried to decipher what he meant, "I thought we had established that I am not a thief! Since when did you become a philosophizer anyways?"

The corner of his mouth lifted with that half-smile that never ceased to leave weak on her knees and equally disturbed, "Since you blew smoke on my face, _little Nietzsche."_

Beth felt the heat of embarrassment spread from her checks all the way down her chest, "How do you know that nickname?"

"You should think twice before sending your sister to do your dirty work, she has a loose lip and a tendency to mingle with the enemy." He said.

Beth made a mental note to whoop Annie's ass at the most convenient opportunity.

"I was under the assumption we weren't enemies," Beth stated as a powerful set of lightning bolts marred the sky above them.

He licked his lips, like he was ready to make a big tasty meal out of her, "No, but we do have a _special affair_ and you have a tendency to forget _who I am._ "

It felt like someone switched a lamp in her head, Patrón translated to Boss.

"Ooooh! I get it now, Patrón!" Nervous - and/or high - Beth started giggling, "It is all your fault! _They_ say that mixing pleasure with business is never a good idea." Beth traced his unruly eyebrow, appreciating the manly beauty of him, "But you do _make me feel all nice and comfortable."_

He dried the remnants of a tear with his thumb, the hand over her hip clutched just a tiny bit harder, "I think _t_ _hey_ were right." His eyes were two hard burning stones as he spread the moisture over her lower lip, "Since you're so comfortable, why don't you tell me what you've been meaning to tell me."

It felt like he'd pounced for her jugular. Faint, under his enigmatic gaze and the lyrics on the background, alarm bells blared in her head.

 _Your cover is blown._

 _Oh, dear God! Did he know? No, it was impossible for him to know._ But this was the opportunity she had been seeking, the time to come clean.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out, incapable of holding his stare as much as she was unable to tell him the truth.

Beth lowered her gaze and shook her head. _She couldn't tell him, not yet, not tonight... not now._

Rio captured her chin, forcing her to look at him, "Why so troubled, sweetheart? What's the problem?"

There was something in the burning embers of his eyes, hidden beneath his words. _Anger._

Appalled, Beth concluded that she was batshit crazy as an unexpected pang of lustful need concentrated in her lower belly, rushed through her veins, and pooled back to her core, aching between her legs.

Her voice came out low and sultry, "What if my problem is you?"

A spark flamed under those half-lidded dark eyes and he licked his lips in his trademark shtick, "Then I would have to say we rock on the same boat. You're a problem. And I have no idea what your philosophy has to say about that, little Nietzsche, but the way I solve problems is goin' through them."

Beth didn't think about consequences, what's or if's, she was tired of thinking, of doubting and measuring every step she took, she wanted to feel the pleasure she knew he could give her. Feel only pleasure, for once.

She straddled him, laced her arms around his neck and kissed him. There was no hesitation, he kissed her back, equally diligent. Moaning, she opened herself to him, deepening the kiss. She swept her tongue over his and tentatively ground her hips over his erection. He groaned with need but didn't rush her.

Relief washed over her as she broke the kiss, one of his hands had a firm grasp on her hip, the other was buried in her hair, but he did nothing to stop her.

His dark eyes were glistening black as coal, dilated in a mixture of lust and high. She liked how he was letting her take control, it put her at ease. She then did what she had been fantasizing of doing for a while, a very long while. Run the tip of her tongue over the inked lines on his throat.

With a low moan, he threw his head back to give her better access. His hand gripped a fistful of hair at her nape, rough, to the point it hurt.

Beth swallowed a sudden bout of jitters. She knew he could be dangerous, violent. The memory of him breaking that man's jaw was still very fresh in her mind. He oozed raw, brutal power, but the fingertips on her scalp rubbed small, round caresses, stroking in between each tight grip as she flicked her tongue over the inked skin.

He tasted exactly how it looked, wonderful and goldenly sun-kissed, warm, somewhat metallic, faintly salty from perspiration accumulated during the day.

Satisfied with his neck and fairly confident he wouldn't hurt her, she licked her way up his chin, her tongue caught on the coarseness of his stubble.

It sent an odd, yet, incredible erotic shiver down her spine at the same time he pushed his bulge against her core. The sudden wave of pleasure made her gasp, and a spurt of wetness flowed between her legs.

He groaned in response, as if he knew in detail what he was doing to her body. Her breasts felt suddenly heavy, the nipples tightening, begging for his touch. Not even half a second later he was cupping her silk covered tits in his large hands.

Beth kissed him deeply, the coat fell from her shoulders as she greedily ground her palpitating centre against him, heaping along with the knit throw around her hips. She moaned loudly as he pulled at her taut nipples, her head shot back and he took the opportunity to savour the exposed alabaster skin.

Beth left a trail of kisses wherever she was able, inhaling the scent of him, imprinting her senses with all things his, so there was no more room for doubt. Trembling hands darted to his shirt and worked on his buttons, tracing every swell of lean muscle that became visible, brushing the pads of her fingers against his flat nipples, the rigid ripples over his rib cage especially intriguing her.

Once his shirt was completely open, Beth let her silk covered breasts glide down his sculpted torso until she was kneeling between his parted legs. Undoing his belt and fly, she tugged at his jeans and underwear, his cock sprung to freedom in front of her awed eyes.

 _Far out! He was freaking hung!_ Beth duly noted as she cupped his girth, running his veiny length from tip to base. He was uncut, and she watched mesmerized as the meaty tip slowly revealed itself. Her fingers didn't fully circle him, the velvety skin was slightly darker and throbbed balmy against her hand.

The blurry memories from six years ago did not present a full picture and the encounter on the car had been too brief and lurching for her to really register anything. But if she had taken him once before, she could do it again. She damn well wanted to.

Holding his base, she leaned over his cock, the strands of her hair drifted over his belly, then brushed lightly across his groin. The tip of her tongue stroked the hard underside of his aching crown, dipping into the sensitive slit at the top.

As she took him in the warmth of her mouth, Rio threaded his fingers through the inviting tangle of reddish tresses. With a rumbling growl, his fingers trailed the curve of her skull and tangled deeper in her curls, gently aiding her progress as she slowly worked her way up and down his shaft.

Beth's lips released his swollen cock with a soft little _pop._ Rio's breath hitched and the tip beaded with pre-cum, a tiny gratification smile spread over her moist full lips. Full of confidence, Beth raked her fingernails through the short coarse hair at his base, her other hand cupped his balls before dipping over his shaft, taking the most of him she could.

His guttural growl filled the silence between lightning and thunder, Beth hummed in appreciation. The vibrations crawled through his gut, all the way up his spine. Her lips tightened around his cock as she pulled up. Rio groaned as she slowly worked the broad head between her lips, rolling her tongue beneath the taut crown, then sucking him deep down her throat.

"Fuck! You're killing me." He blew out, sounding like he'd run a marathon, a death grip on her hair, "Let's go inside..."

Beth hissed in pain as he hauled her a bit too harsh from his throbbing member, "No!"

The house was full of memories, they were like marks, bruises on her soul… there were no bad souvenirs or echoes from the past in here, it was new and pristine. She needed a fresh restart before she could begin to plaster the tattered gashes.

"Here," She mumbled as he dragged her up against his hard chest. "I want you right here."

With an eager groan, his hands firmly cupped her ass cheeks, bringing her to a straddle over his hard cock. Rio's dark head swooped to her clavicle, the whetted edges of his teeth scraped the sensitive skin, and right after, his soft lips pressed teasing wet kisses over the area.

Knowing she was close to the moment of truth, old and customary wariness clawed at the back of her brain like her nails clawed over his muscled shoulders. Her vision started to play tricks on her, it was like she was watching from the inside of a fishbowl, Beth squeezed her eyes shut, but to no avail, her breath did not reach her lungs the harder she tried, her stomach twisted and turned dangerously.

Dean was not that big or near as strong and he still hurt her when he chose to. Violence was an integrated part of Rio, what if she couldn't go through with it and he forced her?

 _No._ He's not Dean.

He doesn't feel like Dean. He doesn't taste like Dean. He doesn't touch like Dean. He's nothing like Dean. _It's not Dean._ Beth repeated to herself.

As if sensing something was wrong he stopped mid-kiss and eased her clutched flingers from his shoulder, his drawl was thicker and heavily laced with desire, "Elizabeth..."

Beth batted her eyes at the red indentations her nails left on his golden brown skin. As suddenly as it had started, the panicking ceased.

She was unsure if it was her repeated mantra, the weed, his touch, or the unique way he said her full name, maybe it was the combination of it all, but it snapped her out of it. It felt like a slap to reality, and her reality was nothing but pleasure.

 _It was different._ Rape was not a form of sex, it was a form of assault. Assault was traumatizing. Sex felt good.

Over the past weeks she had been on a self-rediscovering journey, it was an incredible and powerful experience to feel reunited with her body, feel wholly after such a long time. Sex was still a viable option, she wasn't completely broken, she was capable of sexual fulfilment.

This was sex, and she wanted it. She wanted Rio.

The tip of his tongue ran over the scar on her palm like a caress of silk, he pressed a little kissed right over where he had sutured.

When he spoke again, his palm was pressed against her chest, right over her wildly beating heart. His tone was acidic and his dark eyes guarded, "I've always wondered if you'd ever remove this armour you wear so well. Tried to picture what's really under this translucent fragile skin. But the truth is that your walls were never breached. You never planned to let me in there, and that's that."

Beth shook her head, "You're right, you never breached my walls... You climbed every stone and brick that put up. But you're wrong about my armour... I have none left, you've stripped it from me, piece by piece. And the scariest part is that I had no say in the matter... you've saturated every fracture and nook of my soul, embedded my mind. I have no more strength to build anything. And I am so tired! Tired of fighting against it, of pushing you away." Beth paused and gazing deeply into his eyes, "I want to trust you, Rio… And I very much want you."

Beth pulled the thin straps down her shoulders, the silk glided effortlessly over her smooth skin, heaping at her hips and leaving her upper body completely exposed, bared and as vulnerable as her soul, "Whatever I am, what is left of me… I want it to be yours. Please, make it true, make me yours."

There was something brewing in the air, more intense than the electric storm clacking in the sky above, so fierce and arousing that Beth's core clenched and fluttered.

The waft of pleasure was as conflictive as the man causing it himself. Beth was never more keen, nor more afraid of anything in her life. She waited, patiently impatient, as his dark-eyed gaze moved from her naked body to the blue depths of her eyes.

Rio's jaws ticked, his whole body tensed as she stated her request, there was a desperately wretched tone to her voice that gripped at his heart.

He hadn't planned for anything of this, the guy he'd put to _look_ over the house had given him misleading info, he wasn't expecting anyone to be home, then he saw the backyard lights and before he knew he was crossing the fence.

He'd come here in search of the truths that - he was now sure - would never come out from her mouth. The only truth he got was that he was a fucking fool, prepared to rip out his own heart out of his chest and place it in her hands.

Since the fatidic discovery, he'd lost his ground and hadn't found it yet. He was lost and in unfamiliar territory. He always had a map, a plan, and a destination… but this witch had even taken that from him.

Without a clear idea on how to proceed and with his rage on boiling point, he'd muttered an excuse and fled from that coffee shop as fast as his feet could move him. He never fled a problem before, but it had been for the best, at that stage he didn't know what he was capable of doing - or more, he did - and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt his little baby girl in any way. By God, he vowed to stay away from Beth until he'd cooled down.

But then he got word that his associate was flipped by the FBI, the kid had proven to be trustworthy before, but he couldn't trust his own belly not to betray him when hungry... Thus, who safer than a bunch of cookie-cutter housewives to run a harmless bogus operation?

Besides, he wasn't completely ruthless, he knew they needed the money. That night, he did his best to shield himself from those lying soft lips, vetoing her hurtful glances, but it was to no avail.

Tonight had been no different. One look at her... it was all it took.

His breath was stolen and his heart might as well have crawled up his throat and throbbed his way to her when he saw those curves enveloped by blue silk.

Her magnificent breasts precariously on hold by the lace trim of her nightgown. The tip of the joint flaming between her full lips as she casually laid on her back surrounded by a grey knit throw, thick smoke and a halo of candlelight and thunderbolt. A vision from the heavens, but surely conceived by the devil himself.

Despite all the warnings his head gave him - like the idiot he was - he followed his heart. Dropping more hints than a crossword clue, all of which she blatantly chose to ignore. Even giving her one last chance to come clean, she chose not to take it.

He might be dazed by the curves of her body, intrigued by the false promises of her lips, but his mind was yet to be lost to her siren song.

He saw her tactics clearly and for what they were; a desperate Hail Mary to keep him under her thumb.

The delicate and golden orbs of her breasts reminded him of sky lanterns; the soft candlelight permeated her translucent skin, making her seem to be glowing from the inside out, powered by the heat of her inner flame, the scent of her arousal burned headier than weed.

 _So, she wanted to be his? Aight'... He would make her his._

He would give his body what it so desperately wanted. Sweat her out of his system like he was ridding himself from a bad cold. Until nothing lingered of her but the invisible thread that would always connect them, their daughter, Emma.

He would fuck her till she couldn't lift a finger, until they were both drenched in her juices and the sweet scent of sex, melt her until she was soft, vulnerable and helpless, then he would lay his final hand on the table and win the game.

He didn't say a word. He willingly dived into those deep ocean blue eyes, fully aware if he wasn't careful she could still drown him, he just had to stay afloat.

The kiss was urgent, deep and ravenous. He was sure he was hurting her, that her lips would be swollen in the morning, but didn't care. He wanted to hurt her almost as much as he wanted to fuck her. His need was like no other he'd ever experienced before.

Rio cupped and squeezed her luscious tits, licking his way down her chin, neck and the valley between her breasts, he sucked at the top of her mound hard and long enough to leave a red mark that would surely bruise later.

Her moans doubled in intensity as he circled her areola with his lips, sucking her tight nub deep inside his mouth, while one hand lifted the hem at her front and urgently slid in her panties.

Beth sucked in a huge breath in as his fingers touched her, tensing for a brief moment as he circled her entrance. Rio frowned as she gulped audibly, she looked slightly apprehensive and her pupils were huge, but she was so wet, her panties so drenched with her juices that the fabric clung to the back of his hand, and he so heady that it was all discarded as effects from the weed.

He rubbed two moistened, expert fingers over her clit and she started to relax again, her hips bucked as he ran the seam of her pussy and buried them deep in her core.

"Oh, God! Please! I need you... Now!" She moaned, digging her nails into his flesh.

His thumb worked magic over her clit, his fingers gained momentum, in and out of her deliciously tight cunt.

Rio just smiled, that wicked side thing, hooked his fingers inside her and pulled out. All of her quivered and stiffened at the same time, her mouth parted into a silent moan, the big O surely one nanometer away for happening.

Rio gazed at her from under hooded eyes, took his fingers into his mouth, humming in delight as he suckled them clean of her juices.

"You taste exactly as I remembered. Golden." He grabbed her chin and brought her closer, "But when you come, sweetheart... your tang is titillating, as rousing as a flame."

He didn't give her time to blush, he kissed her voraciously, making sure she tasted her golden flavour over his tongue. "Do you wanna taste your fire, Elizabeth?"

"Yes," She whispered breathlessly as Rio pushed the fabric of her panties aside.

Beth brought her hand between them and circled his member, rubbing it up and down her slick seam before guiding the swollen crown to her entrance.

Rio tried to ignore the twinge in his heart as Beth slowly encased him in a perfect snug fitting. His short nails dug into her hips, but the moan of pleasure was impossible to quench as she let her forehead fall to his, her chest heaving as she panted, struggling to take the last of him.

"It's okay. It's okay." She mumbled as if talking to herself and not to him, "I just need a minute."

He couldn't hold another second, let alone a minute. He slid his hands over the round buttocks, reaching for her wet labia and spreading her wide, with a powerful thrust of his hips he foisted her to the brim.

Her lips parted with a gasp, still holding her open, Rio eased out of her warmth and plunged again. Capturing her cry of pleasure in his mouth, he repeated the process, each thrust increasingly powerful, harder and to the hilt. It took two more thrusts until he was met with no resistance, she yielded, thoroughly adjusted to him.

Her eyes were shuttered, her lips swollen and parted, in an almost painful expression. Rio started to wonder if he'd hurt her, "You good?"

Her cheekbones shaded to a darker tinge, the flush spread down her chest as she let out a "yes", it was so breathy and fuckin' erotic that his cock throbbed more than ready to explode in her velvety nucleus. Beth moaned and graced him with a clench of her inner muscles that left his balls agonizingly tight.

With his cock sheathed deep in her mellow warmth, Rio was compelled to hold still for a moment and take in the sight of her. He'd never seen a prettier picture.

Her incredible translucent skin was smoother than the silk around her waist, her soft curves perfectly shaped for the hard planes of his muscles. The rosy nipples were erect and inviting. The lush flesh of her labia spread and accommodating, gloriously creaming his fingers as well as his cock. Her nails carving her mark on his shoulder blades. The staggering womanly scent of her filled his nostrils, intoxicating his senses. The jugular vein on her graceful neck pulsated to the rhythm of his own heart.

Their fit was of exquisite magnificence and Rio wondered if it would ever feel like this with anyone else. He didn't want to dwell on his feelings, this was nothing but what it was supposed to be, good sex with a side of revenge, played over his winning hand.

'Cause she might be perfection but also damnation she was.

Rio squeezed her hip bones, Beth tentatively rocked her hips on a spectacular circular motion that caused blood to pool and pound heavily in his head.

He took one of her nipples in his mouth and suckled hard while his hands guided her hips, establishing a paced rhythm as she undulated skillfully on his cock.

Her moans were soft but so lustful and drawn close together, that they sounded like music to his ears. Thunder rolled on the background as it belonged in her song, her breasts bounced up and down, conducting the cadence of her moans. Her hips rocked, taking him deep inside her wet cave, her light skin slapped his melanated one, altogether composing the perfect symphony.

With a growl, Rio squeezed the large mounds together and nibbled at the soft tops, the white skin immediately streaked with red marks left by his honed canines. He didn't really care. _She wanted to be his, right? T'was how he made her his._

With that in mind, Rio rolled her nipples even harsher between his fingers, gaining him a lewd moan and a buck of her hips.

 _Que Dios bendiga sus tetas!_ How he wanted to come all over them! Surely they were the 8th wonder of the world... in close competing with her sweet, sweet pussy. _As a matter of fact, what better way to claim her than fill her with his cum?_

Free to move as she please, Beth set herself on tip of his cock and leaned forward, arching her back, she rotated her hips while dipping.

Rio almost lost his mind when she climbed up and her inner lips clutched like a vice around the sensitive crown before she glided down his shaft again.

Beth swapped between shallow takes and balls deep swallows, but each time she came up the result was the same; her walls clasped tightly around his cock and until her pussy lips were the only thing securing him.

She did it again and again, until Rio thought he was gonna explode like a green boy. _Puta que parió! The woman knew how to ride a man to insanity!_

His only relief was that she didn't seem to be faring better than him, her jaws were tense, her hands closed to tight fists over his collar bone muscle, nails jabbing his flesh with each dive.

Her movements sped along with the intensity of her moans, her hips bucked erratic, walls clenching, milking him harder with each descend over his shaft. Heat roared through him like a bushfire, stoking savage need.

With a growl, he wrapped a hand around her nape and brought her mouth to his, the curve of her breasts crushed against the hard planes of his chest as he circled her waist with his arm. Swallowing her whimpers, he seized a round buttock. Secure in place, he pumped into her with all his might.

Her body response was a primal as his, lacing her arms around his neck, she arched against him, retributing each thrust of his with one of her own. Her inner walls began to flutter around him, the friction inside her only inflamed him further.

"Look at me. I want to watch you come." He growled, bringing two fingers over her clit.

She shook her head and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Rio fought against the savage demands of his body, but it was futile.

He stilled himself, hoping to contain his load at least for another second, and rolled his fingers over the rigid nub. She was so fucking wet that he slid right off, barely issuing enough pressure. But it worked.

"Oh, God! Rio... Please!" Beth hissed against his skin.

He did it again only to have her sinking her teeth in his neck, her core spasming and him leaking.

"Fuuuck!" His hand fisted her tresses, hauling her from his neck, he glued her nose to his, hissing in pain, there was blood on her lips, his blood. The minx had cut into his skin and still, she kept her eyes closed.

"Elizabeth… Look at me." He demanded again, jerking her head back and jolting his cock into her with each word.

Her breathing ragged, her eyes shot open as her mouth hung half opened for a silent scream. A wave of heat encased his cock and her walls spasmed greedily around him, pulling him into a storm more powerful than the one unleashing above.

But he wasn't ready to let go just yet, he hauled her from him and held on to every once sanity. His cock jerked edged in between her ass cleft, a squirt of cum splattered her lower back. Rio contracted all his muscles, his balls tightened and his dick throbbed with the denial of release. _Not yet. He was far from done with her._

He took her mouth into a searing kiss, tasting his own blood over her tongue, grabbed her ass and rolled them over.

Beth propped herself onto her elbows, half leaned on the couch corner, all of her quivered as he hooked his fingers on her panties waistband and yanked them all the way down her shapely legs.

Her blush spread all the way down her body as he kneeled and spread her creamy white thighs wide open, leaning over her glistening slit in awe.

 _Ay, Dios mio_ … it was still the prettiest pussy he'd ever seen.

He ran his fingers over her silky seam, Beth let out a breathless moan, her belly contracted and he was rewarded with a visible and extremely erotic clench of her vaginal well. Heady for a taste of her, he parted the deep pink petals, running the tip his tongue along the rimmed edges before latching onto her small nub.

Her eyes rolled back before she closed her eyelids, her moan guttural, her hips bucked as he lashed his tongue over her clit. Covetous, her thighs mured his head in place, her hand grasped the wicker edge so tight that her knuckles turned white, while the other curved around his skull.

Rio mouthed her inner labia, pulling and releasing between the flicks of his tongue on her clit, utterly satisfied when she bit into her lower lip and arched her back, her sweet tangy cream seeped, coating his tongue.

Rio skimmed his fingers through the trimmed patch of tarnished gold hair, circling her navel with the pads of his fingers and up her breast, ruthlessly pinching a taut nipple.

Beth threw her head against the cushions, hissing. "Oh, my… fuck!"

Rio released her labia with a soft pop, his voice contrasting harshly. "You gonna cum for me again, sweetheart?"

"Yes!" She moaned, as he circled her opening with two fingers.

Rio hummed against her clit, the vibration reverberated through her sex, while his fingers plunged deep into her, she didn't need much else.

The lightning of pleasure pierced through her fiercer than the lightning striking the night skies. Beth swooned overwhelmed with the mayhem, trembled with the might of culmination. Pleasure imploded in her core and unfurled outwards in waves of languid heat.

The first drop of promised rain landed in the valley of her breasts, dewing for a second before sizzling into the heat of her skin. Rio crushed his chest against hers, nudging his cock at her sleek entrance while a firm hand circled her neck, his strong fingers indented her nape bringing her parted mouth to his, smearing the golden blaze of her release over her tongue with a ravenous kiss.

Beth barely had it in her to embrace him, her hands finding the muscled curve of his glutes under the loose waist of his jeans and held on tight while she was filled to the brim with thorough and divinely deep thrusts. And like he'd vowed, she burned.


	13. Free Falling Pt1

A moan raked up her throat as Rio's flattened tongue ran over her seam and up her cleft, making her jump a little when it meandered over the sensitive nub of nerve endings. Honed teeth and soft lips teased the delicate dimples on her lower back. The rough tongue licked the up curve of each cheek before sucking the area into his mouth, brawny hands squeezed at the fleshy mounds only to spread them wide for the tip of his tongue to flick on her anus, dipping into it while the carefully cultivated 15'o clock shadow bit into the sides of the sensitive flesh. It took her breath away and turned her legs into a jelly wobble.

She had to support her weight on her arms, palms propped over the marble vanity as he made his way up her spine, the rugged surface absorbing the droplets of water trickling from her wet mane. The plush towel caressed her shoulder blades before wrapping around the wet tresses.

Rio dried her hair with gentle squeezes, massaging the towel over her scalp, his darkened orbs observed her in the mirror, no words had been spoken since he'd branded her insides with a mighty jerk of his hips and a guttural _fuck._ He'd kissed her while the skies poured over them, his lips finding hers parted as she moaned her pleasure, the cold rain sizzling on their feverish skin, making her shiver along with the staggering effects of their lovemaking.

Rio had wrapped his jacket over her shoulders and carried her to the shower while she clutched to their wet phones. Her mind in turmoil, her body in a haze of languid commotion as he slid them out of their damp clothes, his cock still hard and throbbing for her.

The hot water had relaxed her overworked muscles along with the fondling of his hands. Under the curtain of water, she'd traced every ripple of muscle, followed the path of his veiny arms all the way up to the back of his triceps where she'd raked her nails over the thick inked strips there. He'd caressed the soapy luffa all over her skin, giving extra attention to her breasts, placing soft kisses where her skin was marked by his crude attentions. His cock had pulsated, hot, against her lower belly when she dragged her nails through his shoulder blades all the way down to squeeze the perfectly tight rounds of his glutes while he kissed her until she'd felt hollow in her bones.

Sex with him was everything she had expected, and yet so much more. It had been her wildest dreams and her worst fears. The roughness she was expecting from him, not the way it had come from her. It was plainly obvious he was angry, maybe the snag with the money laundering was bigger than he'd anticipated, maybe he'd found out about the kid, maybe he was just angry at her. There had been moments where she had no doubt his anger was directed to her, others where he'd seem to be fighting against it, moments, where his anger would mingle with something else and those dark eyes would melt and shimmer with the tenderness she'd known from him.

Now the perfection of him was welcomed on her back, his strong arm folded over her chest, his indicator tracing the bruising mark his mouth had left on her breast.

"You wanna talk 'bout it?" He drawled as his eyes met hers in the mirror, chin propped in the crook of her neck.

"No," She turned to face him. Her fingertips ran the full sleekness of his eyebrows. He closed his eyes as her touch tended over his cheekbones, her nails rasping through the coarse side whiskers and unruly beard. She was aware of the elephant in the room, she wasn't ignoring it like 'twas the white crayon in the box. It was just that, right now, this moment, it was all she had. She wanted to map all of him to her memory, take everything she could, everything he wanted to give her because she was excruciatingly aware she might not have tomorrow with him.

After that truck delivery, she was done with passing the peas, she was gonna hump that elephant, for once and for all.

Lacing her arms around his corded neck, she leaned into the hollow there, her tongue swirled its way up his neck tattoo. The scent of her almond milk and honey body wash impregnated her nostrils, it combined well with him, with his golden skin. "I want you to take me again." She whispered over his lips, "And again."

His dark gaze blazed with lust, the towel dropped to the floor, his hands seized the round of her buttocks and lifted her, Beth quickly wrapped her legs around the small of his waist.

"Good, 'cuz I need to have you again. And again." He growled, plunging for her lips.

The bathroom door almost splintered from the hinges as it was slammed open, two large steps and she was thrown onto the bed. Rio stared at her with those deep-set black eyes while she tittered, propping herself on her elbows.

"Eager?"

"Very. You have no idea what that laugh of yours does to me." Beth swallowed the hard lump that had suddenly formed on her throat. If it was half of what his side smile did to her insides, he was in trouble. "Turn around." He said.

Beth quickly did as told, turning around and perking her ass towards him. The fervour in his gaze made her swim in her own juices. Or maybe it was the sight of him, standing there with all his supreme might, more than ready to take her, to do what she asked of him. This kinda control - when she was aware it was nothing but eidolon, that he was doing it to please her - it flicked something dark in her.

His muscled form waved as he stalked towards her, the deep carved V leading to his groin did nothing but enhance the hard mast pointed at her. _God, he was a vision._

He grabbed her hips and pulled her up so she was on all fours by the edge of the bed. His hands caressed the rounds of her buttocks, before running his fingers through her slick folds. "And you have no idea what this does to me." He growled as he felt the wetness there, "What you do to me."

Beth didn't have time to wonder, he dived into her. Stretching her to her limit. _God,_ she never felt so full in her life as when the coarse hair at his base tickled the sensitive skin of her natal cleft.

The deep grunt coming from him, only made her headier. The smack stung over her creamy buttock, but the tight grip on her hips avoided her bucking. And then she was lost.

He drove into her again and again, deeper and harder, the damp locks of her hair whipped wildly over her nape and shoulders as she arched her back, enjoying the abundance of him filling her repeatedly. Elevating her higher with each slap of skin on skin. _Was it possible to die from pleasure? 'Cause if it was she wanted to go like this._

Then he was climbing in bed with her, urging her a couple of inches further in bed, lacing an arm around her ribcage and hauling her up, her back glued to his torso as he kept fucking her from behind.

Beth threw her ass to meet his strokes while he rolled her tight nipples between his fingers and suckled on her neck. The pressured he'd built in her core started to compress, ready to explode, her inner walls thwarted around him, the friction was amazing, she felt cramped and just about to burst in tiny little, sparks and suddenly, hindered from release.

"Fuck..." He drawled pulling out of her, leaving her empty and whimpering, shaking at the loss of such perfection. "That ass… I almost came."

"So did I." She pouted.

"Eager, uh?" He chuckled and damn... it reverberated all the way down there, along with the smack to her ass, "Lay down. I'll take care of you."

Aching, she crawled closer to the centre and prostrated herself on the mattress, "Like this?"

Rio grabbed her ankles and fused her legs together, "Like this." There was a moment of wonderstruck silence before the deep voice drawled over her, "I'll be damned if you don't glow like the finest silver. I ain't never seen skin like yours."

Beth held her breath as he crawled his way up her body nibbling at the back of her legs, placing a kiss on each rounding hill. Then he was straddling her, spreading the ass cheeks he'd just kissed and entering her.

Beth groaned as he started moving. Just the goddamn tip, barely in and out. And it was all so fucking slow and deliciously sweet that it felt like maddening torture. She couldn't urge him like before, he was in total control, she could only beg. And hell, she did.

"Rio! Please!"

He chuckled again, right next to her ear as he leaned over her, stroking deeper, just. "Relax, sweetheart. You feel way too good and I wanna enjoy it."

Beth whimpered as he filled her with one deliberately slow and incredibly long stroke, "You can enjoy me later. I need this."

She could feel his smirk even from behind, "Aight, madam... I want that pussy all over my face, later."

Oh, she had no problems with that, at all. Especially when he be grabbed her buttocks for leverage and started pumping into her like it was God's command, hitting right where he should.

The constricted sexy growls coming from him incited her further. Heat flared through her, like fire through dry pastures, blazed through her veins like a molten inferno. Everything accumulating in her lower parts, right at the end of her spine, where his thumbs dented into the venus dimples, burning deep in her linings, and even sultrier in her core.

Beth arched as it all faded into nothing, tiny sparks flooded her vision and she bit into the linen, the silent scream leaving her throat raw.

But it wasn't over. Rio flipped her around, his knee spread her boneless thighs apart and he slipped back into her, she was so fucking wet that the sound was unholy obscene. But so intriguing and incredibly erotic that she was sure the blush spreading on her cheeks was nothing but her habitual idiosyncrasies.

Rio spread his fingers through her entangled mane, compelling her eyes open as he slowly filled her. Those midnight eyes probing into her soul, searching for answers she wasn't willing to give just yet. She lingered there for a second letting him see her, just not past everything, she kept the ugliness from him, he didn't need to see that, not when he already carried his own cross of troubles.

Beth cupped his jaws in her palms and kissed him. Just lips on lips, seeping in their softness until he closed his eyes, then she closed hers and gave him what she couldn't show him, all of her.

His response was potent, inebriating her with the swing of his hips and the taste of his mouth, with the feel of him. She pressed her heels into his glutes, wanting more, so much more.

He grabbed her wrists, pinning them over her head, while he descended a string of nibbling kisses down her neck, latching on the taut peak of her nipple.

Her nipple was pulled and released as he sat back, the certified look in his eye told her he was gonna make her cum, again.

Her pussy was already clenching around him when he gripped her hip joints and pulled her into him. Beth wailed at the sense of being gloriously filled, he then laced an arm around her and pulled her up.

Her tits crushed against the rigid planes of his chest while she sat on his powerful thighs. Impaled on the hardness of his cock, her nails made nest into his jacked shoulders.

 _God, all of him was solid muscle and grace masculinity._ Beth noted as her forehead fell to his, her eyes dropping to where they were joined in intimate perfection. _Made for her._

Rio captured her mouth and they started moving, swiftly sending all her nerve endings into commotion as he undulated his hips building pressure over her clit with each and every deep thrust of his cock.

It didn't take much to have her panting, she was not even sure if she had come totally down from the previous orgasm.

"Oh... fuck, Rio!" She moaned as he seized her buttocks, plummeting her up and down his shaft, increasing the speed and strength of his own dives.

His cock jerked inside her, their movements erratic as he growled in her mouth, the heat almost unbearable as he pumped his release inside her, then she exploded.

Wave after wave of blossoming pleasure, tingling just under her skin, blasting her nervous system with way too much more than what she was able to process. Everything blacked out, except him. Everything was too intense with him, too close to the edge, brimming over the container, impossible to restrain. Too much yet too little, never enough.

"Dios…" Rio mumbled out of breath. Somehow they had fallen into the mattress and his weight was nearly squashing her, he propped himself on shaky elbows. All of him was shaking, but so was she.

He rolled out of her and fell heavily onto his back, panting. "Jesus, woman." He mumbled again.

Beth just stared at the ceiling for what resembled an eternity, too wired to process, too mesmerized to do anything else but breathe and feel Rio's heaving heat beside her.

A sudden snort started to broil in her throat, her fit of giggling quickly filled the room. Rio turned to her, face propped in his palm, his breathing almost back to normal "You know, a less confident man would start doubting his skills."

Beth mimicked his position, a lazy smile spreading over her lips, "We both know you're not lacking... anywhere."

He captured a lock of her hair, twisting it around his finger, "Even if it wasn't the case, it would have been worth it, I love to hear your laugh."

Overwhelmed by emotion, Beth caught his hand after he'd settled the lock behind her ear, and like he'd done a million times to her, she kissed his palm, "Thank you."

His unruly eyebrows furrowed, "For?"

Beth traced the curve of his lower lip, the crisp whiskers of his underlip caught in her fingerpad, "This."

Beth leaned over him and kissed him like she couldn't kiss him tomorrow.

* * *

Rio ran his fingers through the smooth expanse of her flesh, her breath tickled over his chest in a regular cadence, her arm possessively around his waist in her sleep. His mouth still tasted of her.

He squeezed her tighter as the sun filtered through the shades of the French doors. Keeping his doubts and rage enclosed and tightly sealed for the night had been extremely easy, but that was nothin' new, she had ways with him, ways he was still far away from figuring.

He'd hated it when he'd seen the vivid red marks on her breasts and neck turn purple under the raindrops, although they had been done in the heat of the moment, his intentions hadn't been on pleasuring her but hurting her. Hurting her was hurting himself... was hurting Emma. He didn't want that. He should have left when he'd seen the vision of her in that blue silk.

He had been unable to that as much as he had been unable to stop himself from bruising her.

Doing this, staying, was against what he was all about, but his reasoning fell short against what he felt when her lips claimed his. His will had flayed at the sweet and needy way she'd given herself to him.

He was not a man of doubts, he knew what he wanted, pursued it and got it. Not when it came to Beth. With her all was so meddled and torn. He had never felt this confused in his life, neither this hurt. Hurt and loving it at the same time. She was the best and the worst. The peak and the rock bottom. Everything he wanted, all he shunned.

Gutted as much as he was pussy struck, he'd given himself the night to love her and the tomorrow to fight her.

But before the morning came he had already lost.

Defeated in a game he'd held the better cards. But it was what it was, every stroke of luck eventually bled through. He'd heard more than once the only way to win was to never play at all, it never made sense until that day.

His true defeat was when he got up to get some water, a photo of Emma and car-man pinned to the fridge door. It was a photo of Kenny's birthday, he'd seen it live and it had churned and twisted his guts with envy. Emma in his arms, smiling at him with untarnished reverence, daughter and father love seeping from the picture. This time he swore he felt something die inside him a little.

He would never be able to be Emma's father, she already had one.

The truth squeezed at his heart like a fist, but before he could even process what he was feeling, she appeared like a vision wrapped in a floral crimson kimono.

She was glowing, looking like she had been thoroughly fucked, which she had. Then her voice, raspy with that early-morning quality that only made her sound sexier to his ears asking him if he needed anything, when he answered with a no, her sleepy snaggletooth smile had stirred something in him. _'Then let's go back to bed… I believe I still have to sit on your face.'_

It felt like magic, his pain gone, subdued by another more pressing kind of hurt.

Magic had also unfurled in that bedroom. He was no Prince Charming, nor she was Cinderella, there was no fairy godmother to make his dreams come true, but as daylight seeped through the spell was broken all the same.

He got up, glad when she didn't stir and dressed up in the bathroom, the anti-contraceptive pills laying around in the corner of the vanity between vitamins and whatnots caught his eye, making him breathe a little easier. He didn't even think about protection, and they certainly didn't need another predicament.

When he left the bathroom it was impossible not to stagger at the sight of her. She'd had rolled in her sleep, the dark blue sheet had slid down her body, revealing her midriff and contrasting beautifully with her alabaster skin, the rosy nipple was tight with the exposure to a lower temp, her jugular pulsated steady on the graceful curve of her neck, her lips were swollen and the exact same colour of her nipples, her hair was a fanned mayhem over the pillow reflecting the dimmed light into a gentle burning smoulder, but it was her closed eyes that taunted him.

Rio averted his gaze with a twinge to his chest, quickly closing the French doors behind him. He didn't look back, afraid that she'd wake up and cast that immense blue gaze over him, he knew he would never let go.

As the door clicked into the lock, the bolt he'd placed in his heart unfastened and it all unleashed.

* * *

She almost got arrested and there was nothing in that truck! Nothing! Nada! Empty!

She glanced at her phone again, her text was marked as seen. She dropped her phone back in her purse with a sigh.

Her heart had almost stopped as she'd seen the police car in the rearview mirror. Her first thought was that she would never see her children again. She'd sucked in the tears, managing to keep her voice almost steady while she recited the speech she'd told many times in her head.

 _Dean can't do it alone. No bimbos near my kids. Monday's pizza day. Dance Tuesday. Same as the math tutor. The dentist appointments are on the refrigerator. Trash and recycling go out Wednesdays. I'll write it all down, but he'll need a village._

Her heart had pumped wildly as she unsuccessfully threw her lip at the police officer, when she was asked to open the back, she thought she'd freak out, instead, a dead calm overcame her, her hands hadn't even shook as she fiddled with the jumble of keys. Appalled, she'd waited for her fate as the officer used a bolt cutter on the lock, flinched as the door screeched open.

Empty.

That's how she felt for a moment, drained of everything except for the adrenaline pumping in her veins. The exhilaration quickly steamed to anger as the police officer threatened to fine her and arrest her if she didn't calm down.

 _How dared he to put her in this situation? What games was he playing at? Why make her go get an empty truck? Why?_

Beth mused in the questions anew, only accomplishing further incertitude. She fished her phone from her purse, again. Ten minutes. That was how long she had been waiting for him to step out from that warehouse door. The space in the truck seemed to cram with tension at every ticking second.

It didn't help her mood that she'd woken up way past midday with a knock on her door and an empty bed, feeling so depleted that it took a good two minutes to actually move, there was no evidence of his presence besides the ones in her body and the scent of him lingering in her sheets.

She'd pulled the robe closer into her body as she made way to the front door, one of Rio's boys stood there - Bullit, she thought that was his name - with a pink box in hand. He hadn't said much more than a "for you", dropped the box in her hands and left. Closing the door with her foot, she quickly lifted the lid, not sure what to expect.

Twelve perfect danishes stared her in the face. Something had churned in the pit of her stomach as she picked up the small note stashed in between pastries with trembling fingers, the words were still carved in her brain:

 _Enjoy the sweetness, darling._

 _I made sure you couldn't miss any of it this time._

There was no signature, it wasn't needed. Perhaps it was meant to be a sweet gesture, a funny remark referenced to that night six years ago, but the bitterness that had stalled in the back of her throat led her to think otherwise. She hadn't seen the original note, he knew this, she had explained and he still didn't believe her. The subtle knock embedded in his written word said that much.

Something cold had set over her skin, she almost dropped the box as she made her way to the bedroom, checking her phone for any sign of him, that everything was okay, that she was acting crazy, that it was all in her mind.

But there was nothing.

She didn't want to seem needy when she wrote him the text, so she simply said she would get the truck today, then she'd quickly added a thank you for the danishes, she didn't want to come across as ungrateful either.

She wasn't expecting anything after last night, she hadn't asked for anything either, but when he answered with a _"K"_ her heart shattered a bit. It felt so cold, so ominous, it wasn't what she was expecting after she'd felt so close to him, after she'd given everything she could. It hadn't been enough. She wasn't enough and he hadn't even seen the worst of her. It still didn't give him the right to put her through this, this wasn't what she'd signed up for… being stopped by the police, almost arrested 'cause of his stupid games!

As her temper flared to a boil she started to doubt her decision of waiting inside the truck maybe the cold would have calmed her down.

Finally, his muscled shape appeared by the door. Beth forgot everything about calming down as a pang of hurt twinged her heart. She quickly engulfed it with her anger, like hell she was gonna let him hurt her! She slammed the door as he made his way to her with that stalking dip of his, hands in his pockets.

"I just got pulled over!" She snarled, sashaying to meet him halfway.

"So?" He replied unconcerned, it only flared her further.

"So, I barely talked myself out of being arrested!"

"For driving an empty truck?"

"Why didn't you do it yourself? Why did you need us to bring you an empty truck?" She demanded to know.

He rolled his shoulders like she was an annoying little bug pestering him with her questions, "I had a kid. The Feds turned him."

Her stomach flipped like a pancake with the realization that he'd used her. "So this is a test?" She spat behind gritted teeth.

"Needed to know if he talked. I guess he didn't." He stated calmly, like it wasn't a big deal.

"And now we're back in business." She spewed with all her anger. "I guess last night was part of your little test too, uh?"

"You're catching on. Give me the keys."

Her heart twinged painfully at his words, the flip her stomach did before landing... on hard concrete, "I have a family. I have children."

"Yeah, you love telling me that, huh?" He retorted, followed by a cynical chuckle that froze her bones, "You just like to dismiss the fact that Emma is mine, huh?"

Everything dropped to the pit of her stomach, she almost swayed with a wave of dizziness.

"How… H-How did you find out?" Her voice fading as it all clicked into place, his recent attitude, the anger, the "sweet" little message with the danishes, it was all calculated.

"Does it matter?" He retaliated, a flash of anger crossed the icy barrier over his eyes, "It wasn't from you!"

"I don't think it would have made a difference in the way you're treating me right now! You knew and you still slept with me!"

"Don't make this 'bout us, it ain't. Believe me, you ain't worth the trouble you cause, darlin'."

It was like he was looking at walking garbage. Her worst fears had come true, sadly they'd wrecked her by tenfold more than she'd anticipated. It felt like she'd been fisted in the guts, and after what last night meant to her it was like he'd ripped her beating heart straight out of her chest. Her jaws clenched painfully as she tried to swallow the wave of pain, it didn't help, it kept unfurling in her insides. She couldn't blame him, but she wasn't having it either, being used for his little schemes like this.

Her chest puffed with anger, finger pointing at him, "If you think you can use me like a worm on a hook so that you don't get caught…"

"I ain't got time to hold your hand through this." He snapped at her, "Give me the keys."

It was the last straw, a red fog blurred her vision, anger and indignation gave way to wrath. She didn't even think, she just did it. As soon as the keys hit his face, she regretted it. She immediately sensed she had crossed a line there. She tried to put up a big front, squaring her shoulders, flapping the lapel of her blazer with sass, but she already knew it. Even before the words were out of his mouth, before he'd strutted the few paces they were apart, even before he'd picked up the keys from the floor, she knew it the second his eyes met hers.

"That family you're always talking about? Go home to 'em. What me and you had is done. Over."

It still crushed her to the ground when he turned his back on her and walked away.

"You can't just fire us." She mouthed off to his back.

"You think I need you?" He retorted over his shoulder, she wasn't even worth is full attention, "Ain't nothing but a damn charity case to me."

"We need the money." Her voice fell short, a mere caricature of how she felt.

"And I need more of your bitch-ass drama like I need a hole in my head." His jaws ticked, "Go home."

Beth just stood there, her floor sinking as she observed him climb back the steps.

"What do you mean, you had a kid? What happened to him?" He staggered slightly, she could see his jaws ticking even from the distance as he resumed his walk, "What's that you're always saying about your rotten eggs and how you have to handle 'em?"

"Go home." He repeated as he grabbed the door handle.

"I don't see how you're gonna let me do that." The words came out strangled, as he walked closer to the platform edge. It was like that day at Kenny's birthday party, he had the higher ground and moral one too. That day she'd felt nothing but his magnetic pull, impossible to resist. Tonight, that pull was still there, it was fear that kept her grounded. "You're going to take Emma from me, aren't you?"

He licked his lips in his usual shtick, head cocked to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets, gloating over her.

"But people like you don't bother with taking it to the courtroom, and I know so much, right? Your charity case turned into leverage..." Her voice flattered, "Is it gonna be you? Or do I come home one day and your boys are in my kitchen?"

"Elizabeth…" The second of hesitation as he clenched his jaws made her think he was gonna pop that golden gun out of his pocket and do it right there. Instead, the softness of his voice made a hole in her soul. Disappointment and hurt mingled with the violence of his glare. "Go home."

She felt something shatter inside of her as the door banged to a close. There was no healing nor going back from that.

* * *

The next day passed in a dark and poisonous haze, avoiding Dean's questioning looks and silent promises over rashes of bacon and sunny side eggs, endless loads of washing and folding clothes and the expectation of dying at any given second.

She had barely caught a shut-eye after leaving Ruby's with more questions than resolutions. And after dousing herself in her cheapest whiskey and crafting glue while she concocted a hybrid between a memo and a calendar with all the things she'd most certainly miss out from now on, one way or another, she'd curled in the bed that still smelled of him, only to find out she had no tears to cry. But her heart was surely bleeding, and not in her chest but wherever Rio had dumped it.

Both women sat in front of her now, mugs of freshly brewed coffee steaming over the picnic table. The giggles and screeches of their kids playing in the background punctuated the tense silence between them.

"How'd you sleep?" Ruby finally asked.

"I didn't," Beth replied cradling the mug between her hands with the intention if warming her cold fingers. All of her was cold since Rio turned his back on her. She took a sip, the brew so hot it burned down her esophagus, still, she was unable to keep the warmth in her body.

"You sure you can't fix it?" Annie muttered over her mug.

"It wasn't like the other times." She repeated for the hundredth time, "There's nothing I can do. In fact, guys... I'm so sorry. I f'd up. I'm the cause of all this. He learned the truth about Emma."

"Wasn't he supposed to?" Annie frowned in confusion.

"I didn't tell him, he found out."

"How?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know," She said softly.

"What are we going to do?" Annie uttered.

"I don't know." Beth repeated.

"You guys... Maybe we should turn ourselves in." Annie offered.

"You want to go to the cops?" Beth snickered in disbelief.

"Now you want to go to the cops?" Ruby stuck in.

"We'll go to jail, Annie."

"Well, it's better than waiting to be murdered in some gnarly way that I haven't even thought of yet." Annie reasoned.

"We got the call. Sara got a match." Ruby said, interrupting the heavy silence that had fallen over them, "What if it goes to someone else?"

Beth glanced at the kids, Emma dressed as a princess with her cute tulle and plastic tiara. It seemed just yesterday when she was having tea parties with Ruby and Annie. Even when she'd favoured climbing trees or ride her bike, she'd foolishly dreamt an enchanted castle of her own and a prince charming to sweep her away in his white horse.

Her hopes were crushed, chewed and spat out. Life had a funny way to twist things. She was so done following the rules, done being nice.

"All those fairy tales they told us when we were little girls? The morals were always if you're good and if you follow the rules, if you don't lie and you don't cheat, if you're good, you'll get good things. And if you're a dick, you get punished. But what if the people who made up those stories are the dicks?"

"Are you following her? Ruby asked Annie.

Annie frowned, "Mm, mas o menos."

"What if the bad people made all that up so the good people never get anything good?" Beth continued.

"And now I'm lost." Ruby said, "What's the takeaway?"

"It doesn't matter what we've done, we're the good guys. He's the criminal here. He's the one who should be in jail. Not us."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"Right?" Beth asserted, slamming her finger on the table.

"Hell to the yeah right." Annie howled.

"Then let's put him there." Ruby declared.

And they did.


	14. Free Falling Pt2

The bar was empty this early in the day, but he wasn't here for company. At Lucky's, only Bernard cleaning glasses behind the counter and Carlos, his second-in-command and what Rio might have called a best-friend, sat at the tall table with him, a bottle of tequila resting between the two of them. The 'No Good Girls Allowed' neon sign mocked him from the wall.

"Imma tear that shit down," Rio muttered as the fourth tequila shot burned down his throat, he eased the burn with a swing of cold beer.

Carlos rolled his large shoulders besides him, "It ain't gonna solve your problem."

"How the fuck do I solve my problem, uh?" Rio said slamming the shot glass on the table top.

Carlos chuckled filling the glass again, "First, you gonna get a helluva a headache."

"So be it," Rio shouted lifting his glass in the air.

"Then when you've slept it over, you call that premium fee lawyer of yours and get the kid custody."

That stopped the glass halfway to his mouth. "I can't."

Carlos stroked his large beard has Rio focused his attention back to the sign, "That bitch had you cunt-struck since she walked through those goddamn doors all those years ago. You a fool when it comes to that woman."

"Yous was here and I ain't ever denied it." Rio let it slip as he drank the remaining liquid, he wasn't wrong and Rio had no reason to pretend with Carlos, the first and possibly only person he'd shared that he had a daughter. "It'd be easy if 'twas about her. But it ain't, it 'bout the kid. If I went through a custody battle, I'd be only thinkin' 'bout me."

"I ain't seein' your point." Carlos gravelled as he sipped from his tequila, lento. Cause someone had to do the driving, it wouldn't be Rio tonight, not with he had already drunk. "It's your kid. It's your right."

"My point is that Emma already has a full life with all she needs. Elizabeth might be a lying bitch, but she's the best mother I've never seen." Rio served himself another, chugging it with the throwback of his head, "My point is that _my kid_ already has a daddy."

Then he grabbed one of the snooker cues and slid it under the neon light, pulling with all his might and frustration. The end broke from the connector sending a blaze of sparks into the air, the sign flashed a couple of times until it finally died, hanging from the other end. Bernard was frozen mid glass cleaning, looking at them with boggled eyes until Rio plastered an irate look on him and he swiftly went back to cleaning.

"Feel better?" Carlos's smirk was barely visible under the thick beard.

Rio was starting to think that under all that chaotic mess was a plethoric babyface. He would keep that thought in mind if he ever needed to be punched in the nuts.

"No."

"Told you it wouldn't help, but this might."

Rio sniggered as Carlos handed him another shot, which he quickly drowned, slumping like a sad sack on the high stool. "I dunno what to do. I told Beth we done but can't stop feelin' I made a mistake. I can't stop thinkin' 'bout her either. Both of them. I— I always wanted a kid. And Emma, she just looks so much like her, with those huge blue eyes and pale skin and shit— She's so beautiful and smart, and kinda cunning." Rio knew he was grinning like a fool, he didn't care. "The lil' shit had me wrapped around her thumb since day one."

"The apple didn't fall too far from the tree, uh? Just like mommy." Carlos mumbled. That only earned him a frown from Rio, then his bear claw tapped his shoulder, almost sending his resting elbow out of the tabletop, "Kid's lucky tho, didn't come out with your ugly-ass face! Congratulations!"

"Shut the fuck up," Rio slumped under his breath, but both men were smiling when Rio added, _"T_ _í_ _o Carlos."_

That's when it happened. The door blasted open with a team of people jostling each other in, M4 carbines surveying and aimed, the tactical vests had FBI printed in big and bold yellow font.

Rio didn't resist, it would have been stupid to, following the orders he knelt down, fingers interlacing behind the back of his head. Turner walked in, smirking, as they recited his charges and rights.

Rio just smirked back. He was only stupid concerning one thing, _Elizabeth Motherfucking Boland._

* * *

The disgusting proof of her husband's lies stared her right in the face. Beth never felt more humiliated in her life.

She'd sent Mary Pat on her way with a concocted plan to keep Boomer off their toes, wondering what kinda hurdle life was prepping for her to jump next when the phone rang with the news that Dean had been on a car accident. She dropped everything and ran to the hospital like the good lil' wifey she was set on being from now on.

Beth had honestly felt relieved when she was told he was going to be fine. The first hit to her pride was the face the doctor made as she babbled about cancer medication and side effects, then, the confused expression while she flicked through his file, and finally the pity as she confirmed they had taken his blood. Beth could stand many things but pity wasn't one of them.

She'd fell heavily onto the nearest chair, clutching the ziplock with her husband's valuables to her belly. For what seemed an interminable haze she had just sat there, the uncomfortable hospital chair squaring her ass into dull pain while she revived her husband dishonesty and her own voluntary naivety, until she had finally remembered that Mary was watching the kids, probably worried sick without any news of Dean. _God! The woman didn't deserve the son she had._ She'd dug through her purse, looking for her phone, only to find it dead. With a sigh of frustration, she was about to go in search of a payphone when she remembered the bag with Dean's things, his phone was in there.

She could have called it her sixth sense when a couple of unseen text messages prickled her interest. She didn't have the habit of going through his phone, but a tiny voice abraded her brain — _What else has he been lying about?_

The reminder of that bedazzled vagina floss added to the whole fake cancer tale quickly shifted her point of view. She didn't know his passcode, but this was Dean, whose choice of password was, lamely, the same, for everything. Her eyes had rolled to be back of her head, cringing when she unlocked the phone on the first go. She'd opened the first text without thinking twice.

There was no name attributed to the number and the text a pretty inoffensive "When?", but then she'd scrolled down, only to be confronted with a photo. A photo of a woman. A naked woman. A woman with jizz all over her petite and haughty breasts. A woman she knew. A woman whose son played in Danny's soccer team, a woman for whom Beth had baked tuna casseroles when her husband had tragically passed away.

The drooling emoji sent by Dean in response made her throat parched with revulsion. But there was more to be revolted about, so much more.

She scrolled through countless filthy texts and dick pics, Dean's dick pics. Different numbers belonging to nameless women - and there were a lot of women - on the other hand, the distasteful pick-up-lines and gross convos were kept the same. The photo gallery was a mix of her children smiling and naked bodies, some of them with very familiar faces. Her stomach turned as she was faced with a photo of herself, sleeping, Dean had to creep on her to take that, it was recent, a couple of weeks ago. It left her feeling violated on a whole new level. There were a few videos too, but she couldn't bother herself of going through the humiliation of seeing her husband fucking other women.

It was the dates that got to her. There were grainy nudes as old as 7 years ago stored in his icloud. Way before she'd gotten involved with a tattooed stranger in a one-night-stand.

Her belly churned, she felt the back of her eyes swollen but was incapable of shedding a tear. Not that she wanted to, not in this particular case, not for her very own gullibility. The waiting room seemed too small all of a sudden, too constricted even when there was anyone else there, she couldn't breathe, her throat closed, her chest lurched, tight and heavy. She bobbed forward, placing her head between her knees and took deep breaths, inhaling deeply through her nose, and exhaling slowly through her mouth.

All this time, all these years, played and manipulated. Pegged to a string of never-ending lies. Trapped because of her betrayal, because of how Dean liked to remind her so much, she was the one who had destroyed their marriage.

LIES... all of it. He didn't love her. He didn't care, he never did. To think she was set on forgiving the worst kind of scumbag in the word was just another nick to her pride.

The tv caught her attention at the mention of the Fine & Frugal robbery, Rio's handsome face replaced journalist's in the tv screen. Beth didn't know how to feel about it, seeing him cuffed and embarked into an FBI vehicle. Relief for sure. She didn't want to process the rest of it.

It didn't matter, their plan had worked. She'd done it. It was over.

A tiny smile spread over her lips. Well, almost. She still had to be over with Dean.

She got up, the ziplock bag fell to the floor with a clink of keys, she didn't bother with picking it up. She ringed Annie as she cat-walked through the corridors chutzpah-ting the shit out of her hips, her smile unfolding as the plan took shape in her mind.

Annie picked up at the 4th ring. "Why are you calling me from Dean's number?" She asked after Beth said her hello.

"Not important." Beth replied, "Listen, that lawyer of yours, she's good, right?"

"You gonna need to specify, I have a whole legal team at disposition." Annie quipped.

"The family one. The one that's taking care of your custody thing."

"Yeah, she's badass." She confirmed.

"Great. Text me her number."

Beth could feel Annie's frown even through the phone line, "Why?"

"Cause I'm getting divorced. Yesterday." Beth smiled as she pushed the double doors open, it had been a godawful long time since she felt this weightless, it was good, the crown she was about to wear would probably weight that much.

* * *

"It's not a great time to have my assets frozen, you know what I have at stake at the moment." Rio kept a neutral voice but his defence lawyer, and friend of more years than he could count, easily read his tension.

Gretchen Zorada's sharp voice cut through the interrogatory room's heavy silence. "My hands are tied here, Rio. There are only so many miracles even I can do."

But Rio knew her as well, and he didn't like what he was hearing. Not when he knew that this woman was like a rottweiler after a bone. They had their differences over the years but in that, they were the same. They never gave up until they got what they wanted.

Her body tensed as she sat straight as an arrow by the edge of the metal table, "They have a witness."

Rio felt his forehead wrinkling into a deep frown. The information although not totally surprising wasn't well received. "Is it a woman? Do you have a name?"

"I don't know, yet." The caramel gaze lost all its sweetness, her determined nose crinkled up, "But perhaps you know more than my sources?"

She snapped her tight and very professional ponytail at his silence, "Now is not the time to hide info from me. If you know who it is you have to tell me so I can fix it."

"No." His reply was too quick, Gretchen's eyes widened in surprise. "I'll deal with this personally."

Her full lips curved full of mockery, "Please don't tell me this was the aftermath of an enraged ex-girlfriend."

Rio wished it was that simple. Not that he had confirmation on his suspicions, not yet. Call it sixth sense or a burned back. It wouldn't be the first time she'd stabbed him in the back. It wouldn't be the first time he had underestimated her either. But it would be the last, for both cases.

Rio retributed one of his unreadable half-smiles, "Just get me out of here, _Zorra_."

The use of her nickname, earn him a smile of the well defined red lips, "They have another 24 hours and they are going use them." Gretchen shrugged, "You're not exactly helping me here." She added grabbing her briefcase and made way to the door, "And I hate to be at a disadvantage."

The swollen red lips were full of irony now. Rio still remembered when they used to swell from his kisses a long time ago. They had romantically parted ways rather quickly, both smart enough to know it wasn't a good idea to mix business with pleasure, both knowing they had more to win keeping their business partnership over a few heated tosses on the sheets. The bickering friendship lingered tho.

Rio retributed the sarcasm, "Oh! How could I forget, darlin'."

She chuckled and winked, that perky ass hollering at him from the plaid fitted pants might have struck as an invitation and any other time he might have taken it. But his head and heart still roasted in the fire of another beautiful and far more dangerous woman.

Strong and intelligent women were his weakness, but only one was his goddamn curse. Possibly his demise.

* * *

Beth folded the black button-up shirt collar over her necklace, adjusting the bar of solid gold with her name engraved right under the first button. Her fingers traced the indentations in the necklace.

 _Elizabeth… Go home._

She shook her head to erase the memory and took a step back, observing her full attire in the mirror. Just a touch of bright red lipstick and she was good. A day ago she wouldn't have needed it, her lips inflamed by Rio's kisses. Her hand trembled a bit as she mapped their shape with the pointy end of the chapstick, the bed reflected in the mirror brought more to her mind than his kisses.

With a sigh, she drew the blazer's linen lapels close together and fastened the buttons. The fit cut hugged her curves and the matching chequered cigarette pants shaped her legs and butt nicely, aided furthermore by the 6-inch pumps. She looked good. She looked like him. A little.

Making way her way to the kitchen she opened a bottle of red wine, musing about her not so unintentional outfit choice as the wine glugged into the glass. Perhaps it had nothing to do with him, the dark colours simply representing her mood. Black seemed fitting for the occasion, after all, she was about to bury her marriage six feet under.

Wine glass clutched in hand, she sat at the dark mahogany dinner table, at the head of the table. Dean was about to cross that front door and she was about to serve him the petition. Sadly she would have to wait at least six months until the divorce was finalized, probably more since she doubted that Dean would agree to her terms. The lawyer had advised as much, not even the judge would accept those terms;

 _'I want everything. Alimony. The house. The cars. His business... I want his goddamn pants if I can get them.'_

 _The lawyer stopped taking notes to look at her, 'What about the children Mrs Boland? Joint custody?'_

 _'No, I want full custody.'_

 _'Okay. Do you think your husband will accept the terms?' The woman asked._

 _'I doubt it."_

 _'If you can't reach an agreement the process will take longer, not only that but the terms are far out there, Mrs Boland. The judge will dismiss them.'_

 _'I don't care, just do your job. He manipulated me for 20 years… I want everything I have the right to and some more. And I want it ASAP.'_

 _'Alright, Mrs Boland. All do what I can.'_

 _'Do extra, that's what I am paying you for.' Beth retorted, 'And it's Marks. Elizabeth Marks.' It had been a minute since she last used her maiden name, it rolled hella good out of her tongue._

 _A sharky smile appeared on the lawyer's face, "Very well. I'll have a petition ready by the end of the day. We can have him served by early morning.'_

 _'Can I do it? Serve the papers?'_

 _The woman's smile broadened, 'It's unusual, but not a problem.'_

 _'Good. I want to do it.'_

And so the petition sat on a manila folder at the other end of the table. Beth took a sip of her wine. Looking back it was almost easy to see how sneakily Dean had been feeding her poisoned apples coated in shiny bright lies. It was humiliating how easily she'd taken the bait, how easily she had shaped to the form he wanted. Not that she was denying her own sins.

Beth had always strived for perfection. She was unsure when it started, this need to outshine herself. The early she could pinpoint was probably her childhood, right after Annie was born. In her little head, when her parents began to fight back to back it was because she was too loud at home, and always getting in trouble at school. Like when she broke Bobby Trucker's nose - _for a very good reason_ \- and both her parents were called to the principal office. They had screamed at each other so much that night, that she'd locked herself in her room and asked God to change her. Then she'd remembered that her mother always said that God didn't make things happen, people did. From that day on Beth believed she had to change in order to make other people happy.

It was something she quickly started to crave, the attention she got by pleasing others instead of pleasing herself. For always doing the "right" thing.

Hence six years of piano lessons when in reality she'd wanted to learn violin with all her heart.

Later in life Dean had been the ideal reliance for her delusions. To her need to be the super-mother and wife, the super-whatever-and-all. Her eagerness to please and be noticed, to be loved and perfect, had made her sacrifice her career, her body, her own will and a chunk of her soul.

But she was done with all that, being nice had taken her nowhere, in fact, had almost destroyed her.

In that hospital corridor, as she tallied all the things she'd lost on Dean, resuming her life to a mess of failed attempts and irrevocable errors, she'd deemed she had nothing left of herself.

It took seeing Rio like that, looking at the camera with that stern copious manner of his, as if being arrested was just a mere inconvenience, to realize she had just enough.

She had to quickly put aside the guilt feeling that started to swell in her chest. Rio had given her the opportunity to redeem herself more than once, showed her that she was capable of much more than her life resumed her to, simply by treating her like his equal. But she couldn't give herself the luxury to be guilty. It had been him or Emma. And that was not a choice.

At least that's was the version of the facts she'd sold to Annie and Ruby, the truth was uglier than that.

The truth was that she'd seasoned the whole thing with a thick rub of retribution before putting it in the oven for the FBI.

She'd wanted to hurt him just as bad as he had hurt her. She had wanted for him to taste his own venom, that she didn't need him either, show him that she wasn't a disposable pawn in his stupid chessboard, that she could fit into the crown, be a Queen, if she wanted to.

The question was did she want to?

All this time she had been doing this to either save her family or her own skin, to clean a mess after the other, it was like being sucked into quicksand, the more she did the more she was pulled under. But damn her if she hadn't felt cozy while she was there. 

Finally, the front door opens, leaving her without a solid answer. Dean walked in looking perfectly fine, just his clothes a bit dishevelled, she hadn't fretted with taking a change back to the hospital, too busy communing her divorce demands.

He spotted her at the table and made a beeline towards her, there was a slight limp on his left leg. "What the hell Beth? I've been waiting for you for hours! Why didn't you pick me up? I had no wallet nor phone, the nurse said she gave my things to you! What the hell is going on?"

Beth smiled over her wine glass, "You made it home, didn't you? Why don't you sit down?" She added pointing to the chair in front of hers.

"Did something happen? Why didn't you come to pick me up? You didn't even come to see me!"

Beth hummed, "Yeah, something happened." She paused as his eyebrows raised in expectation, "We missed our dinner reservation."

His features softened as he smiled at her, "Yeah, we did. Twenty years, uh? It's a big date, isn't it? I had a surprise for you, but I guess it went to waste in the accident..."

Beth snickered, "That's okay. I got you a little something too." She nudged her wine glass towards the envelope, "Open up."

His smile beamed as he unfurled the string securing the envelope, he pulled the paper out, "What is it…" His head shot up as he read the big bold letters, Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. His jaws ticked, "What is the meaning of this, Beth?"

"Happy anniversary, honey! You've been served! That's what's up." His face was priceless. It would have given her great pleasure if she wasn't so hurt.

Beth took a large sip from the wine as her smiled died, "How long were you planning the lie to go on for? I mean... I am so stupid and naive, you could probably keep going forever, right?"

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" His voice flattening to a mumble towards the end, he glanced upstairs.

"Oh! Don't worry, they are at your mother's. I figured we should have this conversation alone." She smiled viciously, "I'm sure the kids will be exhilarated with your miraculous recovery!"

There was a half a second of surprise, but he quickly recovered. "What?" He tittered nervously.

"For the love of God! Don't even!" Beth spat between gritted teeth, "You sat next to me and told their little sad faces that you were sick, very sick! How could you?"

Dean livid gaze cut throughout the tense silence, his nostrils flared and his chest puffed, "What's wrong with you? You're acting completely crazy! It was our anniversary, I was coming home to surprise you with flowers and all, and you don't even bother to visit me after the accident? Now, this? Divorce? Do you know how much it cost me to forgive you? To put all the shit that's been happening between us behind me? I know I messed up big time, but I haven't done anything but try and redeem myself while you were screwing that bounce house guy! Bringing dirty money home! Placing our family in danger!"

Dean was heaving after his fervent elevator pitch, looking confused when she sprang into hysterical giggling. Her cheeks hurt, a stitch started to develop in her side, stinging like a bitch. Still, she couldn't stop. It took a while until she calmed down enough to talk, and Dean looking at her in utter bewilderment didn't help the situation.

"You have some nerve! Trying to pass as victim after all you've done to me? Seriously?" Beth said, still trying to suppress the last of her laugh, "My dirty money saved us! Because instead of looking out for our family's interests you were too busy suffocating in the breasts of your secretary, meanwhile, your free time was spent sticking your dick in whatever you could!" Dean's mouth hanged a bit, "Yeah... I know all about your lot of extracurricular activities!"

Beth took another sip of wine before chuckling brittlely, "Hmm, yeah, you should change your phone password if you're planning on being a serial cheater… I mean, you use 2fast2furious for everything. Or you also placed me beyond checking your phone? 'Cause that's how you see me, right? An idiot you can easily delude and manipulate?"

Dean's head dropped, in shame probably. _Good._ "Was it since the beginning? Did it start when we were dating? After we got married? After we had Kenny? Danny? Do you even remember?"

At first, Beth thought the sounds coming from him were sniffles, but when his head shot up fear gripped at her soul. His shoulders shook as his laugh thundered through the room, it was Beth's turn to look bewildered.

"Oh, Thank God!" He laughed harder, drying the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand, "You know, it was fun at the beginning, but it gets very tiring after a while! God! But it took you long enough, didn't it?"

She clutched at the small paring knife in her pocket. She'd wisely or by instinct grabbed it on the way out of the kitchen. Dean shot up from his chair, the wooden legs raked muffled on the thick rug, the sound raising the hairs at her nape. _Where had this consuming fear come all of a sudden? She'd just put a violent criminal behind bars, for fuck's sake!_

He made his way to the drinks cabinet, laughing when he scooted close to her chair and she jumped on her seat. The knife... already drawn and the flat of the blade pressed against her thigh.

"You are gonna get your things and leave this house immediately, accept my divorce terms and I'll think about you seeing the kids more than once a month," Beth said to his back, he chuckled and poured himself a hefty dose of whiskey.

"Hmmm." He hummed after drinking the whole thing in one large swig, jaws clenched as the amber liquid burned down his throat, "Did you pack my bags?"

"No! You have two perfectly capable hands, do it yourself!" She retributed only to be met with another disconcerting laugh.

"You know what your problem is?" He asked, sucking on his teeth, the sound never failed to raise her pulse to a horrifying frenzy, "You never think things all the way through."

Beth shot up from her chair as he strode towards her. The thud it made as it fell backwards was as shallow as the beating of her heart, "Stay away from me!" She snarled pointing the knife in his direction.

Dean stopped, lifting his arms in surrender but the smile over his lips made her chill to the bones, "What are gonna do with that? Tickle my skin?"

He took another step and Beth bounded backwards, her hand shaking. "Stop! I'm warning you!"

"Or what, Beth? What is that stupid airhead of yours going to do, uh?"

He leapt for her. His hands seized over her grip on the knife, she struggled with him, but she didn't have his strength, and he knew it, he was enjoying it, the crazed gleam in his eyes proof enough, and when he got tired of their little back-and-forth he quickly twisted her wrist backwards.

Beth screamed in agony, dropping the knife.

Then his open palm met her face so fucking hard that her head almost swivelled, the metallic taste of blood immediately flooded her mouth.

Dizzy, she staggered, tripping on the legs of the turned chair, there was no time to anything but fall, the hard side-landing took her breath away.

She didn't have a second to recover, a hand fisted her hair, hauling her up into the chokehold of his arm. Her nails dug into the exposed skin of his forearm, nasty alcoholic breath tickled the skin of her temple, making her sick to her stomach.

"Didn't we talk about this? Didn't I warn you that if you ever mentioned divorce again, I would kill you?" She whimpered as he pressured hard over her neck, his growing erection driving into her backside.

"I prefer to be dead than ever let you touch me again." She hissed, clawing her nails deeper, feeling his skin break, he didn't let go, nope, he squeezed harder.

"Oh honey, but you will!" He laughed, "And I won't even have to force you, you gonna open those pretty legs for me on your own volition."

"Like hell, I will!" She snarled, right as she stomped her stiletto heel into his foot.

It worked, she was freed as he growled in pain. She didn't waste a second, darting to the front door. Her head was hauled back, by the hair, tears sprouted in the back of her eyes. He shoved her into the sofa, her already hurt wrist mitigating most of her nosedive.

"Sit!" He growled, grabbing his foot, "Fucking bitch!"

"You're a sickening prick! I hate you!" She muttered, pulling herself together.

"Oh, don't worry! I love you enough for both of us." His hand flew to her neck, circling it snugly, barely hurting as he pressed his lips to hers. Beth's fingers aimed for his face, but he caught them before she could gouge out his eyes. She fought back, straining against him, but it was futile, he was stronger, faster, and she was helpless all over again. The thought scratched a desperate sob from the debts of her throat. The manhandling ceased when she stopped fighting. The caress of his fingers over her cheek was even worse than the kiss.

"Now that you're done with your little rebellion, can I talk?" He asked all sweet, but the wicked burning on his gaze didn't fool her.

She was about to send him somewhere where the sun didn't shine when he forced her jaws shut with one large hand, his fingers pinching into the soft skin of her face, painfully.

"I think you should hear me out before you say something you might regret. You see, everything you are, everything you have… is because of me, because I gave it to you!" He said slowly, each word drenched with anger, "And I can take it away just as easily."

Beth dodged the hand that came to scoot a lock of golden hair away from her eyes, the hand around her face double efforts in pressure, her lip curled as she tried to control herself. They both knew the only thing of value she had was her children.

"Now, this is what's gonna happen." He smiled, "As of this moment you're done with your sad middle-age crisis! We are going back to our normal lives and we gonna forget the last months ever happened. You're going back to your PTA, the playdates and your crafting shit, because let's be honest, that's all you have the talent for." Beth swallowed dry, her chest was heaving not with fear but a mix of fury, hurt and shame, "You're going to keep that pretty mouth shut and be the good little wifey you always been."

"Or what?" Beth hissed through her clenched jaws.

Dean smiled, in a way that she'd never seen, not even when he'd been at his worst. A wave of despair, clung, slick against her skin. "Or I'm going to have to have a conversation with that FBI guy... what's his name? Turner? Tell him all about what you, your bitch friend and sister been doing during your book club tea time."

A pang hit her stomach, but she forced herself to swallow it, forced herself to push a tight smile out of her lips, "You wouldn't… you'd be going down too. I think it's called an accessory. You don't have proof of anything either!"

"Oh, Bethie!" He sniggered, "All this newfound spunk of yours has me hard as a rock! But be my guest, try me, and see what happens…" He let go of her, by shoving her head brutally against the couch headrest, "Can you imagine, you and me, gone? Do you think my mother can handle the four of them? What about your sister? Do you think they would even let her see her kid? I mean, laundering money on top of a drug bust, doesn't that look pretty on paper! And Stan?" He laughed groggily, "Oh my god! Can you imagine his righteous face when he finds out what Ruby's lil' side hustle is?"

He awaited for her reaction, triumphant, as she laid paralyzed by the honed words. He knew exactly where to strike, both physically and emotionally.

 _What was she thinking? Come here and wait for him with nothing but her wits and a stupid paper? When was she gonna learn?_

Her brain fought to find a solution, anything to make this stop, anything to halt the oppressive weight from crushing her chest. But he knew as well as she did that there was nothing.

"Don't do this… I won't… I can't… please!" She whispered the words. She should have kept her mouth shut. The satisfaction in his eye sickened her.

"Oh, Beth! But I'm not doing anything!" His knuckles caressed her cheek all the way down her breast, his finger lingered for a nauseous moment over the first button of her blazer, "You did this. This one is on you."

The button opened with what she assumed was a small snap, but in her head, it echoed as loud as church bells. A snivel shook its way out of her constricted throat. Her nails clawing her palm as she begged again, "Please…"

The fulfilment gleam on his eyes told her that he knew exactly what this was going to do to her. That this was what he wanted. Break her. And Beth was afraid she'd given him the tools to do it.

As he peeled away every piece of her clothing it felt like she was being stripped of her very own skin. He pushed her back on the sofa and waited patiently as she forced her thighs open for him, it obliterated every ounce of respect she'd built for herself. The victory glint as his icy blue gaze wavered over her naked body made her scream inside, the tears she'd been keeping at bay, threatened to shimmer over her lower eyelids. She refused to let him see her cry. But one treacherous clear line painted down her cheek.

"I know, I know..." He shushed her, cleaning the lonely tear with his thumb, "I love you too! We will be a family again, all of us, just like we are supposed to." He whispered, checking her out with two fingers. She winced, in pain, in shame... revulsion. None of it would stop him.

The first thrust took her dignity. But what was the price of her dignity, compared with the possibility of never seeing her children again?

The second took her will. She just stared vacantly at the shadow the side table lamp formed in the ceiling, and just let him do it.

But it was the third that took everything. Her jaws fused tightly together, her throat closed, her heartbeat slowed. A strange resignation enveloped her, but she wasn't as numb as she'd hoped for.

Previously denuded of her armour, with her walls conquered and her barriers plundered, she felt everything deeper than flesh and bone. Something happened— a split perhaps, but she couldn't figure what had broken just yet.

She stopped counting after that.

* * *

Rio held the DPD 27th precinct door open for Gretchen as they left the building. Him, impoverished of 180G's in bail fees. She, on the other hand, 20K richer. She curled her arm around his as they made the steps down.

"They let Carlos go early this morning. No charges. They are checking the books. You're shutdown. Literally."

"Do you have a name yet?" Rio asked on the last step.

"Not yet, that Turner is keeping it tight and sealed. But it might interest you that the three women that robbed Fine & Frugal the first time were on the witness list at F&F the second." Gretchen turned to him, those eyes slanted, sharp as blades. "One of which Agent Turner has marked down as a past lover of yours. Elizabeth Boland?"

Rio sighed has she handled him the bag with his things, he opened it to get his wallet, the golden Desert Eagle gleamed with the touch of a ray of light. "I'll take care of her. Just find out if she is the witness or not."

"I don't like this, Rio. It's personal. I don't question your end of the business, but you're putting mine in jeopardy here. You're paying me to win, that's something I can't do without the facts."

Sometimes he hated that his lawyer did her job so good. The last thing he wanted was to enter in a wrangle over Elizabeth. He wasn't in the mood, but he also knew that Gretchen was as stubborn as they came.

"Please don't offend my intelligence. I know you're curious about this woman, and yes, she is very likely responsible for this headache, but as I said before, I'll handle that myself. The FBI has already beaten around this bush many times, Z, and you've always made them wrap their own noose and hang it over their necks. This guy, Turner... he's a greedy mofo, who baths in super-hero complex every morning. Your favourite kind of snack."

"Oh, sweety! I've been all over that since he first started sniffing in your business. I'll have the name soon enough." She smiled smugly, but by the way Gretchen squared her shoulders, Rio knew she wasn't about to let it go, "If it makes you more comfortable, I don't think she is the witness. She robbed the grocery store and left the receipts for Turner. Those are not the actions of a person who is willing to talk or cut a deal."

Rio had figured as much. Think about her was all he did in that cell for the past 48 hours. Mostly of his hands curled tight around that elegant neck of hers, squeezing.

"I still need to talk to her, I need to know if there was something else. I still don't know how they connected you to the other small businesses." Gretchen said with a frown.

"I'd prefer to have that conversation with her myself." He said sharply.

"One more reason for me to do the talking! I don't know why but this woman messes with your head. For some reason, she is still alive, even when she got you arrested! I know you've taxed for less. And in my humble opinion, all of those are admirable feats. So, you wanna tell me what the hell is going on or—"

Rio sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. One of his many sins was pride. He wasn't willing to talk details over the worst error of judgment he'd made in his life. Admit that that woman had made a clod out of him was a hard pill to swallow.

But he knew how to take a defeat. He also knew how to rise and seize an advantage. A crucial step if he wanted to avoid a fail where it came to his daughter.

"Tell me somethin'. How should I proceed legally, if I'd just found out I had a child and I wanted the custody?"

Gretchen looked surprised for a second, "I'm not an expert in family law but it depends on many factors. The child's age, the kind of environment it's living in… Was the mother married when the child was conceived?" Rio nodded in confirmation, "Well, under Michigan law, the husband is the legal parent of every child born or conceived during the marriage. The biological father has no parental rights or responsibilities for said child. Unless the legal parent wants to revoke the paternity, it's nearly impossible for the biological father to obtain the custody."

Rio kicked a loose stone on the pavement, "So, I can't do anythin' basically?"

"Long shot, if you can prove the parents are unfit or the child is being abused. Holy shit! You have a kid with that woman?"

Before Rio could answer, Turner's voice came from the door. "It's not over yet."

Rio just rolled his eyes, tired of hearing him for the last two days, "Later, Z."

"I'll still need to talk to her," Gretchen said to his back.

"She gets sleazy when backed against a wall. Let me deal with it." Rio said over his shoulder. _Oh, he had all the intentions of backing her against the wall, all of them walls._

Turner not satisfied with being ignored made his way to them. "This is just the beginning, D'Aquila. You can't run and you can't hide either."

"Does it look like I'm hiding, Turner? I would have come in have you asked nicely!" Rio tsked, "And the only place I'm running to is my shower, take this Fed stench outta me." Rio tapped two fingers to his temple in salute and strolled away. "See you real soon, yeah?"

Gretchen, couldn't but notice that Jimmy Turner couldn't control the thick of his jaws. "Your client is guilty Ms Zorada. There won't always be a gap for him to squirm through. The D.A. and I are working closely together, we have plenty on what to build this case. "

Gretchen smiled as sweetly as a wolf in lambskin, "Innocent until proven guilty. The law you serve is the same I follow, Agent Turner. Can't wait to see what you have!"

She flipped her channel shades and waved goodbye. The Fed really had a hard-on for Rio, uh? But it was like Rio said he was too eager. His precocious minute-man act might have cost him the whole case, and he knew it.

* * *

"I did something."

Ruby straight panicked at her words, saying it was PTSD level, that the tree house had completely messed her up, while Annie did her best to remain calm but didn't look too satisfied either.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" Beth urged.

Both women sat up straight with worried sighs and waited for her to continue.

"So, I'm on the freeway this morning, and instead of taking the Gratiot exit, I just keep driving. And I go all the way to the border." Their faces were priceless, especially when she said the next bit, "And then I go all the way to that craft store."

"You did a pop-by on Big Mike?" Annie glowered.

"Oh, my God. How's his foot?"

"What did he say?" Annie pressed.

"Well, I go straight up to him. He's up on this, like, forklift thing. And I say, _Listen, just because Rio's out of the picture doesn't mean that we have to be._ And he gets down, and he reaches into his pocket and he pushes a big fat gun to my forehead. And he says, _I don't wanna deal with new players in Detroit._ And I said, _Bitch, we are Detroit."_

Annie's and Ruby's mouth hanged a bit and Beth struggled to keep her face straight.

"Bitch, he could have shot you!" Ruby whispered.

"Yeah, well, he really didn't like what came next. So, I gave him a choice. I said, _You're either with us or you're on your own. So, what's it gonna be, Big Michael?"_

 _Big Michael._ Both of them repeated at the same time looking at her like she'd transformed in someone else, a mixture of amazement and fear. It made Beth's dead pulse tick for a second.

"And he just looks at me for the longest time. And I'm like, All right, here it is. At least I'll go in a blaze of glory! And then… he shook my hand. And he loaded up the car. You guys, I have six huge boxes of wrapping paper in that car!"

Annie scoffed in amazement, Ruby was completely baffled.

Of course, it was a lie, she'd taken the Gratiot exit, the Canadian border never so far away. But it was how she'd imagined the encounter to have unfolded in her mind, when she'd wondered how the crown would have felt in her head.

That was before Dean had crushed the last of her, kicking her when she was already down, demanding her to give away the only other thing she valued in her life. Her girls' friendship;

 _'Where are you going in such a hurry? No cuddles?' Dean asked from the couch, while she picked up her pants from the floor._

 _She pressed the bundle of clothes against her body, her chest oppressed with all the things she wanted to shout at his disgusting face. But that was what he wanted, his gelid blue eyes taunted her, the conceived smile of his victory made a hole of shame in her soul. She turned away before she could say something she would regret the consequences of. Before it was too late and she gave him the satisfaction of breaking down in front of him._

 _He'd followed her into the bathroom, she'd almost closed the door, but he'd stuck his foot in just in time. Defeated, Beth put on her bathrobe and leaned on the vanity with a sigh._

 _Dean stood behind her, his eyes met hers in the mirror, 'What?' She asked tiredly._

 _'I asked where are you going.'_

 _Beth sighed, 'I have a thing with the girls.'_

 _'Oh, have you now?' His smirk had made her sick, she just wanted to be alone, to wash him out of her body. 'Hmmm... Okay, you can go this time.'_

 _Beth could have almost laughed if the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach hadn't felt like an omen._

 _'I can go?' She asked raising her eyebrows, 'Do I need to get your permission now?'_

 _Then he leaned over her shoulder, his torso glued to her back, tainting the bittersweet memories she'd compulsively hoarded from an elusive night._

 _'_ _No, you don't need the permission.'_ _He said, pressing himself against her back, 'The girls night are over from now on. There are no more binge nights on my couch, no more rosé emptied in my glasses or Bugles crumbs for me to step on in the morning. Over. Done.'_

 _It almost happened, she almost crumbled. It took everything to hold herself together. She wondered if she'd pissed someone really important in another life. 'Cause for the life of her she had no idea what she'd done in this one to deserve any of this._

 _'I'm sick of Ruby sticking her nose around, showing up at all times like she owns the place. And your fucking annoying sister— she's not 17 anymore, she can solve her own goddamn problems without you. Get rid of them.'_

 _Beth clenched her teeth, 'They are my family—'_

 _He shook his head, brushing away the few strands of hair that covered her neck, 'Me and the kids are the only family that matters. You're gonna cut it… by the root.'_

 _The "or else" was left unpronounced, he didn't need to say it was right there in his eye. Then she scrammed away from his touch, opening the door, 'Do you mind? I need to use the toilet— unless you wanna control that too.'_

 _He laughed, 'Careful, Beth. You don't want to piss me off right as we made up._ _You know, I was thinking—' He added nodding towards her contraceptive pill on the marble countertop. 'We should have another baby.'_

 _Her chest tightened with the aimed jab. 'Nope, I don't think so.'_

 _He grabbed the box and threw it in the trash bin, stopping in front of her with a sickening grin, 'You'll get used to the idea.'_

The first thing she did after closing the door on his face was recovering the pills from the bin. Like hell was she getting pregnant. She took every single little pill and threw the box back in the trash, then hid them in a container at the back of the vanity drawer. The other container there burned her hand as she accidentally touched it.

She'd let herself fall on the toilet lid, she sat there for what seemed hours before she'd finally cracked.

Even after she'd scrub herself under the shower till her skin was raw, Dean's smell still clung on her, toxic to her mind. His seed, still hot inside her, contaminating her linings.

It was like she was still on that sofa, the weight of him like an anchor, sinking and drowning her in a sea of despair.

That time Dean hadn't just taken her body. He hadn't just wound her flesh. That time was different, that time she felt something else shatter, her spirit.

For the second time in her whole life, Beth had wished she was as dead as she felt.

Even as she'd said it out loud, enumerating all the reasons she had to keep herself afloat: _Kenny, Danny, Jane, Emma. Annie, Sadie. Ruby, Sara, Harry._

All the goods reason in the world hadn't deterred her from opening the vanity drawer and fishing out the stash of Oxy. The one she'd promised herself not to touch ever again.

She had remembered how disgusted she'd felt with herself when she'd wished to go on her knees and lick the fine powder the Mayor's wife had laid to waste in that restaurant restroom.

It still hadn't stopped her from popping the lid open nor from crushing one of the yellows rounds on the marble countertop.

 _Just once._

That's what she told herself right before she'd done the line, then the almost instant relief came and it hadn't matter anymore.

"Wait, you what?" Annie frowned.

"You can't be serious!" Ruby almost screamed.

Beth started to giggle until it was an uncontrollable bout of laugh. Her cheeks started to hurt along with the twinge to her heart. Maybe it was the second line she did right after she parked outside the diner, maybe it was funny because this was going exactly as she predicted.

"Who are you right now?" Ruby wheezed out of her pursed lips, not even bothered that people were looking as her voice gradually raised, "You know what Beth, not all of us here don't give a rat's ass about the consequences of our actions! And you might sleep well at night next to your husband but I don't! We were done with it! Done! Putting him in was the last of it! And now you do this?"

"I didn't hear you complain when _this_ got Sara her kidney." Beth riposted, the immediate hurt in Ruby's face was another nail in her coffin. The grave was already dug anyways.

"You're right! And that's the big difference between us. I'm doing this for my family, but you? I'm not so sure anymore! 'Cause right now it sounds like you very much want to sit on the gangster's throne!" She shot up from the padded couch, "Don't count me in for this shit!"

Beth took a sip from her mug, feeling Annie's glare on her. "What?"

Annie's face flared in open incredulity, "Is it true? You wanna take Rio's spot?"

Beth just shrugged. It wasn't NOT true.

"I don't know what's going on with you lately, but I wish you trusted me enough to let me know."

Beth scoffed, "Please, you can't handle your own shit, what makes you think you can handle mine?"

"Wow! You're on a roll today, aren't you?" She said following Ruby's example and strolling to the doors, "Call me when you're finished chewing the lemons."

"Maybe I'll when you stop waiting for me to solve your problems!" Beth spat to her back.

"You know what—" Annie stopped with her hand on the handle, "You're alone on this one! Good luck!"

Beth made sure to finish her coffee before she left, she wasn't in a hurry. She sat in her car for a while, then she blasted the van's radio to max on some mildly depressing, half dreaming thing and drove, she just drove.

Making time before having to face her reality from now on, because time seemed to be all she had right now.

It was way past 11 pm when she finally parked in the driveway. She had no idea where she was or where she had been until she stopped on the stop sign that gave way to the cul-de-sac. But calling it parking was an understatement, Danny had left his bike laying outside, she'd just hit the fucking bumper.

Beth sighed, turning off the engine, she grabbed her purse and got out, squatting in front of the car to assess the damage. The handlebar had made a huge dent, she pulled it away but the wheel was stuck under the bumper. She tugged once, twice and a third time with a grunt of anger. It worked, it got unstuck. It also popped the damn thing from the clips and got her ass landed on the hard pavement. She sat there for a moment cursing to her insides, until her purse started to vibrate. She dug her phone out.

Two missing calls from Annie. Seven from Ruby. All the voice mails were increasingly frantic. Annie's pleading for her to pick up. By Ruby's fourth Beth finally learned why.

Rio had made bail.

The rest she didn't need to hear from them, she knew.

The devil himself was coming for her.


	15. Sinking

When Rio wasn't waiting for her inside the house that night, she felt relieved. As each hour passed by and he didn't show up led her into an unremitting queasiness. As the hours mutated into days and the days into weeks, the agonizing wait gave way to desperation, she started to itch for it as much as the little yellow pills she couldn't function without any longer.

Soon, she mounted to paranoia. Everywhere she went it felt like she was being observed, but when she looked over her shoulder— no one there. Every dark figure on the grocery aisle would make her halt, but when it turned— never him.

Every black car she spotted would make her heart race, she would stare at tinted windows, the image they reflected she wouldn't even recognize anymore, chapped lips and purple eye bags on a stranger's face, while she hoped for them to roll down and a spray of bullets to steer her away from misery.

By the two week mark, she'd stopped hoping. This way his way of torture her, she wasn't even worthy of a little mercy.

That's when she started to pick fights with Dean. At first, she didn't even notice she was doing it on purpose, but Dean, on the contrary, would keep his cool, offering her little presumptuous simpers and promptly ignoring her as if knew exactly what she was after and held it from her on purpose. It was his little guilty pleasure to torment her in the most unexpected ways. Take what she had for granted.

But Beth was persistent. She'd finally gotten her therapy when she'd invited an unsuspecting Linda Lee for a playdate - the sleazoid widow who her husband was fucking while Beth offered her consolating back rubs at soccer games. She'd made her stay for dinner, Dean arrived when the kids had already finished and were watching a movie over bowls of ice cream, leaving the adults to dine alone. Beth had placed a tuna casserole in front of tight-faced Dean and smiled at an equally uncomfortable Linda before landing her punchline — _Do you usually eat my food before or after you fuck him?_

Dinner ended fairly quickly after that, Linda round-up hers and left. Dean urged the kids to bed early and Beth... she awaited.

She was now nurturing a six-day-old black eye. A small-scale instalment for her defiance. She'd expected more, but she'd also learned that she could still make him tick, his patience was failing him short after her stunt, their fights had been picking up on intensity for the last days.

The _real_ pain also made her Oxy dosage increase less questionable, she'd earned it.

A tightly rolled 20 was skilfully rushed over the thin line of finely crushed powder — acquired finesse by praxis, no doubt — Then she popped a pill into her mouth and swept it down with a swig of bourbon. Breakfast.

She quickly had come to realize it only took a few minutes for it to take effect when she snorted it, it hit helluva hard but it also mellowed way quicker. So she did it as quickstart before the pills started to work, or as a bump when she felt like it. Feeling no guilt whatsoever, Beth closed the orange meds bottle with Dean's name printed on it; the perks of having fake cancer included an unlimited supply of Oxycontin. Go figure.

Closing her eyes, she waited for the familiar heat to rise through her skin while pondering if she should cover the fading bruising or just wear it as a war medal. Maybe that would tip the scales a little bit when Dean arrived home, he hadn't slept in, and Beth knew because her own sleep remained elusive for a few days now.

"Mom?"

Kenny's small voice made her jump, his slim frame teetered in the doorway. Beth quickly hid the booze and the small tray she used for her snorting purposes inside the first tallboy drawer and drew the bathrobe closer to her neck.

"Goddammit, Kenny!" She snapped at him, "How many times do I have to tell you to knock before you come in, uh?"

The little hurtful furrow of his eyebrows made her heart twinge, his voice barely audible, "The door was open."

Beth felt the worst person in the world as she stared into those blue eyes, a reprint of her own. "I'm sorry, baby. Mommy isn't feeling too well."

Her excuse seemed lame and empty even to her ears. He lowered his head, eyes on a mark on the wooden floor, he scratched it with his bare big toe. "Is it your eye?"

Beth snapped her gaze from his too-long toenail, sudden guilt corroded at her. She had been so adamant into pissing off Dean that she'd forgotten the effect it could have on her children. Her children— the one thing she'd never neglected before. Ever.

"Do you want me to get some ice?" He asked a bit more confident.

Beth felt like she was choking, like she'd swallowed one of Dean's fists all of a sudden. "No, baby. That's nothing, an accident. I'm okay— I could really use a hug tho." She tried to smile, a real smile, it almost hurt, it felt like she hadn't used her facial muscles in decades.

Kenny didn't notice, his whole little face shone with his dad's goofy smile as he wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.

"I love you. Never forget that, okay, baby?" She whispered into his dark-brown hair, kissing the top of his head, "Mommy loves you so, so much."

It felt like she was stating it more to herself than him. The thought shocked her.

"I love you too, mom." He replied automatically, head resting over her chest oppressively.

"Pancakes for breakfast?" She said trying to shake the uneasiness with something they all loved.

"Blueberry?" He asked hopefully.

Beth's stomach flipped like it was a pancake itself, the smile plastered rigid over her lips, "Choc-chip, I forgot to buy blueberries."

The truth was she hadn't been able to buy them, they reminded her of _him._ It was pure pietism, particularly when her own daughter — whom she couldn't avoid like the blueberries — was a walking billboard publicizing _him._

"Mom? You— hmm, you have something white on your nose." He said pointing to his own nose.

"Oh!" She quickly rubbed it off, "It's makeup powder. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you go grab the ingredients and set the table while I get ready, uh?"

Once he was gone, Beth slumped into bed and promised to herself she would swift her focus into her children and nothing else.

She was on the second batch of bunny shaped pancakes when Annie stormed through the backdoor.

"Wow, you look like sh— Hey, kids!" She flattered when she saw them lined up at the butcher block, she turned to back to Beth, "You look... terrible."

"Thanks. That's what I was aiming for." Beth returned, glad she'd opted to cover her bruise after all. Terrible would have to do.

Annie scoffed as she flipped the pancakes. It was the first time they had laid eyes on each other since the diner, things were still tense since the incident, especially with Ruby. Her sister suffered from onset short-term memory, fortunately, or unfortunately, came the _devil_ to pick and choose.

Beth frowned, her face twisted in pain. She sighed tiredly. Even a word, used so ordinarily, could make the hole replacing her heart throb painfuly. Even mellowed by the drugs, it hurt.

"You okay?" Annie asked stealing a pancake from the kids' stash.

Beth swatted her hand with the spatula and gave her the stank eye, "Those are for the kids."

Annie strolled to the door, not before making a childish face towards Beth, pulling at one eye and sticking her tongue out to the kids' absolute delight. Even Beth managed to hawk a mildly-rueful chuckle from the pit where anything resembling a happy thought lived.

"Ruby and I gonna have brunch later, you wanna come or?" Annie asked smoothly as if it wasn't a big deal, already halfway out the door.

Beth shrugged, "I'll think about it."

Annie crinkled her nose but didn't push it, waving Beth and the kids goodbye.

Beth didn't go. And that sad chuckle brought by her sister's shenanigans was the last one she performed sincerely.

Oh, she would smile, it was all she did, smile until her cheeks hurt and her dry lips cracked.

Emma's pre-school bake sale never been more successful.

Jane won the first prize at science fair with the project Beth improved until 4 in the morning.

Danny was the hero at soccer games when he showed up at the finals with the massive banner Beth had crafted.

Kenny would always say he didn't need anything. Sometimes Beth caught him looking at her with a frown, she would just smile wider and pack an extra treat in his lunch box as reimbursement.

Her children never been happier with their mom quadrupling herself in efforts.

The happier they were the more miserable she felt.

* * *

When Rio knocked on the Boland's residence front door, he had confirmation of two things: a) Dean Boland knew who he was, Emma's father and, b) Besides the manipulator vulture Rio already known him to be, Dean Boland was nothing but a self-important cretin whose ego was way too inflated for such a small mind.

The typical alpha male, he squared his shoulders, chest puffing as he crowed like a rooster. "What are you doing here, uh? How did your fucking small-time hoodlum ass get out of jail?"

Rio just smiled, his answer proportionally provocative. "Oh, Deansy! Is this how you greet a guest?" He tsked, "I'm disappointed! Your wifey, _our dearest Elizabeth,_ always welcomes me with such a _warm_ and _open… heart."_

It was definitely a low blow, but it had the desired effect. He was looking for it, the physical battle he knew he wouldn't be able to have with her. The four weeks wait had done nothing but brew his anger into a thick mixture he was having a hard time to digest.

He needed to cool down before he could confront the woman who had the audacity to try and tumble him, the woman who he knew — with absolute certainty — was far more dangerous than the stupid man who stared at him with pure hatred.

Rio saw it in his eyes before he made the move, he was used to reading his opponent's body language, and Dean was an open book acting based on emotions. It was too easy to dodge the first punch, Rio immediately lurched for him, tackling his midriff. Dean's back crashed against the timber loveseat. The backrest banged the foyer's plaster wall, the artwork hanging there came down, crashing into the hardwood floors with a shatter of glass.

Rio was surprised by Dean's quick reflex when the metal bucket holding a mismatch of umbrellas arched directly into his face. He lifted his arm, shielding his temple just in time, the aluminium caved, cold, around his arm.

It was enough of a distraction, he wasn't quick enough to dodge the next fist. It hit him right in the corner of the mouth, the bottom lip bursting open. Rio licked his lip, tasting the fresh blood. The sharp and metallic flavour promoted his own savage need to spill blood, car-man's blood.

The half-smile stretched the cut making more blood spurt as he cocked his head to the side, "Ain't you full of surprises."

Dean's heavy heaving halted the second that Rio hauled him by the collar of his shirt and bounded for his head. It was full on, the sonance of cartilage snapping very particular and one he was used to. Under his nails, he could feel the flesh he'd scraped off car-man's chest. Rio shoved him against the narrow console table, the knick-knacks on top toppled to their feet with the impact.

"You have no idea of what she really is, do you?" Dean wheezed, his voice nasal as he scrapped to his feet holding his bleeding nose, laughing. "You think you're the first idiot to show up here asking questions after she'd left 'em? What was her pitch this time? The abusive husband? The unrequited and emotionally barren wife? The financial troubles?"

Rio halted his stride at the words, his jaws ticking as he hoisted him up by the collar.

Dean braved a presumptuous eat-shit grin, "You've been swindled, and you've enjoyed every single minute of it like a fool."

"Shut that filthy mouth," Rio growled, a fist balled to his side in anger, he swung it into his face. Dean staggered backwards into the kitchen. Rio shoved him again, Dean tripped on his feet, but managed to grab one of the breakfast stools for balance.

"Oh, the truth hurts doesn't it?" Dean said, still smiling. Rio had an emerging urge to beat the shit out of it and make his smile toothless.

Dean was expecting his tackle this time, elbowing his spine as they both dived into the butcher block. Rio recovered first, aligning another punch to his eye socket. Dean raised his arms protecting his face — not very successfully — against multiple combos of his fists. Dean wasn't as fast but he had more mass than Rio, managing to eventually overpower him by bracing his ribs and slamming him into the wall embed bookshelf.

"Lord, it's worse than I thought! You're in love with her!" Dean jeered smugly, blood still gushing from his nose, "And here I am thinking that you were smarter than the others."

Rio grunted and puffed as Dean closed fist met the sweet spot just under his ribs. Then some kind of ceramic - he didn't have time to acknowledge what it was exactly - crashed and shattered against his face, he staggered backwards hitting the bookshelf again. Before the cut in his cheek could even begin to sting, he felt for one of the heaviest books and threw it towards Dean.

The book's spine — a hardcover Barefoot Contessa cookbook — hit right on target. Dean's pea-brain head snapped back and then the rest of his body followed suit, landing with an ungiving thud over the wood floors.

"She's not what you think, you're not gonna have her, ever." Dean mumbled from his broken lips, hoicking coagulated blood from the depths of his throat and spitting it to the side as he strived himself up with a laboured grunt.

Rio didn't offer any mercy, he lunged for the man. They exchanged blows, a chain of hits and misses until Dean shouldered him against the backdoor crushing the metal blinds with his weight. Both men took a breather. Rio's was steady, his trained physique not even breaking a sweat, Dean's was heavy and worked, his face was starting to swollen unrecognizable.

Rio picked up the book from the floor and cocked his head to the side, smiling. "I think your the one who doesn't know her. Your adorable _Bethie_ isn't real."

Dean laughed bitterly, "She's a consummate actress. It's what she does best. She can be anything you want, whatever you need and puff you're in, falling deep and sinking." Dean's voice was laced with soreness as he kept going, "Only Kenny is mine, you know? Danny is the son of an oil tycoon, and boy if she bleeds him dry for it. Jane? I don't even know— some politician who pays her to keep her mouth shut and away from the media. But you? I didn't know why until I found out about the money laundering."

"Da fuck are you sain'?" Rio growled.

"She isn't getting younger, fucking men for leverage isn't gonna cut it for much longer. She has expensive habits, many of them— fancy shoes… drugs."

Rio's hands closed into tight fists over his legs as the words sunk in, "Bullshit."

"She saw you as nothing but the perfect last target... the kingdom already built she just had to sit on the throne. Her words as she narrated me all the details of how she was gonna lock you away for good." Dean declared, smiling viciously. "We fucked right on the couch then laughed at you, always sniffing around her with your lovesick puppy eyes— it was like tricking a child out of its candy."

Rio knew he was being an idiot by letting his emotions control him, but he couldn't help it. A tick started rocking his jaws.

"Don't bleed over it, it's what she does— she spins you around like a tornado, disappearing as hastily as she arose, the only sign she was there is the trail of broken bodies she left behind her."

"Yet, you're still here." He was sure the cookbook crushed under his hand, such was his grip as he hawked out the words.

Dean shrugged smugly, "In the end, she always comes back. It's me who she loves."

He lost it right there.

He stopped seeing, all was a red fog in his head.

He only felt the roar creeping up his throat, the swing of the book tiring his arms, and the contact of flesh and bone.

Once, twice… it didn't matter. He lost count.

He only stopped when his arms were too heavy to lift the book above his head again.

Ina Garten's cover picture smiled at him, painted red with Dean's blood.

He was straddling Dean's limp body. They had somehow ended in the dining room, leaving a trail of destruction in their path.

Rio dropped the book like it burned his skin. He placed a hand under Dean's broken nose, hot air tingled his palm.

Getting up he didn't know if he was satisfied the man was still alive or not. He made way to the drinks cabinet and grabbed the bourbon. His hand shook around the bottle's neck, his knuckles swollen and the skin broken. Taking a swig straight from the bottle, he closed his eyes as the cheap liquor burned down his parched throat.

He heard Dean gurgle and whimper. His words kept searing his brain, he didn't want to believe it. Her laugh mingled in between his words, her tears, her smile and her taste.

He had felt pain, hurt, but he never felt broken before. This woman was his kryptonite, his end.

He hated her.

Hated that he couldn't read her, that he couldn't know what she was thinking, what she wanted.

He hated that she could do this to him, leaving him doubting himself, still wanting to see past the truths right under his nose.

He helped Dean's broken body up and dragged him to a chair, his head flumped into the dining table. Rio yanked at the belt of one of the dining room curtains and quickly tied his hands to the backrest, not that he thought Deansy was moving anytime soon, he had made a number out of his face, still in and out of consciousness, but he had proven to be resourceful and Rio didn't need any surprises when he was dealing with Elizabeth.

If she thought he was done, she might be in for a surprising treat.

As if per cue her van parked on the driveway, Rio smiled wickedly grabbing Dean by the neck and slapping his face to wake him up, "T'was a great story car-man, now let's see what the main protagonist has to say about it."

He heard her heels hitting gently onto the hardwood as she walked in, the door clicked close and he spoke, "Hey, honey. We're home."

There was a fluctuation in her step, Rio saw her purse drop to the flood before he saw her, "Would have been here sooner, but I got tied up."

And then he saw her and it was a problem. Even as the sarcastic words left his mouth, "Surprise."

The problem was that she had turned him into a fool.

The problem was that he still felt intrigued by all her shapes and forms.

The problem was that she was still a blank canvas, one he'd painted with invisible ink.

The problem was he'd seen so many faces he didn't know who the true Elizabeth was.

The problem was those huge blue orbs that stared at him widened with fear, but not fear of him.

Dean lifted his head, his nape still under the pressure of his fingers, the man's voice even more nasal than before, "I'm sorry, Beth."

Her answer barely a whisper made his rage boil hotter.

 _"He didn't do anything."_

Her words confirmation of everything that car-man had said. And just the possibility affected him in startling ways.

"Oh, tried." Rio chuckled, pinching car-man's neck harder, "He tried... Got more fight in him than I thought." The backhand slap over the bruised cheek resonated through the room, Rio saw by the corner of his eye how Beth jumped to it, "Ain't that right, champ?"

The tears started to well in her eyes, and even when he didn't want, it affected him. He fought through it because he had to, he couldn't let her run over him, not again. "Oh, I'm sorry. Does this…" He laced car-man's neck into a solid chokehold, "Does this bother you?"

"Let him go."

"What? You can't even handle a little blood?" He shoved car-man away, his body would have fallen from the chair if he wasn't by the ties. He focused solely on her, "I thought you wanted to be me. I mean, that's what all this is, right? You tryna put me away. I know you must got big plans. Hubby here told me all about it. But, see, you didn't think things all the way through."

Her eyes flashed with anger for a second but the tears betrayed her fear, lingering above it all in those expressive blue eyes of hers. Rio leaned over the table, "It takes balls to do what I do. You wanna be the king, you gotta kill the king. This stuff's medieval, darlin'."

"Please don't do this. Please don't kill us." Her plea was obstructed by her sobs.

It was too late for pleas and he had shielded himself against her tears. He might not know who she was, but he would find out what she was capable of.

Rio laughed amused, "I ain't gonna kill nobody. Nah, man, you are."

He pulled the Magnum Desert Eagle out of his back and cocked the hammer back, sliding the golden metal over the mahogany table.

Her eyes wavered from him and the gun in a few seconds of hesitation, then she prowled for it, grabbing it and pointing it at him, her hand shaking as she stepped backwards.

"So, what you think, Deansy?" He turned to car-man amused, "She got what it takes?"

* * *

Was it weird to hear your own heart beating in your ears? Or feel how much your breathing was ragged and irregular? Was that sound her bones shaking inside her flesh?

It wasn't like she wasn't expecting him. She was.

But not like this. In her house. His daughter house.

Not with the possibility of leaving her children orphan of both their parents.

Yes, the gun was heavy. Yes, her hand was shaking. But now past her fears, what trembled her was anger.

On the outside, she was shaking, but on the inside, she was screaming.

Screaming out of frustration.

It wasn't like she had forgotten who the man sitting at her dining table was. Dean's face, bruised and defeated, was the record of the violence he barely kept on a leash.

It didn't scare her, it never really had, contrariwise, it made her reckless.

Like when he destroyed the heirloom toys and she threw him off with her speech on normal. Or when he thought they had stolen his money and this same golden gun caressed the skin of her neck. Or the night she threw those keys to his face.

But she also remembered the way he had helped Kenny with his math, or when he scared the monsters under Emma's bed, the advice he'd given her and she never followed, and mostly she remembered how he wrapped his arms around her when she'd needed it, how he'd kissed her so tenderly, how he'd made her his so consummately.

He was an enigma on contradiction. Temperamental. Unforeseeable. Dangerous.

She was nothing but a devoted mother. A housewife, betrayed, humiliated and broken, but this _suburban bitch_ had toppled him from his throne, she had taken him out off the game, even if it had only been for a minute, she'd held the power. She had been in control.

Like she was now, holding the gun.

Anger urged her to do something stupid, and not to put a bullet between those dark eyes that were provoking her into pulling the trigger.

No.

What Beth wanted was to shoot the man who nodded at her, encouraging her to shoot with his bruised and undefined face.

In that very moment, she was not seeing the father of her children.

Nope.

She was only seeing the godforsaken man who had twisted and unfolded her until she had nowhere to hide her shame, the ignoble piece-of-shit that taught her to genuinely loathe herself.

So she aimed at her husband.

Rio laughed, the eerie sound made the gun waver at him again.

"Do you see that, Deansy? Do you see how unpredictable _our Elizabeth_ is? Do you still think you know her?"

Dean didn't take his one-eyed gaze from her, the other eye was swollen shut, "Do it, Beth."

"Please shut up." She muttered, her hand gripping the gun handle harder as her finger closed over the trigger.

"Just shoot him." Dean incited her with a nasal growl.

The golden muzzle steered back to Dean. Beth clenched her teeth, but still, she couldn't control the sobs rocking her body. And she couldn't bring herself to shoot either.

Rio leaned back into his chair, nonchalant, the quirk of his mouth threw her off, "Divided between being a Widow or a Queen, uh? Don't worry, darlin', there are enough bullets for you to conquer both titles."

Beth slanted her eyes doubtful, "How do I know it's loaded?"

"Oh, you can tell by the weight." He drawled in that lazy manner of his, "You know, a full clip adds a pound."

"Or you could just pull the trigger." Dean stuck in.

"Dean, shut up!" Beth hissed.

Rio chuckled again, "I don't think she loves you, Deansy! I don't think she is capable of lovin' anyone but herself. Ain't that right, darlin'?"

"What are you doing, Beth? Shoot him!" Dean kept pressing her even when the gun was turned on him.

"Shut up!" She repeated abraded. The gun waved frantically between both men, her hand trembling profusely and uncontrollably.

A sob raked her throat as Rio shot up from his chair, his drawl huskier than ever, "What are you doing, Elizabeth?"

"Do it, please. Shoot him!" Dean spat.

"SHUT UP! Both of you!" She waved the gun back to Rio, "You sit back down."

"Do it, Beth" Dean kept on besieging her.

"SIT!" She snarled again, he didn't move, the psycho laugh only added to her torment.

The dark orbs daring her, her hand rattled under the weight of the gun, her finger bent and taut over the trigger.

"Just shoot, Beth!" Dean cried out from his broken lips.

And she did. She squeezed the trigger looking right into that one single eye, widened in surprise as the clicking sound resonated through the room. Once, twice, and a third time.

At Rio's laugh Beth waved the gun to him, she kept pressing the trigger again and again. Nothing happened but the click of the hammer hitting the empty chamber.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Rio shouted.

Sobbing, Beth lowered the gun to her side while he applauded, cheering at the marionette show he'd produced on his own.

"I gotta admit, this ain't what I was expecting, but if we look back, you never did what was expected of you, did you?"

Beth felt her skin burst up in a white-hot rage, felt it seep from every pore of her body. Her hands closed into tight fists at her sides, her nails biting into the skin of her palms and the rubber grip of the gun as Rio sauntered towards her.

There was no way to contain the enraged scream as she threw the gun at his face, just like she'd done with the keys. Unfortunately, her aim wasn't as true this time, it crashed against his chest then fell with a muffled thud onto the rug.

Beth watched as he picked it up from the floor then fished something out of his pocket— a magazine loaded with bullets as golden as the gun itself. He rammed it into the gun with expert and agile moves, stopping a meagre breath away from her. The smile was gone, there was no more mocking quirk, no more sarcastic remarks. Those black eyes... two hard coals of burning fury.

It only matched her own.

"You bastard! Is everything a fucking game to you?" She shrieked at his face, trembling from head to toe, her balled fists, pounding at his chest, "Do you get off on playing with people's lives? UH? DO YOU?"

"Shut your fuckin' mouth." He curled his lips grabbing her wrists, his drawl proceeded low and controlled, so contrasting with her infuriated screaming that made her shiver for a whole different reason— fear. "You're a fuckin' hypocrite. Who's playin' here, uh? I told you to go home, but you couldn't leave it, no, like an impertinent lily ass bitch, you ask for more. You always want more."

Beth struggled to get free but there was no giving, not from his grasp nor from his gaze. Everything dissolved, but him. The unrelenting grip on her wrists replaced by a tender hold on her chin.

"It's okay. You did your best." The gun muzzle caressed her temple and down her cheek, her lip trembled with expectation, the tears spurted freely as his gentle drawl lingered down her body and those dark orbs looked at her with a hint of sympathy. "But that ain't how this works."

It all happened to fast for Beth to do anything, not that she had the energy, it seemed to have evaporated from her as she pounded at his chest, her whole body hurt and ached, crushed by emotional exhaustion. She just wanted it to be over, all of it.

She welcomed the gun to her temple, contemplating it as a last caress while Rio settled behind her, leaning fully against her back.

Dean mumbled some plead she didn't understand. She closed her eyes instead. She didn't want Dean's battered face to be the last thing she saw. She thought of her children but it was Rio's blanketing heat that brought her solace. The closest she had felt to peace in a while.

She knew what was coming next. She had been there before. She waited for _It_ , but _It_ didn't come.

Then the gun was in her hand, the grip balmy to her touch, but Rio's calloused hand burned over hers as he forced her to circle the handle. He extended her arm, she did nothing to stop him as he aimed at Dean, even with the help of his hold she could feel the difference in the weight of the gun.

"That poor douchebag over there doesn't know what to do with you, _but I do._ " He stated leaning over her shoulder, his scent reminded her of the Madeira wine she'd taste at the bottle-shop the other day, filling her nostrils with musky burnt sugar notes as he laced his arm around her waist, towing her into his brawny body. His mouth was so close to her ear that a succession of goosebumps flared her skin when he spoke, _"Let's show him who the real Elizabeth is."_

His finger was over hers, gently, he didn't force it, no, she squeezed the trigger alone.

It was nothing like the empty click from before.

Beth didn't know what scared her the most, Dean's aghast expression or the bang that boomed through the room.

The gun kicked back, sending painful vibrations through her arm.

Dean's head slumped forward, bloodied spit trickled to the floor, his chest darkened with fresh blood, flowing out from a small hole where she supposed his heart was.

 _She had killed her husband._

That's when she realized that the noise blaring through her eardrums was herself screaming.

Her scream had fallen silent but her mouth still hanged open in horror, she didn't know what to do with her hands when Rio yanked the gun from her tight clasp.

"You're wastin' your tears. Don't expect compassion from me, you won't have it. I warned you what I do ain't child's play. You can't get down in the dirt and expect to keep your hands clean." He declared, sliding the gun back into his waist.

Him putting away the gun didn't assure her, they both knew he didn't need a gun a to kill her. The tranquillity he asserted fostered far more danger than the violence she knew embedded in him.

Beth just stood there, palsied by the intensity of him while three of his guys— the ones that seemed closer to him, Carlos, Dags and Cisco— invaded her house. She winced away from his touch, the trademark half-smile had a devastating effect on her, her heart sped up, palpitating uncontrollably, air didn't reach her lungs as he grabbed her arm within a death grip and dragged her to the front door.

Rio's fingers pinched her delicate skin almost cruelly as he leaned over her and opened the door, his lips barely touching the sensitive skin of her ear but all the same a thrilling shiver descended down her spine, "Don't even think of doin' somethin' stupid, Elizabeth."

The warning fell prosaic. Beth felt like she was walking on fine thread, possibly on the verge of a nervous breakdown as they made way to a black car parked in front of her door, a space that was empty when she arrived. Cold sweat pooled at her nape, her throat was so parched she didn't think she could talk ever again, let alone scream for help, yet her hands were humid, she felt unpleasant clamminess in between her breasts as he shoved her into the car.

Carlos raced for them, Beth couldn't listen to what was said because Rio had slammed the passenger door shut, but she did notice his jaws clenching as he took in what the other man said. Rio said something in return but she was not even paying attention anymore. She would have given her left arm and a kidney for her little pills right now, but her purse was left inside along with her sanity.

 _She'd killed her husband._

She had dreamed about it, so many times. In her dreams, she always felt healed, a sense of closure, freedom.

Reality was very different.

She felt dirty all the same, the oppressive weight in her chest didn't go away, on the contrary, she felt as chained to it as before, she was sunk deeper, engulfed on a black wave she didn't know how to ride. Darkness became her world.

The driver's door opened and closed making her jump both times. The engine roared to life, and even with A/C blasting her face, the cold sweat started to soak into her hairline.

Rio drove.

The minutes ticked into torturous silence.

She licked her withered lips, her voice tipping towards a plea instead of a question, "Are you going to kill me?"

"Nah." He drawled, taking his eyes off the road to look at her, his eyes illegible in the obscurity of their hoods, "Didn't you want the throne? Wasn't all this for it?"

Beth averted her gaze incapable of denying it.

"It don't matter no more. Now you have to be a Queen. I'm makin' you one... whether you like it or not."

He was right, it didn't matter, nothing did.


	16. Aftermath

Rio slowed down to an opening garage door, the fifteen minutes transcurred seemed more like fifteen hours to Beth. Her soul begot from her body, as if she was watching everything from above.

The same thought over and over flying through her mind. _She hadn't really squeezed that trigger, had she?_

She didn't even notice they had stopped until Rio opened the passenger door for her. Then he took her hand and she came crashing down from her haze, those enigmatic dark pools he had for eyes stopped her descending, anchoring her to reality.

Beth still didn't understand why he didn't just kill her. She had no idea what she was doing here, whatever this place was. The restored red brick building just on the outskirts of trendy and cultural Midtown could have been a factory centuries ago. Parked next to the Cadillac was Rio's black vintage Mercedes, shining sleek under the flicking lights.

What she knew for sure was that every action engendered a reaction. Beth was convinced she was here to face the fallout of hers.

Oddly, she felt a wry sense of calm being led into an old-school freight elevator. His touch warm above the cold dampness of her palm felt like the pull of a chain, somehow dooming her but also assuring her.

The vertical cage-like doors closed and the elevator squeaked up to the 2nd of three floors. Beth wasn't expecting for it to open directly into a loft apartment. The two storey ceilings — ebbed with exposed beams and wrought iron skylights — gave the room an atrium-like feel. During the day Beth was sure they would bring much-needed light to the gloomy bare brick, but now in the darkness of the night, they brought in the brightness of the stars reproducing the ideal mood lighting.

Rio let go of her to close the lift doors and Beth ventured further into his home. The renewed and polished concrete floors clicked under the chunky heels of her combat boots, her hand ran over the back of the well-worn leather couch that delineated the living space from the streamlined kitchen and dining area. A stylish iron and teak staircase led to an open mezzanine occupied by an immense bed, puffed up with white linen and pillows. Beyond the kitchen, there was an open patio from which Bella, Rio's bull terrier, came running from, circling both of them with several laps and wiggles of her short white tail.

Beth scratched her ears but Rio whispered some command in Spanish that made the dog disappear back into the patio and away from her line of vision. Beth found herself biting her lower lip, hands clenching, opening and closing, suddenly she didn't know what to with them. Rio crouched to tend to the fireplace, a wet bar right next to it with an impressively well-stocked rack of wines. Beth's parched throat ached for the burn of the harsher liquors on the drinks tray. Her hands certainly knew what to do with the glass but she figured Rio didn't bring her to his home to play host. Instead, Beth took the opportunity to snoop around.

The loft was a reflexion of his owner. Beautiful sleek angular lines, expensive but not pretentious, downplayed, like the clothes and minimal jewellery he wore. Like his home, Rio was discreet. He could blend anywhere even with that tattoo on his neck. His charm was chameleon-like, adapting to any situation with ease. Everything was there for a well-regulated purpose. There were no flashy accessories, the decorations almost simplistic.

There was not even a TV, he never struck her like the guy who would lay down and watch a movie on Sundays, no, he was too busy for something that trivial, the King didn't have days off, always ruling, succeeding.

Her attention was caught by the only personal thing in the room, a couple of framed photos. The first one recent, Rio had his arm over the shoulders of an older woman that could only be his mother, they shared the same dark eyes and honeyed skin tone. The other photo was grainy but she could recognize that secretive quirk of the lip anywhere, a slender young Rio —no more than sixteen years old and tattoo free— harvesting grapes with a profiled handsome man.

"Is this your father?" She heard herself asking out loud.

He didn't say a word, just studied her, his carved body leaned against the fireplace wall. A tad of trepidation roiled in the pit of her stomach as his dark gaze rambled from her face down to her breasts. Beth found herself tugging at the burgundy polka dot shirt-dress she'd opted to wear for the monthly wonted PTA meeting. The black leather biker jacket she'd paired with seemed way too stocky all of a sudden and yet so little protection against that penetrating gaze.

Rio prowled in her direction all fluid kinesis, and cross her heart, that swagger to his shoulder and the lazy dip of his knee? She never witnessed a more self-possessed or sensuous walk. The dress' cinched high-waist seemed to hinder her expanding ribcage, the threatening golden glint to the gun in his hand did not go unnoticed.

Beth swallowed the bundle of nerves previously fighting for attention in her lower belly and presently climbed up her throat making her want to squirm away from his predatory route. He veered around her last-second, playing her like prey. He proceeded to pull a chair from under the dining table, his inflamed knuckles turning white over the varnished wood. He simply waited, the silent command on those dark as a moonless night eyes didn't go unheard. He might grow disappointed when he realised that Beth was past the prey he fancied to taunt, in this scenario, she was just a carcass.

Beth made her feet move, smoothing her dress as she sank on the cushioned seat, her back straight as an arrow, hands balled into fists over her knees. Rio placed both hands over her shoulders and leaned in, not only entering her personal space but more taking it over and making it his own.

Beth didn't need to see it, she could feel it, the smile — _that one —_ the small lift on the corner of his mouth that drew out the sharp dominating blaze in his eyes and sent conflicting messages to her neurons. The golden metal thumped on the tabletop, residing just in front of her. The badinage back in his tone, "You have nothin' to fear, darlin', you _demanded_ not to point guns at you ever again, and I'm a man of my word."

Beth immediately missed the warmth of his touch, the pressure of his long fingers digging into the leather of her biker jacket. He pulled the chair next to hers and sat quietly studying her for long minutes, his hooded dark orbs wavering over her face, lingering on her parted lips as if he was mapping every crevice that streaked their surface to his memory.

When he spoke again was in that velvety deep drawl that never ceased to leave her disoriented, "Your plan was slick, Ma, but greasy."

Beth knew she could act dumb, pretend that she didn't know what he was talking about, but to do that was to simply delay the inevitable. It was like every other confrontation they'd ever had, Beth couldn't numb herself to him. He had a surprising effect on her, like the recoil of a spring giving her the strength to rebound. And as it turned out, the carcass, was still alive and kicking, "I was not going to stand there and smile while I waited for the day you would take my daughter from me."

"You talk so much about your prized family but you put them in danger with one stupid dare. Even when I told you it was over, that we were done, you thought it's all fun and games. That night I gave you an out because you might not know how this life works, but I do."

There was a pause as he leaned in, his face almost glued to hers, eyes flashing with rage and Beth couldn't move let alone breathe.

"There are three ways this life can go down, darlin'. You get killed. You get busted. Or you make it. That's a one-out-of-three chance, and it ain't comin' without loss. This ain't no joy ride, Elizabeth, you ain't got no idea what you stirred with your stunt."

Beth couldn't let herself be intimidated by him. She stared into those deep-set dark eyes and didn't waver, "I'm not going to apologize for what I did. I'm not the gambler here, you are! I never wanted this... _you._ But still, I had to play a game I could never win. I might not know the rules of your world but you don't know _anything_ about me, _what I do_ , _what I did_ or _what I'm capable of doing_ to protect my family."

His eyes flared again, "Oh, darlin', I know exactly what you're capable of. It's almost like lookin' in the mirror."

"I'm not like you." She quickly countered.

"Oh, you think you're special, uh? Why is that? Is it 'cause you play your role of housewife to your _precious_ family during the day and at night you hide behind the white picket fences to count your monopoly C's? You think that makes you better than me?"

"I never said that." She huffed.

"Nah, you didn't, why bother? _People like me_ don't talk things over, right?" The reminder from what she said the night she threw the keys at him made her stomach churn furiously. Rio propped his chin in the palms of his hands, looking at her with a sarcastic, almost boyish half-smile, "From where I'm standing, you're lookin' alot like me… needs some tweakin', but you fix the lyin' bitch part, we'd be _exactly_ the same."

Her words were spat slowly and thoroughly coated in bile, "Fuck. You."

There and then, as fast as greased lightning a hand curled around her neck. Beth didn't even see it until it was diligently curled on her skin. Each word was carefully growled in that innate velvet tone, "You have no idea what your childish rebellion cost me. I'm still cleanin' up your mess after four goddamn weeks while all I wanted to do was to pay you a visit and squeeze this pale lil' neck of yours."

Beth jutted her chin towards him, her blue orbs bolted to the raging molten darkness of his, "Get it over with then."

Rio cocked his head slightly, pondering her suggestion, watching her. He was always watching her and yet he was still unable to figure her out.

Her pulse began to thump fervid under his pollex, the tip of his thumb delving deeper into her flesh as a hawser of variegated emotions moored through his onyx gaze. It was too much to process and so complex that she scarcely translated the half of it.

And yet there it was, the truth, mingling in between the tumultuous magnetism tethering the two of them, under the bite of sterile coolness in the atmosphere. The primal she understood, there was no sixth sense warning her of danger; fear did not clog her veins… there was no smoke to this fire. It was enough to reach the obvious conclusion.

Her voice came out in a dry grimy whisper. "You can't."

The hand around her throat squeezed just enough to hinder her airflow but it was the displayed pain in his eyes that bequeathed her breathless. He released her as quickly as he'd trapped, the absence of his touch left her whimpering in utter frustration.

"Oh, believe me, it's not like I don't want to, but I ain't letting you off the hook so easily, nah Ma, you gonna have to suck this one up. And you best keep that vicious silver-tongue in check, I'm done with your tricks."

"Deal with what?" She asked exasperated.

"You didn't _just_ hand me to the Feds, nope, you lit up the fuckin' Batman sign over your own head, Elizabeth."

Beth frowned in utter confusion, "What are you even talking about?"

"You placed a fuckin' target on Emma's back... all your kids and even that douchebag husband of yours. I have enemies Elizabeth, and they so far up your ass that I ain't sure if I can protect any of yous."

"That's impossible," It was like void opened in the pit of her stomach, everything suddenly sucked into the black vortex, "No one knows about Emma, or us."

"Oh, really? How much you think they will have to dig to find out the real reason the bitch who fed my skin to the FBI is still alive?"

Rio leaned lazily against the chair's backrest, his long all muscular legs brushed against hers while crossing his sinewy arms under his chest, his large hands tucked in the crook of his armpits, the hateful slanted eyes told her it was probably to bypass the urge to squeeze her neck again.

"I ain't exactly known for being magnanimous, darlin'." He shook his head at her alarmed expression, "It don't matter, it's done. We gonna have to handle it."

"We? I— H-How?" Her voice was pitching into that tone she hated, "Who even are these _people?"_

"Bratva, the Russian mafia… mainly."

Beth's face fell with dismay, "Mainly?"

"What did you expect? It's a fuckin' ocean out there and you happened to drop my blood in the water, all the sharks smelled it. I told you before, this stuff is medieval."

"You mean a gang war?" He nodded in confirmation. Beth just sat there a gazillion things flashing through her mind. _God, she was a fucking wreck. Did she always have to bite more than she could chew? One step forward, three steps back?_

His humourless scoff brought her out grim thoughts. "Did the others fall this hard or was I the biggest idiot out of them all?"

"What?" Beth asked confused.

"Oh, Deansie and I had a nice chat. You can save it." He snarled as her frown deepened, addling her further, "He told me everythin' about the congressman, oil baron or whomever else you fucked for money. That the kids ain't his."

Her heart twinged with the sting. The last drop of compassion left for her husband rolled away with the pain. How she wished to go back in time and cancel the day she met him, wipe out the laugh that caught his attention, erase the goofy smile that charmed her.

She shouldn't be surprised, it wasn't the first time he'd accused her of lying about their children paternity.

After being at home with Kenny for two years, itching for something different Beth had applied for a PR position at this Canadian-American oil company. She was lucky enough to get an interview, she didn't get the job lacking the requisite experience but she certainly made an impression, the CEO — a broadly known middle-aged playboy — invited her for drinks. Beth refused, unfortunately, she was photographed by one of those cheese tabloids magazines exiting the building in his closeness.

The photo had been incredibly incriminating: Beth smiling at him, cheeks flushed by the cold winter air, the man's hand curved on her lower back lasciviously near her ass. From the angle it was taken it looked a intimate endeavour between lovers, when in veritas she was rebuking his advances. The bold font title accusing her of being his mysterious new mistress didn't help her case when Dean slapped open the two-page story over their dinner table, nor did the fact that knowing he wouldn't approve Beth hadn't told him about the interview.

For many years, and that instance included, Beth glamourized Dean's deranged jealousy, equating it to how much he loved her. Weeks later she found out that she was pregnant with Danny the hurtful accusations arose, triggering the dwindling of her naive fantasies.

She didn't know what hurt more, her husband's deluded lies or Rio believing them. But what did she expect after everything she'd done? Unconditional trust? Not even she was that gullible.

Even dead, Dean continued to cause her grief.

It was like an augury.

His words still carried weight. _When would she stop heeding to them?_

His presence retained, prevailing in her body. _Would the scars ever wane?_

 _When would she be free of him? Never?_

"Dean told you what he wanted you to hear." She declared firmly.

"And you ain't?"

Beth sighed tiredly, "Does it really matter what I say? You obviously already made your mind. Believe whatever you want. I don't owe you explanations anyways."

"Nah, I guess you don't. That's why you ain't told me nothin' 'bout Emma, uh? Nah, you were too busy makin' plans with your husband to oust me while I played your goddamn fool." He laughed crestfallen, "You know what I was doin' when the FBI came for me? Drinkin' myself into oblivion 'cuz there was no way I was taking my kid away from a picture perfect life and bringing her into my world, I'm in this shit so deep there is no way I can... I was set on givin' up on her. Turns out you ain't such a great role model after all, uh?"

"Rio, I—"

"I know… You didn't mean for this to happen. " Rio rescinded with a sigh, one of his huge hands rubbed his jaw, the knuckles broken and inflamed to double their size, his elbows rested over his knees while his thick fingers spread open over his scalp. His hair and beard longer than she could ever recall, and Beth first noticed how rumpled and tired he looked. "The one thing that I'm sure of is that you care for those kids."

 _Did she?_ What kind of mother would feel miserable with the happiness of her children? She couldn't even pack their lunches before popping a bunch of pills in her mouth, couldn't drive them to school without being fazed.

For how long could she keep up the facade? How long till her children looked at her the way he was looking at her right now? Disappointed and betrayed.

The hurt she'd caused him was impossible to deny, right there in the open, in front of her eyes, she'd done that. And now she was doing it to her children, putting their lives in peril, all so she could have a vendetta she couldn't even justify.

She was tangled in the web of lies she'd weaved all by herself, stuck, and yet the threads she designed never-ending.

The gun glinted golden over the table, what seemed a threat just minutes before lustrated into the solution.

"You have to kill me—"

Rio's rebuke was immediate, "No."

"You have to! You have to do it before they find out anything about Emma, you kill me they will have no reason to keep digging."

"I ain't gonna kill you, Elizabeth. That ain't the answer."

Anger mounted to her chest, "You want to be the father of the year? Well, here is your first lesson: You don't put anything in front of your children, not even your own life."

Beth felt stupid after the words left her mouth, she was literally preaching what she didn't practice, but he didn't know that.

Those black eyes lost all their molten magma on contact with the deep ocean of hers, setting hard like volcanic stone, "What if it came to choose between the two people you love the most in this world? Is it still that simple?"

Her mouth opened and closed, it wasn't the reaction she'd hoped for. She didn't want to listen to any of that, she needed the man that had viciously kissed her as form of punishment, she wanted the ruthless gangbanger that beat people to a pulp, needed the merciless criminal that pointed the gun at her husband's chest for her to shoot. Good thing she knew exactly what nerve to pinch to make him come out.

"I shot— killed Dean," Beth quickly correct herself, "The man I spent twenty years of my life with, the man who's more of a father to Emma than you will _ever_ be. _So yes, it is."_

The silence hung heavily between them. Each passing second the tension pulsed along her heart beating, louder and louder, until at last turned into a deafening roar that she was powerless to endure.

Rio dragged himself out of the chair, she never seen him defeated before, never imagined it possible. "I guess you were right then, we ain't the same after all."

Oh, how it backfired spectacularly! Those sibylline dark eyes pounded at the wall of arrogance she'd hastily built, tearing it apart, brick by brick.

"You wanted the throne? It all yours darlin', you're far more worthy to sit on it."

Beth was incapable of pronouncing a word as he turned his back on her. She stared at the contour of his stiff shoulder blades, remembering the feel of their muscular frame under her nails, the tattooed triceps flexing as he leaned over the wet bar counter before reaching for two old-fashioned glasses.

"He ain't dead," Rio muttered.

"What?"

"At least not yet." Rio added grabbing a bottle of bourbon, "My boys dropped him at the hospital."

Beth averted her gaze from him, the news were savoured like poison, the acrid taste adhering to the back of her throat.

The Bourbon's cork cap popped in her ears, the glug of amber liquid pouring into the glasses echoing in her head.

Of course, he wasn't dead, it was Dean. Her cross to bear.

That said, Beth didn't have the stomach to bear it one more minute. She didn't have in her to fight another battle.

It wasn't like Dean was the true villain of this story, nor Rio the big bad wolf pouncing on her for his deviant pleasure.

Beth had gazed into the abyss for too long.

She was the monster.

But now, the abyss gazed back at her with the answer. And go figure, a arm's length away.

It would be over... she just had to end it.

* * *

The cap came out of the bottle's neck with the usual pop of cork, Rio poured equally hefty doses of the amber liquid in both tumblers.

He couldn't stop himself from taking a good whiff at the fine Bourbon. It really was her drink. _Elizabeth in a glass._

The aroma was smooth like warm caramel, fragrant like toasted vanilla, as sweet as her.

Oh, yes, the connoisseur— of both, her and bourbon — was rewarded with dessert first, but soon enough the initial notes drifted away to reveal a heart reminiscent of a winter evening; The lingering but elusive smoke of charred oak, a dry-down touch of rawhide, the voluptuousness of dark-chocolate, and finally a hint of cherry, so tart and yet unsettlingly delicious.

"Do you remember what I asked of you, that night, on my backyard?"

Rio froze, the terminal frost in her voice setting his hands like claws over the rim of the glasses. _How could he forget anythin' 'bout that night?_

Fearful, he turned so slowly it might as well have been in slow motion. He was frightened and within reason.

The elegant pale hand that early that night shook — both under the weight of his golden gun and the burden of her decisions — now flint, the indicator serenely resting above the trigger, the golden muzzle a steady pillar under her chin, her eyes as cloudless as her intentions.

Rio forced himself to swallow the panic, ordered his lungs back to work, willed his tone to be neutral, "Elizabeth, put the gun down."

"I need to hear you say it, promise you'll take care of them."

Rio raised his hands, still clasped over the glasses and took a slow step towards her. It made her squirm in the seat. A shaky heave left her throat, the gun dug deeper into her skin, eyelids closed over the barren blue orbs, finger flexing over the trigger…

"HEY! Look at me—" She jumped on the seat and his heart jumped along with her, but it worked, he got her attention back, "Put it down... _please."_

She shook her head, tears rolled down her cheeks. Rio hadn't been afraid of the ocean before but those haunted deep blue eyes of hers never terrified him more. "Promise me."

"You know I can't do that." He said, it was a miracle that he sounded so calm and collected, maybe he should thank God for all these goddamn years of practice under stressful situations when this was over, "This ain't the solution, I have a plan—"

It happened too fast.

He saw the resolve, the letting go, just before her eyes sealed close again.

His hands spasmed open, the glasses shattered to smithereens on the floor.

He was already charging at full tilt when her finger squeezed the trigger.

His heart hurled to his mouth, his body froze in horror… nothing happened... the safety.

Beth sniffed in anguish, her eyes locked on his, wide in shock, in the millisecond of surprise before her thumb sought the safety on the side of the gun.

With barely a jiffy to spare he reached her.

The tackle was brutal, he hadn't measured his strength with the affliction to get to her.

Rio seized her hands as they toppled backwards, chair and all. She had the gall to tussle against him.

The deafening bang reverberated throughout his arms and the atrium alike.

The impact of the chair on the concrete floor was unforgiving and only paralleled by the racket of shattering brick.

With the air suddenly sucked from their lungs, they just stood there for what seemed an eternity. Arms extended above her head. Her trigger-finger still curled around the metal. Hands freezing cold underneath his. Unmoving, until their glued chests began to heave haphazardly, so close that her faint breaths tickled the bristles of his subtle. Her closed eyes made him fear the worst.

Rio pinned her wrists with one hand and hauled the gun from her stiff fingers. He shoved the damn thing away from them, the metal gliding easily on the smooth floors and only stopped by the splintered fragments of brick the bullet had shattered.

 _It could have been her brains scattered all over his floors._

Just the thought depleted the rush of adrenaline, exchanging for concern.

"Are you hurt?" His voice lacked all the composure it usually portrayed. _He could have lost her._

She didn't answer. Her breath feeble, her face ashen.

Rio was up in a heartbeat, quickly scooping her and hauling both up. Her arms curled around his neck, her forehead rested on the hollow of his chest, it brought some comfort to his frantic mind. He hurriedly sat her on the table, gently running his unsteady hands down her face and sides carefully scanning for any injuries.

"Are you hurt?" He asked again.

Beth shook her head and he couldn't stop himself from brushing away her wispy bangs, or from running his fingertips along the lines of her cheekbones and jaw and frame her face. His voice came out ragged in an unfamiliar and nerve-racking hybrid of anger, worry and sheer panic. "What the hell are you doing, Elizabeth?"

"I don't know." Her eyes fluttered open, heavy with tears, her voice torn by her trembling lips, "I just want it to be over."

Rio couldn't discern a hint of deceit on those disturbingly distant blue orbs. Something foreign filled his chest, in that instant he understood that it didn't really matter, he didn't give a fuck about her past, that her present held no significance if he couldn't hold her at that moment, tomorrow or a thousand years from today.

So he held her. _Close. Tight. Always._

It might have been hours, minutes or seconds until her arms hesitantly wrapped around his torso. Time was then registered by the beating of her heart, finally steady and rivalling his own.

"You crazy, crazy woman." He whispered letting her go of his tight embrace, his hands dallied over her hips because he couldn't stop touching her.

It was absurd, he had all the reasons in the world to keep her at an arm's length, withal he couldn't. He was hesitant to let go, frightened to death of losing her.

"I need you." He let his forehead drop to hers savouring the truth, his doom.

She made a sound, something he never heard before, something delicately threading within the lines of a shaky cry and a gasp of primitive want. Her chin tipped up to reach him. It was soft, barely a graze and yet substantial in despair.

Beth pulled away as wary as she reached in, nervous, eyes peeled open, downright overwhelmed.

He wasn't sure what tore his beating heart out of his chest. If the sound, the tentative touch of her lips, or her unveiled vulnerability.

Then it mattered no more.

Not when her hands curled over his shoulders. Not when her fingers clawed into his skin, not when her intriguing lips reached his, clamping and pulling at his lower lip. He didn't hesitate to lock on the perfection of hers.

Tasting her was like being sucked in a whirlpool, coiling him back to the bittersweet begging six years ago, and being spewed back to the brackish end. Back to that moment. To the alkaline trail of her tears.

Cradling her jaw, fingers burrowing in her silky hair, he erased them away with tenderly moistened kisses, again and again, until there was nothing more than the freshness of her skin over his taste buds.

He took her mouth, gingerly at first. Caressing. Brushing. Licking. Suckling. Bitting. Until hunger roiled at him, unbearable. He wanted more. Deeper. Harder. He demanded and she gave back, twice as much.

Her leather jacket dropped with a muffled thud on the floor, giving him access to the light fabric of her dress. Her breast overfilled his hand, the tip quickly firmed to his attentions, he lunged for her neck, breathing her in, scoring the sensitive skin, first with his beard then with his honed teeth and only to smooth the bite away with the cushion of his lips.

Her heavy breathing, louder than the thumping his own heart, was all he could hear. Her pleasure, was all he wanted.

She tugged at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head, her hands slithering down the hard planes of carved muscle and perched over his belt buckle in a hesitating second, her eyes asking silently for assurance as if she wasn't sure he wanted it.

 _If only… it would make everythin' so much easier._

He held her face between his rough palms, his fingers spreading over her scalp, he kissed her, pressing himself against the hot apex of her thighs, letting her feel how much he needed her.

He left a trail of wet nibbling kisses down her neck, the hollow of her clavicle, reaching for the first button of her dress, exposing the porcelain glow of her breasts, pawing and elevating them onto his mouth, kissing their curved swell.

His belt clinked loose, the jeans' button fly raked open, her fingers dipped into the elastic band of his briefs, following the curves of his gluteus and yanked his briefs just enough to free him. Her nails trawled through the short and crisp hairs, circling the base of his cock. Rio forgot how to breathe when she pumped him tentatively.

Growling, Rio grabbed her legs and hauled her ass to the table's edge, to his surprise she squirmed against him, the palms of her hands glided to his pecs and pushed him slightly away so she could stand. Then she turned around and raised her skirt. The hem of wispy material fluttered just above the creamy upcurve of her ass, unspoken command and candid offering alike.

His cock stretched to a whole new level of pain at the sight of blue panties wedged between the alabaster globes. She teased him further, leaning slightly, giving him a glimpse at the dark pool of arousal staining the panties crotch.

He took her offering gripping her creamy thighs earnestly, rubbing himself against her, his cock clasped like a vice between her buttocks, suckling and branding her nape, feeling her heat with his fingers, rubbing her clit over the soaked garment.

Her hoarse moans told him she couldn't wait another second, neither could he. He hooked his fingers on her panties and yanked carelessly, the seam ripped apart with the brute oomph. Beth wiggled out of them as he rubbed the tip of his cock over the wet folds.

He took her nape bending that ass over the table. Beth's hands seized the table edge, knuckles turning white, with expectation. He thrust his hips, the broad head heeded past the tight entrance, making both groan. He pulled slightly back and pushed in again, easing deeper. She was so fucking tight that he had to hold, feeling giddy with the resistance surrounding him in velvety heat.

But she wasn't having it, she threw that ass back, slowly swallowing him whole. He had to dig into her hips, clenched his jaw and say a little prayer to save himself from spilling right there, her worked out pants making the task tenfold difficult, it wasn't like he could stop himself either, she felt too good.

Rio started rocking his hips, barely drawing out of her, stretching her with deep strokes, pulling out further as she relaxed around him, thrusting in farther and harder until they unearthed a rhythm that left them both on the verge of befalling hap.

The dress wispy material caressed the base of his cock with each ram, supplying him glimpses of her wobbling asscheeks and the greedy suction of her pussy lips around the girth of his cock. T'was almost enough to throw him off the edge, but she wasn't ready to plunge with him just yet.

He pulled out to her whimper, hawked from the depths of her throat. He quickly spun her around and lifted her onto the table's edge, capturing her lips and drinking her complaint with one heated kiss.

He dipped two fingers into her drenched pussy, her lips hauled away from his with a painstaking moan. Rio took the opportunity to nibble at her chin dimple, down her neck and breast bone and plucking his tongue under the wire of her laced bra while he curled his fingers inside her, rummaging for that sweet spot in her blazing omphalos. His lips trailed down her clothed belly, sinking to the floor.

He wanted to take her hooded peachy nub into his mouth, spread her open to gauge the complete vision of her. She, the epiphanic embodiment of beauty, would always bring him to his knees.

Beth forced her thighs closed around him before he could do it the dress impairing his view. "No," Her hand gripped the back of his head and pulled him back up, her breath almost frantic as she rested her forehead to his. _"You need me."_

"Elizabeth..."

 _"Please."_ She whispered softly.

The haunted need in those eyes tore at his will, making it hers.

His hand spread over the slight curve of her belly, pinning her further on the table as compromise. He hauled her leg up, grabbing the sliver of luminous skin just above her ankle, and running the side zipper of her combat-boot and throwing it to the side, then the other only to find her socks were a mismatch. The smile curved his lips just as unexpectedly, her blush and bashful grin as adorable as the little find. He couldn't resist but peck the small slump on her lower lip.

He threw her leg over his shoulder while her hand slithered between them and aligned him to her opening.

Looking deep into her eyes he filled her slowly, she threw her head back hissing in pleasure, he kept her steady, hand fisted into her soft tresses.

He didn't relent. Hard. Rough. Taking what he needed. Giving her what she wanted. Until they both yielded. She, squirming against him, gripping him to her core with frenzied need. Her moans increased in cadence, breathless and shallow, giving away her imminent climax almost as much as the soaring fever around him.

Rio detangled her leg from his shoulder, gripping the table edges for leverage he built the depth of his thrusts. Slowing down but raming harder, burying himself as deep as she would take him with each plunge. Beth's laced her limbs around him, her heels prodded into the hollow of his glutes, her nails skewered into his shoulders trapezius, her avid internal walls began to ripple around him. Rio buried his head in her delicate neck, feeling his own released condensing. He quickly cupped her ass bearing her as closely as humanly possible, hand scudding between them, fingers circling her clit in compass with the crude and deep-felt thrusts of his cock.

Her tamed caterwaul was as delicious as the feel of her walls contracting rhythmically around him, sucking him in deeper, milking him harder.

With her laboured moans vibrating in his ears, one hand clutched tight on her nape, and the other laced around her waist, he dived deeper, white-hot bolts of relief built in his balls and flared up his spine, his cock bulged, throbbing onwards the rest of his body. With a pained groan, he spilled his seed in hot prolonged bursts, embedded deep inside her, Rio combusted completely ravaged by her flames.

Beth clutched to him for the longest time, both internally and on the surface, her breasts heaved squashed to his chest, he ought to hold her as long as she needed him.

Her lips trailed along his jaw, he lifted his head from the crook of her neck to gaze at those mesmerizing eyes. He'd seen her beauty, her flaws, understood her body by heart, but would he ever understand her essence?

Rio brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek, tucking a strand of strawberry hair behind her ear. "Hi, stranger."

* * *

Beth traced his unruly eyebrow with the pad of her fingers, a smile of lazy and utter satisfaction spread over her lips, "Hi back."

Then he kissed her. His lips accommodating to the generous cushioning of hers, kneading and coercing them open for his tongue. Bittersweet enrapture, that's what he tasted like. Everything, was what he felt like.

 _It isn't right._

Beth ended the kiss abruptly, her eyes dropped to the inked eagle on his throat but her hands lingered over the smooth planes of his chest.

They hang on like that for an awkward moment until Rio pulled out of her moist warmth and tucked himself back in his pants. She slid from the table and adjusted her skirt. Not sure what to do or say now that the coital post-hoc was over. That was until his cum seeped slowly down her inner thigh.

The last fly button slid in place by the agility of his fingers, her eyes diverted down the line of hairs on his navel to the deep carved V of his hips. Beth cleared her throat, "Bathroom?"

"Next to the kitchen, first door to your left." His hand clasped around her wrist before she could leave, adjuring her look at him, "You sure you okay?"

 _No._

"Yeah."

His thumb circled the inside of her wrist gingerly, "They are going to be fine. _I promise."_

When Beth veered into the hallway that Rio had indicated, she was on verge of tears. The powder room as sleek as the rest of the house, she noted leaning against the closed door with a sigh, sore and exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Beth dragged herself to the toilet bowl with another sigh, quickly did her business and cleaned herself up. Her insides tender and slightly burning, not that Rio had hurt her, she'd been ill-used beforehand. Dean had laid hands on her a couple of nights ago, drunk as a skunk and with another kind of violence in mind than the quotidian fist.

Her inner thighs were marred by two small fading bruises where he'd driven his hip bones, teeth marks cast around her left areola, handprints still branded her forearms. With the numbing effect of the pills fading away, her stomach begun to ache where he'd attempted to kick her. _Lucky her_ , completely hammered he'd missed the mark two out of the three times.

Beth opened the water tap and leaned over, watching the water swirl on the pretty copper skin before glaring at her disgusting self in the mirror.

Rio didn't deserve to be tainted by her filth. She shouldn't have initiated anything in the first place. The brands on her body hadn't stopped her, but she wasn't brave enough to let him undress her and reveal them either, afraid of what he would say, do or not do faced with the living proof of her shame. Of her weakness. Of how vile and rotten she was.

Beth splashed her face with the freezing cold water as a wave of nausea hit her, the last thing she wanted to do right now was pray to the porcelain god.

The remnants of her ruined makeup washed away, her red nose and bleary eyes did nothing but enhance the purple eyebags and the waxiness of her skin. She wished she could pull a Samantha Stephens and make her purse pop out of nowhere with a snap of her fingers. A little makeup plus a line of powdered magic could do miracles.

But alas, there was no such things as miracles, not for her, and the only magic she knew came from a man that would ultimately despise and shun her.

 _I promise._

The man who broke all his rules for her, the man she didn't deserve to love her.

The light above the mirror flicked in rapid succession, once, twice... Beth closed her eyes and forced herself to bottle up her emotions, it should come easily from years of practice. Instead, she slipped into the empty void that sucked in everything.

Suddenly she was somewhere else. Laying cold, naked and defiled over hardwood floors. The dented abajur of her bedside table lamp flickered on and off next to her, once, twice... Dean's red-rimmed eyes and twisted face leering at her from above, " _No one needs a disgusting whore like you."_ Hot and sticky alcohol fermented spit settled on her face as he slurred away, _"And once I'm through with you..."_ The size eleven foot arched back and lunged for her, _"... I'll make sure no one wants you."_

Beth lurched back, her arms raised, protecting herself from the invisible foe. She hit the wall harshly, the back of her head bounded against a low hanging wooden shelf. The hint of pain woke her from the flashback. She just stood there for a moment, heart palpitating violently, arms still raised, waiting.

Her fear-struck eyes engaged to the reflex of themselves in the mirror, her stomach revolving and threatening to hurl again. Beth let her back slid slowly down the wall, muffling the wretched wails coming out of her mouth with both hands.

Fucked in the head, that's what she was. She'd attempted to kill her husband, tried to kill herself, and had sex with the man who'd provided her with the tool for her deeds, all within the course of an hour. Totes and thoroughly fucked in the head.

Beth didn't know if she was crying or laughing when the bathroom door slammed open, the back and forth rocking she didn't notice she was doing stopped when his hand squeezed her shoulder. Beth looked up, anger and hurt laced between her words, "You should have let me go."

Rio scooped her into his arms, "I think I've told you this before, there ain't no place, either in this world or the other, you can hide from me… 'cause I'll follow you, I'll find you and I'll never let you go."

He carried her back to the living room, Beth had no idea of what to expect, what to do. So she did nothing and expected the unexpected.

The gun was nowhere to see, the shards of glass and the spilled bourbon cleaned along with the mess of broken brick. Two new drinks were waiting for them over the coffee table. Rio dropped them on the couch, cuddling her in his lap with a throw around them.

"Drink." He ordered placing one of the glasses in her hand

Beth took a small sip, making an instant disgust face at the overly sweet taste, "This isn't bourbon."

Rio chuckled, "Cognac. Works faster on nerves. Drink."

"I don't like it." She stated but still took another sip.

"C'mere, let me help." His voice dropped three octaves as he leaned to her lips, sweeping his tongue over hers until all the remnants of cognac were gone.

Beth sighed and relaxed again his shoulder, watching him watching her for a few seconds.

"Sorry I ruined your wall." She murmured.

"Nothin' that can't be fixed— Besides, I think we're even." He drawled, hand going under the blanket and pulling something out of his pocket… her wrecked panties hanged from his fingers, "I ruined your panties."

His smug side-smile cracked Beth into giggling. "Can't fix that, uh?"

The smile died, the playful tone in his voice succumbing. "No, you can't."

Beth found the collar of his t-shirt very interesting all of a sudden. Rio's fingers reached for her chin, thumb caressing the hollow of her dimple, uplifting it to look into her eyes, "I can't lose you. Don't you ever pull that shit on me again. You hear me?"

Beth nodded accepting the comforting touch of his lips, sighing as he pulled away, her eyes lingering closed still savouring their kiss, "Rio, what are we gonna do? Emma, my kids... I can't let anything happen to them."

"They're safe at grandma's."

"Should I even be surprised you know where they are?" Beth sighed again, "You didn't answer my question... what do you need from me?"

 _Everything._ The unspoken word lingered in the silence between them.

"The FBI froze my assets and they're watching me like a hawk. I need to lay low and you, darlin', you gonna need to step up for me, be my acting Queen."

Beth swallowed the bitterness his words brought her, "What do I have to do exactly?"

"For now, Imma need you to keep washing the money. Protection is expensive."

"How much?"

"All of it."

Beth frowned, _all of it_ sounded a hell of alot, her gears grinding at 200%. "I don't understand. Why would you trust me on this after everything?"

"Because I have no choice. The tables were turned, we have to play in the same team if we want to keep everyone safe." There was no anger in his words but she felt hurt all the same, "I think you capeesh what's at stake here, yeah? You fuck up, they die."

A tombstone silence fell over them. Beth bit her lip pensive, "Why were you at my house? You knew I wasn't there, the same way you know where my kids are... you were there for him, weren't you?"

"That was the plan." He said, placing his hand over her shaky ones and guiding the glass to her lips. "Keep drinking— Kill two birds with one stone."

Beth looked at him confused, "Two birds?"

"Killing him would take the attention from you. No one would give a second look at you, no ones suspect the cookie-cutter housewife after all." Rio chuckled at her pout, "'Tis an advantage, sweetheart, not a knock. Shooting your husband still serves as a diversion or at least will buy us some time. I should have aimed to his head but his heart seemed more _poetic_ at the time."

Beth ignored his comment, her slanted eyes assessing him, "What was the second bird you wanted to kill?"

His jaws rocked back and forward, "I wanted him to go away."

It all clicked in her mind, "Because of Emma."

"Emma… you. I have plenty of reasons to want your piece-of-shit husband dead, it's yours I can't grasp."

"I don't want to talk about it." Beth said, the hands around the warmed glass of cognac instantly turning white with tension.

"Why?"

"Why what?" She bit back.

"Why do you keep dodging the hard questions?"

"I'll wash the money," Beth darted out the sofa with a speed that made the amber liquid topple over the rim of the glass, the thick bottom clinked over the coffee table a bit too harshly. "I want to leave, we're finished here."

"Are we, Elizabeth?" Her lip trembled and she turned her back to him. Rio rubbed a hand over his face wearily, "You love to sweep the shit under the rug when is the most convenient for you, uh?"

"Stop!" She snapped.

"Must be nice just go through life just ignoring your problems, uh?"

"Please… stop."

He got up and spun her by the shoulders, "I ain't gonna let you sweep this one up! I want a straight goddamn answer—"

"Let me be!" Beth shoved his chest with an infuriated snivel.

He didn't buck, not even one inch, "Give me a good reason, and I will."

"I don't wanna lie to you!" She shouted, squirming away from his touch, "Not anymore."

Rio grabbed her hand before she could get away, "Then don't."

His fingers dug painfully into her skin. "Let. Go. You're hurting me!"

Eyes glowing with irk, Rio nodded his head, licking his lip in his usual annoyed shtick, his hands loosen the death grip but he didn't let go, his hand remained on hers, "Did it meant anything to you?"

Beth shook her head frantically. "God, please, stop!"

He didn't stop. "Because to me, it meant everythin'."

"I don't wanna hear it." She begged desperate, "Don't…"

 _"I love you."_

Beth felt each one of those words like a stab to her poisoned black heart. The tears rolled down her face when she hissed her next words, "Then you're an idiot."

If she hadn't studied that smile so much, she wouldn't have noticed the slight waver on it, but the hint of pain marring his dark eyes was all too plain. "So I've been told."

Beth couldn't let him do this. She was a phony, she would ruin him, like she'd ruined everything else she'd ever cherished.

"A while back I slipped on the stairs, broke my ankle in three places. The bones were set with a bunch of screws, the docs said the pain would eventually go away… and it did. But some days... some days my ankle just doesn't feel quite right. It feels different."

Beth paused for a moment, flicking her gaze to the floor, readying herself to sell the biggest lie she'd ever told, the one that ripped the rest of her apart.

"That's how I feel about you. You're a pain. One I can't quite figure out, one I don't want, one I'll have to deal with until this circus is over and my children are safe. One that will go away, eventually."

She didn't know how she kept it together when the light in those dark eyes faded, how she managed to inflict the next cutting words, "Does that answer your questions?"

Rio took a step back as if he couldn't stand to be near her, his fingers brushing hers as he backed away. The dark orbs clouded, forever impossible to read. "Loud and clear, darlin'. It was all I wanted to know."

Her fingers almost curled back on his, but she knew better, it was for the best, still, the pain didn't ease.

Instead, Beth balled her hand into a tight fist wanting to keep the warmth of him for as long as possible, in her heart she was sure it was the last time he would ever touch her.

She had been used and abused, scarred and tormented, been on the flip side more than once, still, she never hurt this much.

"Can I leave now?"

He didn't say anything, just grabbed the car keys and strutted to the elevator.

Beth made herself follow him. The agony followed her.

* * *

Rio veered into the hospital carpark, stopping in the empty space next to her van, Carlos awaited in the driver seat as expected.

"What now?" Beth asked.

"Now you go up there and behave like a desperately worried wife whose husband was mugged and almost shot to death," Rio said opening the glove compartment and taking out an envelope with her name written on it. "Who knows, maybe the bastard dies, uh?"

Beth ignored his comment and grabbed it, but he kept it clasped between his fingers, unyielding, "Put on a good show, yeah?" He added with a mocking side smile.

Beth opened the envelope, the small golden key fell into the palm of her hand. "What is it for?"

"The keys to the kingdom."

Beth's eyes snapped up to his, turbulent like high tide. Much better than the defeated emptiness that scared the shit out of him early that evening, worse than the chilled coldness that had frostbitten him as she finally told her truth.

He wasn't feeling like himself ever since. The smiles were forced, the jokes feigned. He wasn't used to pretending. He couldn't look at her for one more second, so he looked ahead, a bug squashed to death on the windscreen took his interest, funny, it was exactly how he felt.

"I lied, earlier," Beth stated, barely a whisper.

"What a surprise," Rio muttered through his clenched jaws.

"I do owe you an apology." Beth continued, "I am sorry... Sorry, that you didn't get to watch Emma first step, first day of school, first tooth, that you missed on her calling you Daddy. I am deeply sorry for stealing that from both you."

Beth waited. If she was waiting for compassion he had none. There was no forgiveness for that.

"I'll keep you posted." He dismissed her.

She nodded and opened the door, Carlos already materialized next to the car, holding the door open for her. Beth hurled her ass out and Carlos bear-claw-for-hand unexpectedly clasped around her arm, he witnesses her jump out of her skin from the corner of his eye.

Her purse was pressed against her midriff, her phone slapped in her hand, Carlos large frame scooted around her — correction — almost run her over, and climbed in the car. If looks could kill she would be very much dead.

She turned around, moving one feet after the other and calling the elevator, the doors opened almost immediately with the customary ding. She only dared to look up when the crack between the doors was practically null. He was staring right back at her, their eyes meeting even in the distance, for a fraction of a second, still, he was torched.

"Que hiciste a la tipa esa? Casi se caga en las bragas." Carlos asked slamming the passenger door shut, sulky as ever. He had even less compassion than him for the redhead that had incarcerated him, even if for less than 24 hours.

Rio smirked sadly, "No lleva bragas."

"Pinche idiota!" Carlos cussed. "Puta madre! La _Blanquita_ aún te tiene por las pelotas."

Rio ignored him, going straight to the chase, "So… you find anythin'?"

Carlos sucked his teeth still muttering curses under his breath, he dug something out of his pocket and waved it in front of his eyes. "T'was in her purse, plus plenty supply at the house."

The pills rattled in the half-full meds container, "What is it?"

"Oxy."

Rio's jaw rocked back and forward in silent fury.

 _Goddammit, Elizabeth._


	17. Quid Pro Quo Pt1

The cushioned court surface bounced under his feet as he slowed down. And as he predicted, the tennis ball landed _just_ outside the line winning him the final set.

"Good match, counsellor."

Gretchen Zorada rolled her amber eyes at him but took his hand above the net. "It's hard to find a good practice partner these days."

Rio scoffed, "You should try a less intimidating approach."

"I never intimidated you." She returned with a smile of her own.

Rio packed his racket and swung the duffle strap over his head, "I'm not most."

She spun on her heels, sipping from a bottle of water, "I am aware. Most just want my _benefits._ "

Rio wiped the sweat pooling above his brows with the microfiber band around his wrist, "You do come with many."

"Ah, come on, spill it! You must be needing something! Buttering me up like that when you never tried to get yours back?" She countered placing a folded towel around her neck.

Rio chuckled, the double-edged banter was nothing new between them, "Why, Counsellor! If I didn't know any better I'd say you miss me. Besides, you're the one that turned that chapter."

"It was a mutual agreement, as I recall it." She said as they walked side by side.

Rio hummed an assent, "Business over pleasure."

"Always." She agreed.

He just wished he could separate them just as easily when the dealing was with Elizabeth. "Since pleasure is clearly off the books, what kinda business bring us here?"

"There is someone I would like you to meet."

Gretchen led him to a table occupied by a suited black man. The country club was fairly discreet; it wouldn't be the first time Gretchen had one of her _meetings_ orchestrated here.

"This is Douglas Johnson, a fellow attorney and good friend of mine."

He greeted the man before returning his focus back to Gretchen, "Are you turning our professional chapter too, counsellor?"

Gretchen chuckled, sitting next to the man and filling their cups with steaming tea, "Never. Douglas was a junior at my firm before he branched out to the D.A.'s office. He also _happens_ to be Agent's Turner boyfriend."

Rio had to hide his smile behind the cup. Gretchen never ceased to surprise him, she'd groomed a mole into the D.A.'s office and Turner's life. He sipped his tea, "I'm listening."

And he listened. All about the new evidence that had surged via the Fine and Frugal manager, and the deposition he was going to give in a couple of weeks. The same manager whom had been fairly paid to turn a blind eye to the considerable amounts of cash in the safe. Then he'd seen the photo of the little turd and he never forgot a face. The man was at Kenny's birthday party all those months ago. It had to be something personal. Something else that _Mrs Boland_ was withholding from him.

" _Sheesh!_ Agent Turner really has it in for you, huh?" She said once Turner's boyfriend went on his way. "Any remote idea why?"

"Beats me." He took a pause in silent reverie, "That evidence needs to be taken care of."

"It won't be going anywhere until — _and if —_ they get a warrant for DNA. I fancy keeping my hands from the dirt until it's absolutely necessary." Gretchen said browsing through the photos Douglas had taken of Turner reports. "The FBI received the injunction this morning. Your assets should be unfrozen in 48 hours. Meanwhile, _you_ need to take care of the _real_ problem."

"Oh, don't worry, _she_ is going to take care of it." He muttered under his breath.

 _"She?"_ Gretchen's head snapped up, "You really think that's a good idea? _She_ is the problem! The _real_ problem!"

The tip of his tongue found way into the corner of his mouth, a give on when he was annoyed, one of the few habits he hadn't be able to kick. "I would have asked your opinion if I needed it."

Gretchen tutted, "Someone is touchy."

He had been _touchy_ for a while. Being fucked over, arrested, get into a gang war and rejected, all in the space of a couple weeks might just do that to a person.

Deep down he knew it was more than that. He was more than worried for that treacherous bitch. Not just the oxy - he was still unsure if she was using, he couldn't exactly trust the words of that ding-dong husband of hers, he certainly never seen signs of it, but he wasn't looking either - He was still shook to the bone by what had happened in his living room. Seeing someone you love on the brink of doing something like that, changes something.

Rio sighed. "Yeah, sorry. This whole thing it's... complex."

Gretchen waived his outburst with a nod and kept on with dissecting the photos on her tablet. Rio employed the small hiatus to finish his tea. It wasn't like he hadn't already chosen the route he was going take her. He would give her one last chance to jump ship once she wiped her share of the mess she created - Leslie Peterson.

"There's something else I need you to do."

"Do tell." Gretchen's eyebrows and lips arched in amusement, "I'm feeling magnanimous."

Rio chuckled, "You can save your bullshit for another time, Z. This one is pretty straight forward."

Her amusement turned into a deep frown as soon as he explained what he wanted. A will-trust with Emma as beneficiary.

"Don't you want to order a paternity test before you do that?"

He nailed her with a look that left no room for discussion. Gretchen pursed her lips disapprovingly. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Nope."

"Client-attorney privilege..." Gretchen said tilting her head to the side fully knowing he was not telling the full story. Some of the consequences from Mrs Boland's shenanigans were best kept in the dark.

One thing he'd learned from Gretchen was that the best defence was a good offence, so the thing with the Russians was about to reach head, it shouldn't be a problem but he was about to blow up a rival gang, things like that got unexpectedly sticky, he just wanted Emma settled for the future, just in case.

"It's all good, you worry too much."

"It's my job to worry."

Rio got up with and winked a goodbye, "Just make sure Dean Boland can't touch a dime, ever."

"Rio…" He turned in time to see Gretchen's cup clinking on the matching saucer, "Be careful."

"Always."

* * *

Tossing in bed for what had to be the hundredth time that night, Beth punched holes in her pillow and fluffed them back up before falling heavily on her back. She squeezed her eyelids until they were tenaciously wrinkled and it almost hurt but just like tossing and adjusting, futile. Sleep hadn't come easily for a while now.

With a diaphragmatic sigh, she shot up from the bed. Sliding her feet into the fluffy slippers, she reached for the robe at the foot of the bed.

The house was dead silent as she tiptoed to the laundry room to grab what she needed. It probably was a cockamamie theory but she had to do something, she had to try.

The front door clicked into the lock softly behind her. Dew droplets spattered the hood of her van and the dampness quickly swaddled her. Beth made way to the trunk, the wrench in her pocket clunked mutely against the rear bumper while she pulled out the stop sign she'd _borrowed_ early that night.

With the step ladder in hand and the stop sign under her arm, Beth marched towards the empty pole.

She still didn't know what had gotten into her. One minute Annie was yapping about Boomer and all the different ways she was going to kill him, the next the wheels were screeching on the road, her foot had rammed the brake pedal all the way down. Then she was out of the car, marching with intent towards her target.

She had a breakdown. There was no other way to put it when you grab a baseball bat — the one she carried in her van since Rio's _warning_ — and start beating the crap out of a stop sign.

She'd bashed her frustrations on the red octagon screaming her bellows until her throat was raw. It didn't take long for the lack of sleep to catch up with her all stopping just as suddenly as it had started. The alloy bat dropped on the tarred road, rolling and clicking away into the gutter while she'd crumbled to the floor. And although her arms had ached, heavy as bricks, it was another kind of exhaustion — the kind that brewed from the soul — that had dragged her down. Oddly no tears had come.

She hadn't cried since the hospital.

And she wasn't talking about the maniac bouts of uncontrollable crying and laughter in the waiting room while she told the girls what had happened in her dining room.

" _It's just the idea that, like… I shot him, I mean… I couldn't shoot the gang leader. And then there's just… Dean, he's just sitting there. And then, like all of a sudden, I shoot, like… I shot him right in the heart. I mean, talk about a bullseye."_

No tears of relief to wash away her guilt when the doctors informed that her husband was expected to have a full recovery. _'Another inch to the right, we'd be having a very different conversation. He has a long road ahead, but his vitals are stable.'_

No. She was talking about when she reached into her purse for her mollifiers and the little helpers were nowhere to be found.

She cried after she'd bribed a nurse with the 304 dollars she had in her wallet for one pill.

 _One. Single. Pill._

Beth could still hear her own frantic tone, desperate and afraid as the pain began to rear its ugly head by the second. She'd _begged,_ urging the money into the nurse's open palm. The pity in the woman's eyes had been almost enough to make her want to go through the hell of withdrawal.

 _Almost._ That was the problem. It was always almost.

She'd hunkered down into an empty chair instead. Crawling out her skin waiting for the woman, hoping she didn't just take her money. Longing for just one more little pill to relieve her misery before it whacked through her like a freight train.

That one pill became the apotheosis of her addiction. It was also the first time the word _STOP_ took emergence in her mind.

 _She needed to stop._

For those next couple of weeks, she tried - _desperately -_ to keep the consumption under control. Some days she did better than others.

Balancing on the unleveled step, Beth aligned the holes on the stolen stop sign with the ones on the pole. It took a few tries and a whole lot of cussing but finally, one after the other, the screws went through the holes securing the metal in place.

Maybe it had been just the possibility of getting caught _\- figuratively speaking -_ knee deep in Dean's blood that instigated the kick of adrenaline that sailed easier through the next days. But she did good after getting home from the hospital.

Dealing with nosy neighbours, aka twat Elaine had been kinda fun:

 _"Oh, my God! What happened? Who steals a stop sign?"_

 _As if she knew_ … probably the same kind of people who jogged and worked weights at the same time.

"Stupid kids... _not yours,_ of course. Yours are _angels._ "

Beth had to force a smile as she got the rest of the cleaning supplies she'd never get to use out of the boot, "That's a strong word, Elaine."

"Which one made a mess this time?"

"Me."

The bitch had just stood there giving the once over on her dishevelled figure, instead of getting the hint to fuck off.

'You have to tell me where you brought that dress, hun! I've been in love with that outfit since the _moment_ you walked in the PTA meeting _yesterday!_ But another time, you seem like you had a night.'

Her smile — the likes of a snake which had just locked its fangs into the prey's jugular — had toppled Beth over the edge. As if she had any moral ground... her nudes were all over Dean's phone.

Beth had slammed the boot at the reminder, plastering an equally venomous smile. 'Yeah, I sure did. _I'll tell Dean you said hi._ '

Triumphant, Beth saw the blush rise from Elaine's chest up to her chemical-blonde hairline before she'd marched away pumping the stupid weight.

She did even better when she opened the door and her house was spot clean, everything fairly back in place, the bloodied rug was gone, no evidence left to tell the story.

Days were real good when she had time to sew a comforter out of Sara's old baby clothes and embroidered quotes out of children's books, days like that she would just take a little to help her mind to be blissfully blank.

Days like even despite all the challenges — i.e. pen caps — she got to hear her sister say things were finally starting not to suck for her. Sleeping with you married ex was shit-uation, if you asked her. But she had bitten her tongue. Who was she to share unprincipled advice after all? She'd just squeezed her hand instead, finding a chance to say the things she didn't say enough.

"I love you, _Hellion_."

Annie had chuckled at the nickname, "I can't even remember the last time you called me that."

Deidre Marks, Dee Dee to friends and family — daughters included... you'd first catch Dee Dee out and about with her evening hair-rollers before you'd catch _anyone_ calling her _Mom_ — had baptized Annie as a Hellion since the first time she'd kicked her belly.

Funny how the acrid smell of cigarette seemed to overrun her nostrils just at the thought of her mother. The Marlboro golds along with the iconic 1946 red velvet shade of _Bésame_ lipstick - always stamping the white filters - had been Dee Dee's lifestyle statement.

 _"She?"_ Beth had asked in wonder, feeling her little unborn sibling kicks in awe. "I'm going to have a sister?"

Dee Dee had laughed through a thick wave of smoke, taking a sip from her _spiked_ coffee before confirming, "Oh, it's a girl alright. And a _Hellion_ she is."

Those were the early days — or at least what she remembered as the early days — but already by then, the bottle of gin was never too far from the cigarette pack.

She could still feel the studying stare that Dee Dee gave her while taking another puff from her Marlboro. She could still hear the exact cadence of her mother's voice along with the furious taps as she crushed the flaming tip on the overloaded ashtray. She could still define the shape the cloud of ash made winding down the floor. "She's not going to be like you and me, Elizabeth. She's like Daddy. They kick a lot but in the end, they are just reckless. _They needed us to protect them for themselves."_

"When is Deansie coming home?" Annie's question tore her away from the past.

"Tomorrow."

"What are you gonna say to him?" Beth just shook her head, her sister's worried glance fell heavy on her shoulders. "You still divorcing him, right?"

"I don't know if I can."

"Hey…" Annie grabbed her hand and squeezed tight. "I love you too. I'm here. Together, yes?"

But their mother had been wrong. And perhaps in return, she had protected Annie too much, smothering her the best she could. Her sister was reckless, yes, but in a way just reckless enough. In the end, it hadn't been Annie who needed protection from herself.

Beth - just like Dee Dee - felt this need to be needed. They had to go the extra mile when no one had asked them to. It was Beth - and again, just like Dee Dee - that had a problem with addiction.

It was a cocoon. A comforting trap which Beth had dangerously hit, again and again, until she'd broken out of the chrysalis. And despite the momentary feeling of weightlessness, there were no pretty wings to slowly unfold and fly her away.

In the end, she was just left empty, exposed. Weak. It was getting harder and harder to pretend otherwise.

It was the days when she had to pretend... those ones were pretty bad.

Days like the one she had to tell her kids that their dad got shot and their little scared faces made her guilty conscience fly to the roof.

Days where she had to worry about visits from Agent Turner only to realize that the boring Suzy-Homemaker act was not gonna work on him any longer… that being _sorry don't cut it,_ as he so eloquently had put it. She ended up confirming what he already knew, a different kind of high rubbing on her while she threw the angry words at his face:

 _"I did your job for you!_ I gave you a gift, I handed you that gang with a big bow around it. You should be thanking me. And you know what my mama used to say? _You get what you get and you don't get upset._ "

But some days… some days she simply couldn't bear it.

Days like when she had to welcome her husband back home and pretend she could shape back into the mould in which she'd lived most of her life when in reality she was just a pulp, slowly leaking from under the threadbare edges. Those were the days she was sure there was nothing left of her but feeble offerings.

" _What happened to the stop sign? Somebody's going to get hurt."_

Yup, and it was going to be her, or someone she cared about. It was just a question of time until Dean was out of his post-surgical funk and back on his feet and to his threats.

That was the day she stopped sleeping. Some nights she couldn't even lay in her own bed without breaking into cold sweats, couldn't look at that butcher block without having to hold her breath or cross the kitchen floor without stumbling on her own feet. It wasn't _just_ nightmares, the images so vivid and tactile, she was sure she'd gone back in time.

Days like those, it seemed she would never have enough in her system. She would shave hours between doses unable to leave the space of perpetual suspension that the pills granted, her worries ebbing and the pleasant sensations rippling.

The final knock had been the day at the park. Just the sight of the black Cadillac made her stomach drop.

"What's up? You missed me?"

It wasn't like she wasn't expecting to see him again — she had agreed to clean his money after all — But something had changed that night. She could feel it in her bone marrow. It was tarred to her soul. It hurt _physically_ to pretend she was completely indifferent.

The stale taste of her lie still lingered in her mouth, "No."

The corner of his mouth had quirked for a brief second. Enough to have her doubting if it had been real. And then he had been back to the coldness she never thought herself able to endure again, _requiring_ for her to _take care_ of their _mutual friend._

"That's insane."

"Is it? Why?"

That conspicuous smile said everything. _Oh, darlin', I know exactly what you're capable of._

"Because we don't do that."

"Besides, don't you have anyone more experienced in that particular arena." Annie had suggested alarmed.

"Sure, but it ain't on him. It's on you."

"Rio! You said five minutes." Her heart had stopped when Emma came running towards them.

"You're right, bunny. I did. Hey, what does your mommy tell you when you make a big 'ol mess?"

Without hesitation, Emma hissed the answer through her missing front teeth. "That I got to clean it up."

Those deep brown eyes went on forever, not a modicum of tolerance in them as he repeated the words. _"That you got to clean it up."_

"Aight no more grown-up talk, bunny. Let's get you on that swing, yeah?" He said carrying a giggling Emma over his shoulder, "That's for you."

In that moment she knew she didn't have a choice, even before she opened the paper bag and the pearl handle gun glinted in the sunlight, both intimation and edict. She had no choice but to kill a person. No choice but accept him in Emma's life whether she liked the way he'd do it or not.

Later that night, Dean threw his first fit since he was back home. He demanded to know where she'd been, making sure she remembered all the things he had to say to the FBI.

It reminded her how little control she had over any aspect of her life. _Everyone_ and _everything_ was pulling at her strings, nothing but a puppet doing everyone's else bidding and there was _nothing_ she could do about it. All of a sudden the walls of her bedroom seemed to close in, crushing her, burying her.

 _She couldn't breathe._

Her chest contracted so tightly it was making it impossible. The deeper she tried to inhale the worse it got.

 _She had to get out of there._

Hyperventilating, she ran to the french doors, busting them wide open. The cold night breeze relieved the pyretic hot flashes and glided a little easier through her narrowed lungs. Taking deep controlled breaths, she'd paced through the deck to the rhythm of the loud drum punishing her ears.

She'd avoided the place like the plague exactly like she'd avoided looking at the wicker patio set during her stroll. It should be impossible - she'd Febrezed all evidence of that night - but somehow it still smelled like him, like them.

It made everything worse, not being able to forget. Emma was the intrinsic reminder she couldn't avoid. And everywhere she looked there was a piece of him.

He had been so right. She couldn't escape _it._ She couldn't pretend _it_ wasn't there. And surely she couldn't hide from _it_.

It all started with that ill-intentioned kiss. The punishing touch of his lips, a brush of tongue, a longing for kindness, but it had been the thumb over her busted bottom lip that had sealed her fate… _"I know what you are."_

Bloodied bandages on her kitchen counters, a sliver of golden flesh, ragged scars under her fingertips... _"Does it still hurt?"_

Dark eyes roving over her body, feline strides over her bedroom floor, a stealthy strike… _"Oh, baby, what you think this is, little league? That you get a trophy just for playin'?"_

Sharp teeth on her neck, soft lips on her chin dimple, her back pressed against the bathroom door… _"Come on, Ma. I know you loved every second of it."_

It almost ended with the glint of a golden gun sliding over the mahogany dinner table… _"I ain't gonna kill nobody. Nah, man, you are."_

It all started with the sparkle that turned into wildfire. It seared her wounds but branded her all the same, burning out of her control, leaving nothing behind but destruction. But there was still one last thing she could do... she still had one choice: End the fuel.

That the night she _consciously_ thought of killing herself.

She'd gone as far as filling the tub and lining up a bunch of different medicine bottles on the vanity, the fresh razor blade at an arm's reach.

She was knee deep into the water when she saw the action figure floating. It wasn't supposed to be there... one of the kids must have been playing there-

First, her stomach dropped, and it was like she was back at the amusement park last summer riding that hateful pirate ship with her boys all over again.

Then it landed, producing the same effect of a belly flop onto concrete. And she would know what a landing like that felt like, she had a fair share of them in her early years as the neighbourhood daredevil.

The thoughts hit her at a million miles per minute jostling each other out of the way:

Her children. _What if they were the ones to find her in a pool of blood?_

Annie and Ruby. _She was already walking through hell, was it worth it to condemn anyone else to it? The least she could do was take Boomer with her._

Then she'd remembered what he'd said:

 _I can't lose you._

 _I need you._

 _I love you._

That coarse drawl like a defibrillator to her flatlined heart. The words a whole new kinda drug.

 _Hope._

She'd jumped out of the tub as if the lukewarm water was boiling her skin yet ice daggers shot through her spine, shivers taking jurisdiction over her whole body. Trembling, she'd pulled the bathtub plug. The whole suicide idea was sucked from the marrow of her bones like water through drain she'd just popped open.

But _hope_ didn't last her through the night. That night she took so much that she became semi-conscious. It was almost like she was sleeping without the disadvantages of sleep, like nightmares. It was so good she did it the night after that, and then the night after that night, then the next and the next. It soon became pretty clear, even to her, that she'd lost the ability to make a conscious choice.

She was still recovering from one of the episodes when he'd climbed in her car. She couldn't even recall the drive to school, so numb she didn't even feel the pedal under her feet.

 _You shouldn't be driving._

It was the same tiny voice that would scream at her to stop in moments of clarity. She never listened, the messages always overridden by the compulsion. 

His dark figure swooped into the passenger seat, making her pulse race, pumping blood into her numb extremities. "Friend's giving his deposition in the morning."

"What the hell?" Stern on keeping herself decathect, Beth quickly mimicked him, glancing straight ahead, puzzling words together in her haze until she could make sense out of them, "He's not my friend."

"So, how you gonna do it?"

The shaky breath that wheezed through her dehydrated lips drew his eyes to her. "I don't know."

"Maybe you should figure that out, huh?"

She had kept her silence for a moment, looking straight ahead and spotting Kenny's tall frame in the waiting crowd. "I can't just murder someone. I'm not a psychopath."

"Not easy being the boss, huh?"

She licked her lips, focusing on her boy, what brought her there. "I gotta pick up my kids now."

"Oh, yeah..." He leaned in, his scent filling her nostrils. "You gotta hustle if you wanna make it to the Scouts, huh?"

God, he smelled so good that she couldn't avoid a quick sweep through the corner of her eyes. Big mistake. He looked even better. Elbow resting in the middle console, chin propped in his palm, the unruly eyebrows she always had the urge to fix even in more disordered than usual, the thick bristles compacted in funny places by his deep furrow.

Her lips twitched with the yearning to smile. It didn't matter how many pills she took, how much she wanted to be numbed, how much she wanted to hate him, she couldn't distance herself from what he stirred in her. She quickly averted her gaze back to the road, moving up another spot in the line of cars.

"How high are you right now?"

She turned slowly to him, just louring. It was a question. Her brain had registered that. But she didn't quite comprehend. "What?"

In a zone, she followed the long tan finger that came under her chin, tilting it up so he could look into her eyes, "You're zonked the fuck out."

"You have no right-" The dark orbs pegged her to the deception. Mortified, she tore away from his grasp, her voice fluttering barely audible, "I-I'm not high."

The lie lingered between them for an eternal second, his expression was neutral almost blank, but the seething… that she could feel it in her bones. She watched his hand turn the key, the engine quickly revved into silence. One by one, her fingers released the tight grasp on the steering wheel, fists balling over her legs.

She opened her mouth to deny the truth again, the honk of the driver behind them filled her cue along with the daring arch of his brow. Rio's sigh filled the after silence saying more than any word could. _He knew._

The volunteer crossing the children waved the sign in front of her. And there it was again… _STOP._

The driver behind honked again making her jump on her seat, or maybe it was his arm brushing her side while he reached for her seatbelt clasp, either way, her heart jumped to her mouth.

"I'll drive. Sleep it off in the back."

An unfounded pique of rage cramped her chest, the superiority tilt to his voice setting her teeth on edge. She thought of telling him to fuck off, but only for a second. Then she'd hauled her ass through the middle console.

The drive home didn't take as long as usual - even the traffic seemed to clear for _His royal nibs -_ and was less awkward than it should have been. It only proved how inadequate she was.

He explained his presence with a simple _your mommy wasn't feeling well._ Then he was bombarded with childish disputes about cartoons, fidgets-spinners and whatnots, the kind of one-sided conversation that would drive most adults to insanity, but not him. He blended along, using that same tone she'd often seen him use on Emma, firm when needed but liquifying into something sweet amidst the kids' silly remarks. And they drank his every word like it was their favourite apple juice - the abominating sweetened kind she liked to keep out of her fridge.

 _She hated it, hated him._ Hated that Rio had the same easiness with her kids that Dean had. For them it came naturally, while her biggest fear was being anything less than perfect.

All that she ever wanted was for her kids to have a domestic hothouse, make sure they didn't have to grow up like she had. And there she was, on the nod, impersonating a twisted version of her own disastrous mother.

She never felt more like a fraud. Before she could handle it because she always knew she took really good care of her kids, but now… She couldn't even do that.

When the last of them waved goodbye and set their little feet through the front door of the house she'd finally dared a word. "I haven't- I never… I swear, it never happened before."

Rio looked at her, all the warmth the little laughs had left behind seemed to evaporate in the instant. "I don't fuckin' care what you do recreationally, Elizabeth. Take all the pills you want. Smoke whatever the fuck you want. You can stick your head in a bucket and sniff bleach for all I care... but you so much put _my kid_ in danger again, I'll do what you accused me of tryin' to do. I'll take her from you." The chilly warning in his voice sunk deeper than a blade, _"Do it tonight."_

And he was gone. But there was nowhere for her to go. How was she supposed to stop when she was spiralling out of control? How was she supposed to stop when there was no end in near sight? Even if she found her ground, she was bound for a crash. There was no safety net awaiting her at the bottom, it had just stepped out of her car.

The pearl handle gun had felt so light compared the golden one she'd held in her dining room. Oddly, her hand shook even more. The click of the hammer cocking rushed through her like a kick of adrenaline.

Annie saw her hesitation and instigated her. _Don't let him talk. Just do it. Just shoot him._

Fear had a distinctive smell, one that she recognized, and was radiating from Boomer's pores and lining her nostrils. It wasn't what had made her teeter, on feet and soul. Nope.

She was sure she could do it. She was capable of pressing that trigger with that man looking her in the eye. That was what scared her, what had made her blurt out the words.

 _"You are not going to give that deposition. You're ratting out a gang. You think they're going to let you talk? How much? Come on, everyone's got a number. But you got to disappear for good."_

Escaping from the ugly monster rearing head through the abyss cost her 20,000 dollars, 24 hours and rhubarb with Annie. A fair price to keep what was left of your soul intact, if you'd ask her.

She found herself selling furniture on Craigslist, crashing the utility bills piggy-bank and another late mortgage repayment hanging over her head. Ruby even taking a payday loan. They literally scraped the bottom of the pot, still, it wasn't enough.

Funny thing when she literally had the key to Rio's Monopoly-Bank. Wholeheartedly convinced it was another test - or worse - one of the games he designed to torture her, she didn't dare to touch it, she couldn't afford another mistake.

She was low-key panicking and five minutes from throwing her common sense away and driving to that storage locker when Annie called.

 _"I'm not stealing someone else's car."_

 _"Yeah, you're not shooting anybody either, are you?"_

 _"I made a decision in the moment."_

 _"Well, you made it for all of us and guess what? It was the wrong one. Next time, I hold the gun."_

She took the keys. And when she asked an almost-back-on-his-feet Dean for advice on where she could sell a car for parts, it quickly threw him into one of his post-op _tantrums._

"We're not selling our car."

"It's not our car," Beth had assured grabbing a cup from the kitchen cabinet.

"Whose is it?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter. I don't have a lot of time, so…"

"Who do you think you are? Vin Diesel all of a sudden?" Dean spat, trying to unscrew the O.J. bottle one-handed, "You're doing this for him. I'm not an idiot, Beth."

She didn't exactly have the time to deal with his bruised ego. For weeks she'd been playing doormat to each and every one of his whims and she certainly had baked more than enough apple pie to fill that hole. Neither did she need another annotation in his little black book to be used against her later on.

"I'm just trying to keep us above water. You're just going to have to trust me, okay?"

 _"Trust you?_ I have a bullet lodged half-inch from my spine because you can't stop seeing this guy."

"Dean…"

"Oh! But I'm supposed to trust you!"

It went right to her guilty conscience seeing him struggling with the simplest of tasks, "Here. Let me…"

Dean waved the container away from her, 'I'm supposed to trust that you have a great idea what to do…'

Beth grabbed the juice, her voice rising above his, " _Dean…_ let me help you."

"I got it, thank you!" Beth froze at the anger seeping from him. Her hands clasped like claws as the container slid through them. "I SAID I'VE GOT IT!"

She saw it coming, but not in time to react. The plastic caved in the shape of her cheekbone. She swayed slightly on her feet. Orange juice splashed all over the kitchen, wended down her neck, cold and sticky in between the valley of her breasts.

Dean threw the crushed container over the butcher block. The silence would have been deafening if not for the drip of orange juice trickling from the ceiling lamp. They both stared at it, watching the pool of liquid expand over the treated wood. She didn't even think to breathe until Dean ran a hand over his hair.

"I—" He sighed, "You should talk to Dominic in Service. He's been around."

"Okay." She murmured, grabbing some kitchen towels and drying herself on her way to the door.

"If you're planning on stealing a car for parts, go for the Honda."

Beth teetered with her hand on the handle. "What about a Tesla?"

Apparently, Teslas were like giant iPads, impossible to sell for parts. Their predicament was quickly solved by Ruby. On her fancy dinner with Stan, the valet had swapped their car with someone else's, mistakes happened all the time, they just had to say the Tesla wasn't theirs and va-va-voom, crappy Honda on the way.

"I gotta ask you something." Ruby had said as they waited for the valet. "Is Dean good with you now?"

Beth slanted her eyes, "I mean, in what way…"

"With the cheating and lying… all of it. Are you ever going to look at him the same way you used to?"

"It's different."

Ruby sighed, "That's not an answer."

"When Dean cheated and lied, he did it for Dean. When _Beth_ cheated and lied, _she_ did it for herself. You did it for your family."

Ruby took in her words before speaking, "You know I was just upset when I said those things to you. I know you did it for your family too."

"Not all of it." Beth reaffirmed softly. "Besides, I don't think I've ever looked at Dean the way you look at Stan."

"Damn!" Ruby muttered surprised.

"Yeah." _That way_ of looking was reflected back to her on the darkest eyes she'd ever beheld. The Tesla's unique headlights made way up the ramp indicating it was show time.

They got the money, she just shouldn't have trusted that wormy lying weasel into disappearing. Just like Rio didn't believe her studied light-switch google search nor the supposed midnight sail through Detroit's River with a dead body.

"Man, that's a hell of a story."

"Thank you." She placed the Dan's Burgers paper bag containing the gun right next to his Converse high-top sneakers.

 _And people say all the shady stuff happens under the bleachers._ Beth waved back at Kenny splashing for her attention while he'd fumbled with the bag for a second.

"Yeah, I just wish it was true." His voice had rumbled through the bleachers making her straighten her back upright. "Y'see, you can't shoot someone if don't use any bullets."

"Hey, mom! I'm gonna dive!" Kenny's shout made her surge from the pit of fear she'd fallen in. It didn't help when Rio shot up bag in hand and leaned above her, hand squeezing her shoulder.

"Oh, you should watch." His deep voice was so quiet and gentle that his threat sounded like a melodious verse, "This will be good."

Not two seconds after he'd left, her phone rang. The hospital. Dean had the smart idea to go to work and get his stitches ruptured. She barely had time to dodge the vehicle coming from the cul-de-sac.

It was the oddest thing… not that long ago she had made her peace with death, placed a gun under her chin and a finger on the trigger, a row of pills alongside a sharp razor and a full bathtub, both attempts failure for different motives, but she hadn't been afraid.

Perhaps it was that Rio's words had been still fresh in her mind or that the choice had been taken from her hand by a speeding car, but there was nothing like unexpected fear for one's life to have an epiphany.

That the empty pole might have been her worst enemy, but the stop sign was her osmosis. All its appearances prompting to something that was wrong in her life, something she had to fix, something she had to stop.

Everything was so out of her control that she didn't know what to do anymore. And it wasn't like she exactly knew how to ask for help. She never really had to. She'd been on her own since she was a kid, making ends meet and taking care of Annie when their dad took off and her mother conserved herself in liquor and smokes.

The first and last time she tried to seek help it had been in the shape of a husband. At the time Dean had been the only road in sight, familiar and reliable, but that straight line hadn't exactly head where she expected. Every turn she tried to make ever since only lead to more trouble.

The truth was she couldn't rely on anyone else but herself.

Stealing a stop sign might have been her most ridiculous idea yet, but if she fixed it, maybe she could fix everything else, maybe putting that stop sign up was the start to the end. The drill whirled, coercing the last screw in place. She gave the metal a good shake making sure it was secure before stepping down the ladder.

She admired her work from the road for a moment. _There, she'd fixed the problem when no one would. Now she would stop._

It wasn't any kind of particular movement that gave his presence away, after all, he was as stealthy as night-time. But she felt that _tug_ to her chest when he was nearby, then there he was across the road leaning on the hood of his Cadillac, hands tucked in his bomber jacket, all in black, blending with its surroundings like a creature of the night.

And there she was watching him watching her, tethered to the alluring obscurity in a heartbeat. He didn't budge but she succumbed to the invisible pull. The first step was hesitant, her throat parched and her dry lips needing the moist on the tip of her tongue.

 _How long had he been watching her? Why was he watching her?_ _Wasn't he tired of the games?_

She had never been so tired in her whole life. The soft soles of her slippers squelched as she treaded through the soaked tar, the grey yarn tassels sewed to the topline bobbed with the gained momentum.

 _What did he want? Torture her? Intimidate her into doing what he wanted? Didn't he know she was past fear?_

She stopped a step away from him, suspended by that unravelling dark gaze. It had to end one way or another. The words left her mouth like a liberating a weight, "I can't do this anymore."

"What's that?"

"The lying… I lie to my family. To my friends. To the FBI. To you… I can't even keep it straight. And I can't hide. Not from you. And I can't kill somebody either, so-"

She shrugged trying to shake away the wetness that had been collecting on her lower eyelids. He said nothing but those slanted eyes studied her, made her vulnerable, weakened her. By sheer will, she was able to keep the tears contained in her eyes, but not from her voice.

"I'm just so tired." The frailed timbre ended in a miserable sigh that somehow granted her the strength to keep going, "I don't think I've gotten a full night's sleep in over two months… knowing you is like having a newborn."

She made the step that separated them. Her body stamped to his, she reached for the gun she knew he carried on his back. He didn't stop her nor those dark orbs leave hers as he slowly rose from the hood.

She took in his handsome face. Her fingertips itching to trace the thickness of his eyebrows, to shape the outline of his lips. Her mouth parted, her tongue swelling with the desire to taste his skin one last time, yearning a final trail through the inked lines on his throat.

"I'm not a killer, so-" The gun hovered between their chests, offered by the barrel, the pearl handle completely free for his taking. "You do what you have to do."

Under the limited street lighting, the gun glinted for what seemed an eternity until he finally took the pearl handle. Beth closed her eyes letting out a hearty breath as the tepid metal slid effortlessly through her loose grip.

There was no sound except the murmur of traffic in the distance and the night critters chirping away even in the wintry humidity. She waited, for almost as long as she'd waited for him to take the gun. But the distinctive click never came, the metal muzzle never reached her skin. She waited until the wait was unbearable and the sound of nothing became everything. She waited until she realized he was waiting for her.

Her eyes coincided back to the eternal duskiness of his, her voice doughy, more plead than query, "Aren't you going to kill me?"

He cocked his head to the side as if considering the possibility. There was another long pause before his eyes briefly found her lips, before his ringed pinky fixed the stubborn strand of hair that was always predisposed to cover her eye. A familiar bolt of want hasted beneath her skin even before the coarse brush of fingertips down the helix of her ear.

"I'm gonna teach you."

His voice shrouded her as soft as his touch, careful, as if he knew anything harsher would break her.

The silence hung momentarily, heavy and foreby revealing. Breathing in the wet scent of earth and grass, she took the time to rearrange her thoughts. But it was impossible, the scent of him loomed in the back of her nostrils, almost like static, making her body hum. Impossible to tear away from the intensity of that gaze, impossible to sweep away the meaning behind it.

And he called _her_ naive? Had he not figured out she was a total fraud yet? Hadn't he seen how damaged she was already?

"I can't be what you want."

If she hadn't over analyzed every line on that face - countless times - she would have probably missed the slight lift to the corner of his mouth before he darted to the Cadillac's passenger side.

"The question here is what do you want to be, Elizabeth."

He held the door open for her, an invitation, a demand, she didn't know. Still, she took that step.

He waited patiently, even when she doubted again, biting into lower lip. What could he be possibly want to teach her?

"If this is another one of your games-"

"We are way past games, Elizabeth. This is reciprocity."

"And then? Will it be over?"

"Then we're even."

Reciprocity without trust was like climbing into a boat without a life-jacket when you can't swim for shit and hope you won't drown. It was dumb, even to her standards, but then again, what was the alternative?


	18. Quid Pro Quo Pt2

"I can't be what you want."

The corner of his mouth twitched before he could control the urge to laugh, "The question here is what do you want to be, Elizabeth."

The question that wasn't a question caught her off guard. Her reluctance, crashing like waves through the silence, registered all over her tense stance, printed like bold letters by the fists clenching at her sides.

Her chest heaved and he could almost make out the soft intake of air. When she took a step forward, it was as hesitant as the first one that night, even though her brow was furrowed like written resolve. He smiled again despite himself. It was short-lived and scant, but still, it was a smile.

She was about to enter the car but teetered for a second, biting onto her lower lip before the words jostled out of her mouth, "If this is another one of your games-"

"We are way past games, Elizabeth. This is reciprocity."

"And then? Will it be over?"

"Then we're even."

She lifted her chin, that pesky dimple jutted towards him, blue eyes slitting, reminding him of a cat - sceptical and wary. It ticked him off making him close the door with way more strength than needed. She always doubted him, questioned him, never trusting he only spoke the truth.

Her seat belt clicked just before his. She was sluggish like every move she made drained her further. He wondered again if the husband had something to do with the way she was so guarded... if twenty years of deceptions was the reason she was so comfortable prostrated on her bed of lies.

But he wasn't her husband.

He might have played her a little, disagreed with her, and true - sometimes been outright cruel, but he never lied to her. They would be even after she finished what she started. But over? Was to be seen.

He drove in utter silence for around 20 minutes musing in his thoughts and she in hers, the rev of the powerful motor their only companion in solitude. It was funny how the silences between them were never awkward, even when he was pissed, they were pacifying, cozy. His line of thought was suddenly interrupted by the bob of her head. She had fallen asleep.

She tossed back to the headrest, face towards him. She looked - and sounded - exactly like she'd said - _tired._ The dark circles under her eyes spoke for themselves, even more than earlier that day at the pool where her usual curled to perfection golden locks had been a deflated tangle and her painted brick-red lips had done nothing more than emphasizing a pallid ensemble.

At first he'd simply dismissed the unusual unkempt appearance to a couple bad nights of sleep but this was different.

Different from anything he'd seen from her - always luminous, wearing something delicate and tactful like hiding behind that wall of decorum was gonna make him forget that her socks mismatch.

Especially different from the way he'd picture her in his mind - Smiling _just_ _a little,_ embarrassed by the mess that always seemed to find a way to surround her. The way her lips crescented _just enough_ so that her snaggled canines would show and that adorable dimple on the right corner of her mouth would form. The way it was _just enough_ to disarm him.

It was all so different from this weariness about her. Cheeks sunken, steep with the kind of exhaustion that would settle in the bones and refract into the soul.

And it was almost too much, seeing her so vulnerable, all he wanted to do was cradle her in his arms and veil her sleep.

He did the next best thing he could do at that moment. He missed his exit and kept driving so she didn't have to wake up just yet. Wondering if he was doing the right thing here, wondering if he hadn't pushed her too far already. Wondering how much he was to blame for the oxy in her system… how much he was to blame for that gun under her chin.

He'd looked into people's eyes when they knew they were about to take their last breath and he'd seen desperation, anger, mostly fear but what he'd seen in hers... He shook his head trying to shake the feeling of drowning in that ocean of despair, trying to erase that settled resignation that still haunted him.

Then seeing her like that in the car, completely out of it, putting her kids in immediate danger, it was so out of character, so adverse to her nature, to the things she'd said and done. It wasn't until later that he understood why he'd lashed out at her - _fear._ He was afraid.

In a way, he'd always been terrified of her, of the things she stirred in him, of the things he'd do for her and all the things he wouldn't. But this time it wasn't fear of her, not of his feelings or her rejection, but _for_ her. It was like she had his gun under his chin all over again but this time he couldn't simply force the gun aside, he wasn't sure if he could help her.

He was all about focus, angles, outcomes, this was never in the results he anticipated, so far from where he'd estimated the landing. Just the possibility that he'd driven her into that kind of path was more than he could chew.

All he'd ever wanted was for her to be aware of the consequences, aware that everything had a price.

That it doesn't matter what you are, the reasons you do what you do, the doing makes you dirty.

Show her that even when you tried to keep things separated they weren't untouchable by the ugliness that came from the choices you made.

Give her a memory that would live forever with her, a shadow that would be lurking every time she glanced over her shoulder. Shooting her husband was supposed to do the trick but it backfired when she was the one to pull the trigger instead.

He'd been so sure they were cut from the same cloth that he'd forgotten there were still differences and that she hadn't born into it like he did.

So keen that she'd proved apt and resourceful times and times again, that he'd forgotten how long it takes for skin to cure into leather.

So upset that he couldn't stop hurting every time he saw her that he'd failed to notice that something was very wrong until he saw it with his own eyes.

He should have known something was up the moment she turned the gun to herself but then he saw her laughing in the park with her girlfriends like it all was peachy… Livid that she seemed not to take his warnings seriously, he'd let a wall of anger build, barring his common sense. He was never in steady waters when it came to her; he failed every time to analyze her, to predict her, to understand her.

Nevertheless, there was no reverse button. His mistakes were made and done. However, he couldn't let her go with a slap on the wrist. There was too much at risk and she needed to understand that ultimately there were some roads that went one-way only.

She wanted it over... fine. He wouldn't object, hell, he was paving the road for her, but the travelling, that had to be on her. There was a good chance that he wouldn't be there to hold her hand next time. And he was sure that there would be a next time.

She could deny all she wanted but _out_ was hardly an option once you had the taste of it. Not only she had the taste for it but she had the noggin to go with it too. It was what entailed from this life she hadn't learned yet.

Maybe he was wrong. He'd been wrong about her before; maybe she could stay away. God, a part of him desperately wanted her away.

Either way, killing Peterson was what took for her to concede so he'd take the risk of a crash-course. The one thing he was absolutely sure was that she would land on her feet. She was one of the most resilient persons he'd ever met.

For someone as plucky and headstrong as her - and he himself - the vulnerability that she'd shown him today was considered weakness. But her vulnerability articulated as truth and displayed like courage. Truth and courage weren't always easy or pleasant but they were never weakness.

He was walking a thin line between backing her against a wall or startling her away. Elusive as she was, if she felt threatened she would pivot into her cocoon and out of his reach. And he couldn't show too much sympathy either, she wouldn't take pity. Mrs. Boland was extremely proud and as stubborn as a mule.

She also drove him nuts most of the time, had more baggage than he thought possible to carry, brought nothing but chaos to his organized and meticulous life, stole from him, lied to him 70 percent of the time, tried to lock him away, hurt him ways no one else could… but fuck, tell it to the ache in his chest, tell it to the yearning in his gut… it made absolutely no difference to his completely blind and thoroughly masochist heart.

 _I can't be what you want._

It had been almost impossible not to laugh at her words. Didn't she know she already was _everything_ he wanted?

Rio sighed, popping his knuckles against the steering wheel and rolling his neck until it cracked. From the corner of his eye he watched her move on the car seat somewhat restless. He reached for the wool overcoat on the back seat and draped it gingerly over her shoulders.

She purred, almost automatically, mumbling something that sounded very much like - _You always smell so good_ \- while nuzzling at the fabric. He felt his lips twitch into a smile as she tucked the collar under her chin.

Not wanting to wake her up just yet, he took another lap around the abandoned industrial area, stealing glances at her sleeping form. The way she softly meddled against the crisp dark leather seat didn't hide how out of place she should be in those momma jammies, the way she was so bright in the darkness, the way she shouldn't belong but somehow did.

Ineffable, sometimes it felt like he was losing his mind. The way she'd kissed him... so tentatively, the way she took him... so unreservedly— For a moment, a lifetime, a second, he could have sworn that they were on the same page. But she'd pushed him away, saying that he was nothin' but an itch she had to scratch.

He tried to do the same. For years he tried. He said to himself that she was nothin', meant nothin', even when he'd sought her in every woman and failed to find her.

He tried to deny her in his heart when she was on the flip-side of every thought, revolving around his every action, the cause to every consequence. And he couldn't. Always coming and going, driven by her pull, drifting in his own anger.

Rio sighed again, bringing a hand down his jaw as it would quash said anger. As if it would stop him from reeling in the little piece of heaven that came through that hell.

Saying those three little words out loud was cathartic... liberating. The kind of freedom that came from acceptance. He loved her. Now he just had to learn to live with it.

He circled the block and took a left. It took another 15 minutes till he reached the warehouse that more or less became the unofficial place where his boys hang out, the same where she had delivered the van and thrown the keys to his face. Usually, a few of the crew mingled 'till late, by the number of cars parked outside tonight was no exception.

He flashed his headlights three times. Dags' head squeezed through a crack on the side door and after a few seconds the heavy roller-door loudly hissed up. Beth stirred, her eyes opened briefly but she didn't quite wake up. He parked inside, rolled the window down and instructed Dags for the new boy to setup some targets for shooting.

It almost hurt having to wake her up. It wasn't like she was having the most comfortable sleep in her life but by all means, it seemed like the first real rest she was having in a while. His fingers brushed the golden strands from her face again, fingertips skimming over her furrowed brow and down her refined nose as she opened her eyes.

They stared at each other, lingering in-between the realm of dreams and reality, one of those moments where time was nonexistent, a fleeting bit of truth where words weren't needed, where lies dissolved.

"Where are we?" Her voice was gravelly and worn by sleep.

The pads of his fingers slipped from the tip of her nose, dragging her lower lip down, brushing past her chin and were balled into his fist, maybe like that he could savour her feel a little longer.

When he didn't answer after a few seconds she fired another question, "How long was I asleep?"

"About one hour. The Cadillac's seats ain't too bad, but you ought to be bent."

With a groan she pushed herself to a straight sit up, rolling the wool of his overcoat between her fingers, surprised it was there. "The leather was softer back in the day," She muttered dimly.

He arched an inquisitive eyebrow, "You have fond memories of a Caddy's backseat?"

The only memory Beth had of her mother's '79 Eldorado backseat wasn't exactly a fond one. A toddler Annie squealing while she dragged the neighbours' trash cans on the melting asphalt, the scorching summer's break that Ruby taught her to drive stick after yet another of her mother's gin-benders and an empty pantry. At barely 13, it was the day she understood that despite Dee Dee's promises things would never change. And although by then she was a woman in the sense of body, it had been her break in innocence, the day she put her first concrete wall up.

But those memories were none of his business. Beth plastered a shit-eating grin on her face, "Maybe I do."

"You know you talk in your sleep." He said brutally casual.

The abrupt change of topic disarmed her for a second only. Her denial was quiet but quick, "No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do." He drawled softly.

"Well, what did I say?" She asked unconvinced.

The trademark half-smile bared his white teeth smugly, "Oh, I don't want to mortify you, sweetheart."

The flush ignited in her cheeks and quickly consumed her whole face, "Y-you-you're just... I-I didn't say anything."

He looked straight ahead to bite his smile, picturing the pinched defiance of her mouth, "I guess you'll never know for sure, huh."

A huff wheezed through her teeth, and even aware they had an audience his smile grew broader.

"What are we doing here?" She asked resigned.

"So many questions…" He drawled already opening the door, "I'mma think you wanna play 20 questions all over again, ma."

She mimicked his movements, getting out of the car with a stiff back, from the sleeping position and tension alike, "Do you always have to be such a dick?"

Rio leaned over the car's shiny roof, placing his chin over interlaced veiny hands, answering with the same words and smug tone she used early, _"Maybe I do."_

She rolled her eyes at him for the opposite side, "I'm presuming it's congenital."

"You'd know all 'bout it, huh." His smirk teemed with boyish charm, liquid black eyes gleaming playful underneath the long lashes, and before she realized a smile touched the corners of her mouth, the snaggle canines fleeting under her lips. Then just as quickly it was gone.

Something painful winded in his gut. It was so easy to glimpse past everything, perceive what they could have been. Sometimes it was so close to the surface he could feel his fingertips prickle with the desire to grasp it.

He was grateful for the interruption when Carlos made an appearance, halting as soon as he noticed Beth. Rio was graced with a scowl that went as high and deep as Carlos' tattooed shaved head conceded. Rio sighed, sure he was about to hear some.

Beth's soft footsteps faltered beside him. Her pale hand emerged from under the coat's lapels for an awkward small wave towards Carlos, "Hey."

He just nodded and although his expression was neutral, he looked like he might pounce at any second. Carlos was threatening even in an inert state - an innate part of his job as the muscle and his right hand. Half of it consisted of intimidation, the other half required a precise combination of haughtiness and deference.

The deference quarter was being ignored right now. Rio turned to Beth, "I'll be with you in a sec, Dags will show you the way."

Perhaps another night she might have defied him but not tonight. There was a scuttled defeat to the shoulders underneath his coat as she sternly followed Dags, one he thought gone when he'd roused her in the car.

"You brought her here?" Carlos' voice drew him from his thoughts.

"Don't look at me like that, she needs practice. Believe me, I've seen potatoes with better aim."

The way he stroked one of his meaty paws through his beard was telling enough. No one was buying his shiz. "She ain't be needing to aim if the barrel's end is at the bastard's head."

Rio pressed his lips into a thin line, "You know it's about more than this one guy."

"Yeah, 'cuz she fucked up."

"Yeah, I kno—"

"What are you thinkin' man?" Carlos interrupted, "You waitin' for her to fuck you over again? What's gonna take for you to wake the fuck up? Uh? Has it occurred to you that she may be talkin' to the feds?"

"She ain't." He barely put in the words before Carlos kept talking over him.

"I get it, she's fascinating and exotic to you... natural blonde with curves for miles and USDA Prime grade pussy—"

Rio clasped his jaws together, making the distance that separated them in two hastened strides before Carlos had finished, his nose almost glued to the other man's, the warning barely growled past his lips, _"Don't..."_

But Carlos didn't stop, "Her cunt could be framed in gold and it still ain't worth it, not if it's gonna cost more than you can pay, not if the price is skin and blood."

"It's the mother of my child you talkin' about, _brother,_ it ain't somethin' simple." He stated.

"Nah... I wish it was, you're in love with her, which is even worse." Carlos growled back at him, bring his nose to his until they shared the same breath, "Cause you don't see that all she has is ice water runnin' along the drugs in her veins."

Rio's fists balled with the urge to punch him in the face. He couldn't remember the last time he had a heated argument with Carlos. It wasn't like he wasn't wrong. He did act differently around her, but since Carlos found the Oxy the already hostile crusade against Elizabeth had turned personal.

"She ain't your sister," Rio declared. Tanya OD'd years back, not before leaving a trail of ruin and grief that lasted till this day. "You underestimate her. She's tough."

"And you overestimate her. She's dangerous. She carries a shaky moral compass that goes pretty well with her _Good Person Syndrome._ She will always justify what she does for a reason or another as long as it suits her." Carlos returned.

"I ain't sayin' you're mistaken about her, she did us wrong and be sure she gonna pay her due, but—"

"But what? You gonna let her ruin everything cause she sucked your brain through your dick? You mess with the Russians, _The Syndicate_ will come for our asses, turf war is everythin' you never wanted, it's the reason you went solo and the reason I followed you, it's what took your father and it's what gonna take us."

"This started way before she was involved, the second I bid into politics—" He trailed off.

He'd stayed a small blip on The Syndicate's radar for years, avoiding crossing their path while maintaining diplomacy with the _crème de la crème_ of 313's crime organization had required careful planning. Gaining exclusive access to the port was a mistake. He'd seen an opening and went for it, a greedy move that attracted the kind of attention he didn't want.

But discussing what was facts was beating a dead horse. It would take them nowhere and wouldn't change the course that was already set. Carlos attacking Elizabeth was just another dead end.

"You knew the risks and tailed along but by all means, if you need someone to blame—" Rio shrugged, "Whoever you blame… It ain't changing a thing. All I want now is to protect my blood."

Nose against nose, Carlos extended his arms, "And we ain't blood, _brother_?"

"We are," Rio assured. Carlos was his brother, family he had chosen, but most times you didn't choose, sometimes it just happened. "Whether you like it or not, so is she. Elizabeth is family. _Mine. Yours._ If you don't want part of it, there's your chance…" He pointed to the open garage, "The door is open."

Silence fell over them, sour and heavy. He pulled away from Carlos' face, hoping it finally touched the nerve.

"So that's how do you wanna do this, huh?" Carlos said.

"Yeah, that's how's gonna be. You with _your family_ or nah?"

Carlos rocked his jaws back and forth, but whatever answer he was about to give him it was muffled by increasingly louder cheers. Both men look at each other confused and darted towards the chanting.

* * *

Beth followed Dags to a side door that led to the outside. Except for a large metal canopy, the back area was mostly open to the elements. Beth's eyes went straight to the targets in the distance, three large chopped tree trunks with bright red circles roughly painted on the bark. A boy she'd never seen before, not more than 17, placed an array of empty cans and bottles on a stand nearby the trunks.

Feeling the damp chill of the night settle on her, Beth quickly put her arms through the sleeves of Rio's coat, the lapels slightly overlapping over her breasts. The sinewy lines of his body were deceptive, he was way bigger than he looked but that was something she already knew by heart and touch. Revoking the memories her mind loved to feed her, Beth focused on her surroundings.

Most of Rio's crew mingled around a makeshift fire pit; on the bench closer to the fire a joint was being passed between Felix, Bullit and another guy she didn't know. Further back, a roller-door was open showing a huge flatscreen and mismatched set of couches where Mr. Cisco and a couple of others played some war-gruesome video game, a fridge against the wall and some planks of dark wood makeshift as table and benches. Wu-Tang Clan's Method Man blasted softly through a sound system.

No one batted an eye as she approached glued to Dags' heels. Either they didn't know she was the one to blame for their boss arrest or they didn't care. The amiable chatter between the group continued after nods and _Mrs B_ salutes. Beth just stood there for a second not sure of anything aware she must look like she stepped out of the Twilight Zone - stupid and completely out of place in her floral PJs and knit slippers. Conscious she wrapped herself tighter in the coat and cursed him. _Dick._

"You cold Mrs B?" Felix lagged, his voice dragging her away from the forlorn thoughts, "Sit here by the fire." He continued tapping the empty space beside him.

She wasn't, but it was better to sit than stand there waiting for what and how long only God knew. She sat and Bullit nudged the joint towards her. Beth shook her head, "I'm good, thanks."

In front of her there was a crate proposing as a table, amidst beer cans, guns were openly on display. Beth sensed a faint gunpowder scent, recent and more pungent than weed and burning firewood. They had been shooting, the targets made sense now.

The kid she'd seen before made a quick jog towards them, closer and despite his stocky frame, he looked even younger than she initially thought. Beth wondered if his parents knew the company he kept, wondered if they were sound asleep thinking he was in bed and he'd escaped through the window after stocking pillows under the covers, wondered how long till Kenny started to act up and if she would be that much in the dark.

The boy halted surprised when he saw her, the acne-riddled face turning pink when she caught him staring. He quickly made way to Dags who was leaning on a metal post nearby. "It's ready. Can I shoot?"

Dags chuckled hunting for a pack of cigarettes in his back pocket, "Dunno, can you?"

The kid mumbled a cracked yeah while Dags lit the cigarette with a Zippo cupped between his hands, the flicker illuminated his solid dark features. Of all the boys he looked like the older, hair and trimmed beard sauteed with greys.

He huffed the smoke upwards, "Before you hold a gun you need to hold your liquor, kid." Dags whistled to the group inside, one of the guys grabbed a beer from the fridge and tossed it to Dags who easily caught it. He held the cig between his lips and a butterfly knife appeared out of nowhere, he flicked it open like it was an extended part of his hand and expertly made a nickel sized hole on the bottom of the can, a procedure she was familiar with but hadn't witnessed it in years.

Dags closed the knife with the same adroitness and offered it to the boy, "Shotgun it and you can shoot."

Beth was about to protest, the kid was definitely not of drinking age and by the way he fumbled with the can no way he knew what the hell he was doing but she quickly sensed a camaraderie floating among the men, everyone was expectantly waiting with sly grins on their faces, it was intended for failure. Beth realized the kid was probably better off with a few gulps of beer than with a gun in his hands.

"C'mon boy!" Felix goaded beside her, "Do it under eight seconds and you get yourself a spot on the leaderboard."

The first mistake the kid made was pulling the tab before he had his mouth over the hole, when he tilted the can a cascade spilled from his chin, the guys started laughing, he lost focus and choked on the fast pouring liquid. The laughs echoed under the tin roof while he coughed the beer out.

Dags gave the boy a few teasing slaps on the back and murmured maybe next time under his breath. Clearly upset the kid sat crossed legged against the wall pulling way too long hair away from his eyes with a childish pout. Beth smiled warm-heartedly. _Just a boy._

"When that next time comes," Beth heard herself say softly, "Take a big breath and put your mouth on the hole before you open the can, and just suck it out."

The kid's sandy hair flicked with the snap of his chin, "And the fuck would you know, lady?"

Felix tensed visibly beside her. Dags plastered the kid with a grimace, "Boy—"

Beth lifted a hand, asking him to stop silently, "What's your name?" She asked the boy.

He turned red obviously regretting his choice of words, "Jay." He replied bashfully.

"Well, Jay, I could nag you about language and manners, but I'm sure you already know all about that." The boy looked away with a defiant jut, "But as a matter of fact, I know a lot… Can I have a beer please?"

Dags blinked. Whatever he thought she was going to say it definitely wasn't that. This time there wasn't beer tossing, Cisco brought it to her, "Thanks."

She stood up and extended a hand towards Dags, "Knife."

Dags did his little trick opening the butterfly knife with a swifts flicks and gave it to her by the handle. Holding the can horizontally, Beth pressed her thumbnail into the aluminium, making an indentation where the knife was supposed to go, an inch from the bottom, and carefully punctured the can. The pressure hissed out and she twisted the knife making the hole slightly bigger than a nickel. It had been— _a while_ since she did this, she couldn't risk going bigger.

Returning the knife to Dags, she made sure there weren't any sharp edges before winking to the boy, "Watch and learn."

Beth took a deep breath. Dags blinked again. Felix and Bullit were frozen in the act of exchanging the joint. Cisco had his mouth slightly ajar. The guys playing video games forgot about the controls and had their necks twisted for a view. All eyes on her, mouth to can, she tilted her head and popped the tab.

It was like riding a bike. She sucked out the foamy liquid chugging it through her throat like an open drain. A string of _Aahh's_ , _Oooh shit's and Dayum's_ followed.

 _One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds... and some._

Shotgunning a beer felt like pouring cement straight down your stomach. She closed her eyes, feeling the gas built up in her gut. It wasn't until the massive burp sliced through the silence that the roaring began.

Cisco was the first to reach her, a huge paw squeezing her shoulder. If it wasn't for the smile flashing honestly in his face, she would have recoiled in fear. "Damn _Missus B!_ I'm sure you broke my record."

She received gentle-ish pats on the back and praises that left her redder than a cooked lobster. "I went to college for a minute... crazy parties." She explained coyly, crushing the can between her hands.

That's when she saw him, leaning on the wall nearby arms crossed under his chest, eyes gleaming with amusement. She was sure some smug comment was rolling on the tip of his tongue. The slender smirk disappeared with it as soon as the guys noticed him standing there. The vibe changed immediately, not uncomfortable but charged with the presence of authority. _Him._

The crowd quickly dispersed to their previous engagements. Jay's lips moved into a silent - _I'm sorry -_ before disappearing inside. Carlos cleared his throat and left through the door they had come thru. And then even with a small crowd, they were alone.

"I'm glad you found a way to entertain yourself that doesn't involve mid-night freelancing for Detroit's Road and Traffic department." He said propelling himself from the wall, stopping barely two steps away from her, "Did you craft the stop sign out of cardboard and glitter glue?"

Beth threw the crushed can into the flames, Felix and Bullit were gingerly eavesdropping their conversation, exchanging a freshly rolled joint.

"I stole it," Beth said.

Rio tsked amused, "Ah, solving a problem with another problem, your MO."

"Can we just— Do whatever it is that we're gonna do." She said trying not to sound harried and failing miserably.

All she wanted was to finish this once and for all. Being near him, having him peer at her with those slicing eyes, touching her when she had made peace with his last hold was like letting a wound fester.

"I have to get back to my family." She stretched.

"A'ight, _Mrs Boland._ " He agreed with a sardonic half-smirk.

Drawing strength from a pool that she constantly believed empty but was somehow bottomless, Beth followed him, telling herself the faster she did the faster she'd be done. But when he stopped near a painted red strip on the floor and handed her the pearl handle gun, her resignation ran its course.

"That's what you want to teach me? To shoot?" Beth crossed her arms under her chest, refusing to take the gun, "I know how to pull a trigger."

"Hmm-hmm." He nodded his head mocking her with slanted eyes, "That's the easy part."

"What else is there to it? You point, you shoot."

He nudged the handle towards her again, "Pick a target then."

Beth yanked the gun from his hand, smiling wryly. "Do you count as one?"

"Oh baby, you can try. You do a lot of that, tryin'." He goaded.

Beth positioned herself behind the mark and aimed to one of the painted circles, "I'm glad everything comes so easily to you that you never had to try."

She drew the safety and squeezed the trigger with mighty passion. There was a soft click but nothing happened. Beth blinked at him, a smirked _I-told-you-so_ procrastinated on his tilted face.

"What did I—" Beth turned the gun in her hand leering at the gun barrel with disgust, "It isn't loaded?"

"Whoa, whoa!" Rio reached for the gun faster than lightning, peeling her indicator off the trigger and lowering the tip to the floor, "Let's start with safety, yeah? There are three quintessential rules. The rest is bullshit."

She almost laughed, "Oh, is it?"

Making sure she saw what he was doing, Rio put the safety back on and pushed and small switch on the handle, "You assume the gun is loaded, _always."_ The magazine slid off, full of golden bullets, "Don't point to anythin' you don't wanna shoot. Keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to shoot."

He aligned the magazine and pushed in with the palm of his hand, "You got it?"

"Yup. Guns are always loaded. Keep it pointed in a safe direction. Finger off the trigger until you shoot."

"Good." He returned her the gun, "Pull the slide all the way back and release." She pointed down to the floor which earned her an approving nod and did as he'd said. The slide sprung back to its original position, "Now you have a round in the chamber. Take the magazine off."

Beth made sure her finger stayed off the trigger as she gracelessly searched for the small button she'd seen him use earlier. Her eyes reticently searched his, he licked his lips in that amused shtick of his, "It's okay. You can keep tryin' all night."

Beth rolled her eyes but refused to take the bait. When the magazine finally released she almost dropped it to the floor. They both went for it, fingers touching in the process. It was like a high-voltage electric discharged all over her body, curdling and humming into the most interesting places. His eyes flashed with what she didn't want to acknowledge. Beth immediately pulled away, her breath winded and her mind fuzzy by the intensity. The magazine fell with the clank on the concrete. They stared at each other for a moment then both dived for it, heads bashing in the process.

A stream of curses left their mouths as they both stumbled awkwardly. Beth cupped a hand over her forehead. It served her right, she should stop being an idiot. "Are you okay?"

Rio nodded rubbing a sore spot near his hairline, "You?"

"Yeah," She said. "I think you got the worst of it."

Rio picked up the bullet, still rubbing his head. "I'll keep in mind your head is harder than mine. Must be all that stubbornness."

"Giving me a free win?" Beth couldn't hold back a snigger, "I must have hit you real hard."

The deep innuendo in his drawl turned her inside out, "Yeah, momma… you did."

The tension trekked in an instant, sensuous and intoxicating. Beth looked away from those hooded eyes, facing the red painted targets in the distance, she studied them like they were a new-found Picasso. Beth cleared her throat. "What's next?"

"Check the chamber." Rio bit the inside of his cheek, watching her push away that stubborn tuft of golden hair off her face, his fingers prickling to do it himself. "Pull the slide just enough so you can see inside the port."

"Port?"

"The hole on the top." Beth nodded, "Fingers off the trigger, ma." He warned while Beth fumbled with the gun, finding hard to grip the gun and hold the half-coiled slide in place.

"I'll show you." Before she knew it, a finger was tucking hair behind her ear, warm breath and crisp whiskers grazing her lobe as he peered over her shoulder. His hard chest flattened against her back, the heat of his body scattered away the initial rigidity of her tensed muscles. Tan hands gently spread over her hips, silently asking her to hold still. Straight to business, he didn't seem to notice how affected she was when he cupped her hands in his, the chilling hardness of metal contrasting with the padding warmth of flesh.

He guided her movements, teaching her while his raw voice enshrined her brain, "Do it slowly and hold it just here. That's how you check if a gun is loaded. You pull the slide all the way back, the bullet will eject from the chamber. That's how you clear a loaded gun." Just as he'd explained, the small bullet ejected from the port rebounding back and forth on the ground. He slid the magazine back in before backing away. His warmth was immediately missed, but his voice lingered. "Again, from the beginning."

Rio made her load and clear the gun the magazine ran out of bullets, by then Beth was sure she could fucking do it with her eyes closed. Then, she learned out to feed the bullets into the magazine. And finally, he told her to choose a target.

By logic, she picked the painted bark as her target. Easier to hit than a can. Still, she missed, again and again. Eventually, Beth managed a few grazes to the wood but after countless failures, her trigger finger began to cramp, her hands shook slightly and an overall uneasiness had settled under her skin, making her restlessly switch her weight from one cold foot to the other - the early symptoms of withdrawal.

Deciding to stop was the easy part, taking action was the difficulty, especially when you knew first-hand what was knocking on your door. She hadn't made plans but she didn't want to go thru that again, she was terrified of it.

By the quick research she'd done, it wouldn't be a couple of days this time, she was looking at a week - at best - of inconceivable pain and bodily fluids humiliation. She was not doing _that._ And going to rehab— she didn't have the money or the time that it implicated. There must be another option… something she could do by herself, there must be a program to taper the dosage for honest-to-god consumers, something she could MacGyver for herself.

At Rio's insistence, she raised her arm again and squeezed the trigger. The next minutes were of pure torture. Hot and cold, he kept spinning her in circles, tormenting her with snarky remarks, and the freshness of his breath over her pulse point. Handling her, nudging her and correcting her posture. She could swear the all-so-casual brush of his inner tricep to the supple of breasts was premeditated, and there was zero excuse for the way his fingers dipped once or twice into the clothed flesh of her hip, way less to the way he glued his chest to her back and promptly ignored her derrière.

All she could do was try to focus. And boy, she tried, tried to feel nothing, to ignore the devastating pleasure that ignited wherever and however he touched her.

Eventually she managed to hit the trunk - way off any mark but still, she'd hit the outer circle - Beth turned to Rio with satisfaction, "I did it."

"Do it again." He said unimpressed.

A sudden yawn oscillated her jaw. Rio cocked his head to the side, regarding her with that piercing gaze, "Oh, I'm sorry, you need a rest? I thought you wanted to go home."

She was hungry, tired, and her nerves were a mess, but what she wanted the most was for this day to be over, not give him any more ammunition to taunt her. Beth was sure not much would waver that look of steel, less being a petty whiner. Instead of releasing the primed _\- Fuck Off -_ that she had on the tip of her tongue she just sighed, "Why don't you just tell what I'm doing wrong and we get out of each other's hair."

His tongue brushed his bottom lip before that deadly side smile tickled the corner of his mouth. "Oh, but I like it there, sweetheart."

Beth couldn't avoid but flutter her eyes closed as he invaded her personal space, fingers brushing her hair away. "Don't—" The word sounded insignificant even to her, especially when she didn't even ward off his touch. "I just want this over."

The back of his nails skimmed the sensitive skin behind her ear. Beth lowered her eyes to the open collar of his bomber jacket, too aware of the havoc his gentle stroking was causing within her, "Sometimes you get to do something and don't realize until it's over how much you enjoy it. How much you want it."

Beth scoffed as he spun her back to the targets, "I don't want to kill a man and I don't think that's something to enjoy." _Even if said man was the scum of the heart._

"That ain't what I'm talkin' about." He said cryptically while leaning over her right shoulder and extending her arms, "Cup the magazine, two hands makes it steadier. You see the white dots?"

Beth blinked at the sudden change of topic and the way his touch was so tuned to the shift, instantly clinical. Perturbed, Beth could only nod as he indicated the one at the front of the gun, "That's the front sight. You want to it centred between the rear dots."

Beth kept her finger from the trigger while he moved her arm sideways and the front dot wavered to the sides, "Keep it centred. Line it with your target, the front sight should be blurry. Now I want you to focus on that white dot, not the target, you're already lined, just the front sight. Shoot when you're ready."

She was about to, but his words made her lose focus, "You ask for things then you act like they just _happen_ to you, when in fact, you made a choice."

"I made a mistake." Beth squeezed the trigger. She missed the bullseye, but it hit in the inner middle circle.

"Everyone makes mistakes, the fact you can't own yours puts you in this position."

"Excuse me!" Beth lowered the gun and turned to him enraged, "That's not true! One way or another, I've always come thru with your money!"

"And then you threw some keys at my face and stirred Hell itself for your 15 minutes of fame."

"Maybe I wouldn't have if you talked to me instead of bullying me around, waving your gun like a royal sceptre. _I had to..._ because you never trusted me!"

"Like you can blame me! Let me put this into terms you will understand, yeah?" He cited, hands gesticulating each flying word.

While she had the tendency to high-pitching when angry, he was the total opposite. His voice got heavier, thicker somehow maintaining its lilt - a menacing dulcet.

"If you don't make our problem go away, I'm not going to take the fall. _You are._ And maybe you'll get lucky, they offer you a deal, you rat your bitches, drop some insignificant names, hell— you can even test mine again, it won't make a difference, but let's say you end in some bougie-ass prison. Orange will look great on you, and you wait out the _minimum_ 15 years for parole making artisanal potpourri and regular sunbathing. Maybe you'll get out in time to attend Kenny's wedding. And Emma will be— What? 21, drinking age and you can bet—reeking with mommy issues. By then those kids won't even know you. Worst case scenario you rot away in a 2x3 cage and your kids... they won't even care."

By then Beth was on the verge of tears. "You're cruel."

"I'm a realist. This business has no feelings."

Beth looked away, fighting back the tears. Fortunately, they were interrupted by the buzz of his phone.

Rio frowned at the screen. "Keep goin', I gotta take this. Be gentle with that trigger."

 _Tyrannical dick._ Beth mouthed the words to his back, using the back of her hand to clean the single wet trail on her cheek.

When she turned around, she almost screamed absolutely sure she was seeing a ghost. Pale blue eyes smiled at her, curly tufts of dark brown hair fell onto the youthful face, "E-Eddy? I thought— You're alive!?"

"How else would I be? The boys told me you were here." With a smile, Eddy handed her a serviette with the words Amir's in bold print. "You hungry? I just got some food."

That didn't explain the napkin offering. God, _everyone_ must have seen the little spectacle. "Thanks," Beth wiped the corners of her eyes. She was hungry but she could eat something home and you know what? Rio could find someone else to boss, "Uhm, could you give me a ride home instead?"

Eddy scratched the back of his head, "I don't know Mrs B…"

"You owe me, for the car." She insisted while following him inside.

"I don't wanna get in trouble. I'm still cleaning my record with that shit… Sorry Mrs B." He said apologetically. "We got Kafta, Tabbouleh, Shawarma and a bunch of... _stuff_ , the whole Middle Eastern feast," He waved towards the table, "Hey, dipshit!" He barked towards the new kid, swatting his hand from grabbing a pita, "Didn't I said to wait?"

Jay just sighed dropping the pita back in the container. When Eddie turned to Beth, he was all smiles again, "Sit down, Mrs B. I'll get you a plate."

A production line formed between the guys, paper plates filled with aromatic steaming food and sporks were passed around the table while the hardcore rap boomed softly in the background, mingling with the chatter and laughs. Carlos emerged to sit to her right, the plate to her left at the empty head of the table, she supposed it was for Rio.

She glanced at the large man, who didn't share the same warmth towards her as the other guys. Honestly, he gave her the creeps. But he could have taken any other seat on the large table, choosing to sit next to her instead... maybe a little talk— "Do you always eat this late?" She blurted woodenly.

His massive head turned - very slowly - towards her. The already strained milieu heightened when he made a show of quietly chewing his food staring at her, eyes sharp and honed like a knife, not even bothering to reply. _Ugh! Just— ugh!_ She was a disaster.Like she didn't have enough humiliation for a day.

"Okay..." She mumbled under her breath.

She reached for the beer that Eddy had placed in front of her plate and took a sip, wiggling her bare toes inside the fluffy slippers' lining in an attempt to draw back the chilling numbness, wishing she had had the sense to put on some proper shoes before her late-night adventure. She played with the food on her plate, her hunger seemingly vanished but his words wouldn't… the scenario he painted embedded in her brain.

It was funny, since she got that gun in the paper bag, shooting Boomer was not an option but a certainty, still, she found the strength to fight him on it— she fights him on everything. Where was that brawn when it came to Dean? Why did she always bend?

She used to think everything was right and wrong, heads or tails, black and white, but things change, people change. She changed to all the shady-ass hues of grey. She was capable of terrible things, things she never imagined. She didn't think Dean, who she had deemed black as coal, was capable of killing someone. She didn't know who was worse, they both had patches of colour when it came to their kids, although hers were fading with her latest action.

But Rio... she couldn't define any of his colours— the muddiness befitted the smooth manipulative Devil. The more she dwelled on his words and actions, the more positive she was. He was stirring her into doing what he wanted. There was no doubt about it. The same way he had made her think he'd killed Eddy, and subsequently - kill her. His intent was to cower her.

Others might consider him as having a restrained and disciplined nature, but Beth alone had provoked him into formidable tempers. She had accused him of cruelty, but in spite of many opportunities to hurt her, he never did, at least not in the ways Dean did.

She had thought him coldhearted more than once, but the truth was that he possessed an unusual depth of empathy and oddly— integrity, even if reigned by his own code. He was a fair man, she couldn't say otherwise, everything he'd done to her was reciprocal, either good or bad.

And he was right— _this_ was on her, foreshadowing all the way back to the F&F heist. She just didn't understand why he was so prepotent on her doing the deed. Why risk her failure when he could do it himself? Wasn't he really worried about the FBI? What would he gain from it? Would he keep it hanging over her head? An Ace in his sleeve?

She was sure he'd heard few no's in his life. He was driven, the kind of man who had whatever he wanted when he wanted, by all means necessary. And he still wanted her. As much as she aspired to _not_ want him. He called it love, but Beth knew better. Love wasn't real… at least not that kind of love.

What he was in love with was a fantasy - Concocted when they met at Lucky's, infatuated by tequila, salt and lime, enamoured by the passage of time, enduring because he couldn't have it. But she wasn't that woman, _she_ never existed. If she wasn't so certain pity would destroy her completely, she would fancy showing the world what _love_ had done to her. But then again, hadn't she always been a little broken? Maybe, it was all her. Maybe she didn't know how or simply couldn't love.

She signed off her morose thoughts, noticing Eddy expectantly awaiting. Not wanting to be rude she resigned herself to take a few bites, she settled for the meat and sporked a mouthful. She covered her mouth at an unexpected moan, pure delight sweeping her palate.

Eddy chuckled, "The boss ain't taken you to Amir's yet, huh? Fuckin' good, yea?"

The conversation proceeded to Eddy telling her exactly where Amir's was and the hidden menu she was to ask about, managing to squeeze info about Annie in the process to Beth's amusement, she knew the interest was mutual. Turned out vintage watches weren't the only thing he was interested about, Eddy was a total foodie and Beth somehow ended up promising to bake him something, well— bake _everyone_ something. As soon as they heard the word dessert she had to cross her heart she was gonna bake enough for all.

She quickly learned that Cisco was the clown in the group. Although her joy was defunct, his jokes were so dry that it was impossible not to react. Most of the crowd was begging him to stop, but Beth was appreciating the ghost of her own laugh. She could swear she even saw a grin under Carlos' beard.

"A'ight, a'ight, last one... What stars go to jail?" Cisco looked around the table maintaining the suspense, "Shooting stars."

"Jesus, man," Dags muttered while Beth giggled. "Seriously?"

"Mrs B is laughing." Cisco raised a beer towards her, "Who wouldn't want that."

Rio witnessed the scene leaning on the wall. Beth had her chin propped on her hand, the corners of her eyes and the bridge of her nose crinkled adorably while she cackled with a fully blown smile on her lips. Then she covered her mouth like she'd surprised herself with her own laugh.

Everyone at the table was seeing what he was, drinks had stopped halfway to mouths, knowing eyes that had heeded too much darkness and young ones that had so much yet to perceive were smitten alike by the essence of her mirth.

A green hand squeezed his heart painfully, it was all he wanted, seeing her like that... happy, and he was envious it wasn't him who was making it happen. "If you're 'bout done with charming my men, we still have some business to attend to."

She stiffed along with the rest of the table startled by the authoritative boom. He didn't wait to see if she was following but heard the muffled - _Excuse me_ \- and the almost silent drag of her feet behind him.

Beth observed his silhouette contoured by the crackling firepit, flames enraged by the wood he was feeding into it.

"The feds got him tucked away." He said once she was close enough.

"What does that mean?"

"Probably protective custody and whatnot." Satisfied with the fire he paid mind to her, hands tucked in his jean's pockets, slightly dragging the waistband down and emphasising the narrow of his hips. And although he looked neutral his tone was accusing, "Someone got a whiff of something."

God, she should know better by now, of course, the weasel didn't only take her money, he jabbered his fat mouth to Turner. "How do you even know that?" She asked.

"Home court advantage." He smiled, tongue flashing enticingly underneath white teeth. And Beth had to wonder if he simply needed to breathe to be seductive, every simple gesture he performed made _things_ happen to her.

She teetered on her feet, sneaking her hands into the pockets of his coat and finding the cold metal of the pearl gun. "So, I'm guessing you'll take it from here, then."

"Excuse me?" His smile grew broader, teasing, "I think you need to come closer, ma, didn't hear you properly."

Beth knew he was bluffing, but still, with an invisible pull she walked closer to him, "I mean, if he's in custody and we can't get to him, it's over."

"No," He dragged. "It's over when you finish it."

Beth looked at him incredulously, "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Just be your usual self, you know—" He shrugged, "A boss bitch."

"How?" She repeated, "I know that when shit happens to you, you're used to have your ass polished by your minions, but I don't have anyone to polish mine! Sure as hell I don't know how to do any of this!"

He laughed, an honest to God laugh that infused her nerves, and not in a good way. "Ah, man! You're such a card."

Her hand slithered its way to the nape of her neck, with a mental groan she squeezed the tension pooling there. "You know what would be nice? If you gave me a break just once."

His hand found its way to her shoulder almost automatically, "Rough day, huh?"

Beth moaned as his fingers undid a tightly corded knot. He squeezed harder and this time her groan was fully blown, "Rough months."

He hummed as the other hand did the same on her right shoulder, "It ain't just that, is it? When did you last—" He trailed off with a wave of his hand but Beth knew exactly what he was talking about, there was no reason to deny or hide it but it didn't make her less ashamed.

"This morning." She said clearing her throat uncomfortably.

"You're starting to feel like shit." It wasn't really a question but she still nodded. Linking his fingers around her fragile wrist, he pulled her towards the bench near the fire.

"What are you doing?" She asked as he continued to pull her, "Aren't I supposed to be shooting stuff until you're satisfied?"

He sat down but didn't let go of her, "Oh, so now you want to satisfy me?"

Beth plastered him with a derisive glance, "I live to please." With the dignity of an offended cat, she sat next to him, "What's next? We sing Kumbaya?"

He chuckled, "I dunno. Your singing any good?"

Beth ignored him, bracing herself mentally while he fished his phone from an inner pocket, fingers tapping quickly on the screen. "We need to talk," He said, stuffing the phone back in his pocket and leaned with his on his knees.

Well, that was… _new._

He looked pensive - worried even - with his chin propped on his thumbs while his fingers interlaced in front of his mouth. "You said you didn't want to lie to me no more," He continued.

Beth stiffed on the bench, "I did say that."

There was a pause, he didn't say anything at least not with words, but Beth felt the demand in his eyes all the same: _Don't lie to me._

"How long have you been using?"

"Why does it matter?" She asked in return.

"Because it just does…" He sighed, jaws twitching. When he talked again it was smooth but bitter, "Because I need to know."

"It has nothing to do with you if that's what you're asking. I've quit before and I can do it again. I'm going to—" She corrected herself, "I've stopped."

He nodded, "That's great… really, you don't need to do it alone tho. There are people you can talk to, groups—"

"Yeah, soapbox isn't really my thing." She interrupted him sitting all the way back on the bench. It was hard to swallow all of a sudden… resentful she kicked a loose chip of concrete. The pity party, it was everything she didn't want. God, she hated it.

How was the saying? _Be careful of what you wish for?_ Beth felt like she was being enclosed in a topic that she didn't want to be, suddenly preferring the hardness of his cryptic words to this- _talk._

Gingerly, he peeled her fingers from the edge of the bench, she hadn't even noticed how hard she was gripping the wood. He pried her fisted hand open, before interlocking his tan fingers between her pale ones, his thumb trailing gentle circles on the soft thenar of her palm, touching more than skin.

"I don't need a pep talk…I'm fine. Really, you don't need to do this. I-I just need to get off these pills—" She sounded defensive even to her ears, "I'm good." She reassured more to herself than him.

"No, you ain't."

Beth blew an unbelieving raspberry that turned into a nervous chortle, "I had enough of this. Take me home— You know what? Nevermind, I'll walk!"

His fingers grasped her wrist before she could skid away, firmly enough that she could feel her own fast-paced pulse throbbing against the cinch of his fingers. "Elizabeth... You put a gun to your head and pulled the trigger. You need help."

It was more than enough to launch her to stratosphere, "And now you want me to kill someone! Maybe you should reconsider who needs help here!"

The squeak of the roller door permeated the tension, clinging to her nerves. Her lungs heaved with increasing labour although she was glued in place, bound by the stripping quality of Rio's dark orbs. His hold didn't waver, not even when Carlos approached them, light on his feet, an incredible feat for a man of his stature.

"Imma head out," said Carlos, eyes moving from one stern profile to the other. He hummed, assessing the brewing tension while running a tattooed hand through the length of his beard.

"Sit down… please? I'll take you home in a few." Rio pleaded softly.

A doubting line formed on Beth's brow and he pried his grasp on her. Pinky under his thumb he brought the three remaining fingers his temple in salute, "Scouts honour."

"You haven't been a Scout a day of your life." She objected.

"Nah, but you have so I'm pledging with your honour."

He looked so godman debonair with that crooked smile on his face that Beth herself couldn't bypass her own smile. Shaking her head she sat down with an oomph, mentally kicking herself for the lack of resistance against his charm.

Once she was seated Rio placed a possessing hand over her shoulder before facing Carlos. "Am I seeing you tomorrow?"

Beth detected a different tension between the two men as Carlos grumbled an affirmative. Rio patted Carlos' shoulder not so gently before the other man did the same, some kind of silent exchange in a virile language Beth didn't understand. But whatever pickle had been rotting between them was discarded in that instant.

"The guys are clearing up too. You close the place?" Carlos asked. Beth glanced to the inside to see them cleaning up the last of the plates, empty cans and bottles. Jay was sponging the table, while Eddy stored the leftovers in the fridge.

"Yeah," Rio confirmed while the guys waved goodbyes from the inside and disappeared through the side door.

Carlos nodded a steely goodnight towards her and left, grabbing the new kid's nape - very scolding-parent like - and dragged him out the door.

"Is Jay his son?" Beth asked.

He shook his head, "Nephew. He tends to sneak in, the boys work him out but it doesn't discourage him—" Rio shrugged, "I guess it's better here than out there."

"He doesn't like me, does he? Carlos?" She asked.

"He's not your number one fan. And you remind him of his sister." He sat down next to her again, "She OD'd on heroin a few years ago."

"I'm not doing heroin nor I plan to." She returned defensively.

"And I ain't sayin' you will. We've all seen how bad this can end, it brings some sour memories."

She went cold at the thought of every single one of the boys knowing, "I don't need anyone's pity."

"No one is pitying you. You're willed and tough, momma but there ain't no shame in asking for help, no shame in needing it either."

"Like you ever needed anyone's help. You don't understand…" She trailed off bitterly.

Beth knew he had no idea what he was talking about... He didn't know what drowning in dryland felt like. Had someone ever played him like a marionette? Crushed his will with fists and his desires with vile words? Help? She chuckled dryly. There was none for her. Oh, Beth had seen a shrink before. She was in a very dark place after Jane. Postpartum depression they said, all they did was stuff her with pills that made her feel even worse. If help was medication, she was better off medicating herself.

"I know it's hard, but Shrinks ain't that bad. Believe me, I lived with one most of my life," He reached for his wallet and took a business card out. "My mother is a therapist."

Beth took it surprised by the revelation. A name was printed in italics - _Laura Del Aquila,_ psychotherapist. 

"I'm not tryna pressure you or anything, I just want you to keep the possibility of seeing someone in mind, a'ight?"

Beth closed her hand over the card, the thick cardboard crumbling under the pressure, spiteful she tossed it in the pit, the paper was devoured by the fire almost instantly.

"I can't even begin to imagine what strings would come attached to your _help._ " Beth stated hypnotized by the flames, "You don't make any sense. One minute you're bitter and the next you're sweet. You treat me like a pawn and suddenly I'm your protégé. You're cold, then you're burning. You say you'll teach me but you do so by manipulating me..."

He faced the glowing outline of her profile, jaw twitching violently. "You need to understand that there are some bells you can't unring."

"And I rang all of them, huh?" Beth chuckled mirthlessly, "Isn't it funny how you accuse me of lying back and forth, but your truths are only spoken in halves and to your convenience."

"I'm don't lie, Elizabeth. All of it is for a reason… for yours, Emma's and your kids' safety."

She faced him with a cynical twist to her lip, "It just surprises me that you care that much when five minutes ago you threatened me with prison."

"You really think I'm gonna let you go to jail?" His voice was as soft as his eyes, inviting her trust.

Her voice tumbled, hardly a whisper, "I don't know what to think anymore…"

Not able to stay near him, she braced herself near the fire, not that she was cold, the gesture more a search for comfort.

Rio stared at her stubborn figure, sensing the terrible conflict inside her. He set his jaw so hard that he felt it tremble, but still he ached— to shake and kiss and punish her... all at once.

"For fuck's sake woman!" Rio darted from the bench and twirled her around. Firm hands found her upper arms and squeezed, hard. "Look me in the eye and tell me when I drop you off home tonight it's the last time we're gonna see each other. Tell me you're not gonna rob anythin' else when money's tight. Promise me you won't touch another fake bill. Tell me you can end it right here, right now."

Confounded, Beth could only open and close her mouth as he shook her with each pithy maxim.

"C'mon!" He persisted, "Look me in the eye and tell me you will stay away from me, from all of it, and you won't have to do anything you don't want. Tell me and I'll let you go. No strings attached. Forever."

The passionate tirade ceased and the death-grip on her arms eased, but her words of denial never came. Rio searched her eyes in stillness finding all the clues he needed, the answers he already knew.

 _"You can't_... you know why? Because _I know you._ Because despite everything, _you love me._ Even if you do not want to admit it, _you love me, Elizabeth._ You love me as deeply as I love you."

Beth had nowhere to hide and there was nowhere to run with his hands perched on her hips. Her silence was barely a step above revelation. Her heart felt like it might crack open and spill all her feelings out. She clamped her lips together and swallowed hard, unwilling to let that happen.

"You gonna deny it? Hmm?" He insisted, his timbre was silken and yet dripped with heavy intensity, "Are you gonna dare and deny what your eyes, your skin and your body yell at me?" He continued, " _You love me, Elizabeth._ You love me, and you can't hide it. That's the truth. The only truth that counts between you and me."

His dark head swooped to hers slowly, giving her all the time in the world to rebuff him. His nose nudged hers, waiting patiently. Her mouth parted, their breaths became one, and Beth knew she was doomed even before his lips touched hers. She closed her eyes even knowing it would only lead to catastrophe.

But then again, whether she acted or stood idle wouldn't the result be the same? Wasn't it better have a taste of happiness than nothing at all? Was there even a choice when her heart pumped something more than blood into her veins? If her core fissioned with way more than stark need? How could she stop herself from something this good, so tangible and attainable?

The little voice in the back of her head screamed reason at her, stating that every time she procured something for herself it always came with a greater price. But it was too late, she rushed into his kiss despite knowing it was delusion.

She deepened the kiss, palms skidding up the flats of his pecs, his gliding under the hem of her pj's and lingering on the small of her back. Rio shuddered when her cool fingertips found the sweet spot between the curve of his neck and the austere edge of his jaw and the pace of his breathing accelerated to match her own. Beth moaned when his rough hands slithered up, towards the sensitive flesh of her ribs and fondled the pulpous sides of her bare breasts.

Beth hauled away from his lips to watch his marauding hands find the top button of her floral shirt, slightly trembling fingers with neat cuticles freed one button after the other. The shimmer from the fire played with the exposed band of flesh, giving her alabaster skin a dancing glow from the elegant curve of her neck to the slightly rounded abdomen.

His palms slid under the open fabric, cupping her breasts, her nipples tightened against the pressure, causing an involuntary quiver. His face turned rigid with desire, thick lashes lowering as he contemplated her. Slowly his fingertips traced the swelled tip and the roundness of her breast. Working her skin like canvas and his fingers like brush, he etched a path through her body smearing a sensuous pattern only he could see, only she could feel.

She worked his own button-up through lavish kisses until the solid pressure of his body crowded hers. His hungering mouth found hers, Beth cradled his face almost on the tip of her toes in the yearning to have him closer. Urgent hands skimmed under the elastic waistband of her pants and clamped over her buttocks, effortlessly lifting her to him. Shivering with helpless excitement, Beth wrapped her legs around the svelteness of his waist while he strode inside and pinned her to the closest wall.

Roughly he tore his mouth away from hers, burring his face into her golden hair. Breath flowed against her ear, tongue and lips skated over her skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses over her pulse point and lingering in the steep hollow of her neck with erotic strokes. He moved through her clavicle, marking the top of her shoulders with nibbling pecs and freeing each arm from the bound of clothing. One by one his coat, her robe and pajamas top formed a slacked heap on the floor.

He held the weight of her breasts, fiddling the soft roundness and the taut peaks. Verbatim to the textbook of her body, he took each nipple to his mouth, rounding the tighten areolas with the tip of his tongue before suckling the perked nubs into the cosiness of his palate.

His hands returned to her buttocks, the protuberance of his desire burned against her core. Beth pushed against the tantalizing pressure, craving him inside her. She clung to the broadness of his shoulders, her fingers kneading and flexing into his bomber jacket, the open chest crushed against her as he eased her from the wall and arranged her on the table's edge.

Naked waist up, Beth propped herself on her elbows. Rio drew back, gaping at her while kicking shoes and peeling clothes off, his dark eyes filled with the enthralled novelty of someone who had opened a Christmas present.

Beth could only observe, dazed by each bit of exposed skin, by the beauty and feline grace of his body, all lean muscle rippling under golden skin, steep angles and corded lines. He yanked the strained black briefs down, the engorged member spurt into full attention from the nest of a craved V. Beth couldn't possibly imagine a more beautiful man, either in real life or fiction.

Blatantly unimported by his nakedness, he sauntered towards her. Under the meaningful shadow of his eyes and the memory of the pleasure his hard body had granted hers, Beth began to heave with a desire she couldn't suppress. He cupped her jaw, thumb dragging her lower lip, Beth took the opportunity to nip at it. Rio growled to the sensual caress of her tongue, fingers dipping the side of her neck and bringing her mouth to his. But instead of the devouring kiss she was expecting, he merely grazed her mouth. A succession of tentative brushes followed, leaving her intoxicated in emotional turmoil.

Rio hooked his fingers on the waistband of her remaining clothes, Beth raised her hips while he gradually whisked her pj's and panties down her legs. Gingerly holding her calf, he got rid of her slippers and unlaced the tangle of textiles off one leg and then the other. He cupped her foot, lips finding the inner hollow off her ankle and the sensitive fold of her knee. Her pulse thrummed at her throat when he kneeled between her legs, stringing tender kisses all the way up to her inner thigh.

His ardent gaze was engrossed in her pussy, she felt his fingers raking through the soft triangle between her thighs. Her breath grew choppier by the second, mounting from expectation. His palms held her trembling thighs apart while his thumbs separated her labia.

With bated breath she watched him lower his head, gasping when his lips kissed her hooded clit. He glided along the seam of her inner labia, the flat of his tongue finding its way back to the top, dragging the clitoral hood up before his lips locked around her clit, nipping at the aching flesh. A moan hauled up her chest, her toes curled and her hands searched something to grip. He held her still, fingers cinched to the back of her thighs, suckling her clit all so gently… almost too gently, way to torturous.

He released her nub to snatch most of her vulva in his open mouth, suckling, pulling and releasing her inner labia in a pattern that drove her mad. She balled her fist and bit into it— because the sounds coming from her, while not especially loud, were somewhat embarrassing. And he had just started so the potential was infinite.

As if testing her endurance, he went back to her clit, this time curling his tongue around the bundle, flicking it hard and soft, hard and soft, until she thought she might scream. The bittersweet torment continued as he licked the swollen folds of her pussy and his tongue slipped into her wet heat again and again, tasting and teasing. She rocked her hips hoping for more or less— _or something._ But he knew what she needed better than herself.

Two fingers found her entrance and dipped into her core while his tongue flattened over her clit, constraining all the nerves in the little bundle and setting them on a rampage. She produced an unearthly noise, strangled and remote, marvelled by the adroitness of his fingers, the artistry of his mouth and the poetic flick of his tongue. Desperate she reached for the back of his head, holding to the short hair the best she could and pressing his face into her pussy.

Inebriated by her response, Rio hummed deep in his throat, nose deeply buried in the small patch of dark-gold curls. The vibrations along with the scratchy velvet of his beard on her hypersensitive skin sent her sailing off the edge.

Her body shook and trembled, but he kept eating her out with avid interest, curling the fingers inside her with each fervent suckling and lick. A wave coiled within her, tighter and tighter until it was too much to bear. Her back arched off the table and her breasts thrust into the air with the propel of release, Rio reached up and pinched her nipples gently. Beth moaned her pleasure or maybe she screamed— it was hard to say, everything was so intense she nearly zoned out, lost in the draught of rapture.

Not giving her an ounce of reprieve, Rio kept stroking her, drinking her tangy essence, and she was way to spent to do anything else than let him. He kissed her inner thigh, trailing through her hip bone and the soft flesh of her navel, the rasp of honed teeth on her ribs made her open her eyes, then he was suckling her nipples into his mouth one after the other. They were so sensitive that she felt the tug of renewed excitement all the way to her pussy and toes.

Effortlessly, Rio hoisted her up and closer to the edge. Beth laced her arms around him, hands fluttering on his shoulders attuned to the throbbing silken heat of his cock against her.

She drew a sharp breath and clung to him, welcoming the heavy and invading pressure as her body stretched to accommodate his thrust. Beth locked her legs around his waist, supported by his powerful arms while her inner walls gloved him tightly.

Rio drove slowly but vigorously into her. Beth dug her nails into his tensed triceps, sinking a whimper of pleasure in the hollow of his tattooed neck. Fully seated, he clutched to the rounds of her ass, sinking his groan into the hairline at her temple.

He searched her lips, pushing steadily into her slick walls. Her body arched with the shallow strokes, the girth of his head pulsing hot and potent within her, barely prodding past the rugged entrance— it was so damned good it was frustrating. Rio provoked her further, first with the brutal sway of his hip, filling her entirely, then going back to the scant raps. The pattern continued until she thought she would go crazy with what he was doing to her. Desperate from some control she clenched him tightly, but it only managed to writhe her further.

The little sounds coming from her throat and vibrating in his lips was all he needed. His hand moved between them, fingertips seeking the pearl of her clit, he increased the pace, deeper and faster, stroking the sensitive nub to the rhythm of his pounding.

She knew he was as close as her, the corded column of his neck was strained, his hips jerked incoherently, the hard planes of his thighs slammed quasi-painfully into her supple flesh. She didn't care, if she could get him closer, she would. If she could be part of him, she would. But the beautiful meddling of bodies was all they had. And she knew all they had, somehow, had to be enough.

He threw his head back with the sharp cry of her climax, withdrawing from her one last time and burying himself as deeply as she could take him. His cock jerked against her gripping tightness and the hot wash of his cum gushed inside her. He let out ragged rustles between the spasms of release, pressing his forehead to hers.

They rested against each other for a minute, their choppy breaths flowing together, clenched muscles giving. Steering a hand under her ass, Rio eased her from the table, touring them to the couch and lowering them into the ample cushioning, then dropped jarring kisses on her collarbone, clutching to her body, still hard and aching, fully seated in her flush core. Proceeding to savour every inch of her mouth, still hot and sweet with the aftertaste of pleasure.

Tenderly, he brushed a tangle of golden tresses away from her face. She captured his wrist before he could migrate elsewhere, bringing it to the cushion of her lips and planting a wet kiss on his palm.

If the night at her house had been all about lustful conquering, tonight was nothing but sweet surrender. The night at his house had been impetuous and desperate, tonight was attentive and brewing in fruition. That night, six years ago, flicked the spark of something new. Now it was flame, as old as the beginning.

Beth was unable to rend away from his mellowed dark gaze as the indisputable admission immersed her. The words tumbled from her mouth startlingly, "I love you."

The trademark side grin made its famed and smug appearance, "I know, ma."


	19. Quid Pro Quo Pt3

"Not cold?"

The utterly sated drawl was so rich and low it was almost too much on her senses. Naked and drowsy in his arms, Beth shook her head slightly.

"Nope and don't you dare move," she mumbled out leisurely, squeezing his muscular thigh between hers before he could reach for the overcoat rucked beneath their bodies.

Rio chuckled against her scalp in response; the pleasant hum travelled languidly throughout her overfed nerve terminals. A wandering tan finger ran the outline of her leg, stopping and tracing a lazy oval between her posterior thigh and the sulcus of her buttock.

"We need to do this on a bed more often. You're bruised," he declared when his finger jumped to her elbow to repeat the circular motion.

Curious, Beth tilted her head up from the crook of his arm to see what he was talking about; her elbow was scraped and her defined thut sported a darkening contusion - result from the 1st round on the table no doubt.

A sheepish smile curved her lips, "I'm afraid if we found a bed I wouldn't let you leave it,"

He couldn't help but chuckle and drop a kiss onto a porcelain shoulder. "Is that right?"

"Or we could just stay here, like this. Forever."

"Joined at the groin, huh? What 'bout food and drink? I mean you're a whole meal, ma…" He drawled as his indicator traced the curve of her breast, "But I need sustenance."

Beth tittered as he teased the hiking peak, "Someone can bring us food and drinks. And we just—"

"Fuck 24/7 and be blissfully happy?"

"Yup, we've got it all figured out." she mused wistfully, dropping her head back to his arm, just enjoying the feeling of being in his embrace a little longer. It was so easy to extricate herself in his arms, somehow lost and yet found.

If only it could be that simple; forget the rest of the world and lay there flawlessly merged in their dovetail.

It wasn't. Her body might be jaded but her mind was piping at a mile a minute.

She could see their reflection on the blackened tv screen. He was looking down at her, the deep furrow in his brow indicating that like hers, his brain was piping at a mile a minute.

They should talk. There was so much to discuss and yet nothing seemed right to say.

She could start with the truth; tell him that she had been living a nightmare for the past six years, that her husband held a guillotine over everyone's head. Tell him that she needed help, that she needed him. Tell him she had lied again, that she wasn't that sure about how to get off the pills, that she didn't even know if she could. Tell him all the reasons why she needed them so badly.

But then there were the facts: she owed her children a thriving household the likes of which she never had and that she couldn't throw it away for a thrill. Because it was what this was. They would never work. She had too much baggage, too many problems and so little to offer that he'd get bored of her in less than a minute.

This would be enough until it wasn't. The harsh reality was that she wasn't enough. Everyone that she loved, one way or another, had left her or betrayed her. When they didn't, it was because she did it first. And it wasn't like she had the luxury or even the strength to try taking a leap of faith, she squandered that long ago.

She could say so many things but it didn't matter how many times she flipped the coin, both sides were a loss. All she could do was find a way around this clusterfuckery and end this madness before it was too late. At the end of the day, there were things in this life that were best kept unspoken. Saying I love you was just adding salt to a wound she already knew would remain raw and unhealed.

"I know that face, you ain't thinking nothin' good." Rio chided, chin propped on top of her head, the length of his solid body snuggled - somehow - even closer to hers, while his finger traced the bridge of her nose.

He wasn't wrong. Beth steeled her heart and scuffed her way around his embrace to confront him but once they were eye-to-eye she couldn't bring herself to ruin the sweet moment.

The unusual softness to the curve of his lips made her lower belly clench but the haunting yearning in his dark eyes... that was the source of the tightening in her chest.

They were naked but it was like he wanted to undress her mind and hell she was afraid he just might… if she let him.

She couldn't.

She could give him all of her body but not herself entirely. That physical part - she needed it desperately. It was so overwhelming that she was left shaking, so intense and consuming that it erased all the bad, even if momentarily, it erased everything she'd been through. All the things she ached to tell him and in her weakness didn't dare.

Maybe it wasn't all cowardice, maybe she was stingy and self-seeking but fuck it— she wanted this, she wanted now… him.

"And I know that look, mister..." she tottered with a smug smile, "You can't possibly be ready to go again… We just—"

His eyes flashed with pure verve and her lecture quickly ended when he rolled his hips against her and his expanding erection drove upon her belly.

"Oh," she muttered as bountiful hands found their way to her waist and sprawled on the small of her back.

"You can't blame me. I mean, my baby got back…" he purred, slithering his way to her naked buttocks. _"_ _I like big butts and I cannot lie,"_

Rio squeezed their rounded shape, cracking Beth into laughs in the process.

"You're impossible," she giggled as he pulled her into a straddle over his hips.

 _"I like 'em round, and big…"_ he sang, pawing at her breasts while his thumbs worked her nipples and her giggling quickly quit into another moan.

 _"I want 'em real thick and juicy… "_ he continued, skipping parts of the lyrics to kiss her laugh and breath away, humming the beat against ticklish slivers of skin as his hands reversed to her butt for another playful squeeze, _"Mama, I'm in trouble, beggin' for a piece of that bubble…"_

"If this is you wooing me into butt stuff... let me warn you, your singing isn't that great," she said as the tune reverberated over her breastbone.

 _"Butt stuff?"_ Rio's dark head rose from her neck at warp speed, a shocked gasp coming out of his mouth. _"Mrs Boland! I'm appalled!"_

Beth's flush was immediate and bright; the hollow of his neck seemed the right place to drop a whine of shame and hide her flaming face.

OH, MY EFFING GOD! OH. MY… WHY? WHY WOULD SHE SAY _THAT?!_

It started with a slight quiver of his shoulders, then his chest rumbled with the initial snort of laughter, then he was laughing a full-blown roar that shook all of him and her in the process. Beth quickly hauled her face up to punch him in the arm and it only made him laugh harder.

"Oh, chill, mama! I'm all in for... _butt stuff,"_ the unruly set of eyebrows danced up and down the barely concealed laughter.

Beth rolled her eyes, "You're never letting that go, are you?"

"Mm-mm. Never. You're too cute when you blush."

"And you're—" Too handsome. He was just so handsome. That conquistador loop-side smile was making serious things happen to her. "I hate you."

"You love me," he hummed to the twinge of truth in her heart. His lips found their way up her neck and stole another titillating squirm out of her. "And I sure love to hear you laugh, baby."

He had no idea how much she needed it. Beth buried her fainting giggles into the crook of his neck.

Rio cradled her face, the velvety chocolate orbs melting over the hard corundum blue of hers. "You know what I don't like? This little line here," he said, nudging the score that marked the bridge of her nose.

"That's evidence. I'm becoming an old hag," she said with a faint smile, not ready to let go of the whimsical exchange.

"Nah, you're filling your head with questionable ideas." his fingers buried through her hair and grabbed her nape, squeezing a little to get her attention. "We have to keep our promises, ma. Tell me what's wrong."

"What isn't?" Beth sighed avoiding the midnight eyes watching her like a hawk. "Oh, Rio, it's a nice night. Let's not ruin it."

Rio studied her for a while, head tilted and thoughts hooded behind his dark eyes. And there it was again, that yearning. Sometimes she could swear he wanted to devour her to learn all her secrets. Sneakily using those piercing eyes to denude her from skin, uncovering her wounds and grinding her bones in the process. If she wasn't careful she was sure all he'd leave of her was a rowdy beating heart.

And for sure, the loud thump of her swelling heart was all she could hear until he spoke again.

"Y'know when you tell the truth, your eyes change."

"Do they?" She asked once she unearthed her voice past the lump in her throat.

"They do, little coward. Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say." he drawled, trailing his pinky down the slope of her cheekbone.

She didn't know how to reply and was immensely grateful when he didn't press things further and just held her. His generous hands traced the contours of her spine and moved up and down her thigh. It was like he couldn't stop himself from touching her, as if he couldn't have enough of her when in reality he should hate her just as much.

An overwhelming feeling oppressed her chest. It felt like something as regret, not hers but his. _Did he ever regret her?_

"If you could go back— six years ago or whatever and redo it all, would you?"

The hand on her back stopped mid-caress but his answer was quick. "Fuck, no. Devil is as Devil does."

"Maybe we would never have met. I bet you'd love that."

"Nah… It doesn't matter what choices we made, we would've ended up right here, next to each other."

She couldn't help but lightly crow. "Ah, so you're one of those people that thinks everything happens for a reason?"

"Not exactly. We for sure can't go back in time and there's no preordained blueprint with our fates all mapped out. People make decisions, shit happens. We just act accordingly."

"Well, we could have done with our _shit_ being easier," she pointed out as his hands resumed their lulling rove.

"We could," the dark orbs twinkled with reinvigorated mischief as he grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up his lap. "But I'm sure when it comes to you, I'd make the same choices."

"I think you mean mistakes," her hands curled over his bulging shoulders and nape as he scooped her closer. Close enough for her breasts to adhere his chest, close enough to share his breath, close enough that his silky length was nestled between her labia, close enough to bring colour back to her cheeks and make her feel bothered.

"Nah... doin' you was never a mistake. Emma isn't a mistake."

 _Emma…_ She never thought of the result of that night or him as a mistake. If anything she'd been the one getting the most out of it while he— it was all her fault. Unfortunately, it was just like he'd said there was no way of going back and changing things. All she could do now was make things right.

Round up her kids, sit in her living room and explain that Emma's daddy wasn't daddy. The monthly Sunday's pot roast would take a new dynamic... yup - she could imagine it - her, Dean, Mary Ann and Rio sipping Sherry and exchanging chit-chat before he took Emma to stay the week.

Yeah, right. The little hysterical racket building on the back of her throat was almost impossible to contain.

Dean would first burn the table, beat the absolute shit out of her, or kill her - possibly all the above - before he willingly let Rio set another toe in his dining room.

"What did I say about baking your noodle with nonsense, hmm?" He hummed nudging her nose softly.

Beth let her fingers trail through the hairline at the back of his head, "I'm thinking about what you want… well, if you want to tell Emma— I know is the right thing to do for both of you. I-I just—" she shrugged, "I don't know how to."

Rio pressed his lips between her eyebrows, mellowing the deepened line of worry with a tender kiss. He couldn't bring himself to ruin the mood either.

Maybe he was just a selfish bastard, doing this, urging her to face all her stuff head-on, telling her he loved her, forcing a confession out of her, but he couldn't help himself, he couldn't deprive himself of this, even if it lasted all but five minutes. Five minutes with her felt like a lifetime, and still, for every second spent with her, he couldn't help but want another.

"All I want is what's best for her. We'll figure out what that is together, a'ight?"

"What if what's best is her never learning the truth?" her voice came out barely a whisper, "What if what is best is us cutting all ties?"

He stopped breathing, only a second, but he had to force his tone to stay serene, "Is that what you want?"

"What we want and what's best are not always the same thing."

 _Like he didn't know that._

"I'll do whatever is the best, you have my word." _Even if it cuts me to pieces._

Rio sighed against her forehead, he wasn't ready to jump out of this limbo the night had provided them. "Why don't we raincheck that until we take care of the more _pressing_ matters."

He gave her ass a playful clamp before finding his way between her legs. Her response was immediate, a worked breath leaving her mouth and delicate nails digging into his skin.

He ran his lips over hers, poking his tongue in the sulcus of her bottom lip; he could swear she tasted even sweeter there. All of her sweet as fuck and he'd be damned if he didn't have a sweet tooth.

He especially loved how her nipples got hard like PEZ candy and her cunt gooey like warm taffy. But there was something about the softness of her mouth and the sharpness of her spit-fire tongue that reminded him of cherry cotton candy, she had the most tempting mouth he'd ever kissed; _fucking exquisite._

He had so many women but nothing came even close to how she made him feel, not just the way she drove him crazy hard but the way she filled his heart with the warmth of her laughter, the way he wanted to make everything right for her, even when his fucked up way was the only way he knew.

"Raincheck, huh?" she mumbled against the corner of his mouth. "How noble!"

She should be upset. He was always making sure she didn't forget how much she avoided stuff but then his arm was between her asscheeks keeping her in place. And his cock pulsating warm against her inner thigh while his fingers toyed with the slick seams of her folds.

"I have my days," he hummed, coaching his middle finger inside her, "There's somethin' else you should know about me."

"What's that?" She moaned croakily while a second digit stretched her and curled against her creamed inner walls.

"I'm a former spelling bee champ and I've perfected this little trick with my tongue… It's hard to explain, but..." he purred as a hand skimmed up her anal cleft and his wet middle finger rolled over the rimmed erogenous zone, _"If you bend over... I can show you,"_ he continued to her little gasp of surprise as he prodded her butthole slightly.

All she could do was barf the first thing that came to her mind, "I-I… I have to get home. W-We don't have time for— Oh!" With a little adjusting, his cock was between her pussy lips, easing into her, crushing her aimless demurs just like that. "T-There is no way you were in a spelling bee,"

"Oh, yeah? Try me." He goaded.

She mumbled some sort of agreement as he slowly filled her _everywhere._ And although she tried to recall the hardest written words she knew, her mind went completely blank of any wording longer than four letters - Fuck and so good, being the most recurrent.

"I can't think… when you do—" The finger playing with her went deeper, past the first knuckle, _"That!"_

"When I do what, sweetheart? _Butt stuff?"_

Beth glared at him, sure if her cheeks went another degree hotter, they would certainly explode.

Rio's cocky chuckle transformed into a strained groan as she rolled her hips to sit on him fully and begin a slow to and fro over his girth. To her utter satisfaction, his eyelids narrowed almost to a close and a racketing pant grew past his stubble defined lips.

Her triumph didn't last long; the hand on her thigh crease cinched her harder and he dragged them to the edge of the sofa for better leverage. He sped the pace of his thrust _\- both of them_ \- up a notch, just enough for lust to begin crowding her lower belly onwards the eminent culmination.

"Need me to choose for you?" he simpered against her parted mouth. Her consent was nothing but a moan as he held still, the fat head barely past her entrance.

The slitted midnight orbs flashed complacently and all that Beth wanted to do was wipe that smug grin out of his face. But then he was lacing his sinewy arms around her waist and balls deep inside her.

 _Once. Twice. Trice._

And then a fourth and fifth time for good measure.

She bent forward completely awed by the sudden onslaught, breasts smothered heavily across his chest and her walls melting around him.

"Is that a yes?" he challenged huskily, settling into the same motionless torture.

Beth keened incended, her pussy fluttering with the need to be filled and before she could realize the words rustled out of her mouth, _"God, yes… yes, please."_

Satisfied or compassionate, Rio finally obliged; skimming his hands through the small of her back, he clutched to her buttocks firmly and pounded into her.

 _"Perfect… Flush… Beautiful… Mine."_ He drawled between each methodical thrust, filling her up deep and gratifyingly. "Pick one."

How he saw all that in her, she didn't know. Half of those words were lies but the way he said it, that scraped-gravel tone, it was just so fucking hot.

And then he just stared her in the eye with a yearning way more profound than any word or physical part of him could reach and she'd probably showed just as much because he suddenly tugged at the golden strands at her nape and kissed her deeply.

It was familiar; tongue, lips and need and yet it wasn't a simple kiss. It was too much, too soon, not enough and maybe just too late. At that moment she couldn't measure it, she felt all the feels, all meddling boundlessly.

Lost and found in a visceral outburst of senses and emotions, Beth never got to pick a word. _No sir..._ he bit her lower lip instead, hard enough to make her groan.

Soon enough, his tongue eased the burn, the wet tip drawing a P on her inner lip, then another bite, this time to her upper lip followed the tracing of an E.

His lips proceeded to kiss the corners of her mouth, a moist R and F illustrated over each cheekbone. A gentle nip to her chin and an even more tender brush painted another invisible E on her dimple.

He took his time with kisses and nips descending through the swan likeness of her neck. Her walls cinched stiffly around his thick cock as his finger stretched her past the second knuckle and further.

"Ohhh, fuck!"

Her voice sounded different, hoarse and stilted as if she had gotten laryngitis - or a thick finger all the way up her ass - all of a sudden. She didn't have time to deem the transient discomfort as Rio growled and grabbed her tit. Hot and moist, he snatched her areola into his mouth, his tongue circling a C atop the rigid tip while he took her everywhere.

Beth rocked her hips, hissing as he released her nipple with a delicious pop and avidly seized her wobbling right breast. He groaned again, this time hushed, a suffering bass emitted from the depths of his chest as he keenly eyed the pale globe that overfilled his hand.

Beth held onto the unyielding svelteness of his shoulders while a rough thumb tugged at her teat just before he boarded it into his mouth. The hard suckling made her curl her toes, the flat of his tongue crossed two straight lines to form a T over the firm nub of pink flesh, and God she burned.

Everything tingled and roared. Him. Her. The pearl of perspiration wending down her hairline, the sheen of gilded derma hitched under her fingernails, the pulsating length of flesh plundering her so fiercely, the scorching stroke of his finger coaxing her artlessly open.

 _"Perfect,"_ he droned breathlessly, hooded dreamy eyes blazing with fire as he watched his cock ebbing and rushing into her sopping velvet.

A disapproving lament left her throat as his heat abandoned her, quickly shifting her from his lap to all fours with an innate feline prowess that left her panting. She had hardly found her bearings over the couch headrest when his hands clamped and spread her buttocks wide and the sleek throbbing length of him wedged itself into her cleft.

"Fuck, baby, perfect ain't good 'nough," he drawled against the curve of her neck.

Beth lolled her head to the caress of his lips and the nib of his teeth, arching her back as he pumped his hips. She could hardly contain her giddiness when the foreskin was drawn back leaving the glistening head exposed.

"Beautiful ain't doing you enough justice," he continued.

Roughened palms sailed up her back and gathered tufts of her strawberry mane into a ponytail at her nape, then the broad crown of his cock crammed her from behind.

Beth moaned as he packed her inch by inch, strong fingers clutched at her hip bone and yanked at the tail of hair as she gloved him wholly, the low rumbling groan emanating from him only indulging her further.

"Flush ain't enough of a word the way I feel when I'm in you," he drew back and plunged back in flawlessly. "You're warmer than summer…" her choking gasp was followed by a tremor as the massive open-flat palm found the round of her ass-cheek. The stinging heat rushed all the way up to her face, the flash of pain transmuting into intense pleasure as he gripped her butt and drove into her again and again.

"You're softer than a cloud, and you glow... rosy like sunrise," he strained huskily, "A slice of the sky, that's what you are."

He yanked her gently up and buried his face into the crook of her neck. The soft fanning of her hair draped a moaning shiver from both of them, his arm laced around her ribcage and brought her as close as humanly possible.

"And fuck if the incredible part of all this is that you're mine. _You're mine, Elizabeth."_

To prove his point, an imperious hand seized the sterling pale globe of her breast and honed tusks bit into the soft joint of her neck while he pumped into her again.

It was so fierce that his trimmed pubes prickled her skin, so deep she could feel how tight his balls were. Her moans filled the room, but all she could hear was his heaving breath thriving along with the clap of skin on skin.

All of her was feeling, all of him was touching. There was no knowing where he began or where she ended; affinity, nirvana, bliss, hell… she didn't know, but she felt it entirely, whole and fulfilled.

Her nerve-endings soared, elated with way more than her brain could process but her heart... her heart understood, enchased with something almost palpable, something that she could hold forever, something she had already named. God help her, but she was deeply in love with this man.

The urgency to his thrust had a gravity she was familiar with, a need she knew helplessly and God, she was so close... but no. Before she could abandon herself to the exigencies of her body he'd withdrawn from her again.

"Rio…" her reprimand was unbashful but abruptly short because soon he was on his knees, face between her asscheeks and she was lost.

Lost on the scrape of his stubble on the pristine and sensitive skin. His teeth devised a sharp little bite to the under-curve of her stellar bottom. Then his kiss, incredibly soft and slippery over her wet and plump pussy lips. And his tongue - God, his tongue - first lapping flat all over her juices, and then teasing every corrugation of her puckered hole.

Rio drove her silly with precise twists of his tongue and just as promised, each word was spelled letter by letter over the most sensitive bits of her body, over and over again until she had no option but believe 'em… _believe him._

He clocked and catalogued her every reaction, the cadence that each letter elicited a moan out of her, twisting his tongue this or that way - if to give her pleasure or refrain her from it, she wasn't sure.

All she knew was that she was going mad with the heat fluttering her cores… _Fuck!_ There was something about the B that made her tick, and he already knew it.

With her face buried to the couch upholstery and her back arched to grief, Beth might have forgotten her own name when he clutched her cheeks further apart and slurped at the precious nacre. Then stabbed his tongue deeper and deeper in her ass, fathoming the B shape to her linings - at least she thought it was a B, it was too hard to think while two fingers curled inside her pussy and his thumb circled her clit - and then… then she couldn't think anymore, she was gone.

Literally, she was gone at least a second or two, tiny black white dots flashed behind her eyes while her legs trembled, the rest of her tensed and combusted. The shriek of release died in her throat, instead, a raking sob came out of her agape mouth as his tongue was replaced by his fingers.

Thick and taut, he wheedled her pliable while suckling ardently at her. It was as if her juicy vulva was a delicacy, one he couldn't stop eating, at least until she came again; and boy did she.

Somewhere along the sensorial ride, her body had given in and she laid flat on her stomach, her juices sticky and drizzling her inner thighs, small shivers still controlled her body when he straddled over her legs.

"I'll go slow, just breathe."

The husky growl conveyed through the protuberant knot of cartilage at his throat, made her open her eyes and look at him.

An expression of pure reverence had taken over his dark features. Stunned, all Beth could manage was a nod.

All she could do was relish in the view of every fibre of ripped muscle contracted, revel in the way his veins and tendons leapt up onto his tan arms as his large hands cinched to her creamy buttocks, appreciate the heedful approach as he slowly prodded her rimmed entrance.

She was double-primed but God... he was thick, every creeping inch a challenge she eagerly received. He took his time, retreating and easing into her gently, giving her time to relax and adjust to every bit of him. It seemed like a pleasurable eternity until he was thoroughly seated in her hot engulfment.

Rio slumped over her body with a low groan. "Fuck, baby..."

Beth shivered with the whisper against her ear, the weight and thickness of him crowding her, his lips supple and tender on her nape, then he started moving, each stroke at a slow-burning pace, deeper and deeper until the full low-hanging balls banged against her wet cunt each time.

Raw, overwhelming emotions clamoured through her entire body, croaky moans raked up her throat. Beth searched for something to grip and found his hand, entwining her fingers with his as he slowly increased his gears to a pump-grind-pump thrust that drove her increasingly insane. Soon she was matching each of his thrusts, throwing her ass back at him the best she could.

"Sweetheart…" he strained. "Imma burst if you do me like that."

"It's okay, you made me come more times than I can count."

"If I can help it…" he drawled, slipping out of her and flipping her over. "that number will only keep rising,"

"That really makes me wish we had forever," she said longingly.

Rio spread her knees and prowled his way between her open legs. Sedulously, he leaned his virile frame over her naked body and nudged her nose. "Do something for me, close your eyes."

Beth arched a perfectly rendered eyebrow, doubt and questioning in her eyes, "I— What for?"

"Always so cagey…" Rio tittered, brushing her tousled hair away. "Pretty please?"

Her eyes mellowed at the gesture or maybe his smile but God it was gorgeous how soft and doe-like they turned before she closed them with a mildly rueful sigh, "Fine."

He took an eternity brushing his finger through her face, delighted on how soft and welcoming her body felt beneath him, amazed at how silky and flawless her skin was.

Her snaggle canine peeped as he reached the corner of her mouth, "What are you—"

"Shh!" He licked her mouth to silence her, instead, she laughed. Adorable little scrunchies formed on her nose as she giggled away. As if he wasn't sufficiently in love already, a flock of butterflies hatched all of sudden inside him. With his heart squeezed tight he descended towards her mouth, "I'm showing you forever."

Then he harvested her laugh by picking her supple top lip into his mouth. Then her moan of pleasure by nestling her lower lip between his. Only then he offered her a taste of forever, curling his tongue petulantly in a slow, sumptuous kiss.

When he pulled away she was breathless, her core almost hurt with the need for his intimate caress, her heart thrummed frenzied, heat burst inside her, spreading a rose lustre to the surface of her ivory skin.

"You feel that?" His eyes caressed her face, lingering on her kiss-slacken mouth. "That's how long forever feels for."

"How do you know?"

He leaned back a fraction, not so far that she couldn't still feel his breath over her swollen lips. "I just knew it the second I laid my eyes on you and that mean leg slit of your dress... and these babies," he drawled, dragging his lips over her bared breasts, "I felt it... the first time I kissed you, the last and I'll feel it the next. I know because you are my forever, Elizabeth."

This time she was the one to kiss him. One elegant hand took his nape as her lips captured his sweetly, the other sailed between them and circled his cock. She pumped him gently, his foreskin revealed the pleasure beaded crown, her fingers attested to the cashmere feel of the skin, the very hardness beneath it attesting to how badly he wanted her.

Rio hoisted her leg up to his shoulder as she guided him back into her. Her moan of discomfort was placated with a sharp nip to her calf. Beth's nails raked through his pubis, the terse digits filed up the line of crisp hair on his navel and finally found a fierce grip onto a muscular thigh. Cradling an exquisite white globe in his palm, he pumped shallowly into her.

Rio cased her expressions in his own haze of glory; the glow of sweet pleasure emanating from every pore of hers, vouched by the hardness of her nipples, vibrating in the strum of her palpitating jugular, flowing through her parted lips with each worked out pant.

He tugged her nipple and moulded her breast, finding his way to the soft curve of her belly and the immaculate triangle of fiery curls. Deepening his thrust, he moved his hand back and forth her creamed rosette spreading her juices before dipping two fingers into her syrupy cunt, the succulent squelching sound propelled his cock into a twitch.

It was a lost battle trying to pace himself with that hedonistic goddess. Giddy, he rushed all the way inside the snug ring. Her mewl was swallowed by a gasp as he reached for her pearly bundle of pleasure with his thumb.

"Look at me, Elizabeth." He growled, stroking and rubbing circles around her clit, "I want to watch you clenching down my fingers and my cock while you come."

A feverish heat spread its way through her as she complied to his instruction and stared into his dark smouldering gaze. Satisfied, he applied persistent pressure to the plump flesh and slid a third finger inside her.

Instantly her body convulsed, hips bucking against his intimate caress. His thumb continued its pleasurable assault, flicking the hooded nub, curling his fingers into the rugged sweet spot inside her. Beth moaned as her eyelids fluttered shut, completely engulfed in the raging heat.

"Elizabeth, look at me." The command was compulsory, making her look up at him while he packed her every way possible. "Now come."

Her whole body tensed, coiling towards orgasm and he raced his thrust harder, deeper and faster.

Fresh hot cream coated his fingers as she tamed her cry of release by biting down on her lower lip. The sight alone would have been enough to make him burst, but it was the way she clamped around him that pushed him over.

It was like an exquisite dream watching her whole body consumed by tremors, watching the huge blue eyes dilating into darkness and her hips writhe out of her control. He wanted to make her cum again but his body was too far gone to hold back. He gripped her thigh as hard as her ass clutched his cock and pounded into her one last time. With a thick guttural growl and the softness of her buttocks pressed staunchly against his loins he shot his hot load into her.

He practically collapsed onto her, a tangle of limbs and lips as the storm of orgasm rippled through them. Shaking in the wake of the sensorial overload, they held harbour onto each other, mouths and bodies perfectly melded until the last wave of pleasure finally ebbed.

"Shit, Ma, I'm crushin' you, sorry…"

Before he could roll over, Beth trapped him between her legs, wrapping her thighs around his waist.

"No, stay a little longer," she mumbled against his lips.

He obliged, leaning on his elbows, hands splayed through her hair, eyes droning over her beautifully elated features. It always amazed him how easily he could get lost in the incredibly deep-blue hue of her eyes, and that mouth, man… she was dangerous.

With a satiated sigh, Beth stretched her arms above her head, her back arched thrusting her breasts closer to him. "That was…"

"Extremely hot?" he suggested, pinning her wrists with one hand and grinning down on her.

"I couldn't translate it better," she laughed languidly.

"I can…" he said, brushing a thumb lightly over her lips. "I love you."

With that, he swooped his dark head, kissing that perilous mouth of hers. It wasn't like he was expecting her to retribute the words, he had to squeeze the pulp to get them out earlier that night. Elizabeth might be guarded with words, but she wasn't guarded with her body. And although he understood the raw and primal when her body did the talking, there was so much confined in her, so much that she strived to keep to herself, so much that he had to unravel.

In time, he thought to himself.

For now, he'd have to navigate in-between the lines and make the best out of her cues, appreciate the little things like the disconcerted blue orbs fluttering closed as she gave in.

Not much later, Rio came out of the bathroom to find two piles of perfectly folded clothes over the coffee table and his shoes neatly arranged by the feet. A harmonious breathy falsetto echoed from the freezer where Beth had her head stuffed in. It was probably the most relaxed he'd ever seen her, humming and balancing on one leg while her delicate foot rubbed her inner calf.

"Whatchu singin' over there, mama?" he asked admiring the ivory sliver of ass peeking from under the ducktail of his button-up.

Beth looked over her shoulder, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth and revealing her snaggletooth. "Oh, this song that has been stuck in my head…"

She didn't seem able to stop smiling even if she was watching muscular golden-brown legs disappearing behind jeans. It had been... years since she felt any resemblance to domestic bliss. Because this was what it felt like, she'd forgotten how good it could be indulging herself in ice-cream after a long marathon of mindblowing, backbreaking, wanted sex.

"Why don't you come here so I can listen better?" Rio's thick drawl roused her from the musing.

"Nope!" she quickly refused, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks despite the cold fresh air provided by the refrigerator."I prefer to sing in solitude."

"Is that so?" Rio hummed unimpressed, "I think it's a seedy song about butt stuff and you're just tryna hide your perv musical taste from me."

"I swear if you say butt stuff one more time…" she growled from behind the open fridge door. It wasn't like he was wrong, it was kinda seedy.

"I knew it! It's dirty, ain't it?" he cracked, "C'mon, Ma, I wanna listen to it. And bring some of that ice cream you're shovelling, yeah?"

Caught and guilty she turned around, spoon hanging from her mouth. "It's salted caramel praline," she said like it would explain everything. "And I can play the song but I'm not singing it."

Rio's teasing half-smile made something clench in her. "Fine by me, although you'd get a reward if you sang it to me."

"I might have to pass this time," she said ruefully, eyes feasting on the willowy hips emerged from the low-rise jeans and the slabs of muscled bare torso sprawled over the sofa.

"Oh, shit, you raided Eddie's gourmet stash?" he asked, sitting up straight to make more room for her. "He gonna be pissed and you already made him skip dessert tonight."

"What you mean I made him?" she asked, sashaying her way to him.

Rio's eyes flashed as he watched her braless breasts doing their thing under the fabric of his shirt, then trekked her legs as she dropped herself to a sit over a figure 4 and grabbed her phone.

"You look good wearin' my shirt," he said, grabbing the pint and scooping a mouthful of ice-cream as she fumbled with her Spotify app and the song she'd been humming played on the phone's speaker.

"That's not an answer," she chided. "And if you're so concerned about Eddie why are you helping me finish the tub?" she added, pulling the spoon from his mouth.

Rio shamelessly eyed the slice of blue panties' crotch that peeked between her legs. Heat fanned up her chest, her jugular started drumming on her neck as the indeed erotic rhythm and verses filled the space around them.

"I can always blame you for being insatiable," he said as if he knew exactly the effect he was having on her.

"Oh-oh, you can go and get your own ice cream, mister!" she advised, nestling the ice cream tub against her chest and choosing to ignore the double-entendre of his words, because if she didn't, she wouldn't make it home in time for breakfast. "I'm not sharing anymore!"

"Luckily…" he crawled a long arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer. "I stan greedy blondes with thirsty musical tastes."

"Mm-hmm, how many exactly?"

"Wearing my shirt? Only one."

"Funny," she said impassively.

"A'ight, you wanna know? Fair is fair. You show me yours, I show you mine. How many guys you've been with?"

"Just guys?" she deadpanned calmly, licking the remnants of ice cream from the back of the spoon, and she was pretty sure that sound was Rio choking on his own breath.

"You gonna share the details or just tryin' to make me sweat," he said pulling at an imaginary collar on his neck.

"Sorry to disappoint," she cackled. "I did kiss a girl once. Not much to tell with the opposite gender either. Two guys before Dean. You after… during or whatever." she cleared her throat and scooped a lone praline walnut from the side of the container, "I once let a random guy finger me at a college party _."_

"Was that after or before you'd shotgunned a beer?" he teased.

"College was the first time I could actually be… free." The spoon hung midway to her mouth, a sad smile stirred the curve of her lips. It had felt so good to put herself in front of everything else for the first time. That freedom had tasted like sweet victory but it also came with a greater price; that time the punitive interests had fallen on Annie. She should have never left her alone with DeeDee.

Beth shook her head to avoid the bad memories, "I guess I went a bit overboard with my newfound liberty."

"Clearly not 'nough," he said all serious, "Still way too _butt-tight."_

While Rio cackled at full tilt, Beth somehow learned that it was possible to choke on melting ice-cream.

"I could get mad at you but that would take more time than we have." She said once recovered, "I'm supposed to be up in two hours."

"Plenty of time to finish that ice-cream," he pouted adorably as she licked the spoon again. "You gonna give me some or nah?"

"Depends," she dragged her voice, making a show of scooping a spoonful of creamy goodness.

"On what, _Mrs B?"_

"If I like your answers or not," she frowned a little at what had to be the 10th time that someone called her Mrs B that night. It was weird not coming from Ruby or Annie but she was getting used to the ring of it. "How many guys you've been with?"

His dark eyes flicked maliciously. "Does a threesome count?"

Beth's eyes widened, and she stuffed her mouth with ice-cream in hopes to stop the pink flush from spreading all over her cheeks. "I— o-okay… sure,"

Rio burst out laughing at her stuttering. "That's the closest to gay I've ever been. And the opposite sex… I honestly don't know, I didn't keep a ledger."

"I can imagine," she replied sardonically.

"Now you're mad at me…" he mused.

"I'm not. Why would I?" she pitched, digging the container a bit too harshly, completely aware she was being childish but unable to stop herself. "I'm sure all the women you've been with are glad for the mastery you have acquired by practice."

"Okay," he clicked his tongue and nodded absolutely unconvinced. "Then tell me, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"Fifteen,"

"Okay, same but you're older so… technically, you have more experience than me."

"Technically, you're full of shit!" she grinned behind the spoon she'd just licked clean. "You know, I'd like to know what it is about you that has me on the verge of screaming in frustration while still amusing me at the same time. It's really annoying but you do look good without a shirt."

Rio splurged a half-suppressed snort. "Ah, the truth comes out. You only want me for my looks."

"Oh, yes." she grinned as her hand skimmed up his pectorals and found the charm hanging from the silver chain he wore around his neck.

"It's pretty. What is it?" she asked, turning the medal on her palm.

"My mother gave it to me… protection. Not that I believe in any of that crap but it ain't hurting either."

"You're not on good terms with her, are you?" she stated, noticing the slight grime to his tone.

"I think I remind her too much of my dad and she doesn't exactly approve the lifestyle I chose."

Beth nodded, able to relate more than he could imagine.

"It is what it is, y'know? She's very set in her ways. She studied the mind for years but her roots never left her. I've been psychoanalyzed and bathed in curandera herbal-therapy most of my life. She's a bit… esoteric but she means well," he explained with a loving chuckle. "Meet me in a week and I'll be smelling like a pot roast. She's coming to visit."

"Oh, she's not in Detroit? I thought you said she had a practice?"

"She used to. She moved back to Baja California recently," he said, reaching for the wallet and phone that Beth had retrieved from his jeans' pockets and placed on the coffee table while he was in the bathroom, the rest of their clothes still neatly stacked there.

"We have a vineyard in Valle de Guadalupe," he continued giving her another business card.

The pads of her fingers grazed the groove of a logo on the other side. Curious, Beth turned the card in her hand. An engraved wingspan... an Eagle; Aquila Retreat - Vineyard and Wellness Centre.

The photo of him and his father she'd seen in his loft and the wall lined with bottles of wine immediately came to her mind; his family had a vineyard in Mexico? Retreat? A fucking spa? What about the modest childhood he'd talked about? None of it made sense.

"A wedding gift from my father. He had a thing for grand gestures, nothing greater than buying back your wife's childhood," he explained noting her confusion. "My mother grew up in the vineyard, my grandpa was the foreman. The owners didn't have kids, grew soft on her and sent her to private school and college in California. She met my father in Rio de Janeiro the gap year before her doctorate. It's complicated history but resuming - everything happened too quickly between them, they were married and expecting two months after they met, divorced two years later."

"She didn't know what he did," Beth mused finally feeding him a scoop of ice-cream.

Rio shook his head while the cold sweetness melted in his mouth. "Nope and he didn't tell her because she hated with passion what the cartels did, what he did and he knew she wouldn't forgive him. She eventually found out it wasn't just wine he was storing in the cellars. You know the rest. We moved to Michigan, mom swore never set foot back there or telling me who my dad really was. She eventually remarried a jackass, divorced again. My dad never moved on. I know for a fact there were relapses especially after I made my teen escapade to be with him. They loved to hate each other but my mother never went back on her word until he died."

Beth ran her fingers through the scar on his side, the feel of the ragged flesh under her fingertips in a very living argument that he could have died with his father. "Was it the cartels?"

"I can't say for sure but a car bombing fits their M.O." he shrugged. For a while, he'd been obsessed in finding the culprit, he'd dream about squeezing the bastard's neck while he recovered in a hospital bed and interminable session of physio. In the end, he'd realized he had better things to do than live his life bitterly. "I'm child's play compared with any of these cartel organizations."

Beth froze mid-setting the empty ice-cream container on the coffee table, "The people that were digging about Emma…"

"It's taken care off,"

Well... mostly. Rio thought to himself, watching her lift her ass slightly to slide into her pj's bottoms. There was no reason to worry her further. He wouldn't let anything happen to their daughter or her as a matter of fact.

"Your only problem to worry 'bout is that manager and you're gonna take care of it."

"And then?" she asked softly.

"I'd like to take you on a vacation," he said watching her undo the buttons of his shirt.

"Yeah? Where?" she asked kittenishly.

"Definitely somewhere sunny," he drawled, leering at her breasts. "I just had an epiphany… I need to watch you sunbathe with your tits out."

"I burn easily," she grinned.

"It's okay, I'll be your personal shade. I'll be all over you."

"I should start planning who's gonna take care of my kids then," she teased reaching for her own shirt.

"Nah, we can bring them," he said, covering her hands with his before she could start working on her pyjama top's buttons.

"Obviously you've never taken children on vacation," she crowed as he took the heavy rounds into his palms.

"We'll go to the vineyard, put them to work; there are horses to feed and manure to shovel, land as far as the eye can see, plenty for them to explore and a nice pool for you…" he trailed off, taking her breasts into his mouth and teasing the nipples to hard peaks with the tip of his tongue.

"To sunbathe with my tits out?" she aided, gripping his nape as he suckled on her.

"Hell, yeah." he murmured before working his mouth on the other breast and releasing her nipple with a pop of delight. "Fuck, you're fuckin' delicious... They got even bigger after Emma, didn't they?"

"Emma was huge, cute but huge, all of me got bigger."

"I'm not complaining, Mami. On the contrary." he rasped.

Beth groaned as he trailed a path of wet kisses towards her underboob, shivered breathless as he skimmed her ribcage with the tips of rugged fingers.

"You really need to stop or we won't leave."

"A'ight," he kissed the top of her mounds before bringing the lapels together, closing each button with slow precision, the deep furrow of his brow telling her that he wasn't happy about concealing them. He helped her up, keeping the softness of her hands in his and kissing her palms. "But I'm serious, Elizabeth. I want to take you guys there. It's gonna be Emma's someday."

"Rio..." her face fell before she could manage to hide her disheartenment. "We can't just go on vacation— It isn't that simple."

"I know that but I also know I want to be with you. Now it's about what you want," His arms laced around her lower back and she couldn't stop herself from skimming her palms up his smooth chest as he ushered her closer. "If you want me and you, you're choosin' this life, for you, for me, for your kids, for our daughter. And there ain't nothin' I won't do to protect that life. Whatever life you chose, Elizabeth. Of that, you can be sure."

He wanted her to choose, but not at that moment. At that moment he lowered his eyelids and kissed her deeply, distracting her from the bout of dread churning in her stomach.

Beth tiptoed through the french doors of her bedroom like she never got to do as a teenager - with the first rays of sunrise warming her back.

She undressed to the trickle of the shower warming, too tired and antsy to think clearly and not just from the last piece of chilling advice Rio had given her — Once you root him out, just knock and shoot, don't look at him… just shoot and drop the gun, a'ight? — mostly she was shaken by his assertiveness.

He wanted her, a life with her. A life she was incapable of giving him.

She stared at the pills scattered over the vanity with her mouth a little parched, every cell in her body screaming for the high and the relief that would come with it.

Beth rolled the little pill in her palm, aided by the little voice in the back of her head, for a second she thought of flushing it down the toilet.

 _You don't need it just yet._

But she did. She was afraid if she delayed it too long then she'd lose control and take more than she needed.

Beth popped the pill leaned on the marble with a sigh. She really needed to come up with a schedule and regularly lowering her dosage. It was the only way. The problem was resisting the temptation and sticking to it.

The glow of her sexual satisfaction reflected itself in the mirror but instead of the distorted stranger that usually looked back at her, there was someone else. Unexpectedly, someone hopeful.

Throes of panic climbed up her spine. When there was hope, the fall hurt the most.

* * *

"Someone's been smoked here before for sure," Annie mumbled as Beth turned off the engine.

She wasn't wrong. The 'Simple Stay Over' was located in one of the shadiest areas. As if per cue, a DPD vehicle flared its sirens, the blue police lights flashing as the authorities passed nearby, the three of them holding their breaths in the process.

"Okay," said Beth, "We've got ten minutes— What are you doing?" she asked Annie who'd grabbed the gun and flicked the safety.

"I'm gonna do it."

"No, you're not." Beth glared at her with her best maternal spurn, "Give me the gun."

"It should be me," Annie said, keeping the gun out of her reach.

"Why? Just give me the goddamn gun, Annie."

"Well, you've taken a couple swings now, champ, and you did great but it's time to bring in the A-team."

"What if there's a witness?"

"Come on!" Annie scoffed, waving to the outside, not even a stray dog was walking along the street.

"It could be anyone… a maid."

"There has never been a maid here," Ruby interjected.

"No." Beth insisted, "I can't have this on you."

"Hey, I have done a few things in case you forgot." Annie glared at her with a quirk to her unruly eyebrows, pointing to the covered smiley face tattoo near her elbow.

A reminder of the past that felt like yesterday. She remembered… she remembered Annie crying.

It had happened a couple of weeks after Ruby's dad's funeral. Beth's lanky body had gotten a sudden growth spurt filling up especially on the breast area. That day DeeDee's boyfriend didn't content himself with ogling at Beth and making "funny" remarks that left her embarrassed and self-conscious. She never got the warning signs as she was too young and inexperienced to understand lust past the bleary drunkenness in his eye. The fact that her mother acted so bubbly when he was around didn't help, simply swatting his hairy arms with a laughing reprimand - _Don't sulk Beth! It's just a joke! Right, honey?_

That night the gin had run out after Beth had finished scrubbing the dinner dishes. DeeDee had cooked - fresh bread, perfectly pink prime eye-fillet, real mashed potatoes, not the packaged stuff - as she usually did when she was "doing better". DeeDee always did better when she got what Beth now understood as male validation.

Annie didn't remember the good old days but Beth did. Although they always fought in the way all parents fight, she remembered the times before the real fights. It mostly revolved around DeeDee drinking and spending sprees and her Dad's inability to keep a job for more than a few months. But the night Dad left, they fought because of another woman.

Her Dad was really good looking - a mane of wavy sunkissed hair, pristine dimpled smile on a chiselled jaw, tall and with an athletic build - it was the kind of handsome that people noticed and made them treat him differently. Well educated and charming, flirting was second nature to him. Men wanted to be him and their wives wanted to be with him and of course, her mom hated it.

After the ugly divorce, DeeDee had kept the house, the car, her daughters and a flush monthly allowance. Her father had made little effort to change the ideas DeeDee had inserted with a branding iron in Beth's mind - he'd only wanted to fight for custody out of spite. Nightly calls over goodnight vanished and weekend visits quickly became a couple of hours every other week. Eventually months would go by till they saw him and finally, one day he just didn't show to pick 'em up.

DeeDee just got worse with time. Utterly unstable, her emotional thermostat fluctuated from stints of euphoria to bouts of ennui. Her behaviour was erratic most of the time - or she'd be super attentive and full of ingenious ideas to the point of being completely obsessed with something or she would be utterly uninterested in everything - Beth and Annie included. Waking up every morning was like opening a box of chocolates with Forrest Gump, unpredictable and yeah, scary.

Once, while Beth was at school, she took Annie and disappeared without a note or a call. Ruby's mom called the police. Her father was nowhere to be found and the CPS placed her with her grandma, a woman she'd seen twice, both times forced to wear the Sunday dresses she hated so much and whose living room held so many heirlooms that Beth was afraid to exhale too harshly and break something invaluable.

Beth thought she'd been left behind. There were days her mother looked at her face and only saw her dad; those days she'd make sure Beth knew how much she hated him and her subsequently. God, she had been so sure she was left behind that time.

But DeeDee came back three weeks later with an RV, a new boyfriend and the homemade soap business idea that would eventually dry up their bank account and her line of credit.

After that, a string of men coming and going became a part of their lives. DeeDee fell in love with every guy she ever dated whether they were handsome or ugly, smart or stupid, sweet or cruel, it didn't matter. DeeDee was filling the void alcohol couldn't, not caring who she swirled along her path of self-destruction.

Jack, the boyfriend of the month, worked for Xerox. Some yuppie desk-job that had granted him a potbelly and a wheezing cough from too many cigarettes. At least he was always clean and had a decent paying career - unlike her last boyfriend, a perpetually greasy mechanic that had disappeared with her jewellery box in the middle of the night and hadn't ever returned.

 _God that had been awful…_ DeeDee had spent weeks in bed too intoxicated to even reach the toilet… if Beth had to scrub the carpet clean of puke one more time— It wasn't like DeeDee was gonna stop drinking but at least she wasn't using the bottle as a crutch.

Beth knew it wouldn't but God, she really hoped things worked out with Jack. He made DeeDee laugh and he was nice when he wasn't too drunk, always had candy in his pocket, laughed at Annie's unquenchable chatter and even helped with her homework once or twice.

She hadn't been surprised when he intervened in her favour when DeeDee started nagging her to go to the corner store and buy one or two bottles of gin, reasoning that Beth had homework and the faster she'd do it the more time they'd have for themselves.

Then Jack had called her babydoll and - like always - DeeDee flourished like a red rose in Jack's embrace. Beth still remembered rolling her eyes, swearing that she would never swoon like an idiot over a man, even if Tom McBride made her feel things; she would never behave like that.

Her mom had kissed Jack's lips and cleaned the carmine smear with the pad of her thumb before waving goodbye. Annie who was watching Beauty and the Beast on the VHS for what had to be the hundredth time didn't even blink, bowed upside down on the chintz upholstered couch. Beth shook her head. She loved that movie.

"She isn't even listening, is she?" Jack murmured over her shoulder as they walked to the kitchen table where Beth usually did her homework. "Math still your nemesis, huh?"

"Yeah," he was a bit too close, voice dragging a bit too much as she quickly hunkered down into the chair. "I just have a hard time with algebra."

She was an okay student but she didn't really like school; she found it boring and she didn't really motivate herself to study. She'd casually get an A, some subjects came easier than others, although she really hated math. But she had decided she wanted to go to college and have a fine-ass job, buy a house, take Annie from here until she could do the same, and then one day marry and have kids she would love and give everything they deserved, everything she never had. Maybe with Tom, but who knew?

She and Annie had an inheritance from their paternal grandmother, it wasn't much so she'd still need good grades to be eligible for financial aid, so she'd started to apply herself recently. There was enough money so they didn't end up starving and the house was theirs - but Beth wasn't counting chickens that hadn't hatched. She knew it wouldn't last forever especially since DeeDee had no control whatsoever and no plans to get a job. There were weeks they had no food in the pantry and the next she would buy half the grocery store, the electricity went out once or twice until she finally got a hold of the bank account and learned when and how to pay bills.

"Well done." Jack praised as she solved the problem with the formula he'd indicated, curling a strand of long copper hair around his finger, "You're such a pretty girl, Beth, and smart too. It's lovely to see you out of those boy clothes you wear all the time."

"Uh, thanks." uncomfortable Beth brushed her hair back. She'd started to dress more feminine later. She did like flowers and the cute flower print dress had been her mom's. It was so rare to have a mother/daughter moment with DeeDee that she'd practically worn the same dress since she'd given it to her.

"You're turning into a fine young woman. You have a boyfriend yet?"

"No," she said quickly, _too quickly._

"No?" he laughed, a chubby indicator brushing up her unclad forearm. "Hasn't a boy tried to touch them yet?"

Beth had jumped from the chair, literally jumped as he tried to grab her breast, her face burning in shame and fists balled as the chair fell backwards. "I-I think y-you should go. I can finish— I-It's late. I-I have school early."

"Maybe up your leg?" Jack ignored her, trying to reach for the inside of her inner thigh. Beth leapt away before he could touch her. "No one, huh?"

She backed against the wall until she had nowhere else to go. She had never been so frightened in her life. "What are you doing?" the words came out almost like a shout as he closed into her.

"SHHH!" he shushed, quickly covering her mouth with a clammy palm. "It's okay, Beth! I'm always good to you and your little sister, aren't I? I could teach you so more than math..."

Before he could pin her against the wall Annie roared out of nowhere, branding her fluoro-orange arm cast in the air and launched for him. "LET HER GO, YOU FAT PIG!"

Even more shocked than Beth, Jack, didn't have time to react before little Annie yelled KIAI at the top of her lungs and kicked him in the shin with a might beyond her years and the wise teaching of _Sensei Splinter_ from _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles._

The man cursed enraged and Beth kneed him in the family jewels before he could do much else. The potbelly wiggled as he fell to his knees grabbing his parts and groaning in pain. Annie, not satisfied, smacked him in the head with the cast and another loud KIAI while Beth grabbed the cast-iron fry-pan drying on the rack. "Get out!"

"You ungrateful little bitches!" he wheezed.

"Get out! NOW!" Beth pulled Annie behind her and lifted the heavy pan over her shoulder, more than ready to take a swing at his head, "And don't you ever come back here!"

"Your mother…"

"Don't you worry about her, she doesn't need to know the kind of garbage you are! You know who will know though? Dominic." She nodded towards Annie. "Tell him about Dominic."

Annie looked at her confused and scared. God, she was so brave. "H-He's our neighbour, he plays with me on the street. He's my friend."

"That's right he is! What else is he, Annie?"

The uncertainty in Annie's voice faded as Beth nodded, "He-He's a very very big— LIKE THIS BIG!" Annie continued on her tippy-toes, arms all the way up high.

"That's right! 250 lbs of pure muscle that lynches piece-of'-shits like you for breakfast. If you come near my mom or us again his… teeth are the last thing you'll ever see! GET OUT NOW!"

Both of them jumped as the man got up with a growl, Annie raising her fists ready to strike again and Beth gripping the metal so hard she was sure the indentation would stay for hours. He went but not without throwing a rain of insults.

Beth only lowered the pan once the door clicked shut, by then Annie was crying and she was shaken, more than she'd have liked to admit.

She'd pulled Annie into a hug so tight she was sure she'd crush her. "Oh, Annie! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Why was he doing that to you? Why did he say all those awful things?" Annie sniffled against her shoulder, "We have to tell DeeDee! He's a bad man!"

"Annie… we can't. If we tell her she's gonna be upset and start drinking too much again. Things are better now. She said—" Beth trailed off. DeeDee had said all those things before, many times, there was no point in deluding her sister any further. "He won't come back ever again, okay? Pinky promise."

"Because we lied about Dominic?" Annie asked as they interlaced their pinkies.

Beth laughed and cleaned her tears with her thumbs. Dominic was indeed a friend, big, and neighbour alright but… a dog, the neighbours' Mastiff. "Half of the truth isn't a lie. That's how we'll tell DeeDee, okay? Jack just… left in a hurry."

"When Roger didn't come back, she just..." Annie trailed off, "Do you— You think she's going to be fine this time?"

Beth didn't have the courage to lie. Annie's eyes were telling her she already knew the harsh truth. DeeDee would spiral again.

"We'll get through it."

"How do you know that?"

"Because we always do," Beth assured, straightening one of her mini-butterfly hair torts. "Together."

And they did, they coped. To DeeDee's horror, Beth chopped off her hair and dyed it black, dusted her Dad's leather biker jacket out of the closet and wore the oversized thing every day to school that year along with fishnets and horridly applied eyeliner. She didn't scare Tom but it took him almost the entire year till she let him kiss her again. Annie removed her cast and drew a smiley face on her arm with magic marker. That smiley face would turn into a tattoo many years later.

Beth couldn't let Annie do it. She had coped with enough. She shook her head vehemently. "I'm the one who got us here, I did this."

"He did this!" Annie quavered. "The son of a bitch tried to rape me."

Beth knew her rage better than anyone. She knew how that rage consumed you inside out and churned into defeat leaving you powerless. Annie didn't need to know that defeat. This was her fight to conquer.

She ordered her brain to said the words before she changed her mind. "Keep your head down. Just—"

"I know. Knock and shoot."

"Don't look at him…"

"I got it."

"And don't forget to drop the gun so that the—"

"Beth…" Annie grabbed her hand and squeezed. _"I got it."_

All that Beth wanted was to stop her little sister as her wedge heels plunked the asphalt with resolve. She didn't look away as Ruby stated the truth. "It doesn't matter. It's on all of us."

She didn't look away as Annie knocked and pointed the gun at eye level. She didn't breathe as she banged her fist on the door again and… nothing happened.

It was incredibly hot in the room. Or after hours of waiting, it seemed to be. Beth puffed and pulled at the collar of her open blouse. Beth clocked Annie and Ruby mouthing at each other.

"Still wrangling over the room's price/location?"

"We are stuck here until that turd comes back… might as well do it now,"

"Well, then you start." Annie muttered to Ruby's eye roll.

"What…" Beth slanted her eyes, sitting upright against the headboard. _"Is… This?"_

Ruby cleared her throat. "We're just wondering if there's anything you want to tell us? Maybe?"

"Really? You wanna do the bad cop/good cop thing?" Annie glared at Ruby before turning to Beth. "We know, alright?"

Beth shook her head slightly, totally confused. "You know what?"

"The red flags are all there. You have been cooped up since you shot Dean..."

"I have not been cooped up!" Beth rebuked.

Annie ignored her and continued. "C'mon, Beth! We haven't set eyes on you unless the business is saving our necks from being swallowed by this gigantic, ever-spinning... snowball."

"Yeah! I've been a little busy! I have four children, plus Dean... who's been another child!"

"Well, it's either that or your vagina is being pounded by gang-friend and you just choose to ignore us."

Beth rolled her eyes at her. "It's none of your business who pounds what of mine, kay?"

"Oh my God! You're such an idiot _eLiZaBeTh iReNe bOlAnD!"_ Annie puffed exasperated. "Your husband cheats, lies and diminishes you and you just— let him off the hook. And now gang-friend! You look at him like he held a torch for you for six years! Let me assure you, he did not. You just can't help yourself but fall for another prick in disguise, can you?"

Beth exhaled harshly. _This bitch…_ first tells her to ride gang-friend's dick into oblivion and now— unbelievable! "Maybe you should open a window in your glasshouse, honey."

"Will you two stop! Let's not take this down that path!" Intervened Ruby. "Beth, you've been… acting up, for months now."

"What she said... you're blue _again,_ "

Beth snapped her head between the two women. "I— I'm not depressed, okay! I haven't been _acting up,"_ she scoffed, "That's bullshit considering everything that's been going on."

"Sometimes it's like— you are not even here," Annie described. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You look like a zombie and when we get to see you, you act like one."

"I'm just goddamn tired! When was the last time you guys had a full night of sleep?" She snapped before Annie could open her mouth, "Don't answer that! You'd sleep through an apocalypse."

"What this knucklehead means it that we're concerned about you…" Ruby said placidly.

"And you guys seriously thought this was the place and time for a pseudo-intervention?" She raised her hands and stared at them in disbelief. "That turd might come in at any second…"

Annie pursed her lips and crossed her arms. Ruby cocked her head, her famed won't take shit face on. And Beth felt her back pressed against a figmental wall.

"I'm fine!"

"The last time you said you were fine we found you two weeks later, in bed, smelling like stale pizza and desperation," reminded Ruby. "Not my kind of combo."

And boy did she remember. Postpartum depression had made a number on her. Rejecting Jane after birth for no specific reason had been catastrophic. She'd hit rock bottom at warp speed, it took almost a year to snap out of it - if you could rule an unplanned one-night-stand with a tattooed stranger the last step out of the depression well - she certainly wouldn't have gotten there if it wasn't for Ruby and Annie.

"It's not like that,"

And it wasn't, she wasn't lying. Sometimes it seemed way worse. But this time she was going to be out of the rabbit hole before anyone found her there.

"Once this is over— it's over." She assured them.

"So when this is _over_ you won't mind going for a psyche check-up, right?"

"You are aware that those things are like total bosh and that I can sell snake oil back to the salesman, right?"

Ruby rolled her eyes at her. "Yeah, I'm aware. Like you're aware we need you, all of you, healthy. So help me God, I'll drag you myself to a fucking doctor before I have to see you stank like that… again!"

Beth just stared at her best friend for the longest time, words she didn't dare say suffocating her. Ruby who told her she should wait and Beth who had seen no other option but to marry Dean. Ruby would have never stayed in the kind of position she was. Ruby would have left before the situation drag. Ruby who was as per usual right. Maybe it was really time she sought professional help.

"Fine! I'll go see whomever, but I hate you."

Ruby made her way to the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist. "And I hate your face."

"Come here," roosting her head on her friend's shoulder, Beth reached for Annie, who quickly made way to her side with apologetic puppy eyes. "Guys, don't worry about me, I'm gonna be fine. I'm fine. I just have a lot of things going on and hardly any sleep."

"Either way, I'm an idiot but I'm here for you no matter what," Annie hugged her for a moment before sniffing the air.

"Both of us are." Ruby assured with a shoulder squeeze.

"What is that smell?"

"I've been telling myself its old farts," Beth said as both women jumped out of bed like the mattress would give them cancer.

"No, it isn't." Ruby gagged, her voice barely a horrified whisper.

"You think he—"

Annie hummed in agreement, grabbing one of the titty magazines on top of the bed. "Yup, he did! These are as sticky as Satan's ass crack!"

"Oh. My. God!" Beth lunged from the bed.

"Congratulations, you've been sitting on a stain of jizz and hot wings dressing!" Annie cackled in disgust. That was when Beth's phone buzzed. "At least we're wearing gloves."

"We have to go," Beth muttered as she ended the call, "It's Boomer, he's… dead."

* * *

"There she is!" Rio grinned as she walked through Lucky's doors, "Attagirl! You did it."

The first thing she noticed - after him - was the neon sign missing on the wall. Then the waft of stale beer hit her like a slap in the face and God, she welcomed it. Shrouded by a halo of light that outlined the slopes of his cheekbones, Rio's crooked smile made her foolish heart twinge.

Brushing her fingers across the soft sheen of the wooden counter, Beth made her way across the bar. Avoiding Rio's eyes, she nodded a greeting towards Bernard; the bar's manager had lifted his head from the books at Rio's shout. Besides a young bartender behind the bar stocking bottles, only two other people were in the bar this early in the morning.

She sat on the edge of the stool next to his, clutching her bag against her belly like her very own personal lifebuoy. He looked dapper with his beard closely clipped. The cordovan shade of his button-up enhanced his melanated skin furthermore. They hadn't seen each other since the night at the warehouse, barely two weeks prior yet so much had happened.

"You're a boss now." He chuffed with a bright smile, leaning into her and taking her by surprise with a smooch to the lips that she couldn't avoid but respond to.

The unexpected caress launched her heart into a fierce pounding rhythm, a wave of desire swept her, fire blazed its way through her limbs even when the words churned in her gut cause, of course, they weren't true. She wasn't shit.

A strong hand cradled her jaw, Beth instinctively closed her eyes as she received the Devil's very own kiss. A familiar ache latched itself to her insides, the brisk whiskers chaffed the soft skin of her upper lip and the scent of him lingered on her airways. It wasn't cologne but soap, subtly masculine and just wallowing underneath the always present layer of peppery gunpowder.

Beth wondered if he exercised his aim every day or just walked around shooting people on a daily basis.

What she'd learned these last few days — besides that thawed human meat doesn't look that different from beef — was that what she knew about him was virtually nothing and what she knew couldn't be trusted.

The chessboard remained and they were still very much in-game, and as much as he begged differently she was just an expendable pawn to him.

Once she did a quick Google search on the Aquilla Winery and scrolled through the website she found out that the vineyards had been planted a little over 75 years, one of the oldest in Mexico. Laura, Rio's mother, oversaw the wine production and also ran the centre, which had been fully operational for the last two years and provided a vast array of treatments and therapies. As it turned out _Wellness Centre_ was just a fancy term for a five-star rehab clinic.

 _So much for believing in her._

The discovery had left a bad taste in her mouth but it wasn't until she got a visit from his lawyer early that morning that she perceived the gestalt, and God, it hurt. It hurt so much just to look at him.

"We gotta celebrate." Bedroom seducing eyes dipped to her floral clad breasts, "Your usual poison?" He didn't wait for her answer, ordering bourbon on the rocks for both.

"No, thank you." She said to the woman but she was already pouring the amber liquid over ice. "I'm not staying."

"You sure?" He asked amused, "The hotel on the corner was renovated, I hear the new beds are quite comfortable."

"Yes, I'm sure." Her answer was firm but she still felt her cheeks flame as she fished for the storage unit's key in her tote.

It took an embarrassing amount of time to find them and the beguiling way he was grinning at her wasn't helping. Finally, the small shape touched her fingertips, right in the small pocket she had placed it and the first section she'd searched. With a rueful sigh, she slid the key over the counter, "I just came to give you this back."

He grabbed her hand before she could slip away, thumb caressing back and forth over a small yellow-ish bruise just above her pisiform. She quickly twisted away from his relaxed grasp, glad for her blouse's extra sleeve length, because that bruise was Dean's fading thumbprint.

The rest of her husband's hand was still stamped around her wrist and forearm with the same paling tint. That memento from their confrontation over Kenny's binge with a certain retirement cake would fade, the words exchanged though… Beth wasn't sure if they ever would.

 _"We need to be more present. Put the phone down once in a while."_

 _"It's not about the phone," Chastised Dean._

 _"I heard a thing on NPR that said phones were—"_

 _"Maybe it has something to do—" Dean sighed as his voice raised, he looked over his shoulder to the three youngsters watching a movie before closing the door behind him._

 _"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that his mom shot his dad. Maybe it's cause her shady-ass is running around all night doing God knows what for that psycho gangbanger. Maybe it's about the white powder he saw her snorting."_

 _Her face fell, white as the bedsheets she had separated for the next load on the machine. Dean continued, "Yeah… I wonder what your podcasts have to say about that."_

 _Fury rose from an instant boil to her bile, "Why not take your pick on one of the times I had to explain the bruises you leave on me, huh? Or the string of women you had affairs with? Why don't you explain to him the debt you drowned us in, huh? The reasons why we can't buy him a new laptop or the Jordans he wants, huh? Why don't you start from the beginning, with what really put us in this place?"_

 _"You fucking did it!"_

 _His large hand wrapped around her wrist with an echoing slap, the strong fingers cut her circulation almost immediately. He pulled her towards him, twisting her hand with the help of his thumb until a yelp left her mouth. Every ounce of fight-response in her began to evaporate at an alarming pace but was replaced by equal amounts of fear._

 _"You did! When you slept with him and I had to raise his daughter. You did, when you went back to him and asked for more than you could handle. You did, when you opened that big mouth and told him about Emma. You're the reason he's ruining our lives. It's on you, all of it, and you're fucking delusional if you think otherwise."_

 _"Everything on me, huh?" She'd spat resentful._

 _"Everyday I regret having those kids with you." He'd spat. "You know he takes after you and all your fucked-up family, right?" Dean whistled, indicator drawing small invisible circles around his temple. "Not right in the head."_

She still remembered how she'd winced at his words; it hurt more than the hand seizing her cruelly, more than a fist to the face and a kick to the gut combined. More than anything she knew him capable of doing to her. He was talking about their children, his flesh and blood, his first born… her baby boy. How could he have said something like that?

 _"He has anxiety you ignorant dick! You won't stigmatize him! I won't let you!"_

 _"Well, good luck with that shrink we can't afford." Mocked Dean, finally letting go of her arm._

 _"We'll dip into his college fund to pay for it—" Beth's voice flattered at Dean's face, "Oh. My. God. No, tell me you didn't. I didn't sign—"_

 _"I forged your signature. That money has been gone for years."_

Ice coated her skin as the memory swept through her. Beth clutched to her purse so tightly that her knuckles went white and her palms clammy against the suede.

Rio blinked as if he was noticing something was wrong with her for the first time. _Well, flash news bucko! Everything was wrong with her._

Rio's hand beckoned her tense posture. "What's going on, ma?"

"Why don't you tell me?" She rebuked with a spiteful curl to her lip.

He looked honestly puzzled and Beth had to remind herself that he was just one step above from Dean's bullshit. She had to recall every single line from the pep talk she'd given herself on the way to the bar because those eyes of his were making her relent.

Her day had started so differently. A hum had been buzzing under her skin since he'd texted her last night asking her to meet him. She was such a fool, brimming with excitement to see him, to hear him say something nice or make her smile with some silly remark.

The expectation of a good time had run along with her keen nervousness. She had to tell him that their problem was gone even when she hadn't dealt with Boomer herself. And then there was that raincheck on Emma.

The unexpected knock on her front door just after Dean left for work left her with nothing more to guess. She'd been played, again.

"A Gretchen Zorada paid me a visit earlier this morning. Said she was your lawyer. Some very interesting questions she had for me. Especially about Emma."

Although she was all polite correctness, Beth had felt immediately intimidated by the lawyer. Unconventionally beautiful and groomed as if she'd jumped straight out of a photoshoot for Forbes magazine, the woman had made herself comfortable in Beth's domain - the kitchen - the ugly grandma apron Beth's was wearing did nothing but remind her of the contrast in their status.

Between fakes smiles and sips of unsweetened coffee, they talked about Rio's racketeering charges, all dismissed since the key witness had failed to give his deposition - the glint in the woman's telling her she at least suspected Beth had something to do with that. She had a few questions for her regarding Final & Frugal and how the FBI had connected Rio to other small businesses but Beth had nothing to add, she had no idea he washed money elsewhere at the time.

And she hated, absolutely hated, how her hand shook as she refiled her mug as Mrs Zorada meandered to the fridge's door, observed the photo magnet of Emma's birthday and bared her true intentions.

She'd never felt so stupid in her entire life than when she was enquired about Emma's paternity and her moral, financial and mental fitness as a parent.

Maybe until now, because here she was, looking at him, completely heartbroken but still bleeding love. God, she was an idiot.

"Is this where you get your kicks from? Manipulating people?" she spewed.

"Elizabeth, I didn't send her, aight? Yes… I had a talk with her about my options but I—"

 _What an absolute crock of shit._

A sudden caustic laugh interrupted him, brought by the boiling anger that flared up her esophagus at his words.

"You what? You think I lose my mind every time you whip out your magic cock? That just cause you _screw_ me so good I'll be blind to your machinations?"

The bar went silent all of a sudden. The liquor bottles didn't clink against the mirrored shelves any longer. Bernard's head still hung deep into the book but his fingers hovered, stilted over the calculator's digits.

It took her a long second to realize she had raised her voice, a whole lot of octaves. One of the patrons was staring at them with interest and the other was leaving.

The cold zephyr that rushed through the swinging exit door made Rio react. He grabbed her arm just with enough determination for her not to drag her feet behind and slithered them through the empty pool tables.

The office door slammed shut behind them, and his seething large frame leaned, arms crossed against the solid desk. His jaws ticked and his tongue poked the corner of his mouth before he licked his lips. "What am I doing exactly, Elizabeth?"

"I don't know, setting me up for murder maybe?"

Telling her to leave the gun at the murder scene was a clear telltale sign.

"Well, let me make it easier for you: That one won't stick, it wasn't me who did it!"

"Setting you up?" He scoffed in disbelief. "We had an agreement and by now you ought to know I ain't no double-dealer."

"What do you want to call it then? Revenge? Oh, no, not for Mr Righteous. No, for you it's all about that an-eye-for-an-eye bullshit! Oh, wait! What did you call it? _Reciprocity?"_

Rio just stared at her impassive, his silence unexpected. There was something about his stern demeanour, something candid and rightful that made her feel like the culprit instead of the victim. In a way, wasn't she? She'd been the one to let him in. It was all her fault. Dean had been so right, it was all because of her.

She had no money, but she wasn't invalid, she had her hands and her feet and she could do something, bake, sew, scrub toilets… fuck, there were worse things she could turn to. Desperate times, desperate measures, right? What was the difference at this point?

It didn't matter, she'd find a way. She would get clean, help her son and keep Emma because the last thing she wanted was for her daughter to be in contact with him. She had many flaws but at least she knew herself, knew that in the end, she would always put her children first. She couldn't say the same for Rio, not when this charade was his way to get back at her.

Her reflective rant ended with a sniffle - out loud - unfortunately.

"I might not be the mother of the year, I've made mistakes but I love my children. I'm not—" the voice that had been pure gloat before, now was hardly a murmur, the tears swelling her eyes betrayed her and her tone abated into a sob. "I'm not a bad mother."

"I never said you were,"

"Why would you say all those things? Why would you say you need me, love me? Why make me say it back?"

"Because it's the truth, I love you."

Beth shook her head vehemently like it would stop the deceitful words from reaching her brain. She braced herself, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

"Why would you do this to me?" She muttered shakily.

Her heart raced to a thump that couldn't possibly be good for her health. Painstaking cramps pinched her loins and a corporeal surge anguish crept stickily up her flesh.

God, not now you stupid worthless piece of shit! Not. Now. She couldn't crack. Not right now.

The wave of wretchedness swept through her and Beth knew if she didn't keep it under control it would swell into a legged tsunami. One that crushed anything good.

She didn't want to face that monster, one that had grown too big for its stubby little legs and just stumbled around crushing whole cities. She couldn't face it, she wouldn't survive it.

This urge to crawl under her own skin in hopes that she could block everything almost sufficed. Almost.

Under Rio's absolute astonishment she punched her own forehead a couple of times, so hard that her hair sprung around her scalp and an indistinctive red mark formed on her pale skin.

What the...

Everything stilled until a shaky breath wheezed through her parted red lips. He didn't have time to analyze the momentary blankness set in her eyes because that dangerous lil' mouth spewed the most atrocious accusation ever.

"Admit it, you just wanted to send me to rehab with your mother so you could prove I'm unfit for mothering."

It made him snap, after all, he had hot-red blood thrumming through his veins.

"What the fuck, Elizabeth! I'm just trynna help you!" His voice rumbled without even being his intention.

But if he thundered, she yielded with a downpour. "I don't need your help! I don't need you!"

The strain in her voice vibrated with something more than the obvious anger and hurt. It was as if she needed to have a reason for this absurdity. Like she wanted to believe her words desperately.

Rio scoffed as a piece of the puzzle clicked in place; the little coward needed a reason to squirm away from making a choice. A reason not to choose him.

She was very wrong if she thought it would be this easy.

He wouldn't lose her again. Not like this.

"And yet... here you are pickin' a fight with me." With his inborn feline prowess, Rio propped himself from the table only stopping once they were nose to nose, sharing the same breath. "Is that what you need, Elizabeth? A war with me?"

She jutted her chin defiantly but the answer didn't come. The usually full lips were compressed into a thin line. It was her eyes that got to him. They always did no matter the nature they flared at him. This time the strangely gelid blue irises scattered ice chips through the air, most finding his heart as a big red target.

He tried to form a plan of action. He knew all the strategies to win, the risks he should take, the golden rules to follow and yet for the first time in his life, he didn't know how.

If this went through the victory was already hers. When you go to war it someone, you want 'em emotional. You want 'em angry. The more they feel, the less they think.

All of the above applied to him.

Rio leaned closer. So close he could savour the frisson of desire lingering between them, packed in the particles of oxygen they breathed. Her lips parted and the blue orbs fluttered closed.

He tilted his head, slanted his eyes and plastered the gloating smile he was far from feeling.

"You sure you want it?" he rasped at mere millimetres from the taste of her mouth, "Because if we fight it isn't going to be a zero-sum game."

"Oh, I'm sure it won't be…" she licked her lips as if the moisture could ease the huskiness of her tone, "Players like you only love when they're winning. Everything was supposed to be transactional between us but there was never an ounce of balance in your sick little games. I've always ended up losing."

She poked her own chest so hard it hurt but now that she was going it was impossible to stop spilling everything that was hurting her insides.

"Y'see, the thing about being a constant loser is that there is nothing left to lose. So go ahead, put the whole fucking legal circus at my back and I'll fight you till my last cent, and after that, I'll fight you till my last breath because that's the only way you going to get your hands on Emma."

In silence, an unyielding first battle crossfire between midnight and sapphire gaze and Rio took the first hit, delivered by her curled luscious lips:

"You better be ready to pull that trigger when the time comes."

His jaws clenched and ground but he didn't release her stone-cold gaze.

This whole thing stank but he was at a loss to decipher what had caused a simple misunderstanding to blow up so high. He knew it was useless to defend himself, there was so much you could say when someone didn't want to listen. And hell, it wasn't like he was going to back away from the challenge, either of them wouldn't, it wasn't in their nature.

But damn, he was tired, tired of her doubting every single word and second-guessing each of his actions. And foremost, he was hurt.

She'd hidden Emma from him and he'd try to understand the whys, she'd lie to him more times than he could count and he'd found a way to look past it, he'd found a way because he loved her. But was love supposed to hurt? It hurt when he has her, it hurt when he doesn't. Fuck, he was just so fuckin' tired of hurting.

Rio brushed past her and made his way to the door, opening it ajar. His tone lacking any type of interjection, "Would you please leave?"

He stared at the confused blue orbs and her lush glazed lips slightly parted in surprise and he knew it. He knew it didn't matter how much it hurt, being without her was much worse.

So he watched her muster her pride and hook the tote handles over her shoulder. Admired her as she jutted her chin and marched to the open door without another word. Inhaled her scent as she brushed past him, holding back his itching hand from grabbing her delicate wrist and stopping her from leaving, holding back from whispering his heart desires:

 _If you change your mind… the kingdom is still in your name._

He knew what her answer would be:

 _I won't._

* * *

Elizabeth Boland's scream filled the air as the Vette's window disintegrated.

"Fifty?" he asked, casually rolling the crowbar in his hands.

"Stop it!"

Oh, she thought her bossy mommy tone would stop him? Funny.

"Take it up with HR, yeah?"

"Who is HR?" Dean Boland asked hysterically.

Rio stopped the arch of his swing midway to look at him, "Duh, me."

The disturbing and abrupt laughter came just short of the sound of glass breaking once again.

 _Unhinged._

That's how he felt.

Under his tight grip, the crowbar felt almost as malleable as the Vette's windshield shattering under his fury.

Lately he'd been spending so much time over the edge that he didn't even know where the line was anymore.

After their confrontation at the bar's office, he'd kept her under the scope all while he dived into what never failed him - work.

She toyed with his money and laid it to waste in the hands of the idiot she called her husband while he'd spent weeks neck-deep in adrenaline and brutality, striking out at any sign of danger.

In his opinion, you're allowed to be a bit paranoid when you wiped out one of the major crime organizations from the map of Detroit and expected retaliation from the interested parties. It was a small price to pay when it meant the safety of your loved ones. Now, transitioning back from a bloodthirsty rampage? Now, that was a bitch.

That was what he was trying to do when he spotted her at the bar. Do something _normal._ Try and feel human again. Have a drink. Flirt a bit. Find a woman that would feel good in the sack. Forget _her._ Forget the body parts mauled by sawed-off shotguns. Forget the feeling of Bravta's golden boy, Nico Rascalov, sticky hot blood wending down his face. Forget... at least momentarily.

But nah.

He wasn't allowed even one fucking day, hour or minute without her harrowing.

As if that wasn't enough, she took _him_ there. She fucking took car-man to Lucky's. Then provoked him with 'fuck me' eyes and seductive twists to her strawberry tresses all while her husband stood oblivious.

And God forbid if he didn't follow her siren chant into the bathroom. Turnt by the whiff of lust she'd left behind, made giddy by her buxom hourglass figure clad in a wrap dress and delirious over the promising sway of her hips.

Then she looked at him, gazes engaging throughout the buffered grunge strain and shit, she looked almost insecure, an echo of vulnerability glazed a kind of desperate need. It was as if she needed to forget as much as him. Forget what... he didn't know.

It was supposed to be carnal, a means to an end implied in the silent agreement they shared as she locked the door.

But nah.

That selfish little muscle he had for a heart didn't allow it.

He'd leeched onto her neck and didn't let go, cause fuck if he did, he'd devour that mouth that panted hot and next close to his hear. Drink from that lingering rich fragrance of bourbon like it was her soul.

He'd left first. He had to because if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to look at her and not say something stupid and treacherous. He wasn't ready for that.

He'd also grabbed a bottle of bourbon on his way through the bar's back exit and drove to that storage unit. He sure as shit wasn't ready to let her go either.

 _You didn't tell him yet?_

 _Tell me what?_

 _You didn't tell him, huh?_

 _No._

He wondered if that was what had toppled him now... _that no._

That lithe whispered _don't._

That slight edge of panic in her eyes.

What? She didn't want to tell her husband because their marriage was so great?

 _Fucking bull._

With a hefty swing he crashed the crowbar against glass and gaudy yellow painted aluminium. Her frightened lil' yelps incensed his wrath even further. He was not used to feeling control slip like this. It wasn't how he operated. _Coercing_ partnerships with sinking ships wasn't part of his business plan. It had stopped being about money a long time ago. But at this stage, he didn't know what the hell this was about anymore. Love? Revenge? Hate? All of the above?

 _"You can have whatever you want! Just stop!"_

The crowbar hung high up in the air when the frantic feminine voice made him halt mid-destruction. He lowered it slowly and grinned contemplating her.

He sure as hell wouldn't leave the party without unearthing it.

Beth watched transfixed and distraught as the feline column of his body halted at her shout and the tongue that had given her so much pleasure lodged itself between the zircona white smile.

"Sixty percent?" he proposed with a tilt to his neck.

The last thing she presumed could happen when she _allocated_ a (deserving) part of the play money to herself, was being strong-armed into a partnership.

Perhaps it was time to stop assuming what was going to be part of her life's rich tapestry.

Screwing a sworn enemy in a public restroom wasn't supposed to be part of it, that was for sure.

It wasn't like he hadn't warned her that it wouldn't be a fair fight but what was he _doing?_ Was this some _The Art of War,_ 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' type of shit?

It wasn't like she wasn't expecting the violence either. She had seen that side of him. She had seen first handed the seeping calm running along with the viciousness. But this… it was different, it felt different. In the way that he'd felt different when she had her back against the bathroom wall and him deep inside her.

It had been so awkward afterwards. The way that they avoided each other's eyes as he stuffed his creamed cock back into his briefs and she cleaned the rest of him from her thighs. And then the way they couldn't stop staring at each other while she laced her navy wrap dress' ties and he zipped his pants.

They didn't share a word when he walked into the bathroom and neither did they when he stormed his way out of there leaving her disoriented and abashed.

"C'mon, Elizabeth." He drawled with what it was supposed to be his trademark side-loop smile but wasn't, "Don't push me, sweetheart."

Something had shifted in him. What had shifted she didn't know, but it sure as shit felt volatile and dangerous.

The man standing behind her like a fish out of water, the man that had diminished and terrorized her for six long years, that man had nothing on him.

As if she warranted her very own destruction, Beth felt real fear knit an invisible drop-stitch pattern scarf around her throat as she spoke the word, _"Fine."_

"A'ight," Rio mused with a secretive smile as he balanced the crowbar over the line of his shoulders and sauntered towards the double-doored entrance.

"You can't do this!"

Dean's whine sucked Beth's breath out of her lungs. Rio teetered for a second, hand on the door handle before turning on the balls of his feet. _Fuck._

"'Scuse me?" he said cheerfully.

Dean's chest puffed like a rooster about to crow, "This is still my dealership! Mine. Not yours. Mine! I'll call the FBI! You hear me? Piece of shit hood rat! You done for..."

Rio didn't even pay attention to him; the crowbar's oily tip pointed towards her and his dark eyes flashed amused, asking her if she was going to shut down his nonsense or if he had to.

"Dean..." Beth muttered as the savage dark gaze burned into hers, "Shut up. Please, just…"

"Or what? What's he gonna do? Shoot me again?" Dean seethed, fists balling up and the stance of his legs widening.

A cruel twitch of a smile appeared, then it was too late. He could've pulled his gun out and grooved the golden barrel onto Dean's forehead but he didn't. He could've swung the iron and shape Dean's head like an L but he didn't.

He just stopped a step away from Dean, craning his neck to stare at Dean's eyes for what to had about a minute before the grin broke out from his lips.

"So, here is the thing, _Dean."_ Rio drawled smoothly, "If we have a dick measuring contest, I'm gonna win. You're not fuckin' smarter than me but you ain't dumb either. So you do know that I'm within my rights to wipe you off the face of the earth, just… cause I can."

Rio's smile widened as he folded the turnup collar of Dean's business shirt, not frazzled at all by the 5 inches height Dean had over him.

"I can but I won't. Because we're going to go into business together. Well, _me and her."_ he said, patting Dean's flabby shaved cheeks not so sweetly. "You should go away for a bit, y'know? Maybe take a vacation. Go to the lakes, get some fresh air and whatnot, yeah?"

His gelid turnt smile could have grown an iceberg in the room, it certainly had frozen her in place.

"It's about time these ol' wheels got a new set of tires. Ain't that right, _Mrs Boland?"_

"He can't do this," Dean repeated, glaring murderously at her copacetic stance.

The dark midnight eyes never left her as he walked out the doors. "Oh, watch me."

And so the warfare began.


	20. Severance

Beth hated this time of the year. That stupid mid-season transition between Summer and Autumn which made it remarkably hard to decide what to wear. Mostly she loathed the perpetually intermittent drizzle that came with it; that kind of rain for which it didn't seem acceptable to carry an umbrella so the raindrops would slowly soak into your scalp forsaking humidity which turned hair into a frizzy rat's nest.

She pressed her forehead against the cold glass and sighed, watching one of those pesky raindrops wend down the double-storey windows. Unquestionably, she was just delaying the inevitable; she would have to venture into that rain without an umbrella, sooner rather than later.

Beth exhaled deeply at the forlorn prospect. Of all the ways she thought to succumb in this war, surrender was the last of them. That was if you could call _it_ a war anymore.

The foggy condensation left by her breath slowly faded from the windowpane, leaving the reflection of the man sound asleep in the bed behind her.

Bringing the sheet closer to her naked body, Beth shifted her back to the window and cherished the feline contour so inherent to Rio's physique.

If there was anything more compelling than a personal war, it was the possibility of doing 25+ to life at Ionia Max. And as it turned out, Agent Turner's threats, a decomposing body and a dash of parental love were enough ingredients to convert foes into— _whatever they were._

The path was rough, precarious and exhausting as it always was between the two of them. They veered through the always revolving cut and thrust that willed both of them on the verge of boiling anger:

 _"So I got your trash bag for you."_

 _"Where did you dump it?"_

 _"Nowhere. I figured I'll hold onto it for a bit. You know, just to be safe. One man's trash…"_

 _"Who are you protecting? You or me?"_

And the constantly bleeding back and forth that landed both on broken promises and raving tension:

 _"Oh, you think you're special, huh?_

 _"You need me."_

 _"You ain't nothing. I don't need you."_

And finally, some sort of middle ground that somehow left them equal parts skewed and vulnerable:

 _"Do you want your pharmacy back?"_

 _"Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for?"_

 _"Fifty-fifty."_

 _"You look good behind that desk."_

 _"Thank you."_

 _"Yeah, you'd look so much better on top of it."_

 _"Do we have a deal or not?"_

Eventually, she'd ended up on top of that desk but there was a little triumph when she whispered into his ear, _by the way… I would've taken forty,_ right as he unloaded deep inside her, the grouchy sheen of defeat in his eyes still stocked her kicks-meter till that day.

Beth let her bottom lip slip from under her teeth but the longing up-curve remained. Slowly she approached the bed and slumped onto the floor with a sigh. Resting her chin over the mattress, she watched his gilded chest rise and fall with sleep.

They hadn't played fair, just like they'd pledged to each other. And she would miss it; that relentless need to best one another. And that primitive tow that one way or another always led them onto the closest and most viable surface.

Even if the total lack of flesh-related boundaries had to be deducted from the fracas pretty early on, looking back she counted way more truces than lost battles.

All those times when they actually decided to play ball together instead of throwing it aimlessly around like a hot potato, either because the _green_ felt too good to deny opportunity or for Emma's sake, but somehow they learned to lean somewhere in the middle, in some kind of always burning cease-fire.

It wasn't like she'd let herself be on the same page as him for long. With them, things had a tendency to fall into place of rightfulness, a place where they didn't belong.

Speedy drops at the park prolonged into him pushing Emma on the swing while Beth sipped from the cup of coffee that began to emerge with him - half-and-half, no sugar, just how she liked it. Or watching him kick a soccer ball around with Danny and Kenny glued to his boots. Or the way he managed to snatch a smile from an always chary Jane with a pop-culture reference Beth didn't quite get. Sometimes they just sat there not saying anything and it was just… loaded, and in all kinds of possible ways just too painful _._

She wasn't even sure if there were victories; hers certainly came with a pricey cost. She'd push herself harder and harder trying to prove something and always managing to overstep her bounds.

His victories arose when she crossed that line, fucking up in some naive and terribly stupid way and he had to fix it. She couldn't say for sure what they cost him, but she saw a bit of his patience drain every time he had to remind her who was the boss.

Not able to take it as a fair loss, she'd invoke how much he still wanted her in return, even if she revealed her own need in the process and soon everything was back into that constantly boiling pot of lust and tragedy.

She'd certainly won the most important battles, the ones with herself.

She'd been clean for almost three months now. When she started to come up with excuses, Ruby had dragged her ass to a therapist as promised. After a few sessions, she began to open up a bit and had spilled some truths: her addiction to the pills, to Rio and to danger. Dr Raymond suggested NA meetings and bringing Dean in for couple's session. She went with the first and ignored the latter.

And although she'd loathed the meetings at the beginning and the whole pouring your heart out while holding hands made her sick to her stomach, she couldn't deny that they had helped her to a certain extent. She wasn't planning on sharing anything any time soon, _or ever,_ but listening to so many stories directly from the source and in so many ways similar to hers had made her realize that her motives for consumption weren't all that absurd.

She still struggled, every fucking day. You could snuff out the candle, the flame was gone, but the wicker? That stinker kept on smoking.

It was gruelling and _lonely._ And it was in those difficult times she'd adhere to him, heedless for a fix and he would give her one that somehow anchored her. They tried to keep it physical; it was almost ridiculous how they failed, and God… how they burned. They burned so intently that Beth feared they were burning their last bridge.

It wasn't like she wasn't expecting it. She saw it coming miles away. She'd been warned so many years ago - the last and perhaps the best advice her mother had given her.

It was Thanksgiving Eve and Beth was back home, on break from college and baring news. The engagement ring on her finger had beamed as much as her smile as she relayed the details to DeeDee.

"You're making a mistake," DeeDee had grumbled without even paying a glimpse to the ring that had belonged to Dean's grandmother.

"We're not marrying right away. I know it seems sudden but _he loves me."_

"Oh, I've seen the way he looks at you." DeeDee had said elbow-deep in turkey stuffing. _"That_ isn't love."

"And you'd be the expert, huh?" Beth had snapped.

"You're pretty. He's a man. Men love pretty things until they don't." She'd stated matter-of-factly.

"Dean is the best thing that happened to me in a long while, why can't you just be happy for me just once? He's a good, decent man," At that point, the heated exchanged had attracted Annie to the kitchen door but Beth hadn't been able to tone it down, "Why do you even hate him so much anyway? Oh my god! You're jealous? That's it, isn't it? You tried a pass on him and he refused you?"

"Ugh! Jesus H Christ! You are—" DeeDee had muttered under her breath, cleaning her hands under the running faucet before turning to Beth like she had the right to be offended, "Because he reeks of bullshit, dear. And I don't understand how you cannot see that."

In return, Beth thought she was within her right to truly cut DeeDee where it hurt.

"He's been there for me. Every single time. Either you drank yourself into oblivion or you stopped taking your pills or decided to take too many of them. And you know what the sad part is? He's going to be there for the next time. How long do you think it's going to take? One week? Nah? Two… tops."

DeeDee's elegant fingers quivered slightly as she took a white filter cigarette from the pack and lit it between her carmine lips, "That isn't fair. I've been sober for a month now—"

"Fair?" Beth spat in anger, "You know what's not fair? You doing this all the time! You flip the switch and we have to pretend to light up like your personal Christmas tree! Happy Fucking Holidays!"

"Don't you dare cuss at me!" DeeDee had said, slamming the pack of Marlboros against the kitchen counter, "I'm still the _mother_ here!"

 _"Mother?"_ Beth railed with indignation.

"Beth… no, please stop," Annie had whined softly.

Beth did not listen; every complaint she'd swallowed and kept inside her for so long seemed to want a turn out of her mouth.

"No, _DeeDee…_ Only an egoistic _child_ could think that playing dollhouse is gonna make up for any of the billions of ways, you chose booze _and men_ over your own blood! For ditching and neglecting us year after year after year. Your shit-faced apologies didn't make up for anything then, nor will do your dry-ass thanksgiving turkey now!"

DeeDee had leaned heavily over the kitchen aisle and right into Beth's gaze, "Well, congratulations! Now you have the handbook for what _not_ to do, don't you? So go on, marry him if you think doing that is going to make you the big adult you're trying to prove you can be."

"It was never my job to be the adult!" She bawled with fat tears swelling her eyes, "It wasn't my job!"

A heavy silence fell over the kitchen. All its deafening tension seemed to lodge itself on Beth's throat. She cleaned the treacherous, fat tears that furiously fell from the corners of her eyes, grabbed Annie's hand and walked away.

"It's not your fault. I hope you remember that."

She hounded, stopped in her tracks by DeeDee's voice, "What's not my fault?"

"When the spit lands on your forehead… you know, the day he leaves you. Because he will. People will always leave you because you don't know how to love. I was supposed to teach you how but alas..." DeeDee dragged as poisonous as the smoke she inhaled into her lungs.

"I guess you're right," Beth had cloyed, "After all, _who's left to love you?"_

That was it. She'd grabbed Annie's hand and dragged her to Ruby's and those hateful words were the last thing she'd said to her mother. That night DeeDee died pretty much as she had lived - in her sleep, clutched to a bottle of gin over the living room couch; ruptured brain aneurysm. How old was DeeDee then? 36-37? Younger than Beth was now. _Wasn't that odd?_

It was funny how people make such big deals out of the firsts in their lives. But the truth was that the lasts were way more important and beyond comparison. Had she known those words were the last thing she was gonna say to her mother, maybe she would have said something else. Maybe the outcome would have been different. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much.

Slowly, Beth brought her hand above Rio's muscular thigh, hovering as close as she dared without really touching him; she ran the length of his svelte naked body. She took her time imaginarily tracing the contour of his straight nose, the soft panes of his lips and the whisker dusted chin that not even half an hour ago had been between her legs, flailing her into pleasure for what he didn't know the last time.

She hadn't wanted to take chances and ruin the lasts with him so she chose not to say anything at all. When he'd ask her what was wrong after she stormed into his loft with the excuse that she had his cut and drove straight to his fancy bottle of bourbon, she had answered with a nothing.

 _"My husband took my kids… for the weekend." She'd quickly added, drowning a second finger of the amber liquid, "They won't be home till tomorrow," she'd continued as she removed her jacket and walked halfway to meet his saunter, grabbed him by the collar of his button-up and kissed him. Except a stupid, treacherous tear had almost given her away._

 _"Elizabeth…" He trawled, cradling her face and force-stopping the string of heated kisses she was leaving over his corded tattooed neck._

 _"Can we just— not talk?"_

 _The pad of his fingers skimmed over her ear as he tucked an untamed strand of hair away from her face, "When have we ever talked?"_

 _"Let's not start now."_

For a long minute, his eyes had dangled on hers, obscure and sibylline until Beth was sure he'd spurn her, but then his arms wrapped around her, fingers under the hem of her shirt, dipping into her waist. Demanding lips over hers and then no lips but clothes rushing over their heads. Skin on skin. Desperate moans as mouths clashing again. Punted shoes and bared heels kicking the staircase's nude floorboards. Entangled bodies falling over white tuffs of pillowy textiles. And rain battering the stained-glass skylights, showering them in an arrowing display of shadow and light and _God…_ now she was thinking it would've been easier to just ruin the lasts.

Either way, it didn't matter; Elizabeth Boland, fuckgurl extraordinaire, had done it again, played herself into a corner.

She'd been so engrossed in the challenge, so bothered by the opponent in front of her that she'd forgotten the one she'd been battling for way longer: _Dean._

Her husband had been way slicker than the wolf slipping into the sheep's skin. She should have suspected he was doing the kid's heads in the minute Emma had blatantly refused to go to the park. After all, she adored _Mr Rio_ and wouldn't miss an opportunity to spend time with him. She should have known something was off but he had kept her nose off the trail with the occasional slap to her face or her pride, and distracting twists like hiring teenage hitmen to end Rio, always doing just enough to keep her on the edge of what was supposed to be "normal"; it all came crashing down three nights before.

It was late, the kind of late where the kids were supposed to be dined, bathed and on the verge of being put to bed. She was happy to be home on time for that part for once, the last thing she expected was the intervention via pyjama party. Oh, it worked though.

One by one, her children read handwritten notes on how much they missed their mommy and how much they wanted her back home, how much they wanted everything to be just like _before._

Kenny read his _I love you, mom and I miss you_ like he had been forced to swallow a bag of sand.

Jane, more artless or better coached, candidly enlightened her that _before_ meant before Rio rolled up into their lives.

 _I liked it better when mommy didn't work as much,_ said Emma, stumbling on her patchwork words.

Danny, her shy golden boy, just handed her the letter with a tight hug and teary eyes. _We miss you, mommy._

With Jane's escape and Kenny's cry for help still fresh on her mind, the pressure of her children's tears and Dean's silent but poignant reprisal, Beth knew she was sitting on a powder keg. That was when she was supposed to make her stand. Her heart burst into terrified thumps, suddenly feeling too big for her own skin but instead of bursting and shedding it in the need to grow, Beth reverted.

How could she not? Had not everything she'd done been ultimately for the sake of her children? They were the only solid ground that she had - without them she was nothing.

"You can't just take them away." She'd said after the kids went upstairs to pick up their backpacks.

Dean just beamed, repeating the same words Rio had used on them months ago, _"Oh, watch me."_

"You heartless bastard," she spat, "Is it worth hurting them to punish me?"

"It is what it is," he shrugged.

Beth scoffed, "I guess it is, so why don't you tell me what you want?"

"I want everything like it was before."

"As it was before what?"

 _"Before._ When we were happy."

"When _you_ were happy, you mean." Beth chuckled humourlessly, "Cause for the life of me, I can't remember the last time you made me... _happy."_

The little demure comment was made with all the haste to wound his pride. The only (and flimsy) weapon she really had over him, instead, she was reminded of all the single times her body had betrayed her for the last six infernal years.

"Oh, honey, I've made you plenty happy." He'd said, closing up on her and pinning her against the wall. One of his knees between her legs, pressing against her core. "You enjoy this. You like it cause you get to play the tortured soul… but we both know the truth, don't we, _Betty?_ It takes a special kind of loving to stick to someone like you. You and all your shit ton of _delicate_ baggage."

She wasn't able to stop the hurt of the truth from unfurling plainly over her features, and Dean had laughed blatantly. One of his thick hands seized her jaw's hinges, squeezing just hard enough to hinder her lips slightly apart. Her mouth framed into a fish out of water startle before he planted a sopping kiss on her mouth.

"I know you. I've been inside you… _I fucking live here."_ He'd breathed in her face, butting his indicator against her forehead, hard enough for her head to reel, "I know every skeleton in your closet and I've been there for you always, ready to take care of you like no one else has, like no one will, because you're broken. I rescued you. I made your damaged goods mine. You owe me everything that you are, _everything._ And it doesn't matter how many deals you make with that devil, how many times you suck his cock with that mouth of yours, nothing's gonna change what you are. _Fucking nothing without me."_

As soon as multiple kids' feet stumped on top of their heads, Dean let go of her. Disgusted, Beth cleaned her mouth with the back of her hand, eyes burning with the effort not to shed tears.

"C'mon guys, time to go. We want to be at grandmas before dinner time." Dean said, rounding up the little ones and urging them to the car. "Call me when you're done with… _book club."_

"Wait! Dean, wait… what about Emma's birthday?" she'd hated how desperate and strangled her voice sounded. Almost as much as she'd hated the morally superior sigh he'd given in return.

"We're doing it at my mom's. The kids would love to see you then."

And just like that, he stated her access limitations. Kenny lingered behind, not sure what to do with his gangly arms until he decided to scratch the back of his neck. "Dad made us write the stupid letters..." he reeled, suddenly looking away and switching to what he really wanted to say, "He said you're having an affair with… _that guy."_

Beth framed his face between her hands. His blue eyes were glazed with tears and Beth never hated her husband more for putting her kids through such. Hating herself twice more for causing it.

"I know, baby," she said, placing a kiss onto his forehead, "I'm really sorry you had to hear about it like that. This is grown-up stuff, and it's not simple or easy to explain but when you come back home I'll answer any questions you have. Just— try not to worry about it, okay? Dad and I are fixing it. Have a great time at grandmas' and take care of your brother and sisters for me, alright? I promise everything will be back to normal very soon, okay?"

She watched her kids drive away, their little faces framed by the rear windshield, waving from the back seat and wasn't able to return the gesture. Even if just temporary their goodbye broke her heart in a way that it had broken only once before; suddenly she was 12 again, on her old front porch, waving goodbye to the father she would never see again.

She had blamed herself for the longest time. Maybe if she had been good, better or perhaps if she hadn't said goodbye then he wouldn't have been able to leave her. Of course, Beth knew better now. It wouldn't have mattered; either he'd just have driven away without glancing back or he'd have glanced back once the result would be the same. He never came back and all Beth remembered of him was a blurry pretty face and a dampened bitter voice.

Consumed by secondhand guilt she had rushed to the street and waved until the car was a small blip at the end of the road. By the time she'd lowered her arm, tears streamed freely down her face, never so acutely aware of how easily a goodbye could become permanent.

There were no tears now and she didn't want a goodbye either. But she found herself leaning over Rio's sleeping face unable to resist the urge to rake her fingers through his cropped hair.

There was something almost boyish to the way he slept, breathing gently with his arm curled up under his head, even if the thick veins under his skin mapped nothing but his manhood. God, he was just so handsome. The slopes of his finely carved cheekbones and the bridge of his nose were slightly darker than the rest of his face. It was as if the sun had kissed him just as deeply as she wanted to do.

Instead, words just came out, whispered through her parted lips, denied of his. "I'm sorry."

Just as she'd suspected, saying goodbye didn't ease the vice of pain. And as gentle and caring as the caress of her fingertips was, it didn't change the reality; broken people break things… break other people.

It was better this way.

Rio stirred in bed and Beth hastily pulled away from him. She grabbed the heap of her things and ran. The running wasn't physical and her soul underwent heavy as she feathered through his wooden floors like a lost wisp, although she knew exactly where she was heading.

She dressed methodically, treating each piece of clothing like armour plate, sheathing and containing all the things she could. What she couldn't she swept under the rug to deal with it later. By the time she'd fastened the last button of her navy-style pea coat, she had convinced herself numb. She slipped back into her pumps, tipped the rests of bourbon left in her glass and grabbed the notepad and pen he had laying on the sideboard by the lift.

 _'I'm done. No more cash. No more pills. No more us.'_

Leaning back, she looked at what she had written clinically. Her usually sharp hand-writing came out as an almost unreadable chicken-scratch and it sounded stupid.

The tears she'd deemed absent, swelled in her tear ducts, flooded her lower lids and fell. One hit the back of her hand, the other stained the paper. Furiously, she scribbled the few words on the paper and went over to the wet bar for a refill.

She almost screamed when something wet brushed against her ankle. _Bella._ Rio's Bull Terrier sniffed her leg again.

"Hey, girl!" she whispered, crouching to pet the dogs' white compact fur. "Buddy's going to miss you."

The animal seemed to understand, letting out a soft whine. "Shh, we don't wanna wake up the boss."

Bella tipped her egg-shaped head somewhat like her owner, the beady eyes conspicuously observing her. Beth smiled, scruffing the sides of the pet's face, "Go to bed, gorgeous."

Beth watched the dog disappear into the patio, topped the liquid courage and scornfully overlooked the piece of paper beyond the tumblers' rim. The amber liquid burned through her clogged throat like Drano through a blocked pipe. This time, the ballpoint pen flowed like a stick on wet sand and yet suspended almost as soon as it started. The soft thump of bare feet stopped her.

"Don't bother," the condescendence in his voice made the hairs on the back of her stood upright. "Notes between you and I tend to be… _overlooked."_

Beth didn't turn. She knew if she did she was fucked. She squared her shoulders instead and kept her aim on the brick wall, cataloguing his movement through her ears. The clink of glass and glug of liquor. Then the creak of the wooden cigar box, the one on top of the coffee table, the one she'd only seen him open once before, not that long ago, when she told him she'd been clean for three months and he said it called for celebration, and they made out on the leather sofa amidst sips of bourbon, thick clouds of smoke and freshly washed stacks of green.

The sudden snap of the cigar cutter made her jump a little. Then the hum of a torch lighter filled the room, succeeded by the scent of pure tobacco as Rio puffed deeply. Then he was close. Closer than she had expected. Close enough that she could discern the little crackle of the burning wrapper in the overly-ornated silence. Close enough that the gusted line of smoke caressed past her shoulders. Close enough that her eyelashes fluttered close. _Fuck._

* * *

"I was s'posed to hang a mirror right there. Feng Shui and whatnot. Never got 'round to do it," Rio drawled, stopping barely an inch from her.

The mussed-up blonde mane was just one dip away from his head. And God— all he wanted to do was wad its silkiness against his nose, breathe her in deep, say _don't go, don't leave._

The _Maduro's_ tip glowed red as he dragged quick and short rotating bursts from it. The empty tumbler thudded, harshly but muffled by the block of paper where she'd been writing that stupid goodbye note. Empty of smoke, his chest still felt overly full, an odd thing because the pain had lodged itself between his ribs and ate, and ate, and kept on eating until it left nothing there.

All the same and knowing he was makin' a fool out of himself, Rio leaned into her. It would've been fucking embarrassing hadn't she melted against him just as quickly and flawlessly.

It was what hurt the most; the way his chest draped over her back like a blanket and his mouth aligned to her temple for an effortless kiss that wouldn't happen. The way his arm bolted into the dip of her waist, palm curved, perfectly moulded to the slight round of her belly. The way he could just glide down further and his fingers would know the map of her pleasure by heart. The way he felt inside her… it should be a crime, but no point if he was a criminal.

"You see, I ain't needing no piece of paper tellin' me what your body been yellin' at me all night, darlin', like I don't need no mirror to see you... I can picture you just perfectly. "

The words came out scalding with emotion, all the things he couldn't hide from her no more and they just kept on pouring and wouldn't stop even when her body tensed against him like she was trying to steel herself from their burn.

"We've been doin' this dance, you and I, since the day we met. We come together and then we pull away… something pulls you away. And I'd like to say that I know what that thing is, that I know you better than anyone but… you won't let me. And I'd keep on tryin' to figure you out Elizabeth, but I can't keep twiddlin' no more. It just hurts too much, you know?"

"Rio, I—"

He shook his head in the crook of her neck, silencing her. "I don't blame you for tryin' the easy way out, we're both exhausted. But all I've ever asked of you was a lil' bit of honesty. Is that so hard?"

"Are you done patronizing me?" She returned, riled up.

"Yeah… I'm done. So fuckin' done…" His fingers run over the half legible note, "Ain't that what you want, Elizabeth?" He purred mockingly. Intentionally milking the sound of her name by the shell of her ear, and making her fidget just as he'd expected.

He could almost feel that roll of her eyes as she remitted with acidy, "What about Emma? Are you done with her too?"

A humourless smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. It wasn't like he wasn't expecting some kind of return, she had a gift with those lips, but the silence still sagged between them, as heavy as the ash hung from the cigar between his fingers. He let it burn unattended as he remembered the last time they met in the park and Emma acted shy and evasive:

 _"Dean took her brothers and sister to the aquarium and she's here. What did you expect? She's upset and confused."_ Beth had reminded when he hid his disappointment behind the paper cup, _"She doesn't know you, not really."_

 _"And whose fault is that?"_ He'd stared at her, jaw ticking.

Emma's pint-sized form had materialized by Beth's side, catching both unsuspecting, _"Mommy? Can we go home now?"_

He'd never forget how her voice had sounded even smaller or the way she'd looked at him like he'd taken the shape of one of the monsters he'd shooed away from under her bed.

His dad had once told him that the price of love was loss and that for men like them, losses came way more easily than love. He always thought his dad was being a smidge too dramatic but now as he kept losing and losing, Rio wasn't so sure anymore.

"You've said it before..." He droned bitterly and proceeded to paraphrase her, _"You're just confusing her. She already has a father, one far better than you will ever be."_

"You think this is any easier for me? You don't know anything!" She hissed back, voice trembling, "It's not just about Emma, okay? First Kenny binge eats then Jane runs away... I— "

Something wet slid down the slope of her cheek and was absorbed by his beard. He darted away from her as if she had burned him, and in a way she has. _Tears?_ And breathing raggedly like that? Like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders? As if she had the right to suck in his pain and make it hers? He didn't even let her finish.

"And how is that my problem?"

It was a low blow and he knew it. A clear, petty try for control, still, it didn't stop him from saying it.

"Nothing is ever your problem, is it?" She whirled around like a hurricane and _fuck…_ he was weak in the knees all of a sudden, basting in the sheer natural disaster that Elizabeth Boland was. "Not unless it strikes too close to your sanctimonious ass!"

It didn't help that her eyes were filled with tears, echoing deeply troubled blue oceans. And there she was, in all her glory, the goddess of annihilation, ready to drown him out of his own volition. He looked away before she could do it again. Feigned interest in his cigar, choosing to suffocate in the pungent tobacco instead.

"I didn't know how else to do this!" She continued, fists balled and quivering to her sides, travelling the distance he'd put between them, "Do you really expect people to come forward when they know you'll be waiting for them spitting nails and grinding your mighty axe?"

The smoke coiled between them, thick and downwards. He found himself staring at her tits, drawing that smug loop-side sneer he knew she hated.

"Oh, but the grindin' doesn't bother you when you want to be nailed, does it?"

"I— You—" she stammered, working through all the shades of pink and then some red while that pretty mouth of hers opened and closed like a goldfish thrown out of his bowl.

"Y-you're a _dick!"_ She finally howled, trembling head to toe. "You want truths? That's the truth. You're a dick, and a bully, and I hate you!"

Any other day he would've laughed at that, because it was ridiculous. The smile was there, tugging lazily at the other corner of his mouth, ready for a full-blown laugh. 'Cpet she was on his face, with that lush lower lip of hers quivering, and those damn tears began to fall and towing his heart with them. Because it was true. It's all over her pain-twisted face, right there in her woefully tempestuous eyes.

The first couple of strikes caught him off-guard, his body reeling as she lurched her rage at him. The ash tore apart from the cigar, heavy and ominous, and surely all hell broke loose; her balled fists plunged his chest in rapid-fire bursts, fed by the belted ammunition of her rhetoric: _"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."_

The blunt thumps filled the room along with her harrowing snivels. He took the shots, even if he'd never get used to the pain of her bullets. Held her upper arms and bore her wild careen not apt to stop it. All he could do was stare, felon to the torment she was going through.

* * *

Everything hurt but she couldn't stop. Her fists ached but her heart throbbed twice more. She kept hitting him. His torso teetering. She wished he'd struck her back. Wished he'd make her hateful words facts.

"I hate you… I hate… you," She whimpered between each withering blow.

She did. She hated him. She had to.

She hated how he just stood there, taking it. She hated that the mocking smile was gone and that there was no fire nor brimstone when the floor seemed to disintegrate underneath her feet. Only him, catching her as she sunk, whispering her name, cradling her to his lap.

And she hated how her head niched into his naked chest. She hated that she wasn't even crying; she was sobbing, wretchedly. She hated the way the sobs wracked through her body and that there was snot running from her nose. She hated how embarrassed she would feel later. She especially hated how words began to gush from her mouth, knotted between hiccups she couldn't control.

 _"Dean took... them._ He took… my… kids... and he's… right! It's all… my fault. I'm… just like... _her._ This wasn't… how it… was s'posed… to be. I promised… I'd never… be… her. I— I can't…I just... can't do this... to my... children. I—"

The horrible bawl continued for only God knows how long, and she hated that even his dog was a witness to it. She hated how the animal perched the shark-edge head over her dangling legs to comfort her. She hated how she'd curled up and further against Rio, that his lips lingered against the crown of her hair, and that he didn't seem to mind her wallow or how she was using his skin like tissue paper, the fact that he was way more solid than the hardwood floors beneath them and somehow she never felt more comfortable.

She notably hated the exhale of relief that overcame her at some point, and how his fingers swept through the stands of her hair as gently as the bristles on a hairbrush. Her face got crusty with the dried-up tears, and she hated how she'd cried herself hollow. It was so bad that even her bones began to chatter when the shivers overhauled her. And she hated how tenderly he carried her to the sofa, donned a knit throw around her shoulders and a snifter of cognac between her trembling hands.

"Drink,"

The gravel of his tone was rougher than usual as if he hadn't spoken in a while or had so much to say that it was all jumbled and sticky in his throat. A feeling that Beth knew too well.

She brought the glass to her mouth mechanically, not even fretting about the cloying taste. He nodded satisfied and disappeared from her line of sight.

Bella made nest by her feet, beady black eyes looking up at her once in a while as if making sure she was drinking as her master bid. He didn't take long to come back. By then, she was about finished and the alcohol was beginning to mellow her insides.

Her gaze trickled from his dark, jager eyes to the corded lines of his neck and the eagle tattoo, hovering there, in all innate preying prospect, so _him_.

She had to look away and _down_ was probably the worst option, cause he was wearing nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. And they just _hung_ from the sharply etched V of his groin. And that trail of barely-there hair was exactly at her eye-level, just kinda _dispersing_ right under said waistband. And she hated how she felt a little warmer.

She didn't have the strength or time to deliberate whether it was from the cognac or not, cause he closed in, right into her personal bubble, took her glass, placed it on the table and scooped her up as easily as if she were a feather.

He took her upstairs and into the master bathroom. The bathtub was brimming, white and high with bubbles and the familiar scent she recognized as his. She didn't object when he lowered her onto the floor and undid the buttons of her jacket. She kicked her pumps off and even raised her arms to ease the sweater off. Her bra was next, followed by her jeans and undies. And then she was naked. Like his touch did before, his deep dark eyes grazed over her, tender, almost doting... definitely charged but not exactly sexually.

There was something incredibly intimate in the way he helped her lay into the tub and sat by the edge, and his solicitous hands unknotted the tension on her neck. He gathered tufts of foam and burnished her upper arms, the span of her shoulders, and the arch of her breasts, peeking just above the froth. The balmy touch tore a sigh from the depths of her chest and he kept on working, quietly and empirically, his fingers ran magic down her ribs while the water slowly soaked through the tips of her hair. No saving from the fizzy rats' nest now, she mused pitifully.

"I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. It wasn't fair." She whispered when it felt right.

His touch fluctuated before he spoke, "It's never fair between us."

"No, never is." She replied softly, almost wistfully.

A beat passed and then another, and then the massage continued, his expert fingers rummaging through the base of her head, placing the right amount of pressure directly behind her ear lobes and God, she had to bite her lower lip to stop a rather smutty moan from escaping.

She had no idea how long had passed since she'd closed her eyes and just let herself enjoy. His touch was so earnest she entered some kind of trance, one so lush that when he spoke again she didn't even budge.

"Tell me what went down with Dean,"

And she did. It was easy somehow, to bring her knees up, bracing them against her chest and tell him all about Dean's ultimatum. How her absence and neglect had been gradually affecting her kids. How she knew better than to do what she'd done. Unexpectedly, she told him about DeeDee, her absent father and the broken home she grew up in. How much she'd yearned for her own family, to do it right. How apprehensive she'd been to start it. How terrified she'd been when she found out she was pregnant with Kenny and the possibility she'd look at him one day and shun him like her own mother did with her. How it all had been so breezy and rosy with Danny. How much she'd keen for Jane and how devastating it had been to reject her. How she'd struggled with her mental health ever since. How much pressure it had placed on her marriage and why she sought him out that fateful night. And how despite everything Emma had been a balm.

"What hurts the most is that he's right, you know?" she concluded, her chin now resting between the V of her knees, "I brought it all down on my family, my best friend, even her family. I'm a disaster. I keep spiralling and drowning, dragging the people I care about with me."

His fingers stopped petting her, as they had done through certain parts of her monologue but this time instead of continuing after a beat or two, he shuffled on the edge of the bathtub to face her.

"The people you care about, they love you." He said, "And when someone you love is drownin' you don't swim away, you stay close."

Beth tipped her head to the side, fresh tears stung at the corners of her eyes, forcing her to swallow the flimsiest of breaths, "Then why are we drifting apart?"

She wanted to take it back as soon as the words left her mouth. It was too implicit and he read right through. His jaw locked, Adam's apple bobbing under the inked lines of his neck. Once. Then one long sweatpant clad leg swung up the edge and inside the bathtub with a plop. Then the other. And Beth had just enough time to propel back as he just _sunk_ , sloshing water and bubbles everywhere.

Confound, all Beth could do was hold onto him as his arms reached for her thighs underwater and hoisted her up onto his lap. The next words were so loaded she could barely breathe.

"That ain't possible," He said, nuzzling against her, their mouths so close she could almost taste him. "When you left, that night we met, you took somethin' of mine with you."

"Emma," she said with the saddest of the smiles on her lips, her thumbs gently grazing the inked lines on the sides of his neck.

Rio chuckled lightly, "Yeah, shit, that too, but no that ain't it."

He took her hands and kissed her palms, one after the other before perching them over the left side of his sternum, right over his heart.

"You've had it all this time. So y'see, it don't matter how far we drift apart, I'll find my way back to you. Always."

"Oh, Rio…" she whispered, smoothing away from him, not able to bear the thought of it, "You need to take it back."

"I'm afraid it don't work like that, ma."

Rio's bronzed fingers interlocked with the milkiness of hers and it was almost sudden, the way the deep brown eyes magnetized her in place by the stark look on his face, one she had seen it before _._ And she was paralyzed by fear; terrible, overwhelming fear.

It was almost divine intervention - had she believed in that kind of stuff - when he brought her hand to his mouth and the hot tip of his tongue licked the centre of her palm seductively, otherwise, she wouldn't have been to stop him.

"Don't… don't say it." she murmured, dragging her fingers over his lips to silence him, "It doesn't mean anything in a bathtub, with the rain whipping against the window, saying goodbye like some sort of thwarted star-crossed lovers."

Rio grappled her hair behind her ear, eyes narrowed and lips resistant under her trundling fingertips. The seconds ticked loud in her ears, measured by the flow of her racing blood until he finally conceded.

"A'ight," he uttered in his crushed velvet voice, "I'll say it when I find you again."

Beth shook her head, aware she had to give him something else he wouldn't drop it, "Tell me... when it saves me."

He licked his lips, swallowing the bottom one in the process. The pads of his fingers traced her delicate ear shell, probed through the fine hairs at her nape. "What could you possibly need saving from?"

"Myself."

Beth closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, acutely aware that from now on she'd starve without it. By the time his thumb brushed her bottom lip she already throbbed for one more kiss.

"We should get outta here. You're turnin' into a prune," he drawled, with a hint of a laugh, "A blue one."

"Oh," Beth blushed, violently. She hadn't even noticed that the water had cooled down, or how her skin was crinkled and pasty from lingering too long in the bathtub. Bold of her to assume he'd want to ki—

His mouth clamped on hers, nose bumping her cheek in the urgency. The arm around her waist tightened, wrapping her in an embrace that swaddled her soul and kindled the fire in her lower belly.

Her back arched, flinging her breasts to the solid planes of his chest, urging her core against his hardened cock. Her fingers hooked onto his tricep, her nails dug into the curve of his neck, eyes fluttered closed and a faint moan escaped her throat at the taste of him; tasted like bourbon and tobacco; like fire and ash; like the goodbye she hadn't wanted.

The kiss deepened, moulding their open mouths together. Dark, veiny hands shaped the curve of her buttocks and winched them up. Her legs enveloped the small of his hips as he carried them out, dripping water all over the floor. Her ass was hauled onto a plush towel, folded over the marble vanity. Their bodies glistened, soaked by the bathwater and the ceiling lights.

Then it was like melting; the wet sweatpants clung to him like a second skin, and he clung to her like she was part of him. His lips became soft and compelling, his tongue tentatively brushing hers. And God, she would never understand the way one of his kisses could launch her heart into a fluttering frenzy and the next could rend it to a complete stop.

It summed up their relationship, never a half measured, always driven from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. From elation-full moments to stomach-dropping consequences.

Choice was an illusion and they its casualty. And as the kiss deepened and worked her blood into an effervescent boil, she had to wonder what repercussions this one last blissful moment would bring.

The remaining traces of rationality evaporated when one of his hands cupped her breast and kneaded it, provoking a moan between the ardent lock of lips. The pale globe overfilled his hand, the pink nipple raised and eager for his attention.

Rio dragged her lower lip between his sharp teeth, then cushioned his lips on her chin and caused havoc down her neck, his tongue swirled down her breastbone absorbing drips of water. He nipped at the curve of her breast, pinching the tightening areola into a peak. With a growl, he took it in his mouth, lips latching around it, sucking hard while his tongue whipped at the stiff bundle of nerve endings.

Little needles of pleasure stabbed down her spine and pierced through her loins, gushing fire through her nucleus like a broken dam. Just as well cause he was playing with her folds, feeling the wetness gathering there, making her quiver with little teases to her clit.

She held onto his nape, pinning him against her breast as his middle finger slid easily into her opening. Her hand squeezed the marble edge as he thrust in and out, skilfully circling her clit.

"Now. Please. I need you." She begged, her legs trembling with each stroke of his finger.

Rio released her nipple with a pop, only to seize her underboob between his lips, laving another water droplet into his mouth. He made his way up, pecking at her skin as she tugged at his sweatpants. He got the hint and squirmed out of them, the wet fabric heaped on the floor with a sopping plop, springing his hard, thick cock against her thigh.

He grabbed it, teasing the foreskin back and brushing the smooth crown in-between her wet seam. Her legs fluttered as he prodded further, making her grip the counter with both hands. Rio took hold of them, clutching to the back of her knees and holding her spread apart as he sank into her.

They both moaned as she stretched to accommodate his size. His forehead falling onto hers, his breath stumbling hot and jagged over her lips. She pecked him, sucking his lower lip between her teeth, tasting his tongue as he rocked his hips, sheathing the last of him into her with a growl so guttural it made her weak in the knees.

Then she was lost. She didn't think that she had felt this much pleasure before. Uncertain of which part she should admire first - the tight corded lines of his neck or the broad chest and muscular shoulders; maybe the veins bulging on his arms and hands as he gripped firmly to her legs or the rock hard abs, seesawing with each plunge; perhaps the V of his hips, magnificently dovetailing into vertex of her milky thighs or his cock, glistening with more wetness each time it emerged out of her.

In the end, it was his face that captured her full attention; shaded by thick eyelashes, the deep brown eyes showed more than what she wanted to know; his mouth slightly opened, asking for more than she could give.

Mercifully, her eyes rolled to a close when he buried himself wholly in her, dumbing her thoughts with a painstaking pounding that brought her close to the edge.

"Fuck," He dragged huskily, bitting not so gently into the crook of her neck as he pulled out of her.

She didn't have time to complain. He made his way down her body, nibbling, licking and suckling, flaring goosebump after goosebump all over her skin. With his breath hovering above her navel, he looked up at her and placed a kiss on her shaved mound, tongue dipping between the crest of her outer lips, just sweeping the little hood that hid her pearl of pleasure, plenty to make her toes curl in anticipation.

The flat of his tongue lapped at her, from bottom to top, barely swirling around her clit, enough for her breath to catch. He licked her again, only this time snatching her clit between his lips. He suckled at the little nub hard enough to make her head loll back, then pulled away with a whip of tongue that made her ass fly off the counter in the urge to follow it. He anchored her in place, palms securing her dewy inner thighs, fingers spreading her blush petals like the sun would unfurl a flower.

An abrupt sound left his throat, his indicator dipped inside her just the slightest bit, the pad of his finger emerged, coated with cream. The little sound coming from her was rather embarrassing, she should have been over it. By then he had tasted her in every place humanly possible, but damn her if her cheeks didn't tint from an excited glow to a boiled lobster red while he thoroughly licked her clean off his finger.

"Goddamnit, Elizabeth. You're so perfect here." He muttered, placing a kiss right over her cunt, "You don't even know."

He took her in his mouth again, and there was nothing teasing about it then. He ate her out with one objective only; make her cum.

He licked her, first her seams with slow, long strokes, then gnawed at her inner labia, slurping and releasing the sensitive flesh with gusto. Then lashed at her clit with quick little flicks that drove her into breathless pants. Then prodded her entrance with the stiff tip of his tongue, then one finger, and then a second.

He reached deep inside, curling and fondling, twisting and wheeling his wrist all while he sucked on her clit. Her moans got louder and strained as he built up speed and soon she was jerking and writhing against him.

There was no rest for the wicked, Rio growled, cupped her under-thighs and dragged her to the edge of the marble and into his face, eyes meeting hers over the length of her naked body, ready to watch her blossom before him.

And she did. Her cry of release filled the room and she seeped into his mouth like a burst opium poppy pod. He sure looked high on her, his eyes so fogged in an invisible opium cloud as he kept kissing and licking her again and again until the little shivers rocking her body subsided.

He kissed the inside of her thigh and slithered up her legs, caressing the curve of her hip while his sharp teeth nicked up her ribs, nose nudging the side of her breast with a hum. His tongue flicked over one taut nipple while his hand massaged her tit, his arm wrapped around her waist lifting out of the marble and lowering onto her unsteady legs. His mouth hungrily took hers only to give her a taste of her own poison; tangy and rich, surely addictive.

He pulled away from her lips gently and whirled her around, gathered the damp tuffs of her hair and tossed them to the right side of her neck. His nose and mouth veered into the bared column while he reached for her breasts from behind. He kneaded the bulks of her breasts and teased her nipples with dexterous fingers all while she watched him through the mirror.

She almost didn't recognize the Rubenesque figure in there, her skin lustrous with the post-orgasm glow, her lips swollen and crimson with the scores of his stubble, her eyes so drunk in lust the usual blue irises were all but gone.

His cock was wedged in her thigh gap and he rocked his hips, rubbing it back and forth against her wet cunt. Knowing she was watching, his hot mouth sizzled a hickey onto her pulse point, then licked the brand to ease the pain and flare her pleasure, that thin line he knew to draw so well, that fucking line that drove her crazy. With a little mewl, Beth chucked her buttocks into him, nudging the broad tip of his cock in her.

Rio laced one arm through her elbows, yanking at her arms. Her shoulders jerked back, propelling her breasts sensually up the air. He was rough, eager to drive them to the finish line. Each of his vigorous thrusts granted her abundant bosom a seedy jiggle. Watching him watching her through the mirror was pure lust, in it's all self-consuming, ravaging glory.

He squeezed his hold, driving her arms together, arching her back further and angling him deeper and harder. Beth didn't know which was the most erogenous part; the slap of his taut groin striking her supple buttocks; the feel of him lodged deep inside her; maybe their worked-up gasps; probably how close he was, how undone she was about to be; perhaps the whole pictured reflected in the mirror.

She told herself for the hundredth time it was just lust and hunger, a good fuck, fucking great sex, THE best sex - oh he was pounding her alright but then there was the languid and sweetly contrasting manner he was kissing her neck; the way he surveyed her, hand splayed over her belly like leather over porcelain, the way the calloused palm enfolded her breast and squeezed the soft pillow all so delicately.

"So goddamn perfect," he purred against her neck.

That way he talked… it was enough to make her witless heart flutter with something impossible. Stupid, stupid, heart.

Her breath slumped, heavy and ragged, just like his, falling over the curve of her shoulder, led by the momentum of his thrusts and soon the why and the reason faded away and all that mattered was the feeling itself.

It started so simply, first a rush to the turmoil he'd renew in her core, then heat shrank her, compressing her inner walls tightly around him. Her heart fluttered as he stilted, buried deep inside her. The explosion wrecked through them like a forest fire, scorching their nerve- endings to fucking zenith.

They both reeled forward with the stark jolt, her palms seized the vanity, thighs pressed against the marble for support while he clutched to the dip of her waist as if he was about to crumble. His neck craned and taut as his cock jerked against her flutter, milking the last of him into her kernel.

They stood like that for a moment, his forehead glued to the back of her head, his parted mouth hovering above the first nub of her spine, too jittery to move, too raw to call-out what this truly was - a grand finale.

He was the first to move, sliding out of her. She turned around still shaky on her legs. They just _panted_ and _gawked_ at each other like a duo of chumps, way too much behind said in the hermetic-like silence. Beth looked down and it was even worse, his cock still semi-hard and the tip beaded with their fluids. Her head snapped to the side, cheeks flaming.

He reached for her chin, gingerly tipping her face back to him. His eyes were beaming with the amusement that tugged the corner of his mouth, ready to release one of his jabs - the kind that made her equal parts annoyed and all warm and fuzzy inside. She didn't have enough liquor in her body for that; pretend she was okay with post-coital banter. She wasn't okay.

What a dumb idea, thinking this would bring any sort of closure. She was a fool believing she could beat a rigged game.

"I have to go,"

She pulled away hastily and started to grab her clothes - which were completely sopped by the puddle left by his sweatpants. Something swelled up in her heart at the sight, turning her vision suddenly swimmy. She bit the inside of her cheek, afraid she was about to perform another cringe-worthy spectacle of tear-shedding.

"You drank too much to drive. Besides, where you going? Home? To be alone?" he said matter of fact, "Let me put those in the dryer. Have a shower, relax for a bit, yeah?"

He took the bundle from her, popped the tub drain, walked behind the frameless shower screen and opened the faucet for her, "I'll be back in a minute."

Beth sighed resigned, locking the door after him, aware he was right and there was nothing but a barren house full of awful memories for her to return to. A shower did sound appealing, just something quick to wash the stickiness between her legs, but the waterfall showerhead did its job, relaxing her and she took way longer than planned.

When she finally walked out and into to the bedroom, swathed in a plush grey towel, Rio was leaning against the headboard, just in boxers, chest-height crossed arms, hair sleek with moisture, "You locked me out. I wanted to shower with you."

"I'm sure you'll get over it. We both got wet enough for one day,"

His grin crawled from one corner to the other with a flash of perfect white teeth, "Ah, we gonna have to agree to disagree on that one,"

Beth felt warmth spread up her bosom aware he wasn't talking about the same kind of wet as she.

"Uh, mind if I grab one of your tees?"

"Sure, first drawer on the left,"

Despite all the visits she'd made to his bedroom, it was actually the first time she was in his walk-in. It was perfectly sized for one and like the rest of the house spotless, borderline OCD level, every piece ordered by type, length and colour. Even the shoe rack. Her hand caressed the top cashmere sweater in a perfectly lined stack. Everything pretty much neutral or dark, no flashy colours and honestly, she couldn't picture him in anything different.

She opted for one of his shirts instead and let the towel unfurl down her feet, sliding her arms through the sleeves.

"You belong in one of those Renaissance paintings,"

Beth jumped, his husky purr almost next to her, and just as right he was leaning against the entrance frame, head tilted back, shadowing his dark eyes further.

Beth rolled her eyes at him, pushing the clinging bangs out of her face, pretty sure she was looking more like a wet cat than an oil madonna.

"Don't cut it,"

"What?" She froze confused as he prowled towards her in that fluid panther-footed assurance of his.

"Don't cut your hair. I like to push it out of your face." He said doing exactly just that.

"I've noticed." She said, fiddling with the row of clip buttons, "I've also noticed how you love to order people around."

He hummed, hooking a finger on the button she'd just fastened, yanking down just enough for the material to tighten over her breasts, "And usually I ain't got problems with people followin' them. You being the exception, always."

"Not always. I'm here, aren't I?"

He stepped closer, so close she had to crane her neck to look at him, "You're here cause you want to be here and when you leave it ain't gonna be me holdin' the door for you. None of this is 'bout what I want. If it was, we wouldn't be sayin' goodbye."

It hurt. The words hurt as much as his lips relieved her. The kiss was incredibly tender where the previous had been so urgent. He kissed the tip of her nose, and her cheeks, one eyelid and then the other, then her mouth again, dragging his lips down her chin as if he was trying to make it last.

Beth didn't open her eyes when he leaned onto her forehead, all at once afraid that this was it, that she should've done more or less or nothing at all, that he'd never touch again. But Rio had a different idea.

His hooked finger tugged hard, popping the row of buttons one after the other until a band of ivory emerged. He kissed her just as sweetly as earlier, grabbed her hips and nudged her backwards, their feet dancing, their tongues wagging and before she knew it, they were falling on the bed.

She climbed up his thighs and straddled his hips. Rio gripped her by the thut, bounding her forward. Her chest mashed onto his, his lips lenient and soft while his cock grew hot and harder between her legs.

Beth lifted her pelvis, hand slithering between them and past the elastic band of his boxers and enclosed him. She gently pumped the heated silk in her hand, making it swell and throb. She swallowed his moan and bit his lip, tongue swirling on the triangle of whiskers nestled under his lower lip. She nibbled his chin with her canine and pumped him again applying a tad more pressure this time, earning her a hiss and a toss of his dark head. She took the offering, licking a path down his neck and guzzled a sliver of his golden pectoral into her mouth, her pussy clenching with approval when the stone-hard abs undulated under her sultry breath.

She plucked at the waistband with her teeth and yanked at it and urging him to shift beneath her to free himself. Once fully naked, she cupped him and slowly retracted the foreskin, pressing her lips against the sensitive frenulum, then her tongue trawled up the tip before she swallowed him.

Something that sounded a lot like a _fuck,_ crept up his throat as she devoured the engorged shaft in one big arduous gulp. She slid back up slowly, locked her lips around the rimmed head and sucked on it, one hand worked his shaft while the other played with his balls. He moaned and the tang of precum quickly coated her tastebuds.

She glanced up, his gaze was fastened on her mouth seating his cock deep in her throat. He looked hazed as if he was observing her enveloped in opium smoke. That's when she noticed he was looking at her tits, framed by the shirt flaps and rebounding at each bob of her head.

Beth swallowed as much of him as she could, letting the moisture accumulate around his girth then pulled away. The heavy member fell with an obscene slush over his belly. She inched a bit further until her nipples brushed his cock and made it twitch.

"Elizabeth…" He stifled as she grabbed him by the base and the large globes snuggled him.

"That's my name." She murmured coyly.

"Jesus," he hissed as she raked her nails through his pubis, employing her inner arms to squeeze him tightly between her tits while slowly maneuvering up and down his shaft.

Rio's thick cock was long enough to peek above the swells of her breasts. The deeper tinted skin of his shaft made her translucent, blue-veined flesh even more remarkable. Beth increased her pace, cupping her breasts to better wrap him. His cock pulsed as she slid effortlessly over him and soon the fat tip emerged, seeping with precum.

"Sweetheart," he gasped, "If you keep that up, Imma come."

"Oh, really?" Beth stroked her hand along his veiny length and smiled, bending her head to lick the beaded dome before taking the full length into her mouth. His breath left his body, hips jerking as her tongue whipped around him and she moaned with him deep inside her.

"Come here, you lil' minx." He growled, reaching for her.

Beth slowly withdrew from him, kissing up his shaft and torso, laving the golden skin with her tongue after each kiss. She mounted his hips as he sat up and tugged at her sleeves, slowly exposing her shoulders. She slid out of the garment and laced her arms around his neck. Rio tossed the shirt and kneaded her buttocks eagerly.

"So wet," he hummed, guiding one hand down her cleft and slithering his fingers through her slit, "Y'see, mama? Never enough."

Beth rolled her eyes and her hips, trying to line him to her entrance but he kept her in place by lacing an arm tightly around her waist.

"Just do it already." She chided.

"So demanding! Do you like bossing people around?"

"Oh, shut up!"

He chuckled, "Oh, that's easy."

Raising her by the waist, Rio took her mouth while two fingers parted her labia and angling his cock to her entrance. Beth gasped into his mouth as the bulbous tip pressed in, feeling every vibrating inch of him slowly cramming her.

Rio groaned as she ground against him, her moan followed suit as her clit was stimulated by the base of his cock. A prickling sensation spread through her, spasming her inner walls around him.

He keened, sinking into the mattress, hands clutching tightly onto her hips as she slid up and down his cock and rolled over his crotch, ass hunkered low against his balls. She kept the same slow motion: up, down and coil, grinding her clit against his groin every time. Her nipples felt so taut they almost hurt and she was pre-sure she had a mini-orgasm when Rio teased them between his thumb and indicator. She reached for his pecs, feeling lightheaded as the little tingles accumulated like liquid heat in her head; and in the tips of her fingers; and her toes; and her cunt.

She didn't stop, she held onto Rio's muscular chest and rode back and forth faster and faster conducted by the hands clutched to her ribs, thumbs rooted right under her tits, hurtling wildly at her gallop. Her fingers delved into his flesh, blonde head tilted back, pearled throat and delicate blue veins exposed in open-mouthed ecstasy. She trembled and stilled and trembled all over again as the licks of the orgasmic release whipped through her.

Almost numb she collapsed forward, Rio wrapped his arms around her and began to thrust, driving his thick shaft in and out of her soaking wet cunt. Her juices slid down his cock, providing some more obscene sounds to the already loud&lewd ballsack pummels.

Beth moaned lustily against his shoulder when he brought a hand down her cleft and his middle finger rubbed tiny pressuring circles over her rimmed backdoor all while his big cock pistoned in and out of her at a breath-taking speed.

A familiar searing ball of warmth forged within her belly as he continuously slammed his hips up and down, his cock nearly popping out before it slid back in, perfectly angled to rub against what Beth thought had to be her g-spot because every time it did the immense pressure between her legs increased, her back arched and her pussy clenched in pre-orgasmic bliss.

His finger pierced through her opening with his next thrust and her pussy practically pushed his cock out with a slick pop. He groaned, sounding mildly frustrated, his shaft milling arduously between their tummies while she cried out and coming _hard AF,_ feeling empty and full all at the same time.

Prone over him, Beth dropped her head into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes waiting for the last of the shivers to subdue.

"You didn't finish," she murmured.

The hand travelling up and down her arm stopped mid caress as she flowed her palm from his balls to the tip of his member. The swollen shaft jerked over his belly as she continued her caress up his torso.

"Nah, mama." he drawled, rolling them over until she was on her back and he was between her legs, his glistening cock throbbing over her pussy. " _We_ ain't finished yet."

He planked onto his elbows and thrust his hands into her hair, finger splaying onto her scalp while looking at her through that liquid smoke gaze of his.

 _"_ What?" she asked, unable to stop herself from smiling lazily and give his tight glutes a playful squeeze.

"Nothin'," he purred, "Just admiring how beautiful you are."

"That's just the sex intoxication talking,"

"Oh, I'm definitely struck. I'm pretty sure it's from the sun rays comin' out of your pussy."

Beth giggled. "Oh, yeah? What does it feel like?"

Rio shifted his weight, angling his cock just so, and then thrust so deep inside her that her eyes flew open, her breath stolen along with her laugh.

"Like touching the sunrise,"

With the next roll of his hips, Rio took her mouth. He might as well, after that, they were simply past language.

* * *

"It's still early. Stay a little longer."

Beth shook her head, sliding her legs through her jeans and leaning back in bed to up-do the zipper and button.

"I'm blocking your number," she advised, running her fingers through her tousled blonde mane.

Rio chuckled, "Ouch. That's cold."

"I'm serious." She chided, head snapping over her shoulder only to snap back immediately, "Would you please put some clothes on? _This_ can't happen anymore. We need to stay away from each oth—"

"Did you mean it, when you said it?" he blurted out.

"Huh?" she frowned, confused not only by the words but by the sudden shift in his tone.

"When you said you loved me, did you mean it?"

"Rio, I—"

"Please, Elizabeth."

There was such a compelling need in his words that Beth found herself facing him, her tone barely a whisper, "Why does it matter now?"

"Cause I finally know what pushes you away." He lowered his gaze, looking almost nervous, something she'd deem impossible. "It's me."

It was her turn to look away. The early morning sunbeams basted the room through the skylights' tinted glass, giving it an old-world charm that didn't disagree with the almost sterile decoration.

"You are right. I'm a dick— a bully." He continued, "Hell, sweetheart, I'm worse than that. I'm capable of things you can't even begin to imagine…" He frowned, and shook his head, "Shit, I guess you can."

"I don't know what you want me to say,"

"I want you to listen," he dragged his body through the bed, stopping way too close to her, "I don't know your full history with Dean but do know it weighs you down heavier than ours. I know it ain't right. He wants to keep you and I understand it, more than I'd like to. I know you have little trust in me after all the shit I've put you through but I'd never be capable of using my own child against you. That's low. You deserve more. You deserve someone that can do better. I want to do better, Elizabeth. With you, I can. I know I will."

A beat passed and then another, his fingers hooked her hair behind her ear, the pads tracing the contour of her cheek.

"I'm gonna ask you again. One last time," he drawled, "What do you want, Elizabeth?"

The question felt like a grappling hook digging through her. He was staring at her with an eager expression of infinite patience and she couldn't look away. That terrible, overwhelming fear consumed her from within all over again. And this time there was no stopping it.

She had never wanted to run so much in her life but the reality was that she had nowhere to run to, not from that deep-seated horror, one that had brewed in her loins for so long and sneaked up her spine, creeping between her ribs and settling in her heart until she finally perceived it as truth — she would never be able to live up to what radiated from his eyes with such intensity, she'd ruin it, and her heart would end up broken twice instead of once.

"I always thought that when I'd have children I would have something truly mine, that no one could take away. But the truth is that the moment they come out of you, you start losing them. They grow, most likely to hate you like you hated your own parents. And it might seem like a long time till mine outgrow the nest but it was just yesterday that I held them for the first time… it already feels like they started hating me."

Beth tore her gaze from his, her eyes hurting with the effort of keeping the tears away.

"I wish it could be different between us but I can't make it just about me, my children come first, they always will."

"I can wait… I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

Beth shook her head, "I can't ask you to do that."

"You ain't askin', I'm offering."

"God, stop!" She said, the tears now impossible to contain, "Listen to yourself! No, Rio. No. It won't work!"

"You don't know that," he insisted.

"We are a mess! I'm a mess! And I won't risk losing my kids again."

"We can fight it, Elizabeth. I have money, lawyers—"

"And Dean has all the ammunition. He knows everything. Us. Book Club. The Oxy… I can't gamble it."

His jaw rocked, a sheen she had seen before glazed his eyes, "I'll kill him."

"And then what? We live happily ever after?" She snapped, "You think our lives will resume to this? To what happened in this bed? Have you really thought about it? I come in a package of five, not two. Even _if_ you were ready, even _if_ we reached that far they would hate your guts, Dean made sure of that."

"So that's it? You're not even willing to try? You just gonna give up?"

No, she wasn't. Giving up would be putting a bullet in her head, take a mouthful of pills, slit her wrists open or driving her car at full speed hurtling towards a wall - which had crossed her mind as she waited for him last night.

"I'm doing what's best for everyone."

He narrowed his eyes at her, sucking in his mouth, "Is that right? Cuz' it sounds like you're doin' what _Deansie_ wants."

"Turns out it's what I want too."

"A'ight then," He nodded with a disapproving curl of the lip.

Then proceeded to lean back, perched onto an elbow, mostly ignoring her. She couldn't blame him for it. Her gaze travelled down the feline-like contour of him, her mouth a tight, swollen-red line as her heart thumped close to her throat. She closed her eyes and snapped out of it, hands trembling as she ran them through her hair again. She slid into her pumps and walked to the stairs, lingering on the first tread, feeling his eyes burning holes through her.

"Don't worry, Elizabeth." He purred, milking her name like he only could, "I'm a big boy. _I'll get over it."_

She nodded, that was great, someone should.

* * *

The heavy wrought-iron gate locked behind her, the sun hit her on the face way too warm and lovely after such a pour-heavy night. Most people would take it as good presage, Beth didn't. She hadn't thrown enough good things at the universe for the heavens to smile down at her.

Car keys already in hand, she walked the short distance to her car and climbed in. She fished for her phone and didn't drag it out any longer. Dean picked up almost immediately with an arid _Yeah,_ as if he'd been waiting, as if he lived inside her head just as he'd claimed to.

"It's over. Bring the children home."

She ended the call not bothering with saying anything else, she didn't think she could anyways, her mouth felt like a pit of sawdust. Breathing was remarkably difficult all of a sudden. The more she tried to pull air into her lungs the most constricted her ribcage felt. Tiny dark dots emerged through tunnelling vision. Hyperventilating, she tapped her way on the door's panel until she found the handle. The warm breeze didn't exactly help but the lurch on her stomach and the following jet of its contents did.

Beth then dropped back onto the headrest, wiping her mouth with the back of her trembling hand. Across the street, the same brick wall she'd stared at the previous night faced her again and it was too easy to imagine her foot slamming the gas the pedal, turning off the hand-brake and just—

Beth shook her head, this strange need consuming her all of a sudden.

She wasn't religious, far from it. The last time she prayed was 30 years or so ago. The last time she stepped into a church even longer; hauled by Ruby's mother, church had produced quite an impression on a 6-year old Beth, at least coming from a home where God's name was thrown in vain every conversation or so.

She peered at the sky through the bug-streaked windshield and brought her hands together awkwardly, the concept of praying was so foreign that she didn't know how to begin. Feeling extremely foolish, Beth cackled out loud only to spring into tears again. But what had she to lose at this point?

With a deep inhale, she settled for a shaky: "Hello, uh, God?"

The next part came a bit more easily after she swallowed a second wave of ridiculousness anyways.

"I… uh, it's been quite a while since we… uh, talked… uh, directly... but it's nice to meet you again, I guess. I— I'm not among the best in your flock… I'm sure you can easily find me easily among the black sheep." She tried a smile through the tears that filled the corners of her mouth, "But I hope I've, uh… somehow expressed my gratitude for all the blessings you gave to me. It's hard to remember them sometimes... when I— uh, when I-I've—"

Beth wavered, her lips trembling too much to continue.

"I'm in serious trouble." She whispered through the snivels, "I don't know how to go through with this."

She brought her hands to her face, burying the sobs in them, "Please, tell me what to do. God, help me, please. Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

The chanting continued until she was out of tears. When she dragged her hands through her face, with was with a purging sense of relief. She quickly reminded herself she didn't believe any of this; that God didn't answer to no one's prayers.

She said the same when she lowered the sun visor to look at herself on the small mirror and this eerie beam of light reflected onto her necklace.

Her hand reached up, fiddling with the hanging gold bar, her thumb grazing through the engraved letters there: _Elizabeth._

She closed her eyes knowing exactly what to do.

The dainty chain tore easily apart as she yanked at it.

She wished it had been as easy to leave it behind.


End file.
